Perils of the single traveller

A snowHead

Just back from Livigno and my first night was one that would have better suited a 17 year old than someone older and supposedly wiser.
As it was a 5am flight and 5 hour transfer it was mid afternoon before I arrived at the resort and due to a lack of sleep decided on a few beers and an early night so I could be out first thing in the morning.
This went pear shaped shortly after setting out when I went into Gallis at happy hour to find 2 litre mugs only Euro3.30 so rather later than planned I arrived back at the B&B, stripped off and crashed onto my bed.
My problems began here as firstly the layout of my room was exactly the same as my bedroom at home and secondly the lock was operated by a key card that had to be placed in a slot inside the room to operate the lights.
Consequently at about 1am when my bladder protested at the 2 litre mugs I got up as at home on autopilot, walked passed my perfectly serviceable ensuite bathroom and into the corridor expecting to find my bathroom facing me and woke up just as the light (on a motion sensor) came on in tandem with the double click of my door locking behind me.
This was not good.
After my initial panic I decided that I would have to brave reception and get them to let me back in but when I got there I found the door locked with a notice saying that it was not manned until 8am and giving an emergency phone number which is a lot of good to a cold, naked bloke desperate for a pee.
Back in the corridor outside my room I reasoned that I had two choices, either knock on a strangers door and ask them if they minded a naked bloke spending the night with them or dying of hypothermia and on balance death seemed prefereable.
At this point my bladder reminded me that a third option was death by internal rupture which promised to be both messy and painfull so I realised that I would have to find somewhere for a pee which is difficult on a marble staircase.
Consequently I went to the lowest part of the building and to my joy found the cleaners cupboard and with huge relief half filled her bucket and knicked a duster so that at least my frozen corpse would have some dignity (not that fear and the cold had left much to hide).
Once again back outside my room I realised that I was in serious trouble as it was very cold so decided that the only thing to do was to try and find the couple who I had been talking to on the coach and see if they would let me in.
As they were on the top floor I made my way upstairs where the snow gods smiled on me as I found a linen cupboard which I half emptied and made a bed in the corridor outside my room.
After a fitfull nights sleep I heard the receptionist come in and despite his surprise at being met by a frantic bloke dressed in a bed sheet he let me back into my room.
As it was now breakfast time and I really needed a coffee I decided to deal with my bucket of pee afterwards.
As I made my way back upstairs I couldn't keep the smile off my face at getting away with it until I turned the corner to my room and discovered the cleaners trolley complete with my bucket of pee and now with her dusters floating in it.
At this point I decided to go skiing!!!!!!

So the moral of this sorry tale.
1. If you have a key card tape it to an accessible part of your body.
2. Beware happy hour at Gallis
3. Dont tell your Rep unless you want the whole resort to know

Embarassed

A snowHead

Stephen Sadler, And now the whole world knows! Very Happy

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

More importantly nobody will ever again want to share accomodation with Stephen Sadler, Laughing

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I know I shouldn't laugh at other people's misery, but that was very funny Very Happy

Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.

pollittcl, My wife saw to that within half an hour of me telling her anyway.
D G Orf, Thats the problem, with shared accomodation you just knock on the door and ask the wife, girlfriend, boyfriend to let you back in.
I did put my bag accross the door everynight after that.

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Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...

Sounds like something from The Worst Ski Trip thread Very Happy

I think you're right there D G Orf! Laughing

After all it is free

Stephen Sadler, a while back there was an Après thread on "imaginary worst-ever ski trip". I thought the contributions brilliant (I hasten to add I didn't make any) but this just goes to show that truth is stranger than fiction. You deserve much pleasure dining out on that one! Thank you for the amusement throughout our household!

Stephen Sadler, most excellent report - go to the head of the class - fantastic! Laughing

*Ski* the Net with snowHeads

-beat that one.............great story.

snowHeads are a friendly bunch.

Stephen Sadler, Well written 10/10 for ingenuity.

snow reports

Very amusing tale, maybe you shoud start a thread of 'an actual worst ever ski trip'.

Stephen Sadler, the Mr Bean of Burnley wink

You know it makes sense.

Stephen Sadler, brilliant Laughing

Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:

Outstanding! Presumably the rest of the trip went okay....or was that chapter 1?

A snowHead

I imagine that PJ sales will be going through the roof now!! hope you managed to have a good days skiing after all that!!

A snowHead

AdrianV,
Yes, it was a bit icy by the end of the week but no further mishaps and a good weeks skiing.

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

"ave it". Top tale Laughing

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Perils of the single traveller

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