Airport Zombies

A snowHead

Just arrived at Geneva Airport after a very pleasant 2 weeks in the Valais, and returned to reality with a bump. What is that makes normally rational humans behave like toddlers without spacial awareness, who have never seen an airport before?

Examples experienced between the train and lounge:

1. Numerous individuals trying to get on the train which has just pulled in (and isn't going to leave for 20 mins), while there is a obvious queue of people with luggage trying to get off.
2. Stopping in the middle of the platform to have a family discussion, oblivious to the hundreds of people they are blocking.
3. Mobile phone users in a zombie trance, wandering aimlessly about in the narrow sections of the concourse, again blocking everyone.
4. People with trolleys, who are despite the laws of physics, are convinced that they can join you in a lift designed to carry a single trolley, and it is somehow your fault.
5. The large family who consider they are VIP's and are entitled to block the entrance to baggage drop, while they sort out their lives.
6. The skiing group or chalet sharers, who decide that saying goodbye at the exit to baggage drop is a really good idea.
7. The queue jumpers, who despite the fact that you are standing 2 feet from the Security person wait for them to give you your attention, barge in front of you (Yes, they were French).

And my favorite:

8. Despite the fact that you have known you will pass through airport security since you left for the airport, you wait until you get to the actual security check to empty your pockets. This is made worse by the fact you have stood in the queue for 20 minutes and watched numerous people fail the metal detector check, thereby delaying everyone even further. I experienced this in the priority queue with only 2 people in front of me.

9. The person (and there always seems to be at least one), trying to convince the lounge desk that they should be allow in, despite having no entitlement. This also happened on the access to the priority security channel.

Rant over, I'm chilled out now Cool

A snowHead

There's always a few things about Geneva that makes an attempt to ruin a great break away from it all.

Enjoy the lounge and have a good flight.

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

@PowderAdict, I don't recognise many of those rants, but #8 is very familiar. I know I'm a pretty regular traveller, but I'm surprised more people don't remember to pack their liquids, iPads, kindles etc. somewhere they can easily access them.

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I have to fly a bit for business, and there is a marked difference in the tourist versus business airports. Most people are pretty good, but some are absolute imbeciles, been a long time since I flew to a European Ski destination though. Do find it entertaining that people " need" a drink on a 40 minute MAN-LHR shuttle, or on the flights I take from EMA to GLA or EDI. Feel quite sorry for the cabin crew on these flights, I know on the low costs it's how they make their cash, but not on BA! A mad trolley dash.

I have learned that a rucksack is easier than a trolley dolly bag for me. Got one with compartments for laptop , chargers and liquids so it just stays packed ready for the next trip basically.

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@PowderAdict, Were you not aware of the evil magnetron at Gatwick that extracts the common sense gland from the centre of the brain wink

Sadly I recognise all of those traits, unfortuneately they extend to the village and the slopes including not filling chairlifts, standing in dopey places on the slopes and not looking uphill before they set off, oh and MW guests that block the pavement en masse and expect me to walk down the road!

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There was a great one last time I checked in;

The guy in front of me yelling his head off at the check-in desk to get his bag back after they'd sent it off because he'd forgotten to put his toiletry bag in it and it was in his hand luggage!! What a pillock.

Everyone is always in a complete daze at airports, I'm sure it's the same people who stop in groups in the middle of ski slopes.

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I think you should drive rather than fly.

Wink

After all it is free

I also fly pretty much every week on business and am constantly frustrated by the selfishness and lack of self-awareness that makes the whole airport thing so tedious. A little politeness, consideration and following the very simple instructions would make it all so much easier and quicker for all of us. I have to say also, as a rule security staff in Britain are amongst the most rude and aggressive which does not help.

My 4 kids (12, 10, 8 and 6) all seem to manage to be prepared, with their electronics out of their bags, before they reach the scanners. And they seem able to negotiate the whole thing with ease and efficiency. They do fly a fair bit and we definitely make sure they know what is expected. We have had quite a few instances of adults trying to shove past them in the queue/at the scanner (normally in Fast Track), with the attitude that somehow an adult has more "right" to the priority service than a child (whose ticket cost the same). Quite funny seeing said individuals, once put back in their place by me, take longer to sort their stuff out and get through than my kids do.

Also happens at boarding, can't count the number of times people have quite rudely tried to push past us in the Speedy Boarding or other priority boarding queue, often accompanied with the statement "but you have kids" as if by default we must have failed to understand which queue to stand in. Amazing ignorance.

No idea why so many people find it so difficult and fail to realise how a lack of attention holds everyone up. If wee kids can do it then it really cannot be that hard...!

biggest peeve nowadays are large groups of passengers dragging (mainly Samsonite case type, probably half empty anyway) wheelie cabin bags through the terminal in a daze, then trying to shoe horn them into the overhead storage.

here is a tip, if it is to heavy to carry put it in hold luggage!!!

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#8 they need to have separate queues for competent airport users and numpties. no entry to the competent queue until you have passed a test. automatic demotion to the numpty queue (with at least 5 year ban) if you abuse the competent queue.

#3 there are pokemons that need to be caught, before they take over the planet!

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There should a terminal for people that travel often, and one for those that only go on an annual holiday.

You know it makes sense.

I'm deliberately a #8. The whole thing pee's me off. I'm not convinced it is any longer necessary to remove my belt, shoes or loose change. Or to take my Surface and Kindle and put them through separately. GVA were happy to let me go through with my snow boots on (not my belt or small change sadly) not so the LPL Stalinists.

Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:

Problem with a rucksack is that in the past I have been told that because I have a rucksack I must put it under the seat in front of me. Im 6ft 1 and it is hard enough to squeeze into the tiny seats without losing my foot room as some sort of punishment for bringing a smaller bag.

Having said that my most frustrating incident was flying back from Spain once with hold luggage only as I had to make a 35 minute transfer at the other end. Cant recall which god awful budget airline. After queuing up and watching the person in front of me board no problem I was told that I had to have a ticket on my small bag (which would fit under the seat), and that it would be put into the hold. Whilst I was trying to explain that I had a tight transfer at the other end, and that I would happily put the bag under the seat in front several people went past, and interestingly some were given tickets and not others (despite me being told that the maximum number of bags was aboard). Eventually realised that all British passengers were being ticketed and Spanish let through..!
Needless to say I lost the argument, put the sticker on, walked down the air bridge and ripped it off then boarded the plane with my bag. Appalling behaviour by the Spanish staff!

A snowHead

I'm 5' 8", my backpack always goes under the seat in front of me. I have plenty of leg room. Toofy Grin

A snowHead

I was ranting this weekend at Verona. Why when the flight info states only one hold bag of up to 20kgs and one cabin bag do people have to push the limits?

One couple in front of me had two massive hold bags (one of which came in at 25.5kgs!), 2 boot bags, a massive double ski bag (you can be sure they only paid for one ski carriage) and large cabin cases.

If I were the airlines I would:

Charge £20 per kg over the allowance - any more than 5kgs over then it gets chucked off!
Open all ski/board bags - if more than one pair skis/board then chuck them off the flight unless they pay for two lots of carriage!
Restrict usage of large cabin bags to passengers no taking hold bags.

I'd also ban duty free sales at all airports and on all flights!

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

Have to agree. Whilst waiting for security, a woman in front of me was on her phone the whole time we we're queuing / moving forwards. We finally reach the security area....she was still on her phone and had not removed her shoes despite everyone in front of her having down so. I am sorted , shoes off, electronics out and no liquids. I nearly wet myself when she started to argue with security about her shoes, phone still to ear. They almost dragged her out of the queue...hysterical. I am also ashamed to admit though that I inadvertently put my phone in my pocket whilst sorting out belt, iPad etc. Completely forgot, nearly pooped myself when I got beeped at!!!! Very embarrassing.

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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.

British Airways tried to take my rucksack off me in Heathrow to check it in. It's not even that big! Definately smaller than a roller suitcase.

No chance I'm checking in my camera, IPad etc

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@Raven, I always take my ski boots in my rucksack with BA, as I need my custom foamed boots due to a club left foot, and would be unable to ski without them. Luckily they fit Tetris style so my rucksack remains flat, but with all the other items, laptop, iPad etc it can easily weigh 10kg, but doesn't look it. So far it has never been refused and never been weighed Very Happy

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@PowderAdict, The weight limit on BA isn't 10kg, it's 23kg for each of your two cabin bags. I.e. 46kg in total, but the size limits DO apply.

After all it is free

One thing that often annoys me at airports is how poorly the security check areas are designed. Airports know that ~100% of people will need to empty pockets of money/phones/keys etc into a tray and that 90+% will also need to take a laptop out of their bag and put it into a separate tray. How hard would it be to provide a counter/table top with trays running the length of the queue so people can sort this out while waiting rather than in a last minute scramble in the last 2 metres before the checkpoint (or messing about with full hands while trying to move forward with the queue?

Only airport I can think of off the top of my head that does this is Aberdeen. Makes everything run much more smoothly.

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@clarky999,
The airport experience isn't about getting you through as quickly as possible, it's about eating up all of that 2 hour check in etc etc.

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I work at an airport so deal with numpties like these every single day...the level of human ignorance, stupidity and rudeness never ceases to amaze me.

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You know it makes sense.

@japes1275, if I pay for a 20kg ski carriage/sports equipment then it's up to me how I use it. 1 pair of skis, 2 pairs of skis, boots, poles, ski kit... why does it matter to you what other people are doing with their luggage allowance?

Despite travelling for years our last flight was the only time any one has insisted I put my asthma inhaler in a clear bag. I usually just take it out of my pocket and leave it clearly visible in the tray.

Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:

Some airports (e.g. Lcy, Lhr t5) are moving to a parallel queue model where 4 people load their trays at once. Thus if you want to faff around, you're not holding the whole queue up. so far it's the most efficient process I've observed, with no gaps at all in the flow of trays. The old Gva model was ok, but still fundamentally a serial process with gaps in the flow.

A snowHead

@clarky999, Totally agree!! I know what is required and am ready to comply, but bad design makes it impossible to be ready until the point a tray/trays for your items is provided.

A snowHead

@snowdave, The problem with the new T5 model is that everything still has go into separate trays, and it is easy to end up with 4/5 trays stacked in a heap waiting for the conveyor to clear. At the other end the exposed conveyor line section is still a single section, so you are still at the mercy of faffer blocking who process. But at least they have provided tables to allow you to reassemble your clothing and luggage.

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

How difficult is it?

As you get to the back of the queue put your change, phone, wallet into a zip packet in your coat (or if you're not wearing one into a zip pocket in your rucksack or wheely bag, whichever way you swing). Haven't got a zip pocket? Rethink your travelling gear!

Then arrive towards the front of the queue, coat off, jacket off (if you've got one under your coat), liquids already packed into plastic bag out and into tray (you did prearrange for them to be in a plastic bag and accessible didn't you?), laptop and/ or tablet also out and then comply with any other perverse requirement usually publicised (belt, shoes, etc.) and through you go.

I agree it's more painful than it used to be but really?

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The whole going through security thing now really freaks me out. I get un-necessarily worked up and stressed about it all, and no matter how prepared I am, I will drop something, or forget to remove something, or find something lurking in the depths of my cabin bag that shouldn't be there. Not only that, I'm usually travelling with a man who gets searched on every trip.

Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.

I can however recommend Emirates business class to completely remove that stress and hassle.

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@DJL, +1

I used to be able to pack for a 4-5 trip to Ghana in a small trundle able cabin case, with my iPod and Blackberry, keys change and clear ziplock bag of toiletries all ready in the zip pocket of the case.

I made some very swift transits through T4 and T5, which were rather necessary when I'd got caught up in the office and traffic on the M4 was a little sticky.

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Those who stands as close as they can to the baggage carousel despite their bags (and usually no other bags) being anywhere near.

If they won't move then my bag needs to be hauled off as it goes past and takes their knee caps off, well unfortunate.

After all it is free

^ and usually it's an entire family in the way rolling eyes

Not sure how ski/snowboard bags are usually handled at arrivals (new to travelling with skis) but it was complete chaos at a Salzburg airport the other week. There were multiple flights arriving st the same time and there were two spots where they were wheeling Trolley after trolley of ski bags in. The problem was there was no announcement as to which flight each trolley was from so each time one was brought through a frenzied mob descended on the pile of bags. One woman joked that she hoped no one picked up her bag by mistake. Ten minutes later it turned her 'joke' had come true and her bag was missing
Sad

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@Raven, that almost happened to me - just managed to intercept the dozy culprit. Cut up a VERY bright ladies floral scarf into strips and tied them to the handles of my luggage. Problem solved - do get some odd looks from time to time but so what.

Help!!

Airport Zombies

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