 Poster: A snowHead
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| Lizzard wrote: |
boabski, turning a Scots accent up three notches always scares people. I have no idea why, but it comes in handy now and then.  |
Same thing with an American accent, loudly aksing why someone thinks he's so much better than the rest of us that he can just ski right on while we all wait.
I was flying out of Amsterdam this summer to New York. They are boarding by row, as they do, and when my row is called I get into line (I know, I'm the only one who waits). So the line progresses until there is only one person between me and the ticket taker. The woman ahead of me (and now at the front of the line) just stops. She got in line before her row was called, and noe she is planning on simply standing there backing up the line behind her. I pause for a moment, waiting for her to do something, anything (try to get on anyway, move aside, drop dead), but she just stands there blocking the way as the line builds up. That's when I ask the ticket taker if "this f---king women is getting on the plane or not?" The woman gave me a horrified, "how dare you speak about be like that" look, so I told her she ought to wait her turn next time, and that the plane won't be leaving until we're all on it anyway.
I hate flying. I much rather stand in a lift line.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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I like the loud Scottish things, everyone tends to look at you like you have pissed on their kids but hell, it works.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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arv, bagpipes?
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laundryman, of course. Haggis also. They scream like hell when they fall.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Frosty, Mr Avago's favorite response to anyone who is out of order is "how are you going to pick your teeth up with broken fingers?"
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I always find that truly creative swears manage to both shame the object of your wrath but also serve to amuse the watching masses. I generally work the Two Column Principle. Take an expletive from Column A below, then add a word from Column B. This allows you to be UNFEASIBLY rude to someone, but with your tongue lodged in your cheek far enough so as to not appear uncouth to observers:
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COLUMN A COLUMN B
f**k stick
c*** features
c**k jockey
kn*b felcher
s**t face
p***k brain
spack cowboy
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Of course, as Nadenoodlee has shown, the only truly nuclear way to do it is to allege some truly unspeakable act. My personal favourite is "I was reading in the Telegraph yesterday that 100% of queue-jumpers are sexually-tilted in favour of sleeping with the dead", but certainly a loud exclamation that "he's only in a hurry because he heard that the first hundred people to the top get bummed by a wolf" seems to work. And failing that, BRUTAL VIOLENCE.
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That's when I ask the ticket taker if "this f---king women is getting on the plane or not?"
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But isn't that to behave just as badly and offend the people around you into the bargain? Why not just stay on the high ground and ask her politely to stand aside?
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Look, I wasn't trying to be funny (well I thought you might smile at least) but there really is no point other than to make you feel better which says more about you than about the person pushing in. ami in berlin,
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| and that the plane won't be leaving until we're all on it anyway. |
Says it all really.
Classic British attitude IMO (outraged of St. Albans  ) Just chill and enjoy your skiing.
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My redneck uncle from Tennessee was being jostled by a couple of priests to be first off an airplane. He planted his elbows on the seats either side of the aisle. One of them said "excuse me we've an important meeting to get to" He said "I'm sorry, you've mistaken me for someone who gives a s--t".
I rather like that.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Tale from my local rugby club but translates well to the lift queue bandit (but probably only if female); an impatient well dressed (for the races) guest at a function in the main room marched into the relatively quiet members' lounge and elbowed her way to the bar, complaining about the awful service from idiotic girls and demanding two large G&Ts in a VERY loud voice and with a farback accent. First XI captain was next to her and in the middle of ordering a large round, he turned and said with a polite smile on his face and loudly enough for all to hear, "You must have a really posh tw@t". She fled to the loos and left shortly after in a taxi. Not an urban myth, friend's daughter was the barmaid. Not as good as pam w's expensive hot dog story though.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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She fled to the loos
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to have a look for herself, presumably?
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Nadenoodlee
I like the shock value of yours, I think its something the rest of the lift queue will really appreciate.
pam w, Great story, I bet your pleased you did'nt reach down to stroke him (the DOG).
There seems to be quite a bit of physical aggression out there though, I want to humiliate not pummell, I want everyone else in the lift queue laughing and pointing at the impolite moron/s... (and at the same time look cool myself for coming up with something witty in a nanosecond  )
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You know it makes sense.
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we were skiing in aix les thermes, after lunch were queing for the lift. Some people who thought that they owned the resort skiied past and pushed in. At which a french man said " get back in the queue, where do you think you are, the alpes? " Magic, they crept back
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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I bet your pleased you did'nt reach down to stroke him (the DOG).
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absolutely.  What a thought. Afterwards, I really felt quite shaken, and initially rather foolish about my reply, not to mention glad that the two old ladies came along so I was not on my own in the dark with this d*ck head. And his dog. But - inadvertently - I had probably done the best possible thing. I've wondered since whether he realised I'd only had eyes for his dog.
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Poster: A snowHead
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| FastEddie wrote: |
| "he's only in a hurry because he heard that the first hundred people to the top get bummed by a wolf" |
Excellent. 
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Tale from my local rugby club
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They should get more players
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Where I used to work there was a very heated argument between 2 guys.
As it neared its conclusion the 1st guy said "do you think you are some sort of Psyschologist or something"
To which the 2nd guy retorted "No, I'm a gynocologist and I know a C#~@ when I see one"
There upon the argument ended.
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arlberg, That is brilliant
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Not necessarily ski related but the best put down I've read was from an very daper, old gentleman who opened a door for a female chav, double buggy in hand, weigh laid with Primark bags. She didn't thank or even acknowledge that the gentleman had done her a favour by opening the door. His response
"Madam, I have opened this door for you not because you are a lady, but because I am a gentleman!!"
What a fantastic line. Problem is that it was probably water off a duck's back for the chav
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Sleipnir, that's brilliant!
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Sleipnir, love it!
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Boris,
I know, I know - I suddenly realised in work today and then hoped no-one would notice. And I did Latin to O level! 
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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mountainaddict, This phrase has often been the topic of conversation with french friends and colleagues and yes, if you were french you would be offended.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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One for if someone nicks your space in a car park
As they get out of the car ask if they have a foot pump as they will need one for when they get back to the car
You don't say any more but it will worry them
Only did it once and they left the car park after a few minutes without ever leaving the car 
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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Many years ago a freind of mine was the lift attendant on a Poma, having spotted someone queue jumping he would leave his nice warm hut and politely hand them the poma...wait until the spring tensioned then kick the toe of their boot which released the binding, whilst helping them to their feet an eplanation was then given as to how they should queue in future.
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Dypcdiver, nice one. in the way you hope all liftie's are. recently got skied over by some idiots who thought it would be fine to charge through the queue to get to their friends who were further up in the queue. really wish this thread had been started before i left so i could use some of the lines on here hehe.
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You know it makes sense.
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But having barged through, why do they always hang around when they get to the top ?
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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mountainaddict, I have been known to speak Franglais from time to time, I once asked for a salade verte "erm erm erm sans preservatif" which I was hoping would be without dressing, it turned out to be without a condom I think... oh how they laughed
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Poster: A snowHead
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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What I find reassuring from this thread is how many lifties appear to know how to redress the balance.
I sometimes think your lifties gets a rum deal, he must have a fairly mundane existence with the routine nature of most lifts, sat in his hut, probably a tad cold feet at times and I often think it would be so easy for them to develop the 'could I less?' attitude of your average checkout person (but, even then who can blame even them - I certainly wouldn't want the job, so hats off to them whatever their attitude and an acknowledgement that even amongst checkout staff there are those that try to make as much of the job as possible). However, from what I have seen of lifties they usually care a lot about their role - they see more than I ever expect them to, to the little kids they pass a poma, watch them up, stop it when people fall, keep a stack of lost poles for later retreival, on the chairs they slow it down for the obviously nervous, the small kids, stop it completely when someone misses, and clearly from this thread they watch their queue and have a sense of fair play. I thought so when someone reported on that thread a while back of the chap that removed the 'pushers' skis from the back of the gondola, but I think I feel compelled to say 'a big 'thumbs up' for your average liftie 'you're doing a great job folks'. Although not so practical in a large resort in our tiny Swiss resort where you tend to know the small team that make your holiday work I always make sure that there are English biscuits and tea bags for the 'team' when we leave.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Megamum, why, exactly, is it that you consider supermarket/shop staff to be the lowest of the low?
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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| Lizzard wrote: |
| Megamum, why, exactly, is it that you consider supermarket/shop staff to be the lowest of the low? |
Yeah, surely that honour belongs to traffic cops?!
bleah!
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| Lizzard wrote: |
| Megamum, why, exactly, is it that you consider supermarket/shop staff to be the lowest of the low? |
Is there any reason you might think she does?
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alex_heney,
mmmm, I do but I'm sure megamum didn't mean it the way it may have been interpreted by some folk or to say that lifties and/or checkout operators are the lowest of the low.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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halfhand, I agree, what goes around comes around, their gondola may fall off or something 
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I suppose it may be a 'glass half full' approach, but i picked up more on:-
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| I certainly wouldn't want the job, so hats off to them whatever their attitude... |
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FAQ
