 Poster: A snowHead
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Ok everyone here is very intense about ski ability, gear, where they ski,........ but we all have had a good ol giggle at stuff.
Mine was last year in Garmisch, there was a snow white out,. We stopped in a mountain top restaurant to have a coffee and a break. A group came in beside us and talked all the talk, they took off their outer jackets, one guy had spyder jacket, pants, inside wear, and back guard, this guy was so kitted out, it was amazing. I immediately thought he knew his stuff.............
Then we went outside, I was fixing my gloves whatever, the guy snow ploughed the whole way down a simple blue......... It made me giggle as the man was way older than me ....... ( that in itself was a reason to assume he was a better skier) but the talk he was giving loudly proclaimed him to be the best skier ever. mean of me, but I thought his talk , helmet, gear, suggested an advanced skier, but nope.............. just new .
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Anyone wearing Bogner.....
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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| Perty wrote: |
| Anyone wearing Bogner..... |
I had seen this name mentioned elsewhere on Snowheads and had no clue. Just googled it - OMG! A grand for a jacket - who buys this stuff??!!! It's not even nice.
Anyway, back on topic - I had to giggle last season when I was in the park for the first time and attempting a jump. Just as I started my run up, the chair lift above the park stopped. I went for the jump and completely stacked it and made a tit of myself, hearing the people stationery on the chair lift pissing themselves laughing at my misfortune, it started me giggling. I reckon if I hadn't, it would have been tears.
The wife ripped into me for the rest of the day.
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There was a guy at Tamworth on Wednesday night having a snowboard lesson wearing flesh coloured salos. From a distance it looked like he had no keks on, most amusing.
Essentially any fashion faux pas makes me chortle, plus the ATGNIs of course. I also love the comedy value of parents who are rubbish skiers with kids who ski rings round them, so cute.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Me, falling off the Ramasse lift at Val Cenis before the top, into the netting. I am still not sure how I did it, but the lifties hardly glanced at me caught up in the ropes. I imagine it was a top moment for any one else who saw it, but thankfully, my family where in the bar next door, and missed it.
Also,an immaculately dressed Italian male, wearing only turquoise skis, boots, pants, jacket, goggles and helmet, snowploughing.
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Similar to above when I as s new skier stacked in on a blue under a stationary cable car... Shouts of 4,6,6 and a Len goodman 7 came down from the heavens... Also the offer of a Mars bar that one of them had dropped 
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It is so unfair when you fall under a lift, because everyone will laugh at you, in fairness we all watch people on the piste as we sit on chairlifts.
One year in france , somewhere can't remember which resort, they had so much snow, that there was a little mountain hut completely covered, three guys were coming down the slope behind it at great speed, the first one managed to stop as he realised they were on a roof, the second one just barely stopped, the third was going too fast and when he hit the top of the roof he started windmilling and fell like sack of stones, poor lad, but it was funny watching them approach it. Thankfully he wasn't hurt so our laughing wasn't too far out of line.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Nice scarpa 
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Just after Christmas, on a dull, drizzly, afternoon on a muddy dry slope with no lift in the Ayrshire coalfield. Mid 1980s. Lots of local lads in jeans and anoraks, rather good, never been near an alp, very few of them would have been anywhere near the Highlands.
Then, from the changing rooms, emerged a bloke of about 50, in spanking new shining racing gear. Swiss cheese holes sort of outfit, the complete works. Long shiny brand new skis (nobody ever, ever, used their own skis on that slope).
We all watched, ready to be impressed, but having stood nervously at the top for a bit he snowploughed very slowly and carefully all the way down.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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| Quote: |
| for equivalence you have to have the same training - some people argue that if you are snow ploughing for enough time it is equivalent to do doing the ET - I don't buy it |
made me giggle 
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You know it makes sense.
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Doing the exact opposite of Scarpa and very much overshooting the landing on a pretty small kicker that I expected to have more of a knuckle. It resulted in a quick spin on my back bottom and a smattering of jeers from the chair nearby.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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@meh, That is always embarrassing.
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Poster: A snowHead
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@Scarpa, the sad thing is, I'd have been quite happy with that jump 
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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About 10 years ago a big guy, all in black and wearing a helmet (so probably German) came past us at speed. About 10 seconds later, in the mid distance, he did a sort or swervy wobble and went over. The funny bit was that he landed on his feet, running and left both skis standing up tip first in the piste. Although, he didn't seem to think it was funny.
From the spectator point of view there's a lift that goes over the Harikari run in Mayrhofen. I watched a guy fall over quite gracefully and keep sliding. He lost both skis and was still going when we went out of sight a minute or so later. We laughed . . . and decided not to do that one!
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Pretty much any time some falls over at the top of a lift...more so when I know them.
Also was on a lift last year and saw this big fat lad walking down a black run carrying a couple of blades. We later passed him on an easy blue and he was covered in snow with one of his mates knelt down trying to put his skis back on for him. 15 minutes later we were on the lift overhead again and they were still there, it was at that point that I realised what happened. There was a set of tracks going from the middle of a lovely wide piste, veering off to the left and ending just off the piste, where there was a big hole. Matey must have been completely out of control and been drawn to the piste marker like it was an electromagnet.
Also fondly remember when I was skiing for the first time and was on a sort of graduate green run. There was a woman who obviously felt that she'd bitten off more than she could chew so was schooching down the slope on her bum while holding both skis. It must have taken her half an hour before she got to the bottom. What I, nor anyone else that I sat next to on the lift whilst she was doing it, was why she didn't just get up and walk 
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Not me, but my ski buddy..... The laugh was on me though.
A couple of years ago, boy's ski weekend, Sauze. A gorgeous blue run, reasonably steep, long, with a U bend half way down. You could really rattle down it, tear round the right hand bend and carry straight on. Toward the end, on the left of the piste, a little mountain hut. Being old(ish) and with aching legs, we decided to stop and have a beer. I got there first and stopped. Skis still pointing down hill. Buddy skied past and stopped, kicked off his skis and walked down to the ski rack.
I decided to ski down to the rack. A whole 3m. Turned left toward the rack and tried to make another sharp left to pull up parallel with it.
Skies refused to obey. Skied slowly in to it. Full of skies. Put my hands out to stop. Which I did. Then started to move again as the whole tripod became unbalanced and tipped over, scattering around 20 pairs of skies.....
Giggle? He very nearly wet himself.
Picked em all up and tried our best to match them up. Had no chance with the poles though. Went in for a Weiss bier. Fortunately nobody was watching. Even more fortunate that he couldn't get his camera out to capture the moment.
I guess we would have earned £200 from a certain TV show.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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@trainee snowboard jedi, I was happy that I stayed on my feet Later attempts I just managed to get enough speed going straight to just clip the edge of the flat part. It was a sticky snow day lol
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You'll need to Register first of course.
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One of the funniest sights I remember was at Cairngorm in the early-mid eighties. A group of army guys were learning to ski, tbh it looked like their first day on skis. They were all in matching clothes (iirc bright yellow oilskins) and fairly easy to spot. I saw them all line up above a patch of heather, they had their bindings undone. They then took turns at straight lining it down to the heather. Their skis stopped dead on the heather and they flew, limbs flailing, through the air. The winner was the one that flew the furthest.
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Top of one of the chair lifts in Kitz about 20 years ago .... I dont know how it happened ...
but some lass hanging from the chair by her rucksack
The lift stopped of course, but thats the best I can snigger about.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Many years ago. Woman with white one piece and too much make up walks up to avalanche dog sitting beside the lift base and makes baby talk noises to the dog. Happy dog stands up and puts very muddy paws on her front (yes you know where) and takes a big sloppy lick of her over made up face. Woman runs off crying and the dog just sits back down like he owns the place.
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He did own the place of course!
Hi @Sarge McSarge it looks like most of Europe has gone to bed now .. and your just getting up in the morning.
Its a small world now ... I'm way off my normal time zone.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Was paused waiting for compadre to catch up at Fernie when a group of snowboarders stopped just below a lift just above where I was. They're obviously newbies as they've missed the entrance to the lift and take off gear to walk up a small snowbank to the lift entrance. One of the guys accidentally loses his board and it's off down the mountain without him - he goes haring off after it on foot and makes a dive to catch it and misses... by about 20 feet. Snowboard is off and gathering momentum and is last see disappearing over the banking and into the woods by the side of the piste about 200m further down the hill. Remember kids, if you're not going to leash, then keep hold of your gear.
The icing on the cake is I was filming - must dig out the clip sometime...
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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I'm easilly amused, by both others and myself.
I'm now an 'expert' skier (apparently), which means I am happy going down a black...but have an amazing ability to fall over when stationary. Stop, look up hill for friends, fall over because I've fogotten I'm wearing skis!
I love to ski in Ischgl. Partly this is because of the skiing, partly the apres skiing but also so we can play "Spot The Russian". Best spot ever was a lady in a one-piece gold lamé - with gold lamé tassles across the back.
I even chuckle when someone starts a "is this the worst year EVER for snow ?" thread and writes "Can one serious dump change everything ?".
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How about when you're full of confidence and haring down a run in great style, only to lose it in a huge wipe out. There you are, lying head down the slope with a face full of snow, skis and poles scattered around you when a kid of 6 or 7 skies up beside you and asks "you alright mister?". Nothing you can do but laugh!
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You know it makes sense.
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A friend told me how he had seen someone that decided to have a wee by some trees just slightly off piste. Next thing they were sliding backwards back onto the piste with their d!@k in their hand leaving a yellow snow trail behind them until they keeled over! I wish I'd been there!
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Last season, we saw a teenager dressed in latest coordinated gear, right down to the ski boots, coming into a restaurant in Serre Che at lunchtime. As he was leaving the restaurant for his ski lesson, his Mum dressed him in his outer layers, zipped up his jacket, and fastened the helmet. Yep, Italian.
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Poster: A snowHead
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Ex's dad at Xscape many years ago. Ex had bought some new skis and gave dad his "old" (about 2 years) carvers - dad had only last skied on skinny 2m long downhills.
Ex had set bindings to suit dad. Dad didn't believe DIN settings were correct and after a few runs we were back at the top and they were still arguing. Dad decides to demonstrate that settings are wrong by leaning as far forward in his boots as possible, leaning on poles which are stuck in at ski tips. More arguing. Dad is convinced bindings should have released. Ex tells him to do the same but with arms outstretched.......he went down face first in completely straight legged/armed in crucifix-type stance in full view of everyone at the top, everyone on the tow, everyone looking upslope and everyone in the bar. I still get the giggles just thinking about it. At the time I laughed so hard I was doubled over - THAT went down well.....
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Some years ago I was skiing through the trees with some friends when I lost track of one of them who had been in front. I stopped and realised I could hear someone shouting help but couldn't see them. Then I saw a ski pole waving near a tree. I skied below the tree and climbed up to find my friend in the hole around the trunk, vertical and still in her bindings but unable to release them because the flex of the skis was trapping her in. I called her boyfriend up to help and on seeing her predicament he decided that he needed to go down and get the camera before we got her out.
We still laugh about it.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Leading the husband down what should have been a nice little run in ADH last year, only to realise at the point of no return that it was unpisted (big rock in the middle of piste!). Made it so far then the foot or so of powder was too much for my piste skis to bear, I sank and fell over.
Cue me trying to stand up and failing miserably, scooting down the piste on my backside with a ski and pole under each arm until I got to a point where I could stand up - still took a few goes though.
The husband couldn't stand up for laughing at my antics and I was crying with laughter....
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Ah folks some of you have me in hoots here. My dh years ago fancied himself as a great ski jumper, this is before play parks were the norm, and he spotted a nice spot where he could get some air, ( never ever try something under a lift) he wanted us to capture his wonderful jump on camera so had one of us stand at the spot as he would get air, and another two of us stand at different points to catch him in the air, and as he landed. ( days before mobile phone cameras so there was a lot of are ye ready calls) well he came down the run like a bat out of hell, and the way the snow was on his jump pointed his tips up just that bit too much, they were long straight skis, and he went up in the air and landed like a tonne of bricks on his backside,..... the hoots coming from the lifts was hilarious, but we couldn't move from laughing. needless to say the photos were good. He also had a delicate bottom for a while. Did he learn NO! we still manage to see him attempt the weird and wonderful and give us a laugh.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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In Obergurgl/Hochgurgl this year, shared a gondola with a heavily made up Russian lady in white diamanté all in one suit with fur collar, after we got out of the gondola and clipped in to bindings I spotted her draped over a piste basher in a "sexy pose" having her picture taken. Few minutes later we went up to the Top Star resurant for a quick coffee and look round, outside there is a bronze cast of a mountain goat, as I walked towards it to have a closer look, I noticed the same lady cupping the goats dangly bits whilst smiling seductively at her partner
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In zell this year me and the other half were on the slow chair back up to the top of Schmittenhohe when we could hear the apres party had started outside. On came our favourite apres song "hey, wir wollen the eisbaren sehen, wo oh oh oh oh". that was our cue to start singing along and punching the air. Pity we never saw the end of the chair we were having so much fun. The liftie stopped it as we were about to turn and we had to jump down from about 4 feet. Said sorry but don't think he was impressed.
Also in Sestriere in march i was videoing the view from the top of the steep black at the top of the olympic run which is accessed by a long steep button tow. As i panned round i saw a woman let go the tow just as she went over the top. unfortunately for her not quite enough over and she fell backwards and down the hill about 70 metres losing skis and poles. as the snow either side of the tow was pretty much lumpy unskiable ice she had to try and get back up to the top. It took her over half an hour and luckily she was not hurt but it provided a good crowd of fifty plus a good laugh watching.
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| Quote: |
It took her over half an hour and luckily she was not hurt but it provided a good crowd of fifty plus a good laugh watching.
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Is it just me or is that rather nasty? The fact that no body skied down to her and helped her traverse out onto the piste strikes me as particularly unchivalrous. I note your point about it being and lumpy and refrozen but you can pick your way through even avalanche debris when you have to...
Anyhoo back to the question in hand. Occasionally I ski with a weird mount for a standard compact camera on my helmet (being too tight for a gopro). I look even sillier than a gopro wearer. Often its because I'm videoing the kids. I can ski OK but the kids being kids tend to think that Daddy is better than he is. Embarrassingly I tend to get seduced into jumps etc because they egg me on. Anyway, it was spring and they spied a nice lip at the edge of the piste. I went for it with some gusto, got plenty of air but landed slightly unbalanced on one ski. The snow was warmed up spring snow, quite soggy and dense, so the ski sunk, I flipped over and managed a proper headplant camera first. I immediately got the giggles and the whole thing including my efforts to desnow myself and the camera were recorded for posterity. You'd be amazed how many repeats of the footage the kids watched that evening before they got bored.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Oh - too many to recount here but I'll put up a couple
First one was a long poma in the 3V; IIRC it was one of the links from the Courchevel valley to Meribel valley (it was a long time ago) and a young french child was on the tow in front of me. Unfortunately the telescopic part of the drag wasn't working and as the ground droppd away it failed to extend and he was left dangling in the air, slowly spinning and screaming, for probably a hundred meters or more. Goodness knows how he didn't fall off. However when he came down (or the ground came up) he landed facing the wrong diirection. Cue more screaming. This repeated itself several times until we got to the top by which time I was virtually doubled over with laughter.
The other was again a long time ago. A lads ski trip and we'd had several days of quite heavy snowfall. Anyway, the weather had cleared and we decided to take a short cut between pistes so technically off-piste I guess but the world and his dog had done similar. Anyway, some of the guys and especially one mate, Dave, weren't quite as good as the rest of us and started dropping behind as some bits were up hill. I was in front with Danny and after a while we lost sight of the guys behind us. Well we waited and waited and still they didn't appear so I went back to see what had happened. Anyway, Dave in his wisdom had decided that a certain uphill section he was having trouble with would be better tackled on foot so decided to take his skis off thinking that the snow wasn't very deep but what he didn't realise was that the saplings he was standing beside were actually the tops of quite mature trees. Needless to say he ended up to his thighs almost immediately and when I arrived there they all were trying to pull him, without a great degree of success, out of the snow. It was a bit like a scene from a Keystone cops film.
As a postscript, Dave, who was a lovely guy, seemed to attract adversity. When we arrived back at Gatwick whilst waiting for our luggage we noticed that among the luggage already out on the carousel there was a pair of blokes pants, then some ski socks, and a t-shirt and gradually more and more individual items. Suddenly it became clear that Dave, who always crammed far too much into his suitcase, had finally tried too much once too often and whilst he ran around the carousel gathering up his belongings, the rest of the passengers just stood there roaring with laughter ! If only one of us had owned a video camera
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several years ago, while I was still a novice (some things don't change!), a friend of ours and her potential beau joined us in Are Sweden for their first ski trip.
We left them with their instructor on a large and very wide plateau that the instructors took their newbies, and we went off and did our own thing. I found a nice twisty blue run that I went up and down a few times to get my ski legs back, then went to grab a well earned beer at the restaurant at one side of the plateau. I sat outside on the sundecks in the glorious sunshine and watched our friends have their lesson. They were both struggling a bit and the instructor decided to take them down a nursery slope one at a time, so he took our friend down first and her potential beau was left in the middle of the plateau to wait....
... and was a bit tense about this and looked very lonely in the middle of the plateau as he stood there in his skis trying desperately not to move.... until he started sliding forward... very slowly across the plateau away from me.
being a newbie, I thought he would at worst try to use his poles to stop himself... but he didn't.... he just continued his very slow slide across the plateau, which wasn't completely flat and he was stood up perfectly straight with his arms out at his sides to keep his balance.
He picked up a little speed, not much as it was almost flat, but I thought maybe someone should help him .... not me obviously as I was drinking beer.
But then I realised he was heading straight towards the instructors hut, so he'd be ok... except that the hut was on stilts to keep it out of the snow and snow around the hut sloped sharply under it, so when he reached the hut going at around 3mph, his skis suddenly dived under it and he face planted into the wall... still with his arms out at his sides.
I shouldn't have laughed ...as I ended up snorting my beer! But the funniest part was that he was just stuck there. His weight was jamming the skis under the hut and he couldn't reach down to free himself from his skis, so he was just stuck there faced still planted against the wall ...until a kindly instructor freed him, by which time I was rolling about laughing about on the deck.
Don't get me wrong, I really liked the guy, and I told him about how funny it looked afterwards, but that was his first and last skiing lesson. They both stayed in town for the rest of the trip, and he never did get to become her beau.
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FAQ
