 Poster: A snowHead
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If you have discovered something, that is of no use whatsoever, this is the very place to air it.
It can be a piece of kit, or a special technique, or food that can make you miserable. It can even be imaginative ways to best annoy your ski buddies on any given day.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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When skiing during cold weather ..carry half a cut onion in your pocket..it stops your eyes watering when skiing without goggles
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Hold out your ski pole for a friendly boarder who is struggling on a flat section.
Then let go of the pole and leave it in their hands.
Laugh as they slow to a stop.
Cry as they yeet your pole off the mountain.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Pack pots of curry powder in your luggage when travelling to ensure one splits in transit and all your grunts and 100 socks (allowing at least 10 pair per day) smell nicely fragranced ( ask me how I know).
On a similar note make sure you buy that really gritty shower gel with pumice or something in it.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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You are riding a surface lift on a day with some fresh snow. Your buddy is in front of you. You drag one pole so that the basket and tip create a "rooster tail" of snow of the right trajectory to accumulate on your other basket, which you have positioned behind the first, to receive the snow. In time a proper snowball is thus created on the aft basket, which you then catapult at your buddy.
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When asked where you’d like to go next, don’t be a picky, demanding person. Answer only with Down or Up as appropriate.
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Don't waste time adjusting your equipment before leaving the boot room, wait until you get off the first lift! The view is much better and nobody will mind 
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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For a bit of variety try skiing with your left ski boot on your right foot and vice versa 
Also try putting your boots into the binding the wrong way round.....
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Save time leaving cafes by not searching for your skis. Just grab any that look vaguely similar 
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Leave your coat pocket unzipped so the lift pass can fall out. Since the lift pass is white, you will have hours of fun looking for it in the snow 
The husband did this.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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| Quote: |
Pack pots of curry powder in your luggage when travelling to ensure one splits in transit and all your grunts and 100 socks (allowing at least 10 pair per day) smell nicely fragranced ( ask me how I know)
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Tinned fish also works as well 
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Get one of those padlocks for skis with a key, then proceed to lose said key and the spare is back at the hotel, had to get a member of resort staff to snap the padlock wire for me. 
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You know it makes sense.
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When rushing to leave the house for a weeks skiing in Chamonix, whilst your impatient lift to the airport sits in the car outside the house tooting his horn to annoy the neighbours, be sure to grab your carry-on bag from the hall containing all your ski and 'out out' clothing, and not your girlfriend's bag containing year 7's unmarked homework.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Buy cheap, ubiquitous, snow boots from decathlon and do not label them. When you go back to the boot room at the end of a days skiing, you might be lucky to find that some idiot, with feet 1 size smaller than yours, had taken your boots and left theirs for you.
You can then enjoy a nice walk back to the chalet with you feet and toes crushed in amongst someone else’s foot fungus.
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Poster: A snowHead
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When queuing for chairlifts, make sure to pass briskly through the turnstile, then turn sideways in the area between the turnstile and the loading point and wait 5 minutes for all of your friends to come through. Wouldn't want to have to get on a chairlift with strangers!
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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If y’all could keep these stories based on your own real experiences, it would exponentially add to the comedy factor.
I’m cracking up at some of the tragic tales 
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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If you're having a bad day as a beginner, and keep falling over, make sure you tantrum chuck your poles somewhere difficult to impossible to ski to. You can then have the fun of a) having to clamber round in your ski boots to fetch them and b) trying to get your boots back in your bindings with 3 inches if caked snow on the bottom.
Become incandescently angry again. Repeat.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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When you see tracks disappearing into a forest, it is always safe to assume that the person who made them knew where they were going.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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If taking a nervous spouse or loved one skiing for the first time, make sure to time it so their first experience of skiing is in a whiteout with 50mph winds.
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When staying in a chalet, ‘borrow’ someone else’s poles because someone has done the same to you & so on. Just make sure you borrow in such a way that the one pair left for the last skier out (who’s 5’10”), are actually suitable for an 8 year old child
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Master the button tow on your snowboard but not completely. Be sure to fall off 3/4 of the way up the longest one in resort and have a wee cry as you have to walk up the remaining near vertical kilometre.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Try snowboarding in the morning on day 1 before afternoon lessons, I mean, how hard can it be.
Break arm in 3 places. Get arm put in plaster.
Take stupid snowboard back to hire shop. Swap for skis. Decline needing poles as arm is in plaster and a sling.
Down a couple of Stellas and ski the week instead.
Circa 1998
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Duck under the black / yellow piste closed tape at the top of La Face in Val d’Isere…. 8ft deep moguls
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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If on a snowboard on a really steep drag lift that has stopped remember to step off the snowboard to make some adjustments and let it slide away from you down the track rapidly picking up speed and endangering others on drag lift below you.
(I saw this happen, I was the first person below the snowboarder and as it passed just to the side of me I stuck the handle of my inverted ski pole out to stop it. It was successful in stopping the snowboard (albeit at the cost of a noticeable chunk taken out of the handle). If it had picked up more speed it could have caused a really nasty accident).
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You know it makes sense.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Poster: A snowHead
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My history with T bars, the memory of Kitzbuhel where I ended up clinging to one with both arms is still vivid nearly 20 years on!
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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If you’re tall and heavy, make sure you get on the t-bar lift with the biggest fella you can find. Then watch as the rope snaps and the two of you stand there with the broken t-bar under your back bottoms.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Whoa. I didn’t type back bottoms. Auto correct for slightly rude words?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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I’m 6’2” and for some reason, the T Bar lift area turns into the land of 5’6” whenever I arrive, every time! 
I’m a lot better with them now and have learned to use them by myself but those early days were basically me making a spectacle of myself!
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Ensure maximum attention from the lifties by stowing your listpass in a back trouser pocket, allowing you to twerk provocatively at the pass sensor when entering the lift area.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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If, like many, you suffer from a streaming nose in the cold weather, insert a tampon up each nostril. Not only does this solve the problem; but you can also floss your teeth after a cake stop.
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| Tiefschneetaucher wrote: |
| If you’re tall and heavy, make sure you get on the t-bar lift with the biggest fella you can find. Then watch as the rope snaps and the two of you stand there with the broken t-bar under your back bottoms. |
That incident has gone down in the annals of snowHeads history!
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| Awdbugga wrote: |
| If, like many, you suffer from a streaming nose in the cold weather, insert a tampon up each nostril. Not only does this solve the problem; but you can also floss your teeth after a cake stop. |
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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If you fall off, Always grab the tbar and Cling onto it by putting the bar across your chest and under your armpits. Only do it on a lift you’ve never been on before. That way you may get the added thrill of seeing the dismount mound ahead of you and have to make the decision whether to let go or cling on and go up over the mound (T9 in trysil works for this). Decide to cling on and avoid said mound (letting go would be too sensible) and the watch the look on everyone else’s face. It’s probably not admiration!!
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FAQ
