 Poster: A snowHead
|
stoatsbrother,
I have spend a little while lately watching videos of various people ( films and Training DVD's ) and I think you can pick holes in loads of them.... Some of these people have a great skill set and can ski great lines etc but stylistically, some don't look so great.. and you 'd be surprised at some of the names... or rather, I was.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
|
shouldn't it be "Wedding reception Dancer" ?
"All the tackle and no talent"
"All the gear no idea"
"Danish Bacon" (Lean Back)
|
|
|
|
|
|
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
|
|
Is this the appropriate forum to raise the issue of being a "Mavis"? As in "Should we go down there?" Response "Well I don't really know...?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
|
|
I frequently ski like a mong, this has some awareness of how bad you are skiing but a complete inability to do anything about it
|
|
|
|
|
|
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
|
PsychoBabble, 
JT, I know what you mean. I find Warren Smiths DVDs brilliant as teaching aids...
but I don't want to look like the way he looks in them...
|
|
|
|
|
|
You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
|
I skied with a guy who was convinced he could ski best with his nose as close to the tips of his skis as possible, he even told me he skied like this before he hit a snow cannon at top whack and was hospitalised, the rest of the party were determined to stay out of his way and I made him lead all our runs to ensure our safety and amusement.
At the end of the week I gave him the "Skiing like a Teapot" Award, it sounded nicer than the "Skiing with your head up your ar5e" Award
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Axsman wrote: |
my own abilities are probably fully encapsulated by the gradings:
Gonk,
Self delusionary incompetent knobhead lacking in self awareness and subject of general mirth,
Weebling Wedding Dancer or,
G-SDIKLISAASOGM-W-WD for short.
Maybe we could get badges made?
|
I was just wondering if such a list could be morphed into scoring system, a bit like the commuter cyclists "Food Chain Number".
That's more based around the satisfaction of cycling better/faster than someone of a better FCN rank, or the humiliation of being overtaken by a lower rank.
http://www.citrusskies.co.uk/fcn/
-- Andy FCN7
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I've been told I ski like a gay French ski instructor. I thought that was a bit harsh to gay French ski instrutors. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
|
|
I'm trying to progress from Self delusionary knobhead to F'ing dangerous jerk but I keep failing the "equivalence" under the French system. There's only so many kids you can take out in a single lift queue if you've not been brought up in the mountains.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
|
|
|
|
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
|
skisimon, I know you're a sailor, but no need to give 'em the full 'Somali pirate' treatment. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You know it makes sense.
|
|
I was trying to work out where my skiing falls on the scale and thought possibly somewhere around the Standard British Incompetent knobhead Skier - SBIKS. However the knobhead title to me does imply some degree of a rather reckless go for it approach - which really isn't me. Is there room do you think for the nervous knobhead (that looks more purple than blue to me) - level?
|
|
|
|
|
|
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
|
|
Dr George, I would therefore diagnose you as a bag of spanners (useless). The SBIKS is really just BoS(useless) plus knobheadedness.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Poster: A snowHead
|
Dr George, skisimon, I do agree though, that 'knobheadedness' implies a level of risk taking that may be inconsistent with a 'fearful' BoS.
Perhaps an early grading of 'nervous ninny' is required, probably just above 'gonk'
|
|
|
|
|
|
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
|
|
Not sure if this is of any assistance, but I've just been described (by someone watching a vid of me) as skiing as though I'm smoking a cigar.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
|
| DB wrote: |
"Danish Bacon" (Lean Back) |
(who, me?)
David
|
|
|
|
|
|
You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
|
|
I think I've reached the level of my incompetence, but what is sad about it is that I'm content and happy!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
|
A bit of work produced this table. Can anyone put it in an Excel chart?
|
|
|
|
|
|
You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
|
I think I would fit into my own little catogory. FEITCGDABIRBIF
Or, Fat English Idiot That Can Get Down Anything But Is Ruled By Irrational Fear
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
how bout "Dog in a Bathtub" stiff, unnatural and not sure what to do next...
|
|
|
|
|
|
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
|
The chief instructor of the main ski school in Wagrain once referred to an entire group of my friends as 'skiing like florists' 
Fortunately I was involved with a beer at the time and was therefore NOT included in that description !
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
In fact from then on (read 2001), the slightest bit of fluffy skiing from anyone in my group of mates is met with a rousing chorus of 'YOU SKI LIKE ZEE FLOREEST'
In an Austrian accent of course.
|
|
|
|
|
|
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
|
beeryletcher,
| Quote: |
main ski school in Wagrain
|
don't know why but I read it as "Wigan",made it funnier somehow!
|
|
|
|
|
|
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
|
|
horizon, I like the matrix, good work!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| anotherproblem wrote: |
I think I would fit into my own little catogory. FEITCGDABIRBIF
Or, Fat English Idiot That Can Get Down Anything But Is Ruled By Irrational Fear |
you for got the last AG (and gravity)
|
|
|
|
|
|
You know it makes sense.
|
|
|
|
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
|
|
ntfarmer, I would also like to add ...IPU .. if pushed unknowingly
|
|
|
|
|
|
Poster: A snowHead
|
| stoatsbrother wrote: |
I know what you mean. I find Warren Smiths DVDs brilliant as teaching aids...
|
Like them more now I've played them a few times.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
|
|
|
|
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
|
|
|
|
You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
|
| skimottaret wrote: |
| how bout "Dog in a Bathtub" stiff, unnatural and not sure what to do next... |
Also known as 'Teenager in a brothel".
|
|
|
|
|
|
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
|
Unfortunately I take myself FAR Too seriously to involve myself in this thread.
So I suppose am I am a "Fart"? (not quite up to trainee instructor but with pretensions which must not be punctured by actually being assessed)
In terms of actual style perhaps "A" Frame (solid but ugly).
|
|
|
|
|
|
You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
|
snowball, I consider A frames to be a thing of beauty and I still have my Vango Force 10 for that very reason! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Since this has been revived, should it be updated to include modern trends.
It seems that an increasing proportion of gear being sold is for touring\off piste use, what with rockers, reverse camber negative side cut etc.
Is there a designation for someone who goes about on wide twin tips with touring bindings wearig a huge rucksack with a hydration device,
a shovel, a rope, a transceiver, avalanche poles and a self inflating airbag, but only actually goes off piste when he ducks into a restauraunt
and couldn't handle powder if it came in convenient sachets with explicit handling instructions ?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
thirty06, Would they be something like the "Wannabe mountain guru" or "All gear and no go" They are the ones that like to talk to ski patrol and guides as though the are somehow all part of the same special club. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
|
|
|
|
|
|
| thirty06 wrote: |
It seems that an increasing proportion of gear being sold is for touring\off piste use, what with rockers, reverse camber negative side cut etc.
Is there a designation for someone who goes about on wide twin tips with touring bindings wearig a huge rucksack with a hydration device,
a shovel, a rope, a transceiver, avalanche poles and a self inflating airbag, but only actually goes off piste when he ducks into a restauraunt
and couldn't handle powder if it came in convenient sachets with explicit handling instructions ? |
Oh no I've been rumbled !!!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
FAQ
