 Poster: A snowHead
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Can I just say that the toilets at Cretes in Les Deux Alpes were the most disgusting I have EVER encountered in 30+ years of skiing.
We spent 60e on lunch at the downstairs bar sat outside and therefore weren’t allowed to use the toilets upstairs and were directed to a porto cabin which made festival toilets look like luxury facilities- urghh
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Were they like old school French toilets? I stayed at a campsite on Île de Re a few years back that still had the “two foot pads and a hole in the ground” kind of toilet 
Last edited by Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person on Mon 23-01-23 20:09; edited 1 time in total
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Not sure which french resort it was, but one place we stopped off at for a drink had communal squat toilets. Nothing dedicated to his & hers, nothing dedicated to no'1's.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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@anarchicsaltire, you beat me to it!
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You'll need to Register first of course.
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Stopped at a newly re-furbished motorway services in France recently, nice new toilet facilities BUT not a toilet seat to be seen in Ladies or Gents, yet toilet pedestals had holes to bolt the seats on!
Conversely stopped at an Aire in the middle of nowhere, spotlessly clean, and a toilet seat in every cubicle.
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Two places Val Cenis have recently moved to new compost type toilet facilities, nothing wrong with them but warning on the door for children under 10 to be accompanied, the hole when looking into it is large enough to let a small child disappear through 
Yes @anarchicsaltire, vintage clip and very funny.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Not ski related but the toilets at Kikkos monastery on Cyprus were the worst I’ve ever found. A footplate on either side of a hole (not unusual) but the platform built overhanging the cliff edge. “Don’t look down” wasn’t really an option, TBH
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We took the kids to the absolutely delightful monastic island of St Honorat (off the coast of Cannes) a few years back, having first gone there when we were on honeymoon.
One of the kids announced that they needed the toilet. I took them to them to the facilities, which was literally a hole in the ground in a shed. They suddenly didn’t need anymore, and didn’t need to go until we arrived back on the mainland
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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It wasn't the worst, but I still remember the time I pulled over during a long car journey - probably skiing - picked my satnav phone off the holder, put it into my pocket and walked into the loo, faced the appropriate tiled wall.
And a polite voice from my back pocket said "Turn around where possible."
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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The toilets at a random cabin in Les Arcs said, and I quote,
‘….pull the door strangly….’
So I pulled it very strangely indeed. Seemed to work.
The Vignettes hut used to have a very interesting toilet - to use at night, walk holding rope quite a long way along cliff face. Enter toilet, lift cover to seat …huge blast of cold air and sense of vast space beneath toilet - which there was…nothingness….
You can see the old site of this on the right of the hut - they now have inside toilets
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vignettes_Hut#/media/File:Vignettes.jpg
Nice site/sight
https://www.redbull.com/au-en/8-wildest-toilets-worth-holding-out-for
Last edited by And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports. on Mon 23-01-23 21:11; edited 3 times in total
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@Orange200,
Some of the toilets in the Portes du Soleil have been pretty bad this week. Two different ones have been entirely missing fushes - but have still been "open for business". Soap also fairly rare.
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You know it makes sense.
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Toilet seats are pretty unhygienic, actually, unless constantly cleaned well. All those nooks and crannies. And especially for chaps who politely feel the need to lift them up. Squat loos are most hygienic (and lots of people feel the need to "hover" over conventional WCs) but it's just that we Westerners are pathetically unable to squat.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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And yet just over the border in Switzerland the public loos are always, and in my experience always does mean always, very clean and everything working just as you would like it to.
What is it about the French and their loos?
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Poster: A snowHead
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Does a turdis / portaloo count?
Worst was when I was at an event, camping in Kansas in 37C heat. They don't have a sprung flap like UK/EU ones, so you get to see and contribute to the entire communal cairn. Had to do your daily business by 7am, else you could feel the updraft as the whole bog warmed up.
Only beaten by the portabog we hired in Lincolnshire for another event, that flipped over when a storm squall came over the field, fortunately not when it was occupied. Blue and poo frickin' everywhere. Couldn't even get within 10m of it upwind to assess the damage without chundering, so the workers that had to come collect it truly deserved the cleanup penalty that we got billed.
Worst I recall in a ski resort was probably Les Gets.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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@valais2, the Vignettes hut bogs certainly would have been my top choice. During daylight hours you could look through the hole and see a literal pile of 541t on the glacier hundreds of feet below
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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@Timmycb5,
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“two foot pads and a hole in the ground” kind of toilet
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Far less bovver wiv a hover
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Cervinia, around the time when the euro was introduced, the toilets by the main gondola in town were so filthy they left a vivid memory. hole in ground is a nightmare for women.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Totally unskiing related, but nearly 30 years ago we went trekking in Nepal. We decided to rate the facilities out of 10 in each place we stayed, with the basic sit down flushing toilet with seat in Kathmandu as 10. Very quickly got down to .5! There were 2 really memorable ones - first was a hut with a hole in the ground with a wooden seat, and a pile of leaves beside it to use as paper, and sprinkle down the hole to cover things up, and the second was literally a long drop - a wooden platform with a hole in it, over a very long drop off the cliff edge.
Went back 25 years later, and nearly everywhere had proper toilets - it was kind of disappointing!
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You'll need to Register first of course.
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After being pampered with fantastic facilities in every single stop (whether that be in the villages or up on the hill) in Austria I'm dreading our upcoming trip to PDS.
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After being pampered with fantastic facilities in every single stop (whether that be in the villages or up on the hill) in Austria I'm dreading our upcoming trip to PDS.
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@Harrow lady, I went to Cervina the week before Christmas. They still have "2 plates and a hole" toilets in at least 2 lift stations. Even thought they were reasonably clean, it's not easy for a female, especially when there's nowhere to put your bag/gloves whilst you wrestle with holding your clothing well out of the way .
Austria has the best toilets.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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| rungsp wrote: |
What is it about the French and their loos? |
You don't think they use them do you? They are just a joke for tourists.
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The toilets in the Dolomites are plentiful and the best I’ve ever encountered anywhere. A big positive for that area 
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Indian railways. Squat toilet at 60mph rocking from side to side...dropping straight onto the tracks.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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| skimummk wrote: |
Can I just say that the toilets at Cretes in Les Deux Alpes were the most disgusting I have EVER encountered in 30+ years of skiing.
We spent 60e on lunch at the downstairs bar sat outside and therefore weren’t allowed to use the toilets upstairs and were directed to a porto cabin which made festival toilets look like luxury facilities- urghh |
As I recall, the public toilets at Cretes are composting toilets, which are supposed to be better for the environment than conventional ones.
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| Hurdy wrote: |
| Indian railways. Squat toilet at 60mph rocking from side to side...dropping straight onto the tracks. |
A lot of European trains were like that when I was interrailing
British trains did as well but they weren't squat loos.
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You know it makes sense.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Went to a place in Austria last year, was at least 5 years i'd say since it was retiled, the hand dryers weren't dyson, no smelly stick thigs, no hand lotion. Absolutely horrific. Wont be going back there.
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Poster: A snowHead
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@valais2,
I did the Haute Route in the early 80' .Thankfully did not have to use it in the early hours in an emergency, having to get dressed in ski gear, facing that experience , makes one dose up with immodium, can't think of the equilavent in those days.
Though we we did have a early start.to do our next stage around 6 I think when I did pay a visit quite an experience.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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@hobbiteater,
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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| Quote: |
| Went to a place in Austria last year, was at least 5 years i'd say since it was retiled, the hand dryers weren't dyson, no smelly stick thigs, no hand lotion. Absolutely horrific. Wont be going back there. |
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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| Quote: |
no smelly stick thigs
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One of the lavs I went to use in Flaine most DEFINITELY had a smelly stick poking up out of it... looked like you'd need to take a bread-knife to it, and whoever left it there probably needed medical attention
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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@Hurdy, another strong shout
@Forst, let’s just say I had a slightly upset tummy when I stayed in the Vignettes. By the end of the night I think I was just putting a fleece on and skittering along the path in hut slippers. I did lose about 7kg in belly fat over a 2 week trip though
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You'll need to Register first of course.
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Since we have had some thread drift towards loo stories in general:
1983 and I am one of the very first independent back packers allowed into China.
One loo really stood out.
Large room, a squared trench thing right down the middle, about 20cm deep.
All the men (many men) squatting over it, no privacy at all, totally open room.
Men were squatting facing each other conducting long conversations between loud, very loud, grunting...and everyone was smoking.
Do what you do, wipe what you wipe (BYO), and leave it there in open air in the trench along with many other deposits.
Every 15 minutes or so a cistern at one end released a tidal wave of water that flowed down the trench and swept it all away.
One for the diary!
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| skimummk wrote: |
Can I just say that the toilets at Cretes in Les Deux Alpes were the most disgusting I have EVER encountered in 30+ years of skiing.
We spent 60e on lunch at the downstairs bar sat outside and therefore weren’t allowed to use the toilets upstairs and were directed to a porto cabin which made festival toilets look like luxury facilities- urghh |
Can second this. We were there on Thursday 12th Jan and although I didn't use the facilities my friend did and really wasn't impressed! Very much an outlier as everywhere else we went in L2A was lovely
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When we head out we always rate every toilet as a bit of fun. 0-5 bog brushes. Whenever someone uses the toilet they have to report back to the rest of the group on their rating. Top toilets needs all the basics such as sit down toilet with seat, bog roll, hot waer in taps, soap, working hand dryer etc but also that je ne sais quoi. Examples we have found are ambient nature noises and mosaics. Also considered is access. We have all had to head down to a basment toilet in ski boots using a slippery ceramic staircase.
I feel we should have published our findings so far.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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@turboblackbeard, Based on your scale and description, I reckon most toilets in Austria would score a 3 or 4, assuming that 5 is pretty much reserved for fancy hotel lobbies that most of us won't see. None are so horrific as to be memorable, but there are small annoyances such as poor access, no hot water, no soap (particularly annoying during corona, with all the signage about washing hands) etc. Axamer Lizum has just refurbished their loos at the new base station and although they have installed two banks of sinks in the ladies, they only added soap dispensers to one side  . On average though, I think there are more facilities available compared to France, so they are less crowded and you never have to go far to find one.
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| turboblackbeard wrote: |
We have all had to head down to a basment toilet in ski boots using a slippery ceramic staircase.
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Except if you're in one of those few select locations that have a fun slide down to the basement toilet! 
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