 Poster: A snowHead
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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This would be someone else's 'eaves drop',only fortunately(for me)no one heard it(or saw it),I hope.Youngest daughters first trip to the real stuff,having learnt at a dome.Me and said 6yr old,doing a nice blue at Valmorel.I'm doing the nervous father bit,take it easy,watch out for bumps etc.She's doing well,nice and controlled with proud father calling out words of encouragement,and guidance then..........whoosh,I'm off the edge of the piste,down a bank and into a tree.By the time I untangled myself,and emerged over the bank,feeling a total prat  she's gone  Panic filled blast down to lift,and she's there(relief!!)"Can we do it again daddy?only this time try not to fall over" 
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Deux Alpes a few years back in a very, very crowded bubble first thing in the morning.
My mate and I had had a very beery night the night before so feeling numb, dull etc. I was daydreaming looking out the window and feeling pleased that no-one was talking, just like the Tube at rush hour. Then I heard a French woman say "merde" and then some sniggering. Almost simultaneously a very pungent odour wafted under my nose, obviosuly the product of someones nether regions. I half turned to see the majority of people looking at me and laughing and then completely turned to see my mate (the culprit) pointing at me.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Obergurgl, Jan 9th 2005, Top of the Wormkogel - circa 3600m, Italy on one side and a near vertical black run drop-off on the other side.
Man: "Don't take your boots off or you'll never get them back on."
Wife: "I don't care, they're killing me."
Man: "Suit yourself."
Wife (kicking boots off): "Oh no, one has gone down the black run!"
I nearly fainted with laughter and had my one and only crash of the holiday on that black run thinking of this 5 minutes later.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Not eavesdropping as such but my favourite pink rubber glove moment of all time. We have a tradition where at dinner each day people nominate each other for the most ridiculous act on or off piste. Who ever "wins" has to wear the pink rubber glove all day on the snow in a visible place but not on your hand.
My brother who had learnt to snowboard at Milton Keynes was doing pretty well ont he real stuff but hadn't has any lessons and was just going up and down an easy blue with his missus and a mate. On the second day he was full of it yeah went right to the top boarded down no problems blah blah blah. been on a chair for the first time didn't fall off cool. So isaid chairs are so much better than the drag lifts aren't they. To which he agred but then said it gets a bit tiring on your leg or do you take your board off. I said no just keep one foot in the binding and rest the board on the support under the chair.
"But there isn't a support"
"Oh well there is normally maybe you were on an old chair"
"No it was the main one coming up the mountain"
"Maybe you just had a dodgy single chair that was broken?"
"10 times"
"and also its a bit dangerous isn't what's to stop you falling off"
"the bar"
what bar?
"the one above you"
"yeah well I held onto that but I could only just reach"
then the penny dropped he hadn't realised that you bring the bar down and was stretcxhing up to hold ontot he footrests - no wonder he was terrified
fantastic
he wore the rubber glove nearly allw eek for that
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Just to go back a bit - left and right skis.
Scotty Bob hand made skis.
Definately a left and right!!
From http://www.scottybob.com/
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ashton parker,
Brilliant!
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I was on a chair in Whistler sitting next to a couple of Americans. One of them says to his friend: "I can't believe this resort keeps getting voted No.1 in North America. It's good but how can they say it's better than Vail? There's nothing like the back bowls here, it just doesn't compare."
There was then a pause, and he then added "Of course I've never actually been to Vail."
I nearly fell off the chair!
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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British guy to his friend (this was in Austria), on being informed his instructor would be Herr Schoenberg: "Why do these people all seem to have such wierd names?"
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snowball,my daughter did 'that' in France.On being told her ESF instructor was named Jean Claude she blurted out "how am I supposed to find him,they're all(meaning frenchmen) called that"!!.There were a few giggles around us;we were stood in the ESF booking office at the time
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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In 99 on the return coach from Tignes to Geneve and following some of he best snow I've ever experienced, I had the misfortune to sit behind two of the most miserable women on the planet for the duration of the trip. With their hubbies and some of their brats exiled to the other side of the bus one talked AT the other in the loudest home counties voices imaginable, describing their 'family' 'ski' holiday - with regularly interjections from the daughter.
The conversation went something like this,
Simone (10 year old daughter): "But muuuuuuuuuuummy, it huuuuuuuurts,....pleeeeeeease! sob, sob..." - repeat every 30 sec's for next 4 hours
The 'Mother': ".....Shut up Simone, we'll buy some aspirin when we get home!......Well I'll NEVER ski with the family again!..... I mean, it snowed ALL week!..... AND!...... when we did get sun there were never any deckchairs available! .......and........ Simone just didn't stop wining about her leg (Broken judging by the cast) being sore all week.......and the nannies! ..... well, I mean.....they were supposed to take the kids from 0830 to 1900 but they never turned up until 0845......... and well....... The baby sitters!.....they expected to be paid from 1930 even if we didn't go out until 2000hrs!........and this coach!......Shut up Simone!...I mean....... when you spend £5000 on a chalet for a week, Simone SHUT-UP!, you don't expect to have to travel with other people!....OH, MY, GOD! ...... the school run! .....I can't face it!.....Still, at least I don't need to pick them up again until half term.......... "
Eventually, one of the OIKS on the bus exploded at the women and told her to shut up and assist her kid who was obviously in some distress!
It makes a mildly amusing story to recount now but at the time it was torture as every time she dismissed her kids plea for help or contradicted a statement she had just made, I wanted to lean over on pound on her head!!!!!
I'm pacifist, but some people!!!!!!
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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Boardski, was that on a Mark Warner holiday by any chance?
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Boardski, some people should never be allowed to have kids 
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You know it makes sense.
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Or go skiing 
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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D G Orf, is the corollary that other people should be made to? 
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Poster: A snowHead
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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There are times when you think you want to be over heard and then discover it was not such a great idea. My mate discovered this to his cost following a superb trip to the 3V’s.
On final approach to Glasgow airport my mates and I chatted happily about the noises of the plane. As we descended further a loud(ish) "bzzzzzzzzzzz-clunk" was heard on the left hand side of the aircraft to which my mate exclaimed "that's the left wheel down!" Almost simultaneously a sound from the right hand side "bzzzzzzzzzz" – silence - mate comments "right wheels NOT!" Long pause "bzzzzzzzzzz"-silence- " STILL NOT!" Further pause "bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" - silence- My mate then exclaimed in a loud gruff put on yank accent "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" and "Don't panic....Don't panic!" Much nervous laughter was turned to measured panic as a huge roar came from the engines and we rapidly ascended back it to the sky.
The bravado shown by my mate with his "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" and "don't panic!" statements was suddenly replaced with whimpering "d'ya think we are we gonna die…are we?" It took a number of stewardesses and a tannoy call from the captain, explaining that the issue was a light tail wind on landing, to calm things down amongst the passengers near by.
We circled for an hour or so until two bzzzzzzzzz-clunks were heard. We landed safely and we all disembarked except my mate who was held back to receive lecture from the captain and subsequently airline security. He avoided being excluded from flying in the future by bluffing his case and saying it was a panic attack and not a childish prank that went wrong.
We still don't know what the "bzzzzzz-clunk" stuff was all about.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Well it certainly sounds as if something wasn't locking into place, I very much doubt that a light tail wind would cause a go arround plus circling for an hour (presumably to burn off fuel) much more likely is a mechanical fault
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Boardski, sounds like your mate had it right. Air Traffic Control would have vectored them in to land into wind in the first place. Even if the wind then suddenly changed on approach a light tail-wind wouldn't be sufficient to abort the landing.
Nor would it explain one hour of circling: they were feeding you horsesh!t to calm the "panic". The "bzzz-clunk" was probably the undercarriage. There is often a small delay between left & right wheels coming down. In this case the right wheel probably wouldn't lock into place.
Slats & flaps are also deployed on approach, and make a noise, but both wings should always deploy at the same time, not left, then right.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Boardski, I too reckon your mate corrected guessed the meaning of the noises. But it wasn't wise to mouth off about them. I've had an aborted landing in Dubai because somebody forgot to put any wheels down. Honest. One trainee pilot off the course.
Whoever took over in the cockpit pulled the plane up hard, then fed us 'rhubarb' about air traffic control instructions and gave us a nice fly round Burg Al Arab (the 7* hotel). Nice reassuring thunks as the wheels went down for the second final approach.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Only go-around I've experienced was at Baltimore when two planes were cleared for landing on crossing runways. We continued but the other aircraft pulled up sharply and flew over the top of us. I think I was the only non-crew to notice as I watched it all the way down from before final approach. There was no mention of it by any crew, but it was close enough (a real near-miss) for them to have definitely noticed. 
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Last week at the pub we were discussing ski holidays when someone complained about the awfull conditions they had experienced. He had been to Val d'Isere in late January and his complaint was 'There was about a foot of loose, sic, snow on all the pistes. It was impossible to ski on'. What a waste!
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Hearing, after having wobbled very slowly and very very petrified down an icey black piste, a fellow (profient) skier whizz past, stop at cafe, and comment "Well that was fun now wasn't it? What's next?" What's next was very nearly a pummelling of fellow skiier, and a definate stop for dutch courage!
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