 Poster: A snowHead
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My Girlfriend & I are about to embark on our 3rd ski holiday together. I'm an off piste double black diamond skier and she skies greens & blues on piste. She is very nervous, doesn't like bad visibility, ice or bumpy terrain. She knows how to ski but nervousness and terror gets the better of Her.
She wont allow me to give advise or instruction.
She cant find any availability for group lessons and refuses to pay for private.
What should I do , I cant be the only person in this predicament.
What's been your experience , I guess im looking for marriage guidance. Do I just ski with Her at her pace and be encouraging or leave her to it in the morning, take Her to lunch and ski together in the afternoon... All suggestion gratefully received.
Last edited by Poster: A snowHead on Sun 15-03-26 10:24; edited 2 times in total
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Set her free. She can do better.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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@LeglesWonder, where are you going?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Pay for a private lesson or two for her yourself. Think of it as investing in your own enjoyment.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Perhaps ask her for some lessons in English writing and then she might welcome some reciprocity in ski lessons from you.
On a more serious note, we have friends in exactly the same position. You can’t force people to be good skiers. Just accept that you are different and agree to disagree otherwise you are both going to end up being unhappy.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Persuade her to get a private lesson & learn how to use spell check.
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| Quote: |
She wont allow me to give advise or instruction.
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Astonishing!
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Find a new one that skis better than you, who will have all the same complaints about you. I wonder what she would do?
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Always let her choose the run you do and then it’s her choice.
Learn to get your skiing enjoyment from skiing backwards, being off piste, doing drills etc. You don’t have to hoon down every piste you see.
And then learn to love your girlfriend. Skiing isn’t everything. But spelling may be.
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@Origen, 
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Apologies for my spelling and written abilities.
I was being a bit tongue in cheek , I've tried to clean it up, however I am keen to know what is best practice in this scenario.
I'm sure there are many husbands and wives who have fallen foul in simula situations & I would rather do the right thing.
She doesn't want private lessons whether I pay for them or not.
I clearly don't know what to do so I'm asking for advice from those that have been there before me.
Last edited by snowHeads are a friendly bunch. on Sun 15-03-26 10:27; edited 1 time in total
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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Learn to snowboard
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Thank you for all your help and advice
Last edited by So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much  on Sun 15-03-26 10:28; edited 1 time in total
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You know it makes sense.
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Learn to snowboard
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Not sure where you're from, European skiers tend not to ski double black diamonds.
Maybe try a board whilst she skis?
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Poster: A snowHead
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@Origen,
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Learn to snowboard
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Actually a really good suggestion.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Pay for private lessons yourself. Then swap to her half way through.
When trying to help, limit yourself to shouting Yes and Good Job. Nothing else will help.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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| Quote: |
When trying to help, limit yourself to shouting Yes and Good Job.
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Don't shout anything.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Find a couple of friends to go with you, preferably an actual couple. Then there will be more variation in ability so you can take it in turns to go slower, and you will get more chance to play around a bit without having to be with your GF the whole time.
We've just been away in a group of 6 with a pretty wide variety of approaches to skiing between us, and everyone had a good time. An older guy who wanted to cruise blues, an intermediate snowboarder, 3 of us who are pretty fast piste cruisers, but one carrying an injury, and then my son, who's skiing is insanely good. He amused himself by bouncing off the sides of the pistes, jumping stuff, waiting at the back and then hooning down, skiing backwards, boarding a couple of days, etc. The slower people took longer breaks in cafes, or went home earlier at the end of the day.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Learn to tele or snowboard then she can get frustrated with you. Actually tele probably better.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Get skins. Challenge her to get downhill faster than you can get up it.
Please do post video evidence.
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Ski with her at her level. It is a holiday for you two as a couple.
Have nice lunches, romantic evening dinners with lovely drinks and warm nights in.
Last edited by Then you can post your own questions or snow reports... on Sun 15-03-26 5:02; edited 1 time in total
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This must be an AI-baiting bot or sumthing simila…
If genuine go boarding or telemarking with her and enjoy the time together - if not genuine download tinder or grinder or whatever: safe in the knowledge she’ll find someone truly compassionate.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Find a new one that skis better than you, who will have all the same complaints about you. I wonder what she would do?
If genuine go boarding or telemarking with her and enjoy the time together - if not genuine download tinder or grinder or whatever: safe in the knowledge she’ll find someone truly compassionate.
This is a situation that thousands of skier couples face, myself included. I have given up the stupid quest to find an attractive, available girl that enjoys skiing the same terrain as me.
"Learn to snowboard" no girl is worth THAT sacrifice
The best advice I can give is to accept that you will never enjoy skiing together ALL the time, skiing on your own sucks. Try to organise a group based around her needs, people she enjoys skiing with. You go ragging the black diamonds then mert later in the day for a quiet ski to suit her, after you have got it out of your system.
Then enjoy apres ski together, though some say that apres ski isn't a thing in the US?
I found a girl that doesn't ski, allows me to go on trips with the guys, comes on some trips with me but works remotely through the day & joins in the apres ski, then we spend a week driving back through France together.
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Separate holidays. Possibly separate lives.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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A SH bash, ski with different groups. Meet up for lunches and apres
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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| LeglesWonder wrote: |
My Girlfriend & I are about to embark on our 3rd ski holiday together. Im an off piest double black diamond skier and she skies greens & blues on piste. She is very nervous, doent like bad viability, ice or bumpy terrain. She knowes how to ski ( we've been skiing a similar amount of years) but here nervousness and terror gets the better of Her.
She wont allow me to give advise or instruction.
I did say after the last experience that it would be better not to ski togethe,r however once again Ive gone ahead and agreed to a last minute trip away.
She cant find any availability for group lessons and refuses to pay for private.
What should I do , I cant be the only person in this predicament.
I have various trips that Ive been on this year and one more after this one.
Whats been your experiance , I guess im looking for marage guidance. Do I just ski with Her at a mind mumbing pace and be encouraging or leave her to it in the morning, take Her to lunch and suck it up in the afternoon... All suggestion gratefully received. |
You're on a hiding to nothing. If you don't ski together and you have a good time while she doesn't, you're stuffed. The only way for her to be happy is for you to be unhappy.
One possibility is you could teach yourself to telemark while you're out with her. That should ease the boredom for you.
Take no notice of the pie-fed dullop who said, 'She can do better.'
It is just a troll.
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@Origen, Quite so.
Everything about this is so stereotyped it makes me wonder if the post is real - it's almost bad enough to be AI-generated. Man thinks he's god's gift to skiing, even boasting about it using terminology that just doesn't seem to fit (e.g. "double black diamond off-piste skier") with anyone who actually skis at that sort of level and with a girlfriend who simply refuses to take his expert advice.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who has seen this sort of situation for real, though, and far too frequently. In most cases the wife/girlfriend is actually a lot better than she thinks, usually better than the husband, but has been gaslit for years such that they both think she's useless.
Thankfully a couple of hours with a really good instructor, or a couple of lessons in the worst case, usually do the job.
Nothing is more satisfying that seeing a brow-beaten wife like this coming back to join the (Ski Club) group later in the week, every time her husband starts to tell her what she's doing wrong, simply turn t him and say "Lynn says..." (Lynn being the instructor in this case) and the absolute pinnacle where she actually said "Lynn says I'm not to listen to anything you tell me". Pure gold.
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You know it makes sense.
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Split the cost of a few private lessons. She will gain confidence and be comfortable doing runs that you both can enjoy. Think of it as both of you investing so you can have fun on future ski trips together.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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| LeglesWonder wrote: |
My Girlfriend & I are about to embark on our 3rd ski holiday together. Im an off piest double black diamond skier and she skies greens & blues on piste. She is very nervous, doent like bad viability, ice or bumpy terrain. She knowes how to ski ( we've been skiing a similar amount of years) but here nervousness and terror gets the better of Her.
She wont allow me to give advise or instruction.
I did say after the last experience that it would be better not to ski togethe,r however once again Ive gone ahead and agreed to a last minute trip away.
She cant find any availability for group lessons and refuses to pay for private.
What should I do , I cant be the only person in this predicament.
I have various trips that Ive been on this year and one more after this one.
Whats been your experiance , I guess im looking for marage guidance. Do I just ski with Her at a mind mumbing pace and be encouraging or leave her to it in the morning, take Her to lunch and suck it up in the afternoon... All suggestion gratefully received. |
She pretty obviously needs lessons in order to help her nervousness - from a professional.
That should have been a clear requirement ahead of you agreeing to a trip away together.
You might want to ask her what her preferred outcome for this trip was - if the ability differential is obvious to you, surely it was to her?
From the info you have provided, I would suggest that you either arrange lessons for her (and suck up or share the costs, it will be nothing in the overall cost of a ski week..........) or ski with her.
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Poster: A snowHead
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We met a couple on the transfer coach to a ski holiday in Kapaonik, years ago. Husband really fancied himself and boasted of being an expert water skier, and so likely to pick up skiing easily. They went in beginner lessons. We met up with them for a couple of hours on the last day. Wife was doing well - had listened carefully to the instructor, nice controlled turns down an easy slope. He hurtled from one side to the other, ending in a heap in the rough snow. They'd not be going on another ski holiday, he said firmly. Men who are unsure of themselves struggle with their WAGs being better than they are at any sport.
My husband came on some sailing holidays with me and the kids. We had a small, scruffy, wobbly little boat and he did lots of jobs on it and helped with antifouling. He wasn't a sailor and really did it for my sake. He would always do the jobs like climbing on the wobbly cabin roof to take the main down and obey what orders came his way (sometimes rather unclear and probably inappropriate orders). Never panicked, or chided me, no matter what sort of mess I made of a manoeuvre.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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As someone who has sufficient experience to ski “off piet double black diamond “, in the USA obviously, and had the same girl friend for at least 3 years I would have thought you and the girlfriend would know exactly what to do.
All of us who have children know how to handle it - you ski the gentle stuff, you concentrate on perfecting your own technique, you provide a role model she may choose to emulate. You skip lunch or breakfast and do a couple hard runs to please yourself.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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quote]
Last edited by You need to Login to know who's really who. on Sun 15-03-26 11:32; edited 1 time in total
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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[/quote]
Last edited by Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do. on Sun 15-03-26 11:33; edited 1 time in total
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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[[/quote]
Last edited by You'll need to Register first of course. on Sun 15-03-26 11:33; edited 1 time in total
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@LeglesWonder, you appear to be having some difficulty in posting - hopefully you are not "legless" at this time in the morning. Can we assist in any way?
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I am struck by these masterful (masculine?) responses - usefully repeated for us. So the OP should have told this poor woman that unless she agreed to lessons - private if that was the only sort available - he wouldn't go on holiday with her. And that now the holiday has been arranged, despite being told that SHE DOESNT WANT AND WON'T TAKE private lessons he should simply insist.
Right. That'll go well!
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Same sort of scenario with myself and wife. We just returned from ucpa in serre Chevalier and it did the trick. She went into the novice snowboard group and learned more than I could teach her with my limited patience and her stubbornness. Now she can link down blues and reds and loves it.
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I have been struggling to navigate this site.
There have been some very valuable comments on here which I have tried to reply to but it's quite an old system so I'm just trying to work it out.
My initial question was supposed to be tongue in cheek but obviously it's ruffled some feathers.
In reality I really do want this to be a successful holiday.
I don't quite know how to go about it or do the right thing so I've come here to ask advice from people that I was quite sure have been in similar situations.
I wasn't wrong.
The best advice I have been given on here is to ski with her at her pace, on runs that she chooses, & to be patient and encouraging.
The plan was for her to get lessons in the morning but unfortunately that fell through.
That means for the first time we would be skiing together all day.
Thank you for your help.
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FAQ
