 Poster: A snowHead
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Masque, funny on one hand but I did a kidney at glenshee last month and boy did it hurt!
(Oh and your tale wins by miles!  )
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Masque I think this thread should be closed from more entries, you are the clear winner 
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Ooh blimey. Too many. The two that spring to mind are:
a) wiping out spectacularly on a toe-edge just after emerging from the "can't link turns" stage and into the "hey I'm snowboarding, I'm so cool I have my own microclimate" stage, slamming into the (hard packed) piste so hard I did literally see stars for a minute, hurt my neck, hurt my back, my knees. Fortunately the piste was empty and I was all alone. I did whimper in private for a minute or so. Suddenly I heard a voice... "M'sieur...? you ok...? M'sieur...?" which was a little disconcerting, seeing as I was utterly alone on the piste. I chose to ignore the voice and continue to sob quietly into the snow, but the voice returned and was joined by a (female) friend. On raising my head to engage with a cheery wave of being alive and well, I noticed that there was no-one in sight. I then heard sniggering close by... eventually it dawned on me to look up. I then realised I'd had the entire episode directly underneath a stalled chairlift I hadn't noticed. Of course all the chairs in proximity were full of hyper-suave boarder dudes and their seriously attractive lady friends, several board rats with instructors and, of course, two of my mates... Why do these things ALWAYS happen under chairlifts? And why do the people on the chairlift, no matter what nationality, always instantly recognise me as being English?
b) Shortly before episode "a" above, I was on the bunniest of bunny slopes (les deux alpes, actually) that had a gradient of about 1 in 3 billion. I was relatively successfully getting on and off the draglift, taking the wee-wee out of my mates also learning to board that kept falling off the draglift and generally being a hip and smooth boarder dude. Just before I got onto the draglift one more time, a poor little ski urchin at the back of an ESF crocodile came a cropper. I graciously helped him to his feet and brushed snow off him and patronisingly patted him on his way with a look of, "kids, huh?" to my mates. Flushed with the glory of my child-rescuing antics, I went for it on my next run down the slope, letting the board run fast and loose for a good twenty metres before attempting a turn. I must have been approaching 3 or 4 mph by the time the toe-edge caught and I ate snow hard. I did this right outside the cafe, so they all laughed at me. All of my mates and everyone else on the drag lift laughed at me. I sat up, pride wounded, but not (yet) dealt a fatal blow. I then felt a pat on my back and turned to see the ski urchin I'd rescued only moments before, who was still not quite as tall as my shoulder whilst I was sitting on the piste. To my immense joy he then proceeded to insist, very solemnly, on helping me to my feet and brushing some snow off me. The final insult was delivered with a chilling sang froid as he sent me on my way with a cheerful and beautifully patronising pat on the bum (he couldn't reach my back) and a sad shake of the head to the assembled audience... if I ever track the little... angel down...
oh and while I'm at it...
c) Last year in Garmisch up on the Zugspitze. Great fresh dry powder had been blown into a small overhang right near a steep but small hill and after a few false starts, we found the route to get around to include it in our trips down. After videoing approximately 15 of my group on a mixture of boards and skis negotiate this feature with varying degrees of skill and success, I realised that I was the only one left and so packed up my camera and prepared to shred some snow. On standing up, I moved about two feet forward, misjudged the depth of the powder, leaned too far forward and faceplanted. Got up, got worried as the light was so flat I couldn't see the edge of the lip I was trying to drop off and slowed down again, had the lip pointed out to me by someone nearby, went for it and just as I got to the indicated point and prepared to jump stylishly into the air before plunging into the deep powder, I realised I'd misjudged by 5 feet and was actually already dropping off the edge as I tried to jump. Now to me it felt rad and gnarly as I toppled forward and wiped out completely, but on reviewing the video footage available, I now realise it was quite the most pathetic, slowmoving, hopeless and hapless bit of boarding probably seen on the Zugspitze all day. It goes without saying that there was a full cafe nearby and a crowded lift passing by too...
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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carled, its not a proper embarrasing moment unless its witnessed by the obligatory chair lift / cafe / random attractive member of the opposite sex / friends etc... you have fulfilled 3 such events, you should feel proud of your achievements
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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was in alpe h'heuz and was riding a Burton assymetric and trying to do big GS carves when I managed to dig the nose into a bump and flew over the top of my board.
After digging my head out of the snow I had a strange feeling my board was missing. On checking I found myself still attached to my bindings but my board was off down the hill. The bindings had pulled the bolts straight off the board. Ended up walking up the hill - lifty would not allow me to ride the chair holding my board - then had to walk back down to town with people giving me strange looks - still wearing the bindings on my feet.
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my first T bar
first time, instead of waiting for it to take up the slack, I pulled it while trying to get myself balanced and it came with me and i fell to the floor
Tried again, lost control, and ended up with a lump on my forehead for the next 3 days.
Les Gets/Morzine in 3 weeks time and it looks like I can avoid drags alltogether
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Trying to impress a very handsome man I'd just met & ridden with for the day, I whipped up some speed in very very flat light conditions in order to traverse a flat green..... using a very slight dip I'd spotted (?) I belted down & expected to shoot up again.... and be catapaulted over the flat...
I didn't
The ground gave way to absolutely nothing but thin air
I crashed headlong into the massive hole beneath me and landed at the feet of two other boarders preparing to jump.
Handsome man laughed, quite a lot, but also thought I was cool for trying to attempt such a huge jump.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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DebbiDoesSnow, surely after seeing the photos of the faceplant on another thread THAT has now to be your most embarassing moment??? great pic!!
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Mouth, I did list here on page 3 but didnt feel the need for photo's. Unfortunately for me Swirly did !!!
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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mowing down a grandmother who was standing in the middle of the piste when I tried to execute a turn on a part of the run that was too steep for my beginner abilities in front of the whole lift queue.
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Simon (Mr T), Didn't do human bowling as my knee was still bug***ed......as for the "fall". Nobody to blame but myself...caused by tiredness from having been out for a few nights enjoying myself Pure knackeredness (is there such a word?) on my part I'm affraid
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You know it makes sense.
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if knackeredness is not a word it should be - maybe along with 'the ohcrapness' of a situation in the spirit of the thread?
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Ok Rich,heard some good excuses..........we were 'Enjoying' Ourselves too remember!
Must say any Resort with a 'Titty-Bar' is always a recipe for disaster! 
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Poster: A snowHead
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Guys watching naked ladies is no excuse for poor boarding skills
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Must say any Resort with a 'Titty-Bar' is always a recipe for disaster!
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Indeed, steamed up goggles and all that!!! 
DebbiDoesSnow, It's all I have I'm afraid.....that and the fact that I'm no good in powder
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Isn't strapping a snowboard on your feet embarrassing enough?
j/k I tried it, had fun, but stuck to skiing
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Taxi for wbsr,
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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DebbiDoesSnow, and coat .....
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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And forget about the Taxi... a walk will be good enough...
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In ill fitting rear entry ski boots, sporting a purple & lime fartbag with a rip in the crotch
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DebbiDoesSnow, dropping his poles as he goes.....
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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rayscoops, not sure I would like to see that if it was day 4 of the holiday (using the normal mans pant cycle !)
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DebbiDoesSnow, do not worry, you would catch a whiff way before you saw anything
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FAQ
). I jumped up and started the pursuit down hill. There was a moment when I thought I could dive and catch it, but I couldn't. So I picked myself up again and careered down the slope... much greif from the skiers and boarders on the adjacent button lift...
