 Poster: A snowHead
|
How'd you break your arm?
Try to picture this as you read it! Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be
able to appreciate the humor of the slopes as written by a New Orleans
paper:
A friend just got back from a holiday skiing trip to Utah with the kind of story
that warms the cockles of anybody's heart. Conditions were perfect...12 below,
no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over...the "Tell me when we're having
fun" kind of day.
One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was in dire
need of a rest room. He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was
relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for female
skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away.
If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a
temperature of 12 below doesn't help matters. With time running out, the woman
weighed her options. Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain,
suggested that since she was wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off in the
woods and no one would even notice. He assured her, "The white will provide more
than adequate camouflage."
So she headed for the tree line, began lowering her ski pants and proceeded to
do her thing. If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there
is a right way and wrong way to set your skis so you don't move.
Yup, you got it!!! She had them positioned the wrong way. Steep slopes are not
forgiving...even during the most embarrassing moments. Without warning, the
woman found herself skiing backward, out-of-control, racing through the
trees...somehow missing all of them and onto another slope. Her derriere and
the reverse side were still bare, her pants down around her knees, and she was
picking up speed all the while. She continued backwards, totally out-of-control,
creating an unusual vista for the other skiers. The woman skied back under the
lift and finally collided violently with a pylon.
The bad news was that she broke her arm and was unable to pull up her ski
pants. At long last her husband arrived, putting an end to her nudie show,
then summoned the ski patrol. They transported her to a hospital.
While in the emergency room, a man with an obviously broken leg was put in the
bed next to hers. "So, how'd you break your leg?" she asked, making small talk.
"It was the stupidest thing you ever saw," he said. "I was riding up this ski lift
and suddenly, I couldn't believe my eyes! There was this crazy woman skiing
backward, out-of-control, down the mountain, with her bare bottom hanging out
of her pants. I leaned over to get a better look and fell out of the lift."
... "So, how'd you break your arm? 
|
|
|
|
|
|
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
|
|
|
|
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
|
|
A joke first told in around 1903 I think.
|
|
|
|
|
|
You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
|
|
|
|
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
|
| Bode Swiller wrote: |
| A joke first told in around 1903 I think. |
According to my time setting, it was 1845.
"Tue Apr 17, 2007 6:45 pm"
|
|
|
|
|
|
You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Although not as spectacular - no broken arm, no one about, and only a drift onto piste of a few yards - Mrs MM did do that in Breckenridge many moons ago.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Bode Swiller wrote: |
| A joke first told in around 1903 I think. |
But I bet it still made you smile!
|
|
|
|
|
|
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
|
Bryan came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe “Who the hell are you?” Demanded Brian, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?”.
The mysterious Man answered “This isn’t your bedroom and I’m St Peter”. Brian was stunned “You mean I’m dead!!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t said goodbye to my family.. you’ve got to send me back straight away”.
St Peter replied “Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.” Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. “This ain’t so bad” he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said “So you’re the new hen,how are you enjoying your first day here?” “It’s not so bad” replies Brian, “but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode”. “You’re ovulating” explained the rooster, “don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before”. “Never” replies Brian “Well just relax and let it happen”
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him. ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting ,
“Brian, wake up you drunken b**tard, you’re sh1tting on the bed.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
|
|
waterskibabe, no, sorry. Deadpan til the end.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
FAQ
