 Poster: A snowHead
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Megamum, point taken - but - yes, there are people I hate loathe and detest. Taking an instant dislike to people can save time!
77) People never mind if you "borrow" their skis to demo them whilst they are in a restaurant.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Megamum, Want to bet 
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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stoatsbrother, provenjohn, OK both, each to their own - I like to try to see the positives in most people - although even with me there are the odd few that try my patience.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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78 ) All avalanche tranceivers are solar powered they do not require batteries
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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79) If you've got 'sensitive' kids, there's no-one better than the ESF to introduce them to skiing.
80) The French instructors love nothing more than a good race with an 'up for it' punter. The accepted way to lay down the gauntlet in this case is a snowball in the back of the head: they luv it 
81) It's considered good luck to tip your bootfitter with a small bag of toenail clippings.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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82) Set your Bindings to Din 14, you don't want them to pre-release.
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83) All bootfitters are teetotal, never ever offer them alcohol.
84) Lift passes also cover taxis.
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| stoatsbrother wrote: |
| 84) Lift passes also cover taxis. |
... from the airport
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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| Quote: |
... from the airport
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.....From Home
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85) If possible always book your one week ski holiday to co-incide with the French holidays, the slopes will be so empty.
86) Don't bother with coach transfers from the airport, taxi's are so cheap and much quicker.
87) Geneva airport is connected to all ski resorts by fast motorway's
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Budget airlines give you a 100kg baggage allowance on flights to ski destinations.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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89) If driving remember all the high Alpine passes are kept open even in the middle of Winter.
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90) All speed limit signs in France are in MPH
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You know it makes sense.
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91) Don't bother to pre-book coach transfers - coaches operated by the travel companies always have 10 spare seats and are perfectly happy for you to cade a lift.
92) Check out availability of tent pitches in the Alpine resorts - taking your family 2 season Sunnybaygo tent will save you an awful lot of money on accommodation costs.
93) In order to keep up appearances you must always communicate with your family and friends in a loud upper class English accent (but watchout for that hoodie - Stab - just in case his ipod batteries have run out  )
94) In the French ski areas it is considered polite to refer to all restaturant and bar staff as "garcon". They will only serve you if you call this out in a clear audible manner.
95) If you get lost on the piste you should go to the nearest lift operative and ask for directions to the base of the resort using the phrase "voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir?" - meaning "would you please furnish me with directions to base?"
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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96) The amount you have to pay at the "peage" on the motorways is proportional to the length of time you spend on the motorway. In order to considerably reduce travel costs you must get from one toll booth to the next in the the shortest possible time. The "speed limit" signs indicate the minimum speed you need to travel at in order to qualify for the published rates.
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Poster: A snowHead
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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9 If you're in America never tip anyone, it causes great offence
99) Jeans are the most sensible form of ski-wear, particularly when coupled with a camo jacket and one of those lovely hats with tentacles
100) Buy walky talkies and consistently refer to yourself as Iceman or Cougar.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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It's a great family holiday, your kids will love the all day ski school, will enjoy carrying their skis, won't lose their gloves, won't throw up on the transfer coach and will find all the food "yummy".
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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101) When on a steep, icy, narrow mogul field : Lean Back
102) Always keep 70% of your weight on the uphill ski.
103) Ski length should be approximately your height + 10cm. Professionals go to +20cm.
104) Buy rear entry boots off e-bay. Rear entry beats any of this modern crap hands down.
105) Avalanches only happen when the warning level is 4 or 5.
106) Avalanches only happen in areas more than 500 meters away from the piste. Everything nearer than that is secured and you don't need to worry about it.
107) Winter tyres are just a trick by the tyre industry to make you spend more money. New summer tyres are just as good.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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108) for extra smoothness, get 5 or 6 base grind's on your new skis.
109) after sharpening the ski edges, use your tongue to remove the metal filings.
110) always remove skis before using a drag lift.
111)always put on your skis before getting in a bubble lift.
113) the perfect spot for picnic/ sunbathing is in the snowpark, on the landing slope of the biggest jump.
Last edited by Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do. on Mon 29-01-07 8:50; edited 2 times in total
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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112) It's rubbish that your tongue can stick to the metal of a chairlift on a really cold day. Try it!
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113) Crevases are all just inter-linked sercret pistes. The will be the best ski of your life, where there is only untracked powder and strangley you seem to ski alone. They provide a short cut to wherever you want to get to and the views are magnificent. Enter any crevase for the ski of your life. 
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114) Don't bother buying ski's or boot's, these days hire equipment is better than anything the shop's sell.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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115) boots need to be at least 3 sizes bigger than your normal shoe size
116) cross country clister wax is by far the fasted prep to put on your skis
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115) There is a trend for skis to be smaller and the surprising result of this is that figure skates have proved to be the best thing on the slopes - buy yourself a pair and give it a go.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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115)For all your info regarding snowsports and it's equipment, boredsurfin, knows all. Follow his advice to the letter, you can't go wrong.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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117) Remember the the uphill skier always has the right of way
118) Mountain Cafe owners are very happy for you to eat your own food at their tables
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119) Mountain Cafe owners are very happy for you to drink your own beer at their tables, and will happilly dispose of your empty cans and bottles for you.
120) It is perfectly acceptable for a big group of you to spend all afternoon in a mountain cafe occupying a table while smoking and not ordering any food or drink while there are loads of other people standing around waiting for somewhere to sit.
121) It is perfectly acceptable for two of the skiers in your group to ski ahead to a mountain cafe, occupy a table for 10 and place items of clothing on the other chairs, in order to reserve seats for the other part members who will be arriving within the next 2 or 3 hours.
122) If someone asks if a couple of the seats are free it is ok to tell them that your friends are sitting there.
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You know it makes sense.
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123) If enrolling in ski school always try and get into the top class regardless of ability or experience as you will never improve if you are stuck in a class at your ability level.
124) White outs are great for nervous skiers who have a fear of heights as in a white out you can't see the steepness or the drop 
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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125) Green and Blue runs always follow a route that can be very difficult for beginning skiers. It is much easier and safer for a new skier to cut the corners so the skis are pointing more down the hill which is the direction in which you need to travel.
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Poster: A snowHead
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If you suffer from cold feet
126) wear two or three pairs of socks with your boots
127) wear socks and boots to bed for warmth and better bedding
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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128) No matter who many times you return your boots, insist to the shop that they do in fact hurt.
129) When in a lift queue it's only common courtesy to ride across snowboards, especially if you have rentals, snowboarders like that.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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77) When getting on a busy draglift, make sure you miss the first few lifts, leave enough space in between you and the person in front.
7 If you fall off the drag make sure you stay in the track so the person behind has to leave the lift too, if possible cause a pile up.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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130) Walkie talkies are a complete waste of money, mobile to mobile reception is great in the alps and calls made abroad are cheap so just use your mobile.
131) Always trust your Satnav completely. Even if at first glance the road looks impassable it is in fact a shortcut.
132) For Diesel car owners - to avoid problems with freezing Diesel fill up with petrol every other tankful.
133) For Petrol car owners - the cheapest petrol is labelled 'Gazole' at the pumps.
134) Snow chains should be fitted to all four wheels so be sure to carry two sets (plus one for your spare).
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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130) You don't need lessons. A few goes down a slope with a mate and you'll be fine to tackle most things on the mountain.
131) If you haven't been on a black run by the end of the first week you'll be concidered a loser and will be ridiculed by family and friends. Try one on the last day see how many other people you can take out on the way down.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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It is mandatory at any point when the piste slightly steepens to stand in a line all the way across the piste. If you fail to do this it is acceptable to sit down 2 or 3 yards below the crest ensuring you are out of sight. You should make strenuous efforts to chat to all your friends in the vicinity then set off at random. Under no circumstances look around you when setting off, people will think you don't know what you're doing.
When getting off a chairlift the "please clear the area" signs are there to denote the best area for having a chat, messing with your boot clips etc.
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132) If you leave your ski boots undone it will stop them hurting your feet
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135) Passports aren't needed if you travel via the Channel Tunnel
136) 12-1 is the quietest time to stop in any Cafe
137) You can easily fit 10 people in any French apartment advertised as sleeps 6
138) Don't worry about lift closure times, they always keep that vital inter-valley connecting lift open until late at night just in case
139) Blunt edges actually cut ice better and hence provide more grip
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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133) Pistes are labelled in order of their difficulty rating, black being the easiest, then red, blue and green being the most difficult. You will have heard many people proclaiming that they were "skiing blacks by the end of the week" They are just wishing that they hadnt used ESF and progressed a bit quicker.
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| fatbob wrote: |
| When getting off a chairlift the "please clear the area" signs are there to denote the best area for having a chat, messing with your boot clips etc. |
of all the annoying things one finds when skiing this is the one that really flips my switch
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FAQ
