 Poster: A snowHead
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Although I have only recently joined, you all seem sensible and the kind of people I trust to provide decent, impartial advice ; )
So, I am a skier and have skied since about 4. My wife is not a skier. But she is always more than happy for me to head off with my ski buddies. Always get away at least once a year although last year was only Scotland (it was two weeks in Canada the year before) due to lack of funds. So this year have been planning on a trip with the boys to Verbier for some serious skiing, not just sliding around on ice and mud.
However, the wife very recently became pregnant (our first) and will be 15 weeks by the time of the planned trip in March. She says I should still go (pretty good huh!?) but I was just wondering – would you go? Should I go?
In case you are wondering we are going for some sun and relaxation in early May so it is not like she wont be getting a holiday pre-birth!
By all accounts it should be more than fine but am I bad for thinking of going? And if do go, am I still allowed to huck a few cliffs?!
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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It really depends on the relationship you have with your partner, and what sort of person she is.
For example a very dependant person will be more likely to be fine with it. Also, what sort of support does she have around her (do you live near her family and does she have a lot of friends close by "just in case" she needs them in an emergency.)
She will be fine at 15 weeks, but I know my misses wouldnt be too pleased with me. (but then again if roles were reversed, I rekon she would go and leave me!)
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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She will be 15 weeks pregnant? I think you should go, why would you not?
Might want to change your user name though;-)
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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| mr black wrote: |
| She says I should still go |
and the problem is ?. It will all change after the 40 week mark, and this could be your last opportunity for a time, so make the most of it while you can.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Well there isn't really a problem and I think I will still go. She is independant, has a close friend nearby and her parents are 30 minutes away.
Just trying to get some thoughts really, esepcially from any females or people with first hand experience of pregnancy and such like!
And as you say BergenBergen (Norway?), I wont be going next year thats for sure, so might as well make the most of it!
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Well I wouldn't have got away with it... but thats because my missus came with me to ski both times when pregnant.
She's given me a pass to go away in March when she's off visiting her mum with the boys this year so maybe a cheeks end of year trip for me.
Go, Enjoy.
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mr black, I think you are right to be cautious and respect your feelings of need to support your wife. Adjusting to the massive change that having a child will make to your lives will not be easy, and your wife is showing a sense of perspective in saying you should go. Well done to her. There is very little you need to do at 15 weeks other than provide emotional support, there will be a lot more to do later on! If she says you should go, then respect her view.
Best wishes for the most exciting event in your life. (And I don't mean the skiing!)
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Would agree with previous comments; although I wouldn't ask to or expect to go after about 30 weeks (BergenBergen's 40 weeks is really pushing it). 15 weeks is really not that pregnant. Unless your wife is a very anxious sort of person, or there are particular problems with the pregnancy - and I hope to goodness not - and providing there are others around who can provide practical support if needs be, then go. If you don't, your wife will feel guilty and, although you'll no doubt do your best to supress it, you'll feel a bit resentful. Having a baby is the best thing ever - even if (like mine and my wife's) she arrives mid ski season, meaning no skiing at all that year; you don't want guilt and resentment in the air if you can avoid it.
And remember to Skype your wife, soberly, every night!
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Get permission in writing then run for the hills.
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go. If it's anything like my experience it will be a good number of years before you get to go again once the baby is born
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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| boabski wrote: |
| go. If it's anything like my experience it will be a good number of years before you get to go again once the baby is born |
My daughter celebrated her first birthday in Les gets with Ski Famille, so it does not have to be years before you go, you just need to plan and save up enough.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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mr black, Have 3 kids under 7 including 2 year old who had a partial foot amputation in the summer following a massive infection and will be off end of January on a solo trip again so think you're fine to head off.
As for Hucking cliffs I've never skiied to that level but do tend to risk assess much more on the sedate side thinking wouldn't be much use if physically or mentally impaired. And looking after the kids hard enough without me adding to it.
Be aware your wife may hold your future trips to barter for extra kids/pets!!!
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| blahblahblah wrote: |
| boabski wrote: |
| go. If it's anything like my experience it will be a good number of years before you get to go again once the baby is born |
My daughter celebrated her first birthday in Les gets with Ski Famille, so it does not have to be years before you go, you just need to plan and save up enough. |
+1 Sideways Junior did the same on a trip with Espirit in 2010. Off again with 2 kids (2yo and 6 months) on sunday.
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You know it makes sense.
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Why are you asking us? Man up and make a decision.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Poster: A snowHead
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As said above; fill yer boots coz it's your last for a while. If she objects then insist on a paternity test.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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At 15 weeks there won't be anything for you to do. I'd go for it if I were you (and i did when i was in your position last year!)
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Quality answers - cheers andersont and Frosty the Snowman. Better grow a pair eh!?
But actually some real sage advice too. Much obliged.
Verbier with the boys during the Freeride World Tour week. Should be a good one! 
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Go for it. I take it you'll only be away a week and the FWT week in Verbier is perfect. You get the cliff hucking vicariously by sitting on the Col des Gentianes and watching the action. It has a really nice vibe. Having seen all that extreme stuff and the odd rescue you'll probably ski more sensibly!
Our two are now 19 and 16 and I haven't missed any seasons. If my calculation is right the little one will be around 3-6 months old by the 2013 season so that is perfect for a lads trip as well - pack off the missus and family to the in-laws and go have a week with the lads.
As others have said it's really about your relationship. We don't work on the basis of "you had a weeks skiing that cost x so I have to have a week doing so and so and spend the same". I love to ski and do it as much as possible but otherwise I dont spend much. Mrs DJL likes to buy art etc. So long as we can pay the bills and I get the skiing she can spend the rest of what we pull together on whatever she wants. We've never been niggly about time spent on holiday apart (we do enjoy going on holiday together as well!).
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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| Quote: |
She will be earlyish on and past the 12-week mark, so the risk of anything going wrong is minimal and if it did, she has support nearby.
Just don't go and damage yourself skiing, she may not be too tolerant of that
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From a female perspective I'd say this is hitting it right on the head. If you came back injured and were more of a burden than a baby, she might go off you! 
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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| mr black wrote: |
| Should I go? |
Yes! Mrs Weevil has just passed 32 weeks and gave me the ok to go on a trip... Unfortunately the bank manager said otherwise.
As somebody else said, there's very little for you to do for some time yet, although brushing up on your back-rub skills will reap benefits later.
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As for skiing after the birth: our first was 10m old when we took her on her first trip. Our 2nd is xue end of Feb, but the Mrs is lettting me off on a ling weekend trip end of Jan, so even at around 35/36 Weeks she's being a real gem. I'm a lucky man but a comment above made me think: am I "bad" for still going so late in the pregnancy?
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| Quote: |
am I "bad" for still going so late in the pregnancy?
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yes.  You'll need to make up for it later.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Go while you can, head for the hills!!! 
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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On the basis of the thread title, I would have thought the answer was take plenty of condoms!
Seriously, I should have thought the thing to do is to ask her and if she says OK, as she has, then go. She might welcome the peace and quiet and the chance to go and visit friends and do girly baby things. I wouldn't have though that she is likely to have any medical problems that early into pregnancy if all is OK when you go.
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Go!
You may find that you become less daring with the thought of fatherhood and responsibility, I did.
As has been said, careful planning means ski trips can still be done with little uns. We went with twins aged one and then the following year with a 3 month as well.
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You know it makes sense.
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I'd have told other half to "go" at that stage. Actually at that stage I would have (and did) go myself....
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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I found out my other half was up the duff in Jan 09 and we'd planned to go in the March so she said I could have a boys hol - loved it, absolutely no guilt about going because since then there hasn't been a snow hol for either of us, despite us wanting to go. Do it while you can. It's only two years on from the nipper driving that we're actually getting back on the slopes thanks to arm twisting of the grandparents
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Poster: A snowHead
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It's only one week out of a long pregnancy. If she has accepted you going off previously and is saying it is OK it probably is. As someone said, the problem will be worse the next couple of years. After the kid can walk, of course, you can go skiing with the kid. 
If you are seriously worried (but not enough to cancel) why not take her with you and meet her for some lunches and spend your evenings with her (sometimes with the lads if she quite likes them). Perhaps even take one day off to do something together. Good practice for when you are teaching the kid to ski.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Go, no question. And don't get guilt ridden about going in future years either. Presumabely she married you for who you are and that includes you the skier. I spent a couple of years mooching miserabely at home after the birth of my kids instead of going rock climbing like I always used too. Till my partner told me to stop being so miserable and get out of the house! A happy partner = a happy relationship. That goes for skiing, rock climbing, table tennis or knitting for that matter. Remember it works both ways and you need to allow her to do her thing too. Once the kid is old enough take it with you and give her a week of peace, you never know she might decide to join you and see what all the fuss is about.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Go go go! I'd let my OH go if I was in early pregnancy... enjoy it while you don't have to worry about trying to get ski boots onto a screaming toddler!!
I've been spending all my time looking after alternately ill and busy with his own business OH... just today he told me I need to get back into my fencing (my standard sport outlet for the week.) I know where you're coming from robapplegate even without the kids. Get the kids into climbing though before the child's climbing instinct is knocked out of them!
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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yes go, life is about to change....
My OH has never let me forget that I went to the match on the due day - my daugther now 11 was 10 days late anyway, so going to the match in the end was ok, but I was waiting for that "would x please find a steward as his wife has gone into labour"
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Come to think of it it was a few years later that I followed her and the kids out to see what this skiing lark was like and got hooked myself. Never have persuaded her to try thr rock climbing though.
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My wife will be 23 weeks with our third when I go away on a lads trip in February.... and I went away when she was 6 months with our second and when our baby was 11 weeks old with our first.
So I would definately say, GO! ... IMO, 15 weeks is a perfect time to go. You've gotten through the first trimester, had the scan, know everything is ok, your wife should've settled into pregnancy (stopped morning sickness unless she has it real bad), and is not yet really big or heavily pregnant.
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Thanks all. Some great views and opinions and all in all very helpful - not only about this trip but future holidays too.
Cheers robapplegate, I climb and mountain bike... maybe 'little Eric' can convince the wife of the finer things in life!?
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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My wife will also be 15 weeks pregnant when I go end of March, with the lads!! As long as she's fine with it I don't see a problem.
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FAQ
I like the idea of sobre skypeing her each evening. Oh, and a bottle of something nice & smelly from the duty free on your return too. As for hucking cliffs 
Make sure you are fully insured 
