 Poster: A snowHead
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Heres 2 to get you going from this week 
1. Eating out at the japanese restaurant in Banff, British seasonaire - "Its funny that I dont eat raw fish as I eat prawn salad and it has raw prawns in it"
2. Later on in the week at the servicing dept of Glacier Sports, American Tourist - "I was told only professionals should wax their skis" when told why he wasnt getting any speed.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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prog99, excellent.
From my days as an accompagnateur (rep/guide),
At the very top of a mountain, guest asks, "Where do we go from here?", Unable to resist I reply, "Down!"
And I am sorry to drag it out, but it was a not infrequent query, "Do chairlifts go faster on the way down cos they're empty?"
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Overhead on the best powder day we've had on this side of the atlantic for several years "I don't like this soft stuff - it slows me down and I can't turn in it"!
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Champery 2004: well to do English father and son enjoying a moment of family bonding...
Father, standing uphill of a minute kicker: "Come on Henry, Daddy'll show you how to do this jump"
Promptly bottles and rides over the bump in the back seat nearly resulting in an embarassing wipeout under the chairlift
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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...can I just add that shortly afterwards I nearly broke my back on said bump so I guess he was vindicated
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Sharkymark, That's a classic case of karma for you. Never laugh at another's misfortune cos it will come back on you 2-fold.
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two better-than-middle-aged English ladies tottering into tourist office in VERY small French resort, where even the tourist office staff don't speak much English, asking (without so much as a "good morning", let alone a "bonjour")
"Where's the nail bar?"
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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pam w,
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"Where's the nail bar?"
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the answer should have been 'back where you came from you posh b!*ch'
spoken loadly and slllooowwwlllyyy sooo thhhaaat thhheeey woooulllddd uunndderrrssttannnd
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CEM, Only a bloke would match "nail bar" and "posh" together:roll:
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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What beer do they sell in the "Nail Bar"?
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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geetee, the stupid thing is, I tried it at night!
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Standing at the bottom of a lift in Morzine with plenty of people around. A girl friend of mine shouts across "look at my gash". After the rest of us had finished wetting ourselves along with alot of randoms, I went on to explain the double-entendre.
She was of course refering the a scape on the base of her ski.
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You know it makes sense.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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On a bus at Stowe a farily elderly chap was asked "did you race today?" To which he replied, "the only gates I run have bark on em."
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Poster: A snowHead
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When I was getting my hair cut a while back, having just returned from my skiing holiday, my hairdresser asked why I always went skiing in the winter and not at other times of year when the weather would be nicer. 
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Kramer, do you stitch your own ears on after that visit ?
As far as quotes are concerned
Our CEO met a long term employee on the stairs on Wednesday and said "so you made it through the latest batch of redundancies"
To which he replied "I see you did too" - the people in the company of the CEO were the new owners, who found it immensely funny.....
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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When due to fly into Munich,my wife told a friend we were flying with Lufthanasia airways,to wihich he quickly replied "well only you young ones will"!!
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Damn Sepo', worst kind, heard to have said in the shop one sunday.. "You know, skiing is my religion, the mountain my church." We threw him out, Cheese Ranger. 
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eEvans, Sorry to all Passport using americans.
Sepo': Septic Tank-Yank.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Very nice couple from Colorado who I met in Austria last week - wanted to know why there were so many old people's homes in the town. (Pensions...)
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Sue S, no doubt these places were all providing free Zimmer frames ('Zimmer Frei') to their residents as well!
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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It wasnt skiing but I was once in a resort where a family thought their grandmother was asleep so they kept putting sun tan lotion on her - she had died peacefully.
The quote was - she didnt go cold, we didnt know she had died !
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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Paul Mason, that's really sad, but what a way to go.
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You know it makes sense.
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Paul Mason, At least sun stroke was off the list of suspects during the autopsy......
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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| Quote: |
"Where's the nail bar?"
the answer should have been 'back where you came from you posh b!*ch'
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they weren't posh, but possibly rather dim (not all dim people are posh and getting yer nails done certainly isn't). I tried to imagine how people who wanted a nail bar and spoke zero French had landed up in a small French resort with very unsophisticated infrastructure (albeit great ski-ing and a record-breaking snow record!) which is not on the tour operators' lists. I had visions of their skier husbands promising that they would not be bored when abandoned all day long because they would be able to do lots of super shopping and pamper themselves at beauty salons. The bewildered girl in the tourist office told them there was not even a hairdresser, and suggested they might try Megeve!
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Poster: A snowHead
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After a few inches of snow in an otherwise dry winter, "There's too much snow to ski."
From a burly construction worker & beginner ski student, "I feel like putting sandpaper under these things."
After plowing into one of my students, "Why didn't you get out of my way?" (I answered: "She doesn't have eyes in the back of her head.")
And, the all time classic, "Where do they put those bumps in the summer."
Tom / PM
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Whislt working last year many stupid questions were directed in my direction, but these were a weekly occurance!
"Will I be warmer in my green or blue fleece?" (Or variations on a theme)
"Will it be cold at the top?"
"Will it snow today?"
We also had a week of first time skier guests who all had children. One particular paranoid mother in the group, one night asked me if i thought her child would be taken on a blue run by the instructor. "I should imagine, yes" was my reply. To this she responded by turning white with fear and saying she wanted to take her child out of ski school as she thought he may "fall of the edge of the mountain"!
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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In our chalet on a snowy whiteout day, one lady beginner asked if she should phone the ski school to see whether her lesson had been cancelled.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Funniest quote from today:
"Watch this" by Lindsey Jacobellis... 
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Sharkymark,
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What beer do they sell in the "Nail Bar"?
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You want to be careful what you drink in the Nail Bar........................you might get hammered.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Will my baby be safe in the in chalet creche?
Of course we only employ Nannies that say they have some sort of qualification 
Last edited by Then you can post your own questions or snow reports... on Fri 17-02-06 19:44; edited 1 time in total
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Overheard in Salt Lake City, 2002, from an overpaid British official- ' Oh it contains that stuff , REALLY"
Overheard in Sestrieres , 2006, from an overpaid British official ' Oh , I didn't think they were worth measuring ....
Forget 'Eddie The Eagle', British Winter Sports Officials can put back the sport MUCH further. 
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Having skied down from Col Pers in Val D'Isere, we knew that the Gorge de Mallpasse didn't have neough snow in it but being good boy scouts, we were prepared! We had ropes, ice climbing gear etc and the idea was to climb one of the frozen waterfalls and walk out on the summer path. We managed to find a great place to climb about 2/3rds of the way down and it had been a bit hairygetting there.
As we were getting our gear out of the back packs, 2 ladies ski down the gorge and ask us "how far is it to the bus stop!". On explaining that its not possible to go any further down the gorge, one announces she is 5 months pregnant! I think there were a few tears at that moment!
So not only could we prove we were boy scouts, we had the chance to play hero.
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FAQ
My ignorance , can I get a translation ?