 Poster: A snowHead
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My husband has just bought a pair of Dale Boots. Judging by the speed with which he can put them on and take them off without pain to his atrophied ankle and due to the fact they open right up I can see lots of people in the boot room eyeing him and his boots with admiration and envy, no faffing will be required.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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My ski buddy is my daughter (she’s 28 years old) and I am ready for 8.30am... I wait patiently while she faffs - straightens her hair (!), full makeup - to make it outside by 9.45am. Boot faff during/after first run, possibly back to the hire shop for a different pair. Stop for a coffee after second run.
Utterly frustrating. Totally worth it.
Lost my ski buddy when she started a family, so currently looking forward to skiing with my daughter AND granddaughter as soon as ever possible!
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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In my innocence I thought that half the fun of skiing was getting away from the OH with the lads for a week !?!?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Same experience for us on our first holiday. Been there, done that...... 
Agonising rental boots back in the late 1980s on our first ski holiday in Italy with loads of faffing about and sore feet. Lesson learnt and have had our own kit ever since, I guess my current boots are probably my 6th or 7th pair. Boots are easily the most vital link between you and the snow. Lots of info in advanced ski technique books and online about proper boot sizing and fitting:
Buy your own boots, get them professionally sized correctly and custom fitted with any necessary shell stretching and custom footbeds. Wear quality thin ski socks. Learn to adjust your clips in the correct sequence and amount, never over tighten the toe box clips. Do the ankle/shin cuff clips up first until tight follwed by the power strap, then just nip up the toe box clips.Theory is you should be able to ski with all clips undone anyway as the shin/lower leg does the flex and needs to be firm, the toe clips just prevent sloppy foot steering. I only crank my boots up super tight all over for the odd lunatic blast.
Get a good fitting boot and be on the mountain in ten minutes and ski all day without a second thought for your feet.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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| Pukmeister wrote: |
Agonising rental boots back in the late 1980s on our first ski holiday in Italy with loads of faffing about and sore feet. |
Compared to rental boots in the 70s, they were positively comfortable....at least in the 80s, you could rent Rear Entry. 
I still remember my Holiday in La Plagne, with bruised bleeding shins....and then spotting the newly introduced Salomon SX80s in the hire shop. I gladly paid the premium to swap over. This was the first time I discovered that skiing didn't always involve Boot Agony.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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what is boot faff?
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| gfmozart wrote: |
| what is boot faff? |
It's a major division of General Ski Faff.
After Breakfast has been taken, anything that delays the actual process of skiing (other than Food Stops/Riding Lifts), is almost always to do with faffing.
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| gfmozart wrote: |
| what is boot faff? |
If you don't know I hope you never find out!
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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| davkt wrote: |
| gfmozart wrote: |
| what is boot faff? |
If you don't know I hope you never find out! |
Amen to that.
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Well... I had always needed to change my boots cause they were too tight, rendering the first day of skiing usually painful and wasted. Is that boot faff? What is faff? Is it a British slang?
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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@gfmozart, faff can be applied to many situations (some people seem prone to applying it to all of them), but skiing is a particularly faffy activity. Boot faff is the swapping, adjusting, removing etc. of boots, continuously and at generally inopportune moments throughout the day, usually by the same individual. Over the course of a week, many hours of skiing time can be lost to faff generally – if you want to see how much, kit up and go out on your own for a day, you'll probably ski 50% more!
The ideal place and time for boot faff is on a gondola, so no time is lost and you're ready to go when it gets to the top station.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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Boot faff, well a reasonable amount of boot adjustment is say put them on and do them up before first lift, after a run or two tighten them a notch or two, maybe repeat at lunchtime if you loosen them to make walking in the restaurant easier. Also reasonable is going to the hire shop to change boots when the lifts are closed. Anything other than that (which is pretty much certain with new skiers, teenagers and a few other classes of skier discussed in this thread) is boot faff!
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@Scarlet, Don't think you'd know anyone capable of extreme boot faff with a new pair of boots 
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You know it makes sense.
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@Dave of the Marmottes, Can't think of anyone. Extreme goggle faff, midlayer faff, glove faff or jacket faff however...
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Boot faff is anything that takes away skiing time. You can take as much time as you like adjusting your boots before the first lifts open, and after the last lifts close (for instance if you need to return to the hire shop to change them). In between however, it is boot faff. The only acceptable adjustments are on gondolas, as well loosening them in the restaurant and tightening them again once lunch is finished. However, said tightening should be done while waiting for the bill to be brought (alongside re-application of lip balm and sunscreen), since otherwise you are losing ski time, and thus faffing.
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Poster: A snowHead
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Reading this thread has made me realise how lucky I am. Mrsthecramps doesn't carry on at all.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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| thecramps wrote: |
| Reading this thread has made me realise how lucky I am. Mrsthecramps doesn't carry on at all. |
1st rule of faff club. If you can't identify the faffer it's you.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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| Dave of the Marmottes wrote: |
| thecramps wrote: |
| Reading this thread has made me realise how lucky I am. Mrsthecramps doesn't carry on at all. |
1st rule of faff club. If you can't identify the faffer it's you. |
2nd Rule of Faff Club - If you identify the Faffer as your better half, it's best not to complain to much (or even not at all).
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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No one has mentioned pole faff yet
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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| Old Fartbag wrote: |
...
2nd Rule of Faff Club - If you identify the Faffer as your better half, it's best not to complain to much (or even not at all). |
Next boot faff, just say these magic words as s/he's adjusting, "Best layoff the carbs for a while, dear"...no more boot faff, guaranteed 
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Tips from a happy, but ultimately dissolved marriage:
If you want to ski first lift: go with snowheads
2nd option, put her in morning lessons, preferably with a dishy Italian ski instructor
Engage in and promote early day boot fuss: I even fetched the boots to the room to warm them with her hairdryer, at least 1/2 hr before first lift. Pay great attention to all aspects of getting the boots on her feet. This puts the agenda in your control, and that reduces your stress. Carry her skis to the lift.
Beware cold appendages (hers) require IMMEDIATE hot chocolate stop, take a hip flask.
Happy hour bar, preferably with open fire, rates more highly than afternoon tea at the chalet.
DP, you seem to have been rewarded well, but please refer to her as something other than Mrs DP, unless that is a particular liking of hers?
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That last post has got me thinking, @Strax. Is there some kind of relationship between faff perception and inability to advance/tendency to give up skiing? Bear with me, the (anecdotal) evidence is as follows:
• The majority of people referring to faffers in this thread are talking about their wives/girlfriends.
• Almost without exception, the women that I ski with are not faffers. They are also generally pretty good skiers. And carry their own skis 
Are the husbands who pander to such behaviour cementing an idea that women are useless and need to be "helped" in order to enjoy skiing, to the point where they decide it's not worth the effort and send their blokes off on their own?
Genuinely curious.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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| Scarlet wrote: |
That last post has got me thinking, @Strax. Is there some kind of relationship between faff perception and inability to advance/tendency to give up skiing? Bear with me, the (anecdotal) evidence is as follows:
• The majority of people referring to faffers in this thread are talking about their wives/girlfriends.
• Almost without exception, the women that I ski with are not faffers. They are also generally pretty good skiers. And carry their own skis
Are the husbands who pander to such behaviour cementing an idea that women are useless and need to be "helped" in order to enjoy skiing, to the point where they decide it's not worth the effort and send their blokes off on their own?
Genuinely curious. |
I faff with:
- Lens changing
- Pocket Pelmanism
- Venting Zips
- Poles
- Carrying skis, where the ski brakes don't lock together properly
- Gloves - especially if tucked inside sleeves
- Ski Lock
- Goggle latch on back of helmet
- Piste Map
Lady F faffs with boots.
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@Old Fartbag, oh I know that blokes faff, but if you were with me, you’re not likely to get any assistance or sympathy with that lot beyond an eye roll and some helpfully sarcarstic comments.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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@Scarlet,
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Almost without exception, the women that I ski with are not faffers. They are also generally pretty good skiers. And carry their own skis
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Indeed. God knows I'm no wimmins libber, but there is a load of sexist tosh on this thread. Besides which, any fule knos that Scarpa of this parish is the Supreme Bootfaffer.
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Hmmm. Sexist indeed. It's the other way round in our household. Mrs t_m is the ski teacher who just pulls the boots on and goes, while I, the hapless, endlessly faff.
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You know it makes sense.
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| Boris wrote: |
@dp, Beware the day 3 nightmare when
1. You take her on a run you think she'll cope well with
2. There is a steep/narrow/icy bit you'd forgotten
3. She freaks out and wants to kill you
4. After much coaching, pleading, offers off presents etc she gets through it alive - possibly having to bum slide
5. She doesn't talk to you for rest of day
6. You swear it is lads only from now on
7. Repeat day 1 and all smiles again |
This was so how a relationship ended for me.. took a lass I'd been seeing for about a year away to Sauze, the boot faff bit did happen to a degree at the beginning of the trip, but around day 3 or so this exact sequence of events took place, including the bum slide, but with the exception of step 7. Would never contemplate doing the same thing again 
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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I'm rather with @Hurtle on this. I find some experienced skiiers to be totally hopeless in terms of putting themselves in the metaphorical boots of a new learner. Or even someone not of their off-piste, heli-ski adrenalin-junkie mindset. So just imagine your Other Half has been riding horses since they were 2, and then you are trying your best to learn to be companionable. Apart from the real worry of injury, I wonder how much faffing you'd be doing with the tack? I think a ski tip is a good test of compatibility - if you're not prepared to make concessions to them as a learner, then it says something about outer areas in the relationship.
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Poster: A snowHead
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| Dave of the Marmottes wrote: |
| thecramps wrote: |
| Reading this thread has made me realise how lucky I am. Mrsthecramps doesn't carry on at all. |
1st rule of faff club. If you can't identify the faffer it's you. |
Seriously though, we don't faff, either of us. We decide where we are going as we go up the lift, get off it and go.
One of the reasons we aren't keen on skiing with others too much. They always irritate the buggery out of us, p1ssing around with goggles, poles, maps, bickering about were to go, needing to urinate every twenty minutes, being too hot, and too cold, needing to f**k about adjusting an airbag backpack, (even though they never leave the piste and still snowplough steep reds), re consulting the map at EVERY junction, refusing to go on a black, or worse a red, wanting 3 hours for lunch, and then wanting to go in, or wanting to go to La Folie Deuce, never ever remembering which pocket anything is in, so they have to do a full pocket search and inventory everytime they want a polo (which are NEVER shared), or worse, getting out the polos just as everyone is ready and passing them round so everyone goes "ooh lovely" and takes the f**king gloves off again, putting their lift pass in a silly hidden hip pocket that requires some wierd dance routine at EVERY lift station, despite their jacket having a perfectly good sleeve end pocket that is made for it, and even though they have years of experience, cannot seem to get the knack of knocking compressed snow off the bottom of their boots, so putting on skis takes forever and is so frustrating to watch that you end up wanting to beat them to death with their own go-pro, which would at least stop them admiring their own shittie film footage every time they stop.
Last edited by Poster: A snowHead on Sun 17-02-19 16:13; edited 3 times in total
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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@thecramps, top rant
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Excellent prostate care reminder impressively segwayed into a snowsports forum. Top work @Masque,
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Did I mention the wasting of many thousands of precious skiing time deciding whether to have cream on the hot chocolate or not and the total inability to read the piste, so that before every flat they practically stop, so you end up waiting for weeks for them to shuffle to catch up because they STILL can't skate. There will be more I've forgotten. Must be.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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I am the other half. I never thought I had a problem with rental boots but then we made the mistake of getting ski boots from the local sports shop. Two holidays later and a few trips back to the shops I end up with new boots because apparently I have super narrow feet and I have one choice of adult boot or a junior racing boot. Luckily hubby hadn’t bought my Christmas present yet!
Hubby is easy and snowboards. Luckily he waits for me.
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| hobbiteater wrote: |
yes
(maybe she was born to be a snowboarder with all the boot faff) |
Tsk. Skiers... Never pay attention.
It's BINDING FAFF NOT BOOT FAFF. Your people have boot faff, ask CEM - he made a career out of it!
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I know some comments are tongue in cheek but some people simply can't help it and struggle with equipment. So what? You're supposed to be on holiday and it's everyone's holiday - what's a minute here and there? I think that those obsessed with skiing every possible second either have a problem or don't get it. You're in the mountains, the view's nice. Spending a few minutes standing around, not moving is fine. It really doesn't matter. Relax, be cool.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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What is this skiing first lift thing? I would have had to have had an accident in bed to do that. I sit puzzled, watching people dashing down the road to be first. Then I start faffing I admit. I usually forget my gloves, can never do my boots up properly, have to have regular coffee stops, can’t read piste maps without my glasses....... hubby is a saint putting up with me I have to say.
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@billb, @bambionskiis, Sorry. You both die in mine and mrsthecramps new order. Actually, I am not sorry. Sort your priorities out. 
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FAQ
. . . Though I will remind you that regular digital exploration may go a long way for you to avoid being part of the bathroom faff 