 Poster: A snowHead
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Hi all I have started a new ski blog called www.the-73.com the idea behind the blog is to get advice, hints,tips, adventure stories and anything that you may find interesting to the general public...
Articles are written by myself and colleagues who are heavily involved in the ski world
I was wondering if there was any stories or articles you would like to be written or anything that you would like an insight into...
I would greatly appreciate any input that you have....
Thanks
Bw
www.the-73.com
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Looks good.
Crit:
- The menu bar at the top is inconsistent between pages. Most glaringly some pages say 'author' whilst others say 'contributor'.
- Change 'cool photos' to something less cringe worthy probably just remove the adjective.
- You might want to do a bit more editorial work on the pieces put up currently. For example the first one I clicked on was:
http://www.the-73.com/2012/10/the-best-diet-for-skiing/
- The blog's been written with the style and panache of a drill instructor or technical document writer.
- The first 'Conclusion' section right after the Introduction is confusing and serves no purpose. This looks like a C&P error?
- There are numerous formatting errors.
- The article is much too long, takes too long to get going and the advice at the end is succinct. Why is the article so long?
All in all it's okay but the writing needs to be much tighter and the editing is terrible. Long articles can be broken down into several different pieces tackling things in increasing depth for example. This one would be better off titled "What should I eat for a quick ski lunch?" and describe in 500-800 words what that is and a brief explanation of why. You can then follow up weekly on other aspects of diet with the same author and hope he gets a bit better at writing than Martin Brundle did at TV presenting.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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http://www.the-73.com/2012/10/eurotest-training-course/
Did anyone preview this at all? Looks like crap in Firefox with the picture and text extending into the left hand menu. Horribly written.
"A problem which stops many of the people that want to become a fully qualified ski instructor and prevents them from earning the best wages for a ski instructor is the Eurotest."
Should be something like:
"The Eurotest is a technical test of skill on a race course that prevents many people from attaining the highest level of ski instructing qualification."
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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http://www.the-73.com/2012/10/dry-land-training-for-snowsports/
Did someone hit the previous author over the head and steal his business? This is nicely written and to the point. Would be better with some editing to correct some very basic mistakes like the lack of capitals where there should be some. Again though the end reads like an advert, is the point of this blog to get a following itself or just feed traffic off to other people? This would be a nice intro into a series that explores each section and why you should follow the general advice given.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Anyway I'll stop now. You need to find someone with a good english language background to do basic grammar, spelling and formatting most urgently. Other than that get people to write less and sound less like they're plugging themselves as opposed to imparting good info.
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miranda, I got sucked in and couldn't help myself. 
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Thanks for the feedback! We are not expecting to be perfect straight away so I appreciate the time you have taken to look at the site. We will look into is using an editor that has a strong English background to review blogs before they are posted.
I don't think it's fair to expect those that have become experts in the ski field to also be great writers, so I think the onus is on us to make the articles grammatically stronger and going forward this is what will happen. meh if you are interested in doing some editing work then please send me a message.
All feedback is welcomed so miranda and meh thank you for your help so far 
Bgw
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Point has kind of been made above, but I had a quick flick through the touring article you wrote, Bgw, and found it pretty interesting. I'm not a regular blog reader so probably not target audience, but I'd have liked a bit more detail on some of the asides you threw in...like how weird is it to tour in race boots and does it hurt going up, how did you arrange the hut and how come there was no electricity (is that common)? Comes down in some ways to writing style as mentioned above - make sure you think about your target audience and what you think they want to know...are they just looking for stoke (then more description of the descent needed), are they going to think about following you (more practicalities & tips), or are they experts and have seen it all before (in which case you just want a short punchy piece that picks out anything unusual...maybe what you were aiming for).
Admittedly you might be leaving it light on detail on purpose, to draw people into commenting to find out more...if so ignore the above 
Also you need to check how to spell crevasse...
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Agree with meh, You need to employ someone who knows how to write.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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| Lizzard wrote: |
| Agree with meh, You need to employ someone who knows how to write. |
+1
...and he looks like he's found a proof-reader in the form of meh.
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Sadly I was just bored with a glass of wine waiting for my girlfriend to get ready. 
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