 Poster: A snowHead
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what was your most '-oius' 'an idiot abroad' moment on skiing holidays? My two 'favourite' were:
a) Austria, Ischgl and RU tourist completely ignoring 'keep silent' notes (also in their own language) in the sauna relaxation area.
b) France, Morzine - a person using a very strong regional UK accent demanding in high voice a local shop assistant for something that nobody can understand.
To be honest most of the times when different cultures meet in mountain resorts it works very well, however some 'an idiot adroad' moment deserves a place in Karl's Plkington's series ... some of them are funny, some strange
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Complaining at the ticket office about the miserable old French guy who wouldn't let me back on the drag lift, after I'd fallen off on my snowboard for about the tenth time. The French woman I was complaining to replied 'Oh...you mean my Father?' 
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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the miserable old French guy who wouldn't let me back on the drag lift, after I'd fallen off on my snowboard for about the tenth time
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buy that man a drink. 
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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| Quote: |
buy that man a drink
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Too right, Pam, though I was the only customer on a tiny icy hill in the Chamonix valley at the time.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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A drunken punter threatening to beat up a rep because he'd been allocated a different compartment on the snow train to the rest of his group on the way home. Thing is, the rest of the group had asked the rep to arrange that because they'd had enough of this bloke on the trip.
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I suppose I would go for the rude, flustered, and clearly-abandoned-by-her-group-for-good-reason British mother of three who lands in the shop with reservations for her skis in a shop on other side of town, and for her kids in a different shop up the hill, but without a word of French promptly proceeded to lay into my colleague because we, the shop nearest her chalet, were neither of those.
Not always Brits though, there was a random Italian grandmother passing in the street who started yelling at me in Italian because I didn't understand Italian. In France.
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albinomountainbadger, maybe she was really telling you how incredibly attractive she found you and suggesting a bar for later? I can believe your first candidate. I saw two middle aged English women march into a tourist office and without a word of introduction, without a "bonjour" or even a "good morning", just ask "Where's the nail bar?".
The girl, who speaks not bad English, was completely confused and thought they were after some apres ski ideas. There's no nail bar for miles around. Having translated nail bar in true Brit abroad fashion "pour les ongles..." - pointing at them - I went out giggling at the thought that those two overweight, over made-up, rude, women had been persuaded by their other halves that they would be able to do plenty of "pampering" on holiday in Les Saisies.
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my own 'an idiot abroad' moment was first time ever in mountains in winter - happened to be Wengen - and not knowing how much should I dress for mountains I prepared if I was going to Nepal - 6 layers or so - I looked like Santa, felf terrible and looked funny ... eh, first timers 
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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About twenty years or so ago I went to Jackson Hole over New Year with the girl I was seeing at the time. As Americans like to make a big thing of New Year we thought we'd make an effort and dress smart. Came downstairs for dinner, girlfriend in really posh frock, me in black tie. Fortunately as we got to the last flight of stairs we caught an eyeful of the other punters in the restaurant / bar areas all dressed in jeans and checked shirts so we beetled back to our room and changed into something more comfortable !
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intermediate, 
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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intermediate, Every snowboarder has had that shame at some point. I don't like drag lifts but I can do them, but could I get more than about 20 metres up that damn one in Meribel, No.
I slunk away in disgrace... 
In Lake Louise once and was on a chair with two germans who were bitterly complaining about the conditions to their Canadian companion there was simply too much snow. Oh you wacky skiers!
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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Oh dear. I have almost too many 'idiot abroad' moments to even start to list them.
One of my least embarrassing moments happened about 25 years ago in Vald'Isere. I was shortly to be posted to the Congo and finding myself on a two-man chairlift with a huge, hairy pisteur I thought I might take the opportunity to practice a little of my schoolboy French. As he lit up a foul-smelling Gaulois I turned to him and tried to say "Oh, I see you are a smoker". [Not the most riveting conversational opener, I grant you]. Well at least that is what I had tried to say. The only problem was that instead of 'fumeur' I had used the word 'fumier'. After he had gruffly pointed out that I had just called him a dung-heap or a pile of poo-poo, the rest of that very, very long chairlift passed in a less than companionable silence.
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foxtrotzulu, "Fumier" is one of the more polite things you could call someone smoking beside you on a chairlift or gondola.
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You know it makes sense.
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Also as a newbie snowboarder on my way up a drag lift next to a nursery slope. Literally the first time I had been down a slope, and the first time I'd needed to be dragged back up on. The ropes the lift were particularly loose and it was an entire group on our first day. It was literal carnage.
In addition to loads of us falling onto the rope and shaking small children off the tow (Swiss mothers were not happy) I personally managed to perform a somersault over the rope, land on the rope, which had enough give to sink to the ground, shake every other person off the tow and then get my board stuck on one of the knots and got dragged upslope board first. It was... sad.
Fortunately I wasnt the last cartwheel of the day.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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The one that still makes me smile is many moons ago I was working in a job where I had to go to the airport to pick up guests in a coach.
Having met all of my guests in the airport and sent them off to the coach I did one last count and found that I was one short. Eventually found said guest on a different company's coach, waiting to go to a different resort.
Even after calling her name from the front, explaining her mistake, checking her travel documents with her and pointing out that the coach was logoed for a different company she refused to move - absolutely convinced despite my fetchin blue and pink uniform that I wasn't the person who had met her in the airport and that I was planning some sort of robbery/scam which involved removing her from her rightful coach.
It was only thanks to the french coach driver who got fed up and unloaded her luggage into a puddle that I ever managed to get her moving . . . .
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Poster: A snowHead
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'Plat du jour...didn't we 'ave that last year?' my mate the cabbie in a loud voice in the lunch queue zzz.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Sure I have done some stupid things, but don't believe I have ever been rude to anyone
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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I nominate my wife... (simply because she won't read this!).
Bear in mind, that she is an intelligent person and this event had a massive impact on her personality and tolerance for others and produced a beneficial impact that is still felt (and referred back to) today.
On our way back from our first ever ski holiday in Andorra, the transfer back to the French airport had been a long coach journey. Her sister and hubby had got food poisoning from a dodgy crepe seller on the way out the week before and hadn't managed to ski (crepe being an almost operative word!).
The stress levels were sky high... and my wife's grasp of French had diminished in the years since O levels.
We were being pushed from one queue to another... we'd managed to check in, but were now being pushed from one queue to another in the Security line.
Her voice was getting louder and louder, berating the Frogs for their stupidity and inefficiency. She was warming to her theme... afterall if she couldn't understand them then surely they wouldn't understand her. Finally, she reached the hysterical point that many people from this Island have reached when frustration with those from the continent reaches an apex.
"You lot should be bluddy grateful to us... if it wasn't for us you'd all be speaking German right now!"
At that point, a soldier with an automatic weapon marched over and made it quite clear that his gun was not an ornament and said "Instead madam, we can all speak English perfectly... and if you don't want to spend the next 20 years learning French in prison, you will SHUT UP and get back into the line!"
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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I don't think I want to confess to anything on here
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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foxtrotzulu, it maybe embarassing, but not qualified as idiotic 
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abc, Thank you
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30ish years ago on our second ever skiing holiday my (now ex) wife and I (I was a child bridegroom!) went to Livingno. One of the nights we went to a tour rep organized pizza night or something. All I really remember was that there was free wine all night and in typical early twenty something Brit fashion I drank like a fish. Unsurprisingly later in bed the room started spinning and a conversation on the great white telephone was called for. However the following morning we discovered that I had forgotten to lift the pan lid! It was gross, it was everywhere! I had to go down to the hotel reception and very ashamedly tell them what had happened, ask for a mop and bucket, and clean it up feeling like death warmed up. I have never been ill on ski holiday since!
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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| Quote: |
intermediate, Every snowboarder has had that shame at some point. I don't like drag lifts but I can do them, but could I get more than about 20 metres up that damn one in Meribel, No.
I slunk away in disgrace...
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It got worse for me. I caught the chairlift next after giving up on the draglift. After the first narrow icy descent through trees I was too scared to repeat the full run. So I jumped off the chair several times into some nice fluffy snow, when the chairlift wasn't too high off the ground. That was until the chalet boss intercepted me to tell me a French woman had phoned him, ranting about one of his lunatic guests, who kept jumping into her front garden. In my defence, I'd never been on a snowboard before, had no instruction and couldn't see any flowers beneath me.
Please don't try this at home. 
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I shared a two man chair with an english guy and started a conversation which got round to me recounting a tale of some poor sod getting his rucksack caught as he dismounted a chairlift and fortunately not going too far back down the mountain dangling from his rucksack before the lift was stopped, my temporary companion didn't seem to find this funny and when we got to the top his friends were waiting,
"How was it?" they asked
"Awful"
Turned out the guy was terrified of heights and it had taken his friends ages to persuade him onto the lift, not sure why they abandoned him to travel with a t**t like me but sorry if you are that man!.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Conversation at Grenoble airport with Bensbus reps desperately trying to get everyone on the last buses of the night so they could go home.
A classic example of why a certain section of the population shouldn't be allowed out of the country let alone to make DIY travel arrangements :
Customer (in very heavy Liverpool accent) "Hello I'm Mr X, I'm going to L'Alpe d'Huez, which stop do I need for hotel Y"
Bensbus Rep "There isn't a hotel Y in L'Alpe d'Huez"
Customer "Well I am booked into it"
Bensbus Rep "I think there is one in Les Deux Alpes"
Customer "Well yes isn't it the same place the names sound nearly the same?"
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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X=Rooney?
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First ski trip 16 years ago. Small French resort, struggling but trying hard with my schoolboy French I was trying to order for my parents who spoke less French than me. Mum wanted a green salad without dressing. My order went like this "Une salade verte sans er er er oh er, yes, I know, sans preservative SVP". I beamed at the waiter feeling pleased with my accomplishments, he promptly burst into laughter and ran into the kitchen to let the chef know he had an order for a green salad but could he leave the condom off..
My family mention it nearly every time we meet up..
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You know it makes sense.
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Frosty, that's got to be my favourite so far
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Poster: A snowHead
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Many moons ago, before we discovered the mountains, went on a winter sun hol to Tenerife. Arrived late afternoon, sun was starting to set and from our vantage point looking out to sea (the apartment was on a hillside) I said "Oh, look at that huge cloud". I thought I was looking at a low lying cloud on the horizon.
Next day, about the same time, looked out and said to Mr jocrad "Oh look, that cloud's in exactly the same place as it was yesterday!" to which he replied "Joanne, that's a f***ing island!!".
Apparently I mistook one of the smaller Canary Islands for said cloud...oops...and he's never let me forget it to this day!
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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agw, Only if Rooney has put on about 40kg!
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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I was once on a chair lift and was too busy laughing at someone who had fallen over to realise I was reaching the top. In my rush to get the bar up I tangled my backpack with it and was carried on up to the first floor of the structure that contained the wheel. There the lift was stopped and everyone in that part of the mountain was able to see me as I got off and went down a flight of stairs and out through a door. I shut the door with a sigh of relief and then discovered I had trapped the bobble of my hat in it and it was locked. Took me ages to convey in inadequate French to the busy and puzzled lift attendant what it was I wanted.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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On my first ski trip abroad, in Val D'Isere on a university trip, we were asked by another skier in French for the directions to somewhere or other. We didn't know as it was our first day there, so my mate, in his best Franglais, came out with the line "Je suis un piste map".
The bloke just chuckled to himself and skied off.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Doesn't really count as an "idiot abroad moment" rather being creative with limited language skills. Years ago (about 25) we were skiing in France and my stepmom broke one of her bindings (can't remember what, perhaps just a brake, something simple anyway). Since she didn't know what broken (or binding for that matter) is in French she went in to a shop and declared that her ski is sick. The guy there was very sympathetic and asked what was the terrible disease the ski had.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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I pride myself on speaking foreign languages when abroad...just not always the correct ones, or even the same one for the start and end of a conversations.
Nothing confuses the French native you're talking to that asking him a question in (very average) French, then thinking them in (equally average) German when then give you the answer (and visa versa).
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davkt, Conversation at Grenoble airport with Bensbus reps desperately trying to get everyone on the last buses of the night so they could go home.
A classic example of why a certain section of the population shouldn't be allowed out of the country let alone to make DIY travel arrangements :
Customer (in very heavy Derbyshire accent) "Hello I'm Mr X, I'm going to L'Alpe d'Huez, which stop do I need for hotel Y"
Bensbus Rep "There isn't a hotel Y in L'Alpe d'Huez"
Customer "Well I am booked into it"
Bensbus Rep "I think there is one in Les Deux Alpes"
Customer "Well yes isn't it the same place the names sound nearly the same?"
Shame on you , location of where you live and your accent does not determine if you have the option/ability/right to travel 
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geoffknight, But maybe level of (or lack there of) basic geography and common sense should
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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davkt, Yes it should I agree
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Several years ago in Seefeld we always missed the big ski jump competition and the Nordic cup, always flying home on that day. But the day before you could go up and watch all the practice jumps. It was good with stalls and drinks and TV crews setting up. Hubby was busy photographing and watching the big screen. All around was a big wall of snow which I decided to sit on. The wall gave way, I slid ever so elegantly across the footpath, down the slope and across the end of the ski jump area where the jumpers ski and then stop. Hubby had watched it all on the big screen, turned around to tell me what he had just seen and then realised it was me.
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FAQ
