Ski confessions

A snowHead

So we all know the rules, have you broken any and do you want to confess?
To kick start this...
Thou shall always ski in control
Beautiful blue sky very cold March morning, first run of the morning a lovely red run at the top of the Fornet glacier. As usual I was faffing around so the rest of my merry band had got well ahead of me, a good time to practice my "tuck", imagine my surprise when I got round the first bend to find I had caught the first of them up, it was only as I overtook them I realised how fast I was going (relatively!) and now I was approaching the roller, I didn't dare brake as I was convinced I would catch an edge. As I took off on the top of the roller I had no doubt it would end with a "yard sale" and heaven help anyone who got in the way as there was no way I could avoid them. To my amazement I landed it, and got to the lift with my heart pounding.
But I'm not seeking absolution for skiing out of control but rather for enjoying it sooo much, the sense of exhilaration was incredible, although I have no doubt I was only going a fraction of the speed the racers were going for the first time I could understand the urge to race! snowHead

A snowHead

Well not so much a confession ...
I got told of for "Skiing out of control" ... on a powder day in Park City.

How could that teetotal Mormon understand ... I was just enjoying myself

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

Oh, dear, if you must,...

End of season saisonnaires race in a resort that shall not be named...

I shot round a blind (ish) corner at full chat (long enough ago that I was on 203s) and discovered an elderly (to my youthful eye) couple having a chat mid piste.

Luckily they were adequately far apart that I didn't collide with anyone as I tore through in between them.

Callow, thoughtless, reckless idiot of a youth that I was.

My team won, as it happens...

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under a new name, similar experience but old enough at the time to know better. Last run of the day in PDS running down to Ardent but before got to Lindaerts from Avoriaz side down the blue through the woods at high speed, round a corner going to fast; group in middle of piste try to stop and end up nonchalantly standing between a pair of them; could have been a nasty collision.

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my turn....

second weeks skiing in Selva with my new girlfriend (later to be wife) and her group of friends family who had more weeks skiing than i had hours.

Sure i can do Dantercepes, no problem. Let them go a bit in front (for let read i couldnt keep up). They stopped in a group about 2/3 of the way day down about 600 yards ahead/below i point the skis down the hill and show willing...

Way way over my speed/control threshold i get close and put in a hockey stop (did lots of speed skating so that it was easy) but as i am skidding to a vaguely controlled stop i hift a little bump and get some air. Due to the rotational effect of the hockey stop i spin through 360 degrees and amazingly (and through 100% luck) i land it.

Never admitted it was fluke and was seen as a skiing god for the remainder of the trip.

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Lost the plot completely in carp light, sudden steep dip, hit a bump landed on my face still rotating, goggles covered in snow, somehow had kept skis on during flight, sneaky ninja shoulder roll, somehow ended up on feet travelling across the trail, quick goggle wipe whilst still moving and skied away like i'd done it on purpose! I have no idea how I kept going I'm really not known for my athleticism. Very Happy

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Lots of confessions from last season, I have posted it before but, this was our out takes from only 2 weeks filming last season, god knows what we would have got after a whole season Shocked

http://youtube.com/v/sQSoMdVnNyc

After all it is free

On board on the blue into plagne centre (you know the one that funnels down into 'danger alley' facing towards the beginner area above/under ucpa)..

doing a nice lazy turn..look up and there is sexy madame skiing nicely towards me..she ends up one ski either side of my thigh wrapped pretty tightly around me.. we fall to the floor gazing into each others eyes..

'cunard' she says in my ear, gets up, skis away and I don't get a number Sad

Not sure this is a good thread. Don't mean to be wet blanket but any of us who have brought our kids skiing will have no time for any out-of-control or too-fast skiing. This forum should be trying to discourage, not glamourize that

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I think you need to change your handle to patrick sheesh...

Once blagged my way onto a closed lift by claiming I'd badly injured my leg. Saved a hefty taxi fare!

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Mate and I were leaving Courchevel after an early lunch. We'd left boards leaning against a fence when we'd arrived and by the time we left, about 20 pairs of skis had joined our kit leaning there. I grab my board which clips the set of skis next to it, causing the inevetable chain reaction/cascade/avalanche of high-end ski gear, akin to the traditional "choppers outside the biker bar" scene.

Being responsible mountain users, we did the honourable thing and ran away, safe in the knowledge that any irate owner would have to unpick their kit from the massed jumble of ski jenga allowing us a good head start.

patricksh, as to the good idea-iness of this thread, we may not all be role-models, but we can all be warnings from history...

snow reports

I while back I was in a large French ski resort. One evening me and Mrs_W were watching some ski reps/guides (from various UK TO’s) doing parallel slalom races to find out who was the best ski rep/guide.

Of the over 30 there, one of them hadn’t turned up and so they asked me (as the only person who could speak English and still had their ski gear on at 7pm) to join the competition.

Quote (from the big boss of the ski reps) “Don’t worry about it, just try and ski round the poles, and if you fall over, get up and keep skiing down and don’t worry about the speed as everyone else here is an expert” Laughing

After going through the 7 rounds of knock-out races, I won, although Mrs_W said I should give the medal to the chap who came 2nd – sod that; it’ mine. NehNeh

I love ski reps and ski guides, they make me smile. wink

Is this really a confession? Well yes I was on holiday and I had sat there at dinner whilst the ski guide explained (totally wrongly) to me how I should be able to move from my present snow-plough stage into carving.

Wayne, That's a classic tale... Priceless.

Off topic completely... I understand rules for working in a Ski School in Italy as a foreigner are very similar to that of France.

There doesn't seem to be much info readily available on 'tinternet.

Could you point me in the right direction as to where to look?

Sorry to hijack the thread...

I'll contribute....confessions...hmmmmm....doing 'it' in the bubble lift in La Plagne... that was fun... Embarassed

You know it makes sense.

I missed 2 ski days due to hangovers last season, and 4 the season before that. I deserve to be strung up Crying or Very sad

I also got completely lost on my home hill and had to ski down a sledge track to get to the village, I ruined my bases, and a friends too as we ran out of snow halfway down. Embarassed

Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:

A snowHead

spud,
It's not the same as France. Over there they have a rule about this, that and the other. Here every region has their own rules.
This even goes up as far as the ISIA.
I'll give you an example; if you read the new ISIA guidelines on the euro test (I forget what their calling it now) you'll notice that our area (Trentino) is excluded from the rules. Not a clue why, maybe someone who runs a ski school has a son who can't pass, or they just don't like being told what to do by the Frenchies, who knows.
It's the same all over. There is a company called Interski that employs loads of BASI's. Fair enough, but they simply couldn't do it in other areas. They must have some sort of deal with the locals.
The rules also change all the time, depending on which side of bed someone gets out off.

The basic rule is that you need to be able to ski as good as the local instructors - they WILL watch you when you arrive.
Next rule you need to know someone - ok that's not official but it helps in reality.
Next you need BASI L2 to work for a few weeks - unless you're Polish with an L1 grrrrrrrrr Mad

(don't ask, it all to do with money).
You need L3/4 to work full season in a ski school, again - unless you're Polish with an L1 grrrrrrrrr Mad

Unlike in France an L4 cannot start up a ski school as you need a special license to do this (and the politics of getting one are horrendous)
An L4 can contact the local AMSI to tell em they are coming with a group and they will get no problems; don't stick to this rule and you'll get arrested.
You're best off being able to speak the local lingo enough to be able to at least teach beginners

Best bet is the start sending out emails now (in Italian and English). All the schools need english speakers and are recruiting around now, to every ski school you can find. The AMSI website will give you a link to loads of em, and also the tourist info websites for each town/area.

Good luck

A snowHead

Wayne, Cheers mate, for the comprehensive answer.

Very Italian then... Laughing

No wonder i was finding it difficult...

I'd love to instruct in Italy, and was aware of the Interski set up, but I would want to do a full season.

I'm CSIA 2, CSCF and CADS.

I was going to take my Test Technique in November as well if all goes well.

My Italian is very limited though... Sad

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

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Then there was the time after a quick pit stop grab my skis and poles to catch up with my mates. It was only when sitting on the lift that it occurred to me that I didn't own any adjustable ski poles.... judging by the setting the true owner was a giant! Dashed back to reestaurant but my poles had gone...spent the rest of the week watching out fora giant skiing like a hunchback! Laughing

Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.

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Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...

I laugh at adult beginners, it's not very nice, but I do.

After all it is free

Mosha Marc, No I think it was definitely 'cunard'. She was a straight liner. Toofy Grin

There's a cafe somewhere around Morzine, with a sunken outdoor terrace, just at the end of a run somewhere - might be up around Nyon-ish.

Anyway. I came to a dramatic hockey stop just outside it, in a triumphant spray of snow, unclipped my skis - Didier Cuche'd both of them simultanously into my hands, snapped my fingers at the waitress, and she immediately brought a bottle of champag.... oh no. Hang on, let me start that again.

I tried to come to a dramatic hockey stop just outside, fluffed it, and fell sideways into the sunken terrace, landed with a massive painful clatter on the floorboards (partially breaking a ski in the process), sheepishly got up and ordered a beer. It later dawned on me how dangerous it would have been if I'd landed on a person rather than my own arse - especially a kid Skullie

Next day went to the ski shop to claim that the ski damage had been there all along, and had them replaced. Twisted Evil

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I managed to ski over the roof of a cow shed near Avoriaz and ended up in the muck heap.

Not that I was out of control I'll have you know - it is generally accepted that I have a very poor sense of direction. Embarassed

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Mr Piehole,' Anyway. I came to a dramatic hockey stop just outside it, in a triumphant spray of snow, unclipped my skis - Didier Cuche'd both of them simultanously into my hands, snapped my fingers at the waitress, and she immediately brought a bottle of champag.... oh no. Hang on, let me start that again. '

Laughing

Simultaniously... Shocked

I'd love to see that done Laughing

snow reports

I once tried snowboarding Embarassed

Fattes13,

get your coat

You know it makes sense.

Aw, I like this thread.

patricksh, over there is a grip. Go get it wink

Unfortunately I don't think I have done anything worth mentioning. Plenty of silly stuff that turned out fine, but nothing to have you in stitches with hilarity.

Oh actually, maybe this one:

Last Christmas in ADH. Snowing heavily and very limited visibility, flat light. Going down one of the green runs in the bowl just above the town. I am going quite slowly.

Suddenly I catch an edge, put a hand down and scythe UP the slope and crash into a poor beginner skier lady. The poor beginner skier lady asks me if I am ok. I am and ask the same of her but I am too surprised by the whole thing to apologise! She probably had no idea how much that was my fault.

Or this one:

Going along a flat bit, quite slowly and running out of speed. Inch past another snowboarder, some distance to the side. Maybe 1 to 2 meters to my side. I hit a new bit of downhill and start picking up a tiny bit more speed. The snowboarder guy picks up more speed cos he is a fatty.

I am going in a straight line still. Snowboarder guy overtakes me, then immediately turns into me and is on my board. I do the (not very) decent thing and push him off me. He goes along for a few metes after I push him, has a wobble and falls over looking exceedingly surprised and annoyed. I board off, trying to suppress my snigger.

Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:

Once cruising back down into VT I was skiing down a very gentle bit of piste that merges with another. Suddenly out of nowhere a lady appears to one side, speed perfectly matched but obliviously skiing into me too close to avoid. So I sort of pick her up to avoid us falling in a tangle of limbs whilst carrying on, get her sorted out and put her down on the ground again before angling away. I don't think you could have had a more smooth 'catch and release' without loosing any speed if we'd been practicing it.

The other one I've mentioned before and involves a slightly bulky pack I couldn't be bothered taking off and a chairlift. Somehow I managed to boost the guy next to me off the chair just as we loaded so he was unceremoniously dumped on one side whilst the rest of us sailed on uphill. Embarassed

A snowHead

In the very early days of novice hire skis I had hired 'yellow ones' I was half way through a lesson when I realised that I had taken the wrong skis from the communal ski locker room. I couldn't make the foreign instructor understand that I needed to take them back, and in the finish completed the lesson on them. I raced them back to the locker room and would have got away with it if their owner hadn't have appeared after I got them stood up and wondered why they were dripping with snow. I felt guilty and owned up Embarassed

A snowHead

just remembered another couple.

On a fast run down into st martin de b a couple of years ago wih BIL. Eyballed a gaggle (dont think thats the correct collective noun) a group of SnowBoarders in the middle of the widest piste in the world, just having a chat and catching the Rays...

Quick nod to James (the BIL) and I go straight towards them at full tilt before putting in a huge (by my standards) skidded turn past th em showering them with snow on one side..

As you would do most of the party turn their heads away from said snow spray, only to be met by a larger spray of snow from BIL who got the other of them about half a second later, didnt stop laughing for about 25 minutes. Mostly because we were legging it as ar away from the scene of the incident as fast as we could go.

Not strictly skiing but 2003 me and said BIL (above) where in Courchevel staying in the hotel above what was (but is sadly no longer) Bar le Jump. it was in the days when you could blue tooth a message directly to someone elses phone (before the days of security). We spent the whole evening "gay chatting" a couple of blokes. It was a long and hillarious evening, but boring if you weren't there, apart from the grand finale. We had basically been letting this bloke think that we were another man in a leather jacket at the other side of the bar, he was getting up to leave so we messaged, "leaving now, see you outside" I still remember the interestng discussions about 2 minutes later outside the bar. Nobody was injured and i know it wasn't a particularly grown up joke, but damn me it was funny at the time.

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

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The other year I was ski repping for a school group. I am a very average intermediate but most of the kids think I am good as they don't know any better.

One morning, I decided to ski with the 'advanced' (british) teenagers, who had be talking up their adventures on blacks and off piste. The gentle pace on the blacks and the snails pace progress off piste, hampered by one or other of them falling over every 30 seconds led to a bit of banter.
While on a red run, there is a steep pitch followed by a flat section, so you really have to schuss. I generally ski at the back of the group. One of the lads just in front of me caught an edge on the steep and royally stacked it. I contemplated slowing down but then ruthlessly flew past him with a quick 'you ok?'. He was fine but had to do a walk of shame for the entire flat section. There was much teasing from his peers, the instructor and me. A few of the lads noted that I had not fallen over that morning, and with some smugness I agreed.
About 5 minutes later, we did some 'just off piste' through the trees on a route Id not done before. I just blindly followed at the back. The little route was narrow and fast, and then takes a sharp 90 degree turn back towards the piste. I carry on, safe in the belief that all willbe well...and I fail to notice that there is a lip and then maybe a foot or so drop onto the piste. Not prepared to take air, I sail through the air with a slightly surprised look on my face and then land, catch an edge and collapse in a heap. The entire group and the instructor were waiting for me in a nice line at the other side of the piste. Laughing. Oh the shame. At least the lad who had fallen on the steep felt better!

Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.

Whilst we are confessing.... I cut the nose off the Camembert. I guess I will go to Hell. Twisted Evil

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I fell over in Line-up once, and took two other instructors with me! Embarassed

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My sister in law was in ski school and the instructor was talking to the class about their techniques and said something akin to "look at that bloke coming down the slope towards us, he's not looking down the mountain, he's skiing with his shoulders and doesn't use his poles, he's absolutely hopeless" To which my sister in law replied "THAT'S MY HUSBAND". Laughing

Twenty five years on and he ain't much better.

After all it is free

Ok then.....I like girls skis!

There! That was easier than I thought! Cool

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