 Poster: A snowHead
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Husband tried to stop the outer funicular doors shutting at Les Deux Alpes.....with his ski pole. The doors shut on the hand loops and he just had to stand there, holding the other end of the pole like a right numpty until it returned. I don't know how I didn't wet myself, we took photos.
Also taking the long green down to the village in LDA at Easter. Long, narrow, very little snow. Horrendous run.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Collecting a lot of snow under my ski boots, on the way to a footprint loo. And falling over. In the loo.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Me: not refusing to ski an off piste route first thing in the morning with friends who insisted I'd be fine. I wanted to have a couple of piste runs first to warm up. I ruptured the ACL in my right knee. I still feel regret, they still feel guilt.
A friend: eating one of the very last burgers of the lunchtime serving at the Folie Douce in Meribel last year. I, on the other hand, do not regret just supping a few beers for late lunch.
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Ignoring the "ski route closed" sign in kitzbhuel last year and saying to the misses..."looks there's tracks it will be fine"
It was not fine!...once we had skied beyond the point of no return we found a massive drop and the route blocked by fallen trees. Q a very embarrising climb back up to the nearest point we could exit by in wait deep powder while a 6 man chair overhead continually delivered fresh mocking for us!
Also on the same trip, not checking the din settings on my skis and losing a ski in a (again waist deep) powder field!....a fecking hour I searched for that ski, lovely fresh powder field looked like a world war 1 trench by the time i found it!
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In Livingno a few years ago we had a meter of snow overnight and awoke to see a winter wonderland. I was with a party of mates from work and I was the most experienced skier by miles. (Yes I was showing off). I insisted that we should be the first up the mountain and make the first tracks of the day in the fresh powder. I was a proper PITA to my mates and we skipped breakfast to be first in the lift queue.
I got on the first chairlift of the day and as I got off I skied the 3 or 4 yards down the intial hump getting off the chair and managed to face-plant into the fresh snow in spectacular style. My ski came off and vanished under the snow. It took nearly 40 minutes to find my ski and they took the micky out of me the whole time.
Ouch!
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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| Quote: |
The mogul episode resulted in a compression fracture of one of my vertebra
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I've done that too, hungover.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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| belette wrote: |
As a young teenager on a chairlift, swinging my skis as we approached the get-off point. The tip of one ski caught in the bank of snow built up around the top lift station, the ski pinged off and stuck there like a javelin and I attempted to ski off the lift on one ski. Needless to say I fell over and the liftie had to stop the lift for some time while he retrieved the offending ski 
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Saw a woman on the chair in front snap a ski last week by ramming in into the board below the landing area. Chair inevitably progressed -ski flexed like crazy and went bang about the time the binding released.
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All from school age (early 80's):
Messing about on the White Lady Tbar with my mate, slaloming uphill, and putting strain on the tow. The wooden 'seat' bit of the T snapped in half and we started careering backwards towards the folk on the way up behind us. Had to throw myself onto the snow fence to avoid them... they are pointy!
Skiing in swimming trunks. Fear of snowburn from falling reduces the fun.
Seeing a half buried mountain hut with drift up to the eaves meeting the snow on the roof and thinking that the perfect curve of snow right up to the ridge would make a suitable ski jump. It didn't.
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You know it makes sense.
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One of the funniest things I've ever seen on the slopes was on a long undulating T-Bar lift in Austria.
The wife and I, were on the thing when we saw a wooly hat in the snow.
Then some goggles.
Then we saw a Set of sticks.
A glove.
A ski.
Another Glove
A a ski jacket
A jumper
We went over the top of the next undulation and the bloke in front of us had the T-Bar jammed in his ski boot and he was being dragged up the mountain on his back naked from the waist up, the drag was removing all his clothing and stuff and his leg was pulled up in the air, making it impossible for him to recover.
The lift bloke finally stopped the thing but had to jump on a skidoo to come up and rescue him as he was now on a steep bit, unable to get the T-Bar out of his ski boot.
I expect he regretted that.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Decided it was wise to go out with the young chalet hosts when in Lech.
Spent an afternoon and evening at Crazy Kangaroo in St Anton. Missed the last bus. Had to pay for a taxi to get back to Lech. Skied down in order to get said taxi. In the morning woke up to find I had huge gashes in one of my skis, massive dent in the front lip of my helmet, scratched (repairable) goggles, and 3 right hand gloves. Was rather expensive. Not sure what I regretted about that as there were numerous junctions where it could have ended well, I just chose not to take any of them...
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Poster: A snowHead
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Skiing from Les Menuires to Meribel on a bluebird day - all going well, confidence high. Decided to take on the boardercross course at the Moon Park above Meribel Unfortunately it had been ramped up for a Nokia competition the day before - I stacked it on the first roller and ended up dislocating my shoulder. Skied down to the medical centre in Meribel to have it put back in. Only bonus was when my friend said that I had skied the run into town really well despite the fact that one of my arms was basically hanging out of it's socket ! 
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Going through the automatic gates on a chairlift in Les Arcs with my shiny brand new ski poles. One pole gets jammed in the turnstile and bends rather badly. At the top of the lift tying to straighten it out only for it to snap.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Skiing untracked powder at grand Montets. Me and my back discovered why it was untracked and nearly 8 years on it still gives me problems now and then.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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| tiffin wrote: |
@Cacciatore, I remember us having a bit of a thirst on that day.
These look familiar? |
I think so Tiffin, hard to be sure from that angle.....
My (vague) recollection too!!
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Old Fartbags longer tales of woe reminded me of the snippets in this thread.
Well worth another read for a chuckle on a Friday!!
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| Layne wrote: |
Old Fartbags longer tales of woe reminded me of the snippets in this thread.
Well worth another read for a chuckle on a Friday!! |
Great resurrection....I hadn't seen these before.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Regret.... Laughing when wife failed to get off a button lift a la plagne .. Have now learned not to laugh at wife..
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| Quote: |
with our hands full, over we went and started to slide back down the icy slope, gathering speed. Luckily, there were two sets of people on the next two T-bars to slow us down (although I don't think they saw it like that...). Having taken them out, we both finally managed to stop.
Mike had managed to keep hold of the poles. I had managed to save the flags.... the gallon container of red dye, on the other hand, escaped. 30 years later, I can still see in slow motion as it accelerated down the slope, missed about 5 sets of people, putting in a couple of bounces, before catching someone's ski tip and exploding spectacularly all over them. The mess looked like someone had been run over by a piste basher.
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I love this one!
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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In bad light, trying to cut across the piste to a bar to meet my pals and not noticing there was a large drop to the side. I must have looked a right flash git to the large crowd of drinkers taking on leap like that. Well I would have done if I had not landed in a crumpled heap a few feet away from the terrace.
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excellent stuff
Skiing at Heavenly Tahoe. There is an area (want to sat Mott Canyon but frankly cant remember) which is guarded by a fence and gate with one of those American "there be dragons" warning signs - you know "steep, cliffs, super experts only". Essentially if you aren't Glen Plake (it was 1994) you WILL die.
It was quite steep actually. Anyway, skied out to the chairlift that served the canyon feeling smug with myself. And (this being my first trip skiing in the US) assumed blithely that the fact that there was no gate in my way meant it was safe to slow (a bit) and ski straight through to wait for the next chair. Turns out the lift didn't have gates - you are supposed to actually look where you are going. Who knew? Not me - I arrived with perfect timing to be cleaned up by the next chair. The lifty hit the stop and while I was collecting up my kit he strolled over and with an almost sorrowful shake of his head said "Jeez we NEVER have to stop the lift in Mott Canyon...".
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You know it makes sense.
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I'm sure it doesn't surprise anyone that I've had the odd regrettable situation...and as I appear to be carpet-bombing Snowheads with my insane adventures....I might as well go with another one.
The only time I have been skiing over Christmas was to Arcs 1950. The snow was pretty sh1te...very icy in places with rocks in evidence.
When not skiing with my family, I would join the SCGB group (they were still doing it then) and this embarrassing moment happened when I signed up for the advanced day.
I was hammering down some reasonably easy moguls just off to the side of a Blue Piste, trying to keep up with a younger, flashier skier (as one does).
The bit of the run we were on, dropped onto a long, totally flat section, that ended at a chairlift.
At the last second, the guy I was following, made a sudden, inexplicable 90 degree turn onto the proper piste and slowed to a halt.....and I didn't.
I dropped down onto the flat section at some speed, only to find the "nice" flat section was in fact a sheet of Blue Ice....what is it about Blue Ice that makes you feel you are continuing to accelerate?!!
I hadn't a cat in hell's chance of stopping and flew sideways passed the chairlift...and toward a 20 foot drop, down by the side of some apartments. Luckily, right at the edge, was a pylon....in desperation, I wrapped my arms around this fortuitous pillar, in an attempt to avoid catastrophe. This had the effect of slingshotting me back in the direction I'd just come.....and straight into the orange netting that forms the walls of the queue lines.
Like it does on a race hill, the orange netting stopped my forward momentum. When I finally came to a halt, I was wrapped up like a Christmas turkey. It took me quite some time to extricate myself from this predicament....and when I finally did manage to get to my feet, I was able to survey the havoc I'd caused. I had completely decimated the neat queuing lines, with all the holding poles yanked out for good measure.
I then raised my eyes and spotted the lift attendant, who was standing, with arms crossed and a smoldering expression on her face. I quickly realized that my best course of action was, with what was left of my dignity, to replace all the poles and hang the netting back up.
Finally, when I'd put some order back to the Chairlift queuing system, I looked about for my group. At first I couldn't see where they'd gone, but then spotted them on the ground...where they'd ended up as they'd gone weak at the knees from laughter.
Last edited by You know it makes sense. on Fri 18-11-16 17:23; edited 1 time in total
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Poster: A snowHead
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This is one some people have heard before on snowHeads but one of my more embarrassing moments I have just copied and pasted from a previous post.
I walked into a mountain restaurant in poor conditions in Zermatt to ask for the loo.
Wet snow on the floor and I skidded over and went crashing onto my backside onto the Desert trolley.
I was covered in cream. chocolate and bits of gateaux. I apologised and asked where the loos were and the patron pointed speechlessly outside, where my friends burst into peals of laughter when they saw me.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Usual caveat - can't compete with Old Fartbag!
Mid 1990's after being let down by my usual ski buddies, I decided to go skiing alone and booked a ski course in Tignes for early January. On arrival at Geneva, I was advised of a French Toll workers strike and the coach would need to take the long route, estimated at 5 to 6 hours. I'm not much of a drinker on ski trips but did have a bottle of vodka that a friend had asked me to transport for his son working in resort. What harm could come from just a couple to lessen the boredom? Upon our arrival in Tignes I vaguely remember getting off the coach and vaguely remember getting into the chalet hotel but not much else. Next thing I know, I'm awake (thankfully on bed) and staring at my alarm clock realising that it's my first day, I'm late and still probably very p1ssed because no hangover. I made a brief attempt to freshen up grabbed my skis and boots and bowled downstairs. I was greeted by 20 of my chalet companions sitting at the dinner table waiting for main course. I had been asleep (unconscious) for just 3 hours. I made some feeble attempt to brass it out by saying that I was just bringing my skis to the boot room but that clearly didn't explain why I was wearing ski jacket and salopettes. It was all taken with the usual chalet good humour but the others knew I was in trouble when I fell off the coach and went into the chalet minus hand luggage / suitcase / ski bag but clinging dearly to the remains of a bottle of Blue Smirnoff.
Tw4t !!
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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| Zermattandchips wrote: |
Usual caveat - can't compete with Old Fartbag!
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I wouldn't say that....cracking story.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Love this thread! I
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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My two main regrets about skiing are firstly I didn't start until I was in my mid thirties and secondly that for some unexplained reason I had a 27 year gap between the ages of 43 and 71. Still gives me an excuse to make up for lost time.
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Been having a right giggle at some of these!!
I'll join in.
Thought id go test out my new shiney big fat bright orange skis at a snow dome after having the bindings fitted at the shop in the centre; Pratting around on a drag lift balancing on one leg. Stacked it.
If I remember correctly..
First ski holiday. Riding the madaline express, got to the top, jumped off the chair lift and was instantly in stunned awe at the gorgeous vista of mountains to my right, naturally skiied towards the edge to take in the view..
Got clotheslined by the thin orange ropes used to direct the flow from the lift exit.
Another chair lift, another tip swinger.
Swung too low and too late, got the top of my ski caught between the start of the ramp and the end at bottom of the chair.
Promptly got sucked off the chair and underneath it. Managed to curl into ball enough not to be hit by it luckily!
Countless skidding on tiles/wood floors in ski boots.
Countless falling over whilst stood still.
Countless hangovers.
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Between this and the tall tales thread I'm starting to resemble The Joker 
| Quote: |
| Pratting around on a drag lift balancing on one leg. Stacked it. |
Errrr yes, did the same recently at Hemel - it was only a matter of time before this had to happen - I get so bored on the lift!
And on the 3500 T bar on the Motte the other week - I didn't quite get on it, and clung on for a distance trying to haul myself onto it whilst ignoring calls of "Let it go!" but eventually had to let it go and ski back. Need to work on those arm muscles.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Taking out the ski instructor from behind TWICE on the dry ski slope in Nottingham. What made it worse was that she was about 5' and weighed about 80 lbs soaking wet. I am 6' 3" and not slim. Both times she was standing still.
Organising poubelling home as a group from Toviere after the New Years eve party. By some miracle nobody finished up in hospital but the bruises were impressive. I often tell people "if it is fast or stupid I have probably done it" this was VERY fast and VERY stupid.
Waiting until I was 29 before starting to ski.
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FAQ
