 Poster: A snowHead
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What is the funniest comment you overheard on the piste?
Ours was in the 'Jump' in Courchevel 1850, we had stopped to defrost after a good days skiing (to set the scene - the pistes were pretty quiet because it had been snowing hard and there was a sharp wind blowing). We overheard a man saying in a resigned tone to his teenage daughter "So exactly why did you burn your ski pass?"
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Lorraine Agass, LOL!!!!
Queuing with tray for lunchtime food (January 2004) - two ladies just ahead, ".....Ryanair - I hate them! You know if they weren't so cheap and if they didn't fly where we wanted to go I'd never use them!"
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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On the terrace of the Cabane de Poutat restaurant, Alpe D'Huez a bunch of British blokes who were old enough to know better demanding steak frites "show me it on the menu and I will get it for you" asked the now quite rattled waiter. It wasn't on the menu so they all ordered spaghetti carbonara and when it turned up one shouted "bloody 'ell theres an egg on top of this lot and it 'int cooked" They didn't eat much, whinged at the bill then made a big show of not leaving a tip. Funny and cringe makingly embarrassing.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Heard in The Pub in LaTania " No I aint a qualified Nanny I just told 'em I was to get the job they never check. Any how as a Nanny you get every night off and can sleep when the kids have their Afternoon Nap."
And Yes that particular employer is still operating in La Tania.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Not quite eaves dropping but . . .
I used to have my bindings set quite loose after a few injuries and one of my skis released on a harsh turn, followed by a comical attempt to ski on but in reality only drawing attention to a 30 yard bambi on ice fall.
One of my snowboarder mates collected my ski, brought it over and asked "Are they meant to do that ?". He was semi-serious.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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one of the chaps at work, having returned to val d'isere the week after 126cm of snow fell (late jan this year)
"No I didn't really like it, the skiing wasn;t too good. all very easy, nothing challenging"
Now I've never skiied with him, and he may be an excellent skiier, but somehow I doubt it....
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Craig Bellamy - about Graeme Souness " He was talking about me behind my back right in front of my face " Doh ?
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nbt, you never know, they might not have found the good bits.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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| nbt wrote: |
one of the chaps at work, having returned to val d'isere the week after 126cm of snow fell (late jan this year)
"No I didn't really like it, the skiing wasn;t too good. all very easy, nothing challenging"
Now I've never skiied with him, and he may be an excellent skiier, but somehow I doubt it.... |
Delighted to hear this. at least that's another punter not choking up the lifts at my fav resort 
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"Well, what shall we do today then? The conditions are awful!"
5* Hotel lobby, group of male 30/40 something skiiers, all new gear - powder day 
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Friend of mine: "off-piste would be a lot easier without the trees, bushes and rocks dotted about"
Yeah, if they groomed it and put piste markers where you want to go that would "improve" matters as well......
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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In a bar in La Plagne, next to 2 SCGB Reps shortly after MO day...
"If my wife ever saw some of the stuff posted on the forum about reps, I'd never be allowed to rep again"
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Waiting for the first lift one morning a gentleman asked me where where the lift went. My response was "Up"
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You know it makes sense.
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The worst thing I ever heard was when I was stood waiting to step onto the cable car at St Gervais, they come round every few seconds and there was no queue, what I heard was some home counties accent bellowing out "we can get on this one, the boarder can wait for the next one" .........
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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The best, OK, it was a repeat of a comment made by an anchorwoman to a weatherman, but the version I heard was at the first EpicSki Academy, when on one of the days, Augie, a telemarker, had announced to everyone that there would be a good overnight snowfall. It didn't happen. At the closing banquet the following evening, he got up to make a speech, and Mary, another telemarker, just heckled him with "What happened to the 8 inches you promised me last night?"
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Poster: A snowHead
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While sitting down to dinner one evening last week, one of my party came up with, "I just don't like Italians. They really wind me up." Not bad, considering we were sitting in a hotel in Courmayeur at the time.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Overheard by my best friend by a 'new pupil' to a recently-introduced instructor.
" Is there ever a left and right ski?'
... and do you think he'll ever let me forget it ?
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Newbie50, Actually I've had handed skis before now. I rented a pair of slalon skis and they had a different arc on the inside are outside edges. I put them on the wrong way round once after lunch and couldn't figure out for ages where I was going wrong! It really did make a difference.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Overheard in a ski shop I was working in in 1977:
"He's mounted the ski bindings facing the wrong direction".
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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David Goldsmith, were they right?
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Given the weather we have now.....'Are the ski lessons (on the dryslope) cancelled due to the snow' ? 
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.ski, there was actually a time when we closed our dry slope (to the public at least) because of snow. Official reason was because it was too fast to be safe, unofficial reason was it gave us the chance to ski it first.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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| Chris Reed wrote: |
| Newbie50, Actually I've had handed skis before now. I rented a pair of slalon skis and they had a different arc on the inside are outside edges. I put them on the wrong way round once after lunch and couldn't figure out for ages where I was going wrong! It really did make a difference. |
I seem to remember about 15 years a friend owned or hired a pair of skis which were handed but could be worn on either foot. The two edges of each ski had different characteristics from each other. I can't remember what make the skis were not what was different about the edges. Sounds extremely weird; perhaps I was pissed, but I'm sure that that was the idea.
Last edited by You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net. on Wed 23-02-05 18:31; edited 1 time in total
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Newbie50, I once wrecked the edges on one side of my skis so badly I had to put "L" & "R" on them so I always had the good edge as my inside edge when it was my turning ski.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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thathappend to may mate in val d'isere, he was very glad he'd brought his old skis as well as the new ones - the 1080's stayed in the bag all week, and the old k2's did sterling service even when he ble out the edge
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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Okanagan, yep - we've done that too ! 
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| richmond wrote: |
| Chris Reed wrote: |
| Newbie50, Actually I've had handed skis before now. I rented a pair of slalon skis and they had a different arc on the inside are outside edges. I put them on the wrong way round once after lunch and couldn't figure out for ages where I was going wrong! It really did make a difference. |
I seem to remember about 15 years a friend owned or hired a pair of skis which were handed but could be worn on either foot. The two edges of each ski had different charactersitics from each other. I can't remember what make the skis were not what was different about the edges. Sounds extremely weird; perhaps I was pissed, but I'm sure that that was the idea. |
Dynastar made these in the late 1980s. You were supposed to have the hard edges on the inside for ice and (by swapping the skis over) the other edges for softer conditions. Well.. that was the theory, or at least the marketing spiel.
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You know it makes sense.
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| Newbie50 wrote: |
Overheard by my best friend by a 'new pupil' to a recently-introduced instructor.
" Is there ever a left and right ski?'
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Although I hadn't come across the handed skis Chris mentions, in years gone by the person who serviced my skis used to tune the edges in a "sided" manner. I never did really understand it and was always too afraid of the concequences of trying the "R" ski on the left etc so I cannot report if it was just BS or not!
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Chris Reed, SimonN, jtr, marc gledhill, Left vs Right skis --- see I still get it all wrong ! To be fair the instructor only laughed a little bit ... he knew I meant hiring them out of the shops this year 
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Poster: A snowHead
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In fact I read an article recently about a swiss company that have started doing asymmetric skis - Movement skis. http://www.movementskis.com/
The skies in question (the Free heel) where designed for Telemark and the reasoning goes that in any turn (Skiing Alpine or Telemark) the inside ski has a shorter turning radius than the outside ski so make the ski sidecut radius different inside edge to outside edge. I guess they aim these at Tele as in a Tele turn both skis are weighted evenly so the different radius makes more of a difference 
I have no idea if it makes them ski better or not!
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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A bloke commented on my Salomon 90's 115mm wide blades "Oh look, somebody's cut his ski's in half", to which my wife retorted "Well I've always said short and wide is preferable to long and thin!" looking at his ski's in disdain.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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I've been reading this with a worried thought that someone would quote some stupid remark they've overhead ME make whilst stood in a lift queue etc. Luckily there's none yet, but having been the contributor of so many gaff's all said in innocence, i'm sure something will turn up at some point. Something along the lines of "I once overheard this Yorkshire bird say ......."
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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| hyweljenkins wrote: |
| While sitting down to dinner one evening last week, one of my party came up with, "I just don't like Italians. They really wind me up." Not bad, considering we were sitting in a hotel in Courmayeur at the time. |
Like a friends wife, her opening shot was "it smells of cheese on here" which didn't seem unusual for fondue restaurant, followed by "Pertti, that's a really strange name," (to one of my friends) to which the reply was "not in Finland it's not", follwed by "where are you from then?" .... reply "err. Finland" 
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Five years ago I went skiing with my best friend and his wife in Cervinia, whilst there they decided to invest in their own boots. A favourable deal was struck at Plan Maison to include free boot bags. On collection of the bags they were found to be of the most horrific luminous colours, one pink and one yellow. Arrival at Gatwick baggage collection on our return saw us standing at the "end" of the conveyor and the entire flight was pointing, giggling and nudging as the boot bags passed each of them. My mate quickly grabbed the bags as they passed him and handed them back to me to put on the trolley. As he is my best friend I promptly put them back on the conveyor belt for a second viewing......
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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chris, long and wide is even better.
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Kid: "Dad what are those short skis those men are using?"
Father: "They are called blades. They are not like proper skis, they are just for fun."
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Another guest in the chalet at Val D'Isere at Christmas admitted to having difficulty in putting on her skis on the first day. That was until a helpful ski instructor stopped by and turned them around for her...
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Andorra a couple of years ago,large Crystal chalet,around 30 guests.This one particular woman had driven us all crazy all week.She was a foody?Intolerant to this,allergic to that,different combinations set of various reactions,so on and so on As one woman said;she cant be that intolerant,shes every bit a size 16!!This took place at every dinner,and at twice the volume of everyone else.End of week,speciality night,and it was Chinese.Funny,most of us were expecting local  but chef was,so he told us,a dab hand at Chinese.This cheered foody up no end.Love Chinese,in fact anything Oriental.You could hear a collective sigh of relief from all 29 of us.Long suffering chef comes round for the orders.We have ribs,chow mein,noodles,various sweet & sour etc.Lovely.Gets to foody-reads out the list in complete confidence."Is there any soy sauce involved" says she,"well yes,in most of the dishes"replies chef."Cant possibly eat any that,I'll get a reaction..........I'll just have salad"?????????????
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FAQ
)"Yes-where does it say CAUTION-May contain traces of cheese?" 
It didn't help much that my wife and daughter nearly wet themselves laughing.Me,I now get nervous looking at a piece of cheddar!!