 Poster: A snowHead
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A long and rather sad tale - I'm afraid my Mum is extremely ill and unlikely to recover.
We went off for two weeks skiing based in Courchevel 1850 on Saturday 27th January as planned. All was well, and I checked on Mum before we went. She was anxious but seemed relatively well, and determined that we should have a good holiday. We had been trying to get social services to review her case since before Christmas, with no luck, but a couple of days before we left, the GP surgery managed to get them on the phone and they promised to review her urgently. Mum said she would be upset if we didn't go. So we went.
All was well until Saturday 3rd Feb, when Mum couldn't get off the bed. The ambulancemen, who pick her up from the floor on a regular basis, decided enough was enough and took her to hospital. Unfortunately she was seen by a nurse, who decided that she wasn't trying hard enough and sent her home without doing any tests or checking anything in her history. Now, a lady who has had MS for 50 years and just got over a huge cancer operation should never be accused of not trying!
Of course we didn't know this, and phoning from France, Mum reassured me all was well. She didn't want us to cut short our holiday, and was pleased we were having a good time.
The next problem came on Wednesday last week. I phoned Mum on arriving back from the pistes as usual, only to find she had been stuck on the bed all day. The carers aren't allowed to lift her, so they just left her there, and didn't even empty her urine bag which was full and painful. The GP arrived at 2pm and called an ambulance, which eventually turned up 4 hours later. She was taken to hospital and admitted and they thought she had a chest infection. I think it is poor that I had to chase the ambulance and other carers by phone from France!
We decided enough was enough and we would try and get home. Only all the flights on Thursday were cancelled because of snow in the UK. Only one flight was available on Friday and that was late at night. Since our scheduled return was early on Saturday morning, we decided to keep to those plans.
We then arrived at the airport on Saturday, only to find the flight was delayed by at least 4 hours. Still no problem we thought - we can get to
the hospital before the end of visiting. Eventually we boarded the flight which taxied to the end of the runway 5 hours late. And stood there. The pilot came on the PA and told us that there was a fault with the plane and he had to return to the stand. The engineers were all in Birmingham, not in France. They told him to basically re-boot the plane. It didn't work - the fault still showed up, so we all had to get off, get our baggage and then go to check in.
They then told us the best they could do was a flight to Exeter (a long way from Birmingham). We reluctantly agreed to this and finally, nearly 12 hours late, we got on a plane to Exeter. Only to find there was NO FOOD on the plane other than Pringles and Mars bars.
On arrival in Exeter they expected us, now pretty starving after a whole day without food, to get on a bus to Birmingham which would not arrive until after midnight, following which we would have to find a taxi and get home. No way.
We stayed in a hotel in Exeter overnight, as we were both exhausted and my treatment was overdue. We managed to persuade the pub to serve us a meal, and fell into bed. On Sunday morning we finally got a train back to Birmingham only to find out that trains to Tamworth were cancelled due to engineering works on the line, and we had to get a taxi from New Street to Tamworth.
On getting home, we dumped the skis, had a cuppa (no hot drinks on the train due to a technical fault!), and jumped in the car to Walsall Manor Hospital. All this time I'd been in touch, relaying messages to Mum, and was told she was "comfortable".
When I arrived, I was shocked. Mum was frail before we left, but the deterioration in two weeks was astonishing. I also noticed the antibiotics
she was on - they are only used for MRSA, not for any other infections. I went to talk to the Ward Sister who was excellent - very switched on indeed. She knew I was a doctor (Mum has been in that ward before), and we had a chat. I asked about the tests she had and she said "You'd better speak to a doctor about them" which I knew meant bad news. She then actually let me look at the scans and reports.
I'm afraid she has cancer, and it has spread. Last year she had a kidney removed for cancer, and we thought it had cured her problem, but evidently not. A CT scan yesterday confirmed that it has spread widely, and also recurred at the primary site. She is very thin, not eating much unless I feed her, and is intermittently confused, not helped by the cancer upsetting her blood biochemistry. She is on appropriate treatment, but I feel like she is slipping away from me.
So, I apologise for being absent for so long. It is looking very bad indeed, and I guess I may not spend much time here in the next few
days/weeks.
The skiing was excellent, and four private lessons over the two weeks made another huge difference. Some judicious racing with Mr Docsquid on the last day was the highlight - he is now getting worried at my new found turn of speed and improved confidence  So much so he hired some world cup GS skis while we were out there (an unfair advantage IMO).
Anyway, thanks for listening. I hope nobody else suffers the kind of return trip we did courtesy of FlyBE and Chambery Airport.
In the meantime, I'm trying to get Mum referred for hospice care - the best place for her at the moment.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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docsquid, No need to apologise, nor feel guilty, and she obviously didn't want to interfere with your life/skiing. Respect that.
We only get one 'Mum' each, so do what you can while you can and keep smiling. More like this than anything else.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Wow, I was actually in tears at the end of that. Im glad you enjoyed your time in Courch. Mum's are pretty selfless people, always thinking about others before themselves. She sounds like a very special lady x
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Docsquid -- Sorry to hear about your mom.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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chin up doc, thoughts are with you
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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no need to say sorry as Agenterre said we only have one mum 
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docsquid,
All the best.
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docsquid,
A rotten end to the holiday. I hope your mum gets all the best care from the hospice that she deserves.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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docsquid, you have a Mum in a million. Treasure your time together, god bless.
Last edited by You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net. on Wed 14-02-07 18:09; edited 1 time in total
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docsquid, hope everything works out for the best.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Wow, just read that, your Mum sounds a great person, putting up with all that and not wanting to worry you.
Fingers crossed for her, and support to you and your family from snowheads. Keep your chin up, and be positive and strong for your family and your mum.
regards,
greg
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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docsquid,
Best wishes to you and your mum
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docsquid, That's an awful situation for both your mum and you to be in. You have my sympathy and best wishes.
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You know it makes sense.
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Hard luck for your mum, but at least she's fortunate enough to have who knows what they're doing looking out for her.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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docsquid, I am really sorry to hear about your mum. I know first hand how difficult it is when a parent is very ill (my dad was ill for 14 years). Mum's are really very precious - we only have one in our life and should treasure them. My mum and I fight like cat and dog (that's just the way we are and its quite funny really) but she is my mum, I love her and don't really know what I would do without her.
You have my very best wishes xx
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Poster: A snowHead
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docsquid, Sad to hear that news, best wishes to all your family.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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docsquid, I don't have the words to help you with this, but please know that our (mine and Tricia's) thoughts are with you all.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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docsquid, just spend as much time with her as possible - It's difficult to see her deteriorate in front of your eyes, but it's time that you'll treasure for the rest of your life.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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docsquid, Your Mum is a selfless trooper! I'm really sorry to hear your sad news -all the very best to you, and your family during this very difficult time.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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My prayers and best wishes are with you both. Like said above Mums are one in a million.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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docsquid, very sorry to hear,my heart goes out to you and your family. Both myself and my wife lost our mothers at an early age therefore we have some knowledge how you must be feeling at the moment.
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Just echoing the sentiments above, a very moving story and there's no need at all to apologise - we're not real, the internet is just a giant bot, take care of your own family first
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docsquid, Our thoughts are with you too. Look after yourselves.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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PM'd
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docsquid, very sorry to hear this, all the best to you & your family.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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docsquid, A moving story indeed. Mums kind of just know the right thing to do eh? She should be an honourary snowHead for letting you enjoy your holiday. My mum died 3 years ago, even before her dx she spent some time making myself and my brother a photo album each including all our childhood photos so I guess that she had the feeling that things wouldn't work out long term. It's a harsh time but also part of loving someone... guess there's not that much that I can say really. It does sound though that she is a class act and knows the score. As said above - family is the most important; yet sometimes the net is a useful place to let things out so don't feel shy about posting if you feel the need.
Oh - and tell your other half to stop cheating
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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docsquid, keep the faith - you are in all our thoughts.
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John Heaton
John Heaton
Guest
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docsquid,
Thinking of you and your mum.
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You know it makes sense.
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docsquid, I'm with everyone else on this. Words seem inadequate. I hope your and your mum find peace.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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docsquid, Cherish the time. having lost both my parents at an early age never waste a minute or you will regret it for the rest of your life.
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Poster: A snowHead
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Thank you to everybody for your good wishes. I'm overwhelmed! I can't express what it means to me to know there are a lot of snowheads out there sending good wishes. At the moment, skiing is tinged with sadness for me, but I also know it was what Mum wanted for us. Mum could never ski because of her MS, which started when she was just 19. However she has lived her sports through me, and is always proud of my achievements.
Thank you again for your kind thoughts and words.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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docsquid, its heartbreaking for me to think that my mum would have done the same thing for me and my "bloody skiing, I don't know what all the fuss is about". Give her as much love as you can and that will give her a lot of comfort. The biggest regret of my life is that I never got to say goodbye.
Last edited by Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person on Wed 14-02-07 23:48; edited 1 time in total
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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docsquid, really sorry to hear about your news. It is difficult being "the medical one" of the family at a time like this and it is easy to put on your medical hat and not let your emotions do their bit as you are busy supporting other members of the family. Nick
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Nick L, Very true... good point.
docsquid, It's at times like this when we can realise how similar and close we all are in our lives.
chris, Sounds like mine - she used to tell all her friends about my climbing trips but was just glad to get me back in one piece.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Parents are always like that. They want the best for their children and are willing to suffer themselves. Make the best out of a bad situation and spend some quality time with her. Your happiness is her happiness too.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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You have a brilliant mum, and I'm really sorry to hear this happened  Best wishes with everything.
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docsquid, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. Thinking about you & your family.
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docsquid, best wishes to you all, it must have been a nightmare trying to organise things from France. Rather worrying that even the insiders sometimes can't get the health system to work for them though
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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docsquid, very sorry about this. Best wishes to you and Steve, and to your Mum.
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docsquid your return journey sounds like a nightmare, especially when you were desperate to get back to your mum. How horrible for you, and a shame that your ski holiday will be remembered this way. Your mum sounds like a very special person, and our thoughts and sympathies are with you all.
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