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Very poor at languages: can anyone supply some essential phrases for the slopes please?

 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
I'm off to France in February and Austria for Easter and given my track record, I will need translations in both languages for the following:

1. I am still a virgin, can you point me to the nearest snowman please?
2. I don't seem to fit in here. Can you direct me to the nearest Austrian Mullet Creation Centre please?
3. I am from England and lack anything resembling a culture. Would you mind drinking with me to a stupor and then have a fight with me?
4. I have all the gear and no idea. Can you help me spend another two grand this season on kit so I can look good crashing into moguls?

Much obliged to you all,

Kevin xxxxxx
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 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
kevin mcclean, i think you'll find europeans quite adept at understanding english. but good of you to try and sort some phrases out before you head over! rolling eyes Laughing
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Quote:

1. I am still a virgin, can you point me to Frosty the Snowman please?

kevin mcclean, Corrected that first one for you Very Happy
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 You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
kevin mcclean, If they don't understand, just repeat the sentence louder and louder until they do

Laughing
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 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
kevin mcclean,

For Austria one phrase will cover all that - "Ich bin ein Insel affe".
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 You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
I like that fartbag - where did you get it?
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 Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
I will guess at the german, if there is anyone there who actually speaks this evil language and wants to mock me for getting it wrong, there are two reasons why i dont have to speak it well Toofy Grin


1. Ich bin noch Jungfer, konnen Sie mich zu der nachste Schneeman direkten
2. Ich Passe nicht heirein, konnen Sie mich bitte zu der nachste Osterreiche Mullet Macher direkten
3. Ich bin Englander und so habe ich kein Kultur, Wurden Sie bitte mit mir trinken und dann kampfen.
4. Ich habe alle die Austrustung und kein ahrnung, kannst du mich bitte helfen, noch 2 thousand zu verbringen auf kit so ich can cool ausehen wann ich in die mogeln unfallen.

adding one, indispensible in all languages!!

Wo ist das feuer? das feuer ist in meine Hose
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 After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
Quote:
Wo ist das feuer? das feuer ist in meine Hose


Nein! ist es in meiner Hose!
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 You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
That got me all the way round Europe in many different languages/cultures/classes. Instant friend maker!
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 Ski the Net with snowHeads
Ski the Net with snowHeads
kevin mcclean, I'm sure you missed a few......for example...... Skullie

5. I'm from England and what do you mean they haven't pisted the @rse out of every inch of fresh
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 snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
Quote:

I have all the gear and no idea. Can you help me spend another two grand this season on kit so I can look good crashing into moguls?


Surely more useful as:

У меня есть все снаряжение и не знаю. Можете ли вы помочь мне провести еще две тысячи в этом сезоне на Kit, чтобы я мог посмотреть хорошее врезался магнатов?
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 And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
kevin mcclean, sounds a little like Beef poking through there...
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 So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
Beef and Chips?
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 You know it makes sense.
You know it makes sense.
Heres a handy thread from a while back

http://www.snowheads.com/ski-forum/viewtopic.php?p=201040

and this one

http://snowheads.com/ski-forum/viewtopic.php?t=3547&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

and this one

http://snowheads.com/ski-forum/viewtopic.php?p=15510&highlight=#15510
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 Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
"fcuk you froggie" usually works..............



okbye
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