| I ski, she safaris. Good idea? |
| Yes |
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| No |
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[ 23 ] |
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| Voted : 40 |
| Total Votes : 40 |
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 Poster: A snowHead
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Part One: The Bad News
As some of you may know my better half of 10ish years proposed to me last year. All I did was ask what she wanted for her birthday. I didn't expect her to say that she wanted to marry me. Two months' salary on an engagement ring, my back bottom.
Anyway, I've just been sniffing about for a ten night ski trip to Banff next Easter, but have just been told that she'd rather spend the money on the honeymoon and doing some work on the house.
Part Two: Advice Needed
Would it be bad form for me, having done a fair bit of work on the house, to spend my part of the honeymoon in Banff next March/April while she spends hers in Kenya on safari next July/August?
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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hyweljenkins, congratulations.
I think that's a perfectly sensible idea. Absinthe makes heart grow fonder and al that. If she really wants to spend the rest of her life with you, she'll understand that while she may come first, skiing comes first too.
And skis are cheaper than engagement rings, so altogether more sensible.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Well if she doesn't ski, no point in trying to persuade her to spend scarce cash/leave time on a ski holiday. That doesn't mean you should stop skiing, or that she can't go on safaris. ..... Personally I don't have a big problem with separate holidays, when couples have very different interests, and after 10 years you don't really need a honeymoon, per se, but I do suggest you don't call separate trips a honeymoon!
different priorities about expenditure - need urgent discussion! Unless you want to spend the next 30 years spending money on a new kitchen when you'd rather spend it on a ski holiday, maybe you need to do some negotiation?
if she wants to marry you, you have some negotiating strength. You'll lose it all afterwards, so negotiate now.  There must be endless scope - maybe if she wants to spend £X on the kind of wedding she wants, you could spend £X on the kind of honeymoon you want. If she wants to dictate both the kind of wedding (and therefore the cost) and the kind of honeymoon, I suggest you put your foot down now before it's too late. Unless she earns all the money, of course, in which case you might have to be a little humble...
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I think if you are going to have a honeymoon at all, it would be better if you did it together. Is there something or somewhere you would both enjoy? If not, why not book a couple of nights somewhere really luxurious for immediately after the wedding, then divide up the rest for your separate holidays.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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After 10 years together you are to all intents and purposes an old married couple. Maybe the honeymoon period is over?? As Helen says a weekend in a romantic luxury hotel sounds ideal. Being married to a heavy smoker and non-skier I personally opt for separate winter holidays. Skiing holidays should be a pre-nupt agreement!
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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hyweljenkins, Looking at the data so far I would suggest you ferret all your dosh into a secret account, as there is a good chance you will be divorced after a year 
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I only have one question - why ?
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Smokin Joe, why are they getting married, or why do they want separate honeymoons?
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Frosty the Snowman, a whole year? I bet I can do it in 10 months!
Helen Beaumont, we don't want separate honeymoons - I just want to go skiing as well.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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hyweljenkins, I know, but it did sound like you both want very different things.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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| Helen Beaumont wrote: |
| Smokin Joe, why are they getting married, or why do they want separate honeymoons? |
Bit of both really.
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safari.... together, you have no choice..!!!!
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You know it makes sense.
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JT, I think I will have to agree with that.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Don't be wet. Be a man. Cut the losertalk.
Tell her straight. She is going to Canada.
Tell her it is a white safari.
To see lions. Mountain lions.
Then dig deep. Take her on a brown safari. Have a rumble in the jungle.
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Poster: A snowHead
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Helen Beaumont,
yep..never hear the last of it otherwise...
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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hyweljenkins,
Honeymooning on different continents - very romantic!!
I think we can say with some degree on certainty that you are a REAL skier! Your wife-to-be will probably think that you're a REAL schitt though!
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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I voted yes.
Tell her she is going to Banff.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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I had a bit of a similiar dilemma last year in relation to the fifth anniversary. I posted here for advice and the best piece of advice I got was a cracker of an idea to do a 10/14 day trip to Italy, taking in Venice for a few days and then to the dolomites for a few days.
Whilst I thought it was a great compromise and having weighed up my own selfish wishes and her preference as a surprise I brought her on a skiing trip to Austria 
She liked it, although we did have to go on all day shopping trip to innsbruck in the middle of the week. Oh the art of compromise.
So my advice is, very quickly, start devloping a morbid fear of all things safari like, tell her how terrinfying you find elephants, land rovers and tents. Then book Banff.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Find a honeymoon you can both enjoy together. It has a symbolic significance for most women it simply doesn't have for most men. Women seemingly need things like that to feel rooted and properly sorted and it's churlish to deny a partner that. But make clear that marriage will make no difference to the fact that you're a real skier and always will be.
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I am obviously not a typical wife, the thought of a shopping trip does not fill me with excitement.
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I've always managed to find plenty of shopping opportuntiites while skiing.....jacket, salopettes, gloves, hats, cowboy boots, stetson, jewellery, alcohol.....Lord help me if there were "real" shops as well 
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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| Quote: |
Women seemingly need things like that to feel rooted and properly sorted
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Some women. Anyway, the woman in question doesn't want to go shopping, she wants to go on a safari. I like safaris too, as long as you do it properly and stay in a tented camp, not in a ghastly great Butlins place with waiters in white jackets, satellite TVs and a casino. My point was that the overall choice of wedding and honeymoon style and location should be a joint effort - neither partner should attempt to have the whole thing their own way.
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hyweljenkins,
Some people (both men and women) seem to think that once a ring is on their finger things will be different and better for them.
I'd suggest you sit down with her and discuss how you both think married life is going to change your current relationship. Sounds like you both have different interests - it's probably better to make clear how much you respect (tolerate ) each others interests. At a guess the 'spending money on the house' doesn't mean the honeymoon / marriage isn't important to her but moreso getting the house in order before the kids come along is. If this is the case you wanting to blow it on a ski holiday while she watches the elephants probably won't be welcomed with open arms.
PS Even if 32561 people on snowheads think you are right this might not be conclusive enough evidence to convince her.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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| Quote: |
I've always managed to find plenty of shopping opportuntiites while skiing.....jacket, salopettes, gloves, hats, cowboy boots, stetson, jewellery, alcohol
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holidayloverxx, you forgot goggles, skis and my personal favourite...chocolate!! Incidentally, are you a secret line dancer? 
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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Do a ski Safari, best of both then 
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You know it makes sense.
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Did I see on here that South Africa had good snow this season? Could it work - a combined trip ski and safari on the same trip next summer?
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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| Quote: |
| PS Even if 32561 people on snowheads think you are right this might not be conclusive enough evidence to convince her. |
Wot? You can't be serious????? Of course it would convince her. "You did a poll about our honeymoon on an internet forum? Well, that'll be OK then, better book the skiing trip right away."
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Poster: A snowHead
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Specialman, anyone who behaves like that is far too immature to consider getting married.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Lizzard, chill....
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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A safari? if she wants elephants and tigers take her to London Zoo!
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Nadenoodlee, you don't get tigers on an African safari.
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pam w, well what's the point in going half way round the world when you don't even get tigers!? Go to zoo- all in one place. Job done skis on
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Is the house falling down? Has it got a hole in the roof? No?
Well why bother spending money on that, you can be miserable doing DIY later when you've got kids to ruin your life. Sod the house, have both holidays. Better still give the safari a miss and have two ski holidays.
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Do African tigers have bigger ears?
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FAQ
Our anniversary pressie is a trip to 
go for it 
