 Poster: A snowHead
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When skiing in St Anton why not stop at 4:30pm for a light refreshment at the popular watering hole the Mooserwirt, you won't regret it!
TOP TIP : For safe keeping on arrival to the Mooserwirt just store your skis directly among everyone else's at the very first wall you meet...makes them dead handy to find when you come out 3 hours later!
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Learn to become a "Master Faffer" - as if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. It's less stressful that way.....Though it has to be said, some have this innate ability already built in.
There is no piece of ski gear that can't be faffed with. You have Boots (biggest culprit, with their micro adjustable buckles); Socks; Zips (Allows pocket Pelmanism); Poles (which have a Left and Right); Helmet (Fitting mechanism/Vents/Clip); Gloves (especially those that go inside your jacket sleeves); Inner Gloves; Goggles (Lens changing/Fogging); Skis; Bindings.
....and drink lots of coffee for Breakfast and Beer for Lunch, to ensure you can't pass a toilet for the entire day.
Last edited by Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person on Wed 19-01-22 12:59; edited 3 times in total
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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| Tiefschneetaucher wrote: |
| If you’re tall and heavy, make sure you get on the t-bar lift with the biggest fella you can find. Then watch as the rope snaps and the two of you stand there with the broken t-bar under your back bottoms. |
Been there done that! We picked up the T bar and skied down to the queue to get on again, the lifty was not impressed when we said we'd brought our own T bar along  If it ever happens again I'll leave the T bar up the mountain somewhere for the miserable git to discover in the Spring
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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| Quote: |
and drink lots of coffee for Breakfast and Beer for Lunch, to ensure you can't pass a toilet for the entire day.
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Real men wear Tena!
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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| AL9000 wrote: |
| Quote: |
and drink lots of coffee for Breakfast and Beer for Lunch, to ensure you can't pass a toilet for the entire day.
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Real men wear Tena! |
Now you tell me!!
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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This is why I'm too afraid to wear a rucksack at all... I sat next to a guy on a chairlift in Mayrhofen a couple of years ago who had his backpack on his lap, opened it, got some bread, a 300g hunk of cheese, a cucumber, a jar of mayo and a knife. He then proceeded to make a sandwich. lol
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When staying in a 10 person ski chalet for a week, why not bring your ex husband with you and spend the whole week criticising him in front of the rest of the group, it won’t be awkward at all 
Andy.
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@Restless native, better than paying a single supplement?
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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If you drop your ski pole just after you sit on a chairlift but haven't yet pulled the safety bar down, it's okay to just jump off - you won't be more than about 10 ft in the air.
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| ster wrote: |
| @Restless native, better than paying a single supplement? |
No, no it really wasn’t
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Don't worry about making a mental note of which boots you hired; just ski all week in a likely looking pair from the boot room. When you take them back to the shop they can say "These aren't ours ..."
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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| TopGooner wrote: |
| This is why I'm too afraid to wear a rucksack at all... I sat next to a guy on a chairlift in Mayrhofen a couple of years ago who had his backpack on his lap, opened it, got some bread, a 300g hunk of cheese, a cucumber, a jar of mayo and a knife. He then proceeded to make a sandwich. lol |
That is god tier preparedness. I am impressed.
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| Timmycb5 wrote: |
| TopGooner wrote: |
| This is why I'm too afraid to wear a rucksack at all... I sat next to a guy on a chairlift in Mayrhofen a couple of years ago who had his backpack on his lap, opened it, got some bread, a 300g hunk of cheese, a cucumber, a jar of mayo and a knife. He then proceeded to make a sandwich. lol |
That is god tier preparedness. I am impressed. |
Nah.
No Branston.
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You know it makes sense.
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| AL9000 wrote: |
| Timmycb5 wrote: |
| TopGooner wrote: |
| This is why I'm too afraid to wear a rucksack at all... I sat next to a guy on a chairlift in Mayrhofen a couple of years ago who had his backpack on his lap, opened it, got some bread, a 300g hunk of cheese, a cucumber, a jar of mayo and a knife. He then proceeded to make a sandwich. lol |
That is god tier preparedness. I am impressed. |
Nah.
No Branston. |
Depends on the weather. If it was snood/buff wearing weather, you don't want pickle breath. If it was warmer, I agree.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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If you go to the Public Swimming Baths and get lip from some stroppy French Receptionist (Val D'Isere Swimming Pool circa 1998, I'm looking at you).....give them a tirade in Irish, filled with expletives. Worked like a charm and said Receptionist "Pulled her neck in", as they say here. Go Lady F.
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Poster: A snowHead
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To reduce your chances of falling off a T-bar and added coolness let your braces hang down level with your knees. This allows you to easily hook the bar through the braces as you get on the lift.
To obtain the best place to observe the strength of elastic of your friends braces leave a T- bar free before catching the next one.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Ah … T bars.
I ski and climb with with friend Oliver … 6 foot 3. I am 5 foot 7.
T bars are challenging.
The BIG ONE:
Friend 1: ‘look over there, that looks nice and untracked…’
Me: ‘we haven’t dug a pit yet…’ (remembering the wind following 24hrs of dumping)
Friend 1: ‘but look, there’s already one set of tracks down it….’
Me: ‘ski tracks are not a sign of intelligent life’
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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| Timmycb5 wrote: |
| TopGooner wrote: |
| This is why I'm too afraid to wear a rucksack at all... I sat next to a guy on a chairlift in Mayrhofen a couple of years ago who had his backpack on his lap, opened it, got some bread, a 300g hunk of cheese, a cucumber, a jar of mayo and a knife. He then proceeded to make a sandwich. lol |
That is god tier preparedness. I am impressed. |
You haven't seen @midgetbiker pull out his condiment selection at lunchtime. I'm convinced it's the only reason he carries an avi pack.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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| Quote: |
TopGooner wrote:
This is why I'm too afraid to wear a rucksack at all... I sat next to a guy on a chairlift in Mayrhofen a couple of years ago who had his backpack on his lap, opened it, got some bread, a 300g hunk of cheese, a cucumber, a jar of mayo and a knife. He then proceeded to make a sandwich. lol
That is god tier preparedness. I am impressed.
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Beats me, I have been known to stock up on the continental breakfast at the hotel in the morning to make a few meat and cheese sandwiches, wrap them up and put them in my bag for a little snack on the slopes.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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| Dave of the Marmottes wrote: |
| Timmycb5 wrote: |
| TopGooner wrote: |
| This is why I'm too afraid to wear a rucksack at all... I sat next to a guy on a chairlift in Mayrhofen a couple of years ago who had his backpack on his lap, opened it, got some bread, a 300g hunk of cheese, a cucumber, a jar of mayo and a knife. He then proceeded to make a sandwich. lol |
That is god tier preparedness. I am impressed. |
You haven't seen @midgetbiker pull out his condiment selection at lunchtime. I'm convinced it's the only reason he carries an avi pack. |
Anyone who goes skiing with condiments is OK in my book.
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Don't show off by walking into a restaurant and say to the waiter "Nous avons une reservation pour un table pour six person a sept heures. To have the reply back. I only speak English mate. 
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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@Timbobaggins, one of my favourite parts is to have a language fight.
Nous avons une réservation pour les skis
What is your name?
Monsieur Timmy.
How much do you weight
Quatre vingt dix, peut-être, quatre vingt quinze kilo
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@Timmycb5, 
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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When on your first ski trip, on your first chair, make sure your experienced friends are in front of you not behind so you know about pulling the bar down and how to get off......
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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| Timmycb5 wrote: |
My FIL was taken out my an idiot flying down a slope and not looking where he was going. I raced over to him and was appalled by a ring of yellow snow emanating from underneath him. I had a millisecond thought that his bladder had exploded out of his body or something.
Turns out he had a small carton of orange juice in his pocket.  |
Years ago, I was skiing with a Surgeon Friend (Tom) in the 3V. He was very tall, willowy and very English in that polite sort of way. I was carrying a backpack which included leftover chicken that we had cooked the previous evening.
As we were skiing down looking for somewhere to have our picnic, he managed to fall and then collide with a young man who also turned out to be English.
My friend Tom was extremely apologetic and helped with the yard sale he had caused.....luckily with no injury. After the other chap had dusted himself off and before he skied off, Tom turned to him and said, "My dear Chap, in order to make up for knocking you over.....Would you like some some Chicken? We have plenty for three."
The look of a mixture of shock and bemusement on the young man's face was priceless. "No Thanks" he muttered, before hurrying off while still shaking his head. He couldn't get away quick enough. When he got up that day, the last thing he expected, was to be knocked over and then offered chicken by 2 Nutters.
As we skied on down, I had to pause because the tears of laughter were blurring my vision.
The tip to avoid confrontation, is to be very polite, while also being very eccentric. Embrace your inner nutter.
Last edited by And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports. on Wed 19-01-22 15:54; edited 5 times in total
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May I respectfully remind people that this thread is for useLESS tips, not useful ones. In other words, the more irony the better.
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You know it makes sense.
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But non-ironic, hilarious anecdotes also very welcome, at least by me. (Hope I'm not speaking out of turn.)
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Sometimes in flat light on a piste running across the slope, it isn't always possible to discern exactly where the fall line is. I have discovered that the screen on a mobile phone has a remarkably friction free property on groomed snow and by dropping your phone at the top of the slope you too can be happy in the knowledge that you are skiing 'straight down the fall line' as you attempt to stop its progress.
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Poster: A snowHead
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Don't bother taking your skis off if you have to cross a road, the hire shop won't mind at all.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Hurtle - here’s one.
Mad afternoon rush from Geneva to the chalet…’yes we have time to get on the hill….’
Rush down the steps and throw everything we need in the car.
Grab three pairs of skis from the garage - my Volkls, Grom’s Armadas and some Salomons for Ant.
At the bottom station I adjust binding on one ski for Ant’s boot sole length. Thanks…Grom then hands me second ski…great…done…
Phew….1 hour before closing.
As light fades, I squint at Ant’s skis: both blue, both Salomon. Thing is though, one is 150cm and the other 160cm.
And I adjusted them at the start of the session….tw+t.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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If you are finding turning difficult - You are not going fast enough. 
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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| midgetbiker wrote: |
I use Hellmann's chilli mayo, as I'm convinced it has a lower freezing point than the standard. |
It for this sort of invaluable information, that I started the thread.
Would Garlic Mayo help clear a space, or make you seem more like a local? Is it one of those imponderables - a Known Unknown, as it were?
Last edited by Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do. on Wed 19-01-22 16:24; edited 1 time in total
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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To find good off piste skiing, just follow a set of ski tracks that lead off the piste and down the mountain somewhere. Clearly that person knew where they were going.
You may need to remove skis a bit later and walk/clamber to get back to safety, if it turns out you are not as good as the preceding expert. This only heightens your respect for them.
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Talking of undercrackers, whilst out on the slopes, watch your nearest and dearest faffing around because they are having issues with their salopettes.
Then watch them proceed to pull yesterdays pants out of the bottom of the left leg with a triumphant 'da dmmmm' (and the required swinging above the head), remembering that when getting back to the room p*ssed from the day before, they did an all in one removal of lower body clothing before falling into the bath. 
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Orange200 … this only heightens your respect for them….or the sense of sorrow in reading their obituary.
(Repeat…’skis tracks are not a sign of intelligent life…’)
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Buy the heaviest ski bag you can find, it will make packing really easy.
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| Chuckles3 wrote: |
Talking of undercrackers, whilst out on the slopes, watch your nearest and dearest faffing around because they are having issues with their salopettes.
Then watch them proceed to pull yesterdays pants out of the bottom of the left leg with a triumphant 'da dmmmm' (and the required swinging above the head), remembering that when getting back to the room p*ssed from the day before, they did an all in one removal of lower body clothing before falling into the bath. |
I have a "Friend" who took Valium the previous night - and was so dopey in the morning, that they went on the early Bread Run while wearing their Long Johns. It did cause the odd stare. They just had to brazen it out.
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FAQ
