 Poster: A snowHead
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Hi All,
We shall sadly be leaving La France this year, which should merit a thread all of its own. There are many questions, not least what to do with a house, a three year old who only speaks French, a ski racing wife* etc etc. More importantly, what are the skiing things to tick off in the last winter??
I thought I would make a start by actually trying some of this slalom business yesterday. As I lie in bed nursing mild whiplash, sore muscles, and excruciating damage to my ego, I shall attempt to ease my pain by amusing others!
Having done a few days of GS training on the beautiful hard hero snow of the Tignes glacier, I thought it would be easy. Skis were acquired, club joined, protectors borrowed and off to Villard des Lans. Once you have all the kit on, it really is a case of trying to pull out your best skiing even while warming up. These days I reckon I can carve better than average, and was pulling out all the tricks. Nothing amuses the cabin lift crowd like a half-arsed skier in race gear. I didn't bother to track down a race suit though, so I could easily slip back into the crowd if necessary.
Anyway, on arrival at the club slalom and after introductions to the mainly FIS level racers, it was time to begin. By this time the soft spring snow had already formed into ruts that resembled an olympic bob sleigh track. Standing at the back of the queue watching some highly spirited slalom skiing, I began to realise that I might have- just slightly- overestimated my own ability. A nod to the taciturn club coach, and it was time to go.
With a muttered 'pays to be a winner!' I was off, skating past the first pole and swatting it away imperiously with a gloved hand. Second pole approaching, weight nailed on the outside ski, and something amazing happened. Whoosh! the ski bent, hip to the snow, and from out of nowhere a perfect cross block, CRACK!
When the the third pole hit me in the face I was still admiring this feat of skill, and the combination to the nuts which followed was the coup de grâce. I didn't know that I could do a summersault on skis, but every day is a school day... Staggering to my feet, the granite-like face of the coach appeared to indicate that I was in the way on his slalom, so I limped to safety.
The second run was similar, with a ski lost by hitting the same bloody combination. The third run I managed to survive by concentrating on the bath tub sized ruts, and regarding the poles as a completely optional part of the game. I must have gone around about 50 % at most.
The lesson learned? If you really believe in yourself, try as hard as you can, and DREAM.... You will still make an back bottom of yourself! 
*No I haven't forgotten the 'test technique' thread- that story will be returned to in due course.... promise!
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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 @JamesHJ, hope writing that was as cathartic for you as it was funny for me. Crème de la menthe!
Must be such a wrench to leave France. Still, 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, as Del Boy once said.
Hope aches, pains and ego mended very soon.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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@JamesHJ,
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| regarding the poles as a completely optional part of the game |
Ignore the poles & try to survive is the best option 
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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excellent
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I cut a rather sorry figure limping through the car park in the rain at lunch time. The wife has not stopped laughing yet!
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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You know it makes sense.
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FAQ
another go?
