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Getting MRS Smag to loosen up

 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
Can anyone recomend any good tips/websites/reading that is for getting newbie skiers to relax and get over their fears?

Mrs Smag came skiing with me for the first time last year and although she enjoyed the holiday, she found the skiing intimidating. Before going she took a course of lessons at Castleford and got to level 4. She enjoys the idea of gliding down blue runs, but when it comes down to it, she gets overtaken with fear. The worst part is the fear of ski lifts. She is worried that she is going to fall out. She realises that this is a totally irrational fear, but she cant help it.

Here is a clip of her sking down a gentle blue. As you can see, she has the basics in place, but just needs to relax.

http://youtube.com/v/9UKpRI0stSQ

Any advice on getting her to relax on the mountain would be great. I worry that if she does not enjoy it more, then she wil lose interest. We are going for another 5 days in a couple of weeks and I have booked her some one - one lessons. Fingers crossed she will get the bug and then we can look forward to many family holidays with our two young girls. If not it will be just me and my mates.

Cheers
Smag


Last edited by Poster: A snowHead on Fri 17-02-12 23:50; edited 1 time in total
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I'm not ski expert and I dunno what to do about the fear of lifts and how much it affects her enjoyment. However, Mrs Peura has skied at that sort of level, gradually progressing to slightly above there but still on gentle blues, for the last 6 seasons. She still enjoys it and feels she's happy continuing at that level. She too could do a lot more than she thinks but I've no wish to push to hard because I think failing (falling, or even going "too fast") too much would put her off more than lack of progress (not true of all people of course Wink ).

Also I think she'd quite like the look of where you're skiing, looks a little more scenic than where we go whilst still being do-able for her. She'd be happy doing that run (after the first time) Smile .

Not much help I'm afraid ...
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roofies?
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More seriously that's one of the worst ski runs I've ever seen in Europe. I wouldn't be terribly relaxed skiing that.
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fatbob wrote:
More seriously that's one of the worst ski runs I've ever seen in Europe. I wouldn't be terribly relaxed skiing that.


She was fine on this run after a couple of goes. I have shown her videos of the big wide blues at the top of the mountain and she said they look great. BUt how can I get her to relax and get on a ski lift? Any psychology tips anyone?
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smagsmith, My advice would be to have Mrs Smag join ski school for a week and ski with others at her own ski level, she just needs time and proper tuition. IMO spouses teaching their OH's is a recipe for fall-outs and it's an area I have long given up on.......leave to the experts is my best advice, she'll improve much quicker than trying to do it DIY!
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What sort of lifts are a problem? If it's just chairs then have a look for a resort which has some gondola accessed wider and less crowded blue runs which don't have a wall on one side and a drop off on the other! She's clearly avoiding going anywhere near the side of the piste in that video, and with the number of people on it she's probably constantly thinking about where they all are and where they're going. Not easy to relax in that situation.
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smagsmith wrote:
The worst part is the fear of ski lifts. She is worried that she is going to fall out. She realises that this is a totally irrational fear, but she cant help it.


Taker her somewhere where you can access blues and greens via drags? Somewhere like Crest Voland in the Espace Diamant could be good - we've had newbie guests with fear of heights/ski lifts and sent them there and it's worked really well for them. Gentle terrain and very quiet so a good place to build confidence too.
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Quote:

My advice would be to have Mrs Smag join ski school for a week and ski with others at her own ski level, she just needs time and proper tuition.

+1

or, if the chairlifts are an impossibility at the moment. somewhere where she can do quite a bit on drags, but with an instructor. Not just the odd session though - at least a week of lessons - probably more. If she went in the "next to beginner" group, that would probably suit her well. That run in the film is pretty busy - should be easy enough to find much quieter places than that.

Crest Voland is good, and there are some stiffer drag-lift served runs in the Arly Valley (though one or two of the drags are difficult - one is reputed to be the steepest in France.

Lessons, lesson, lessons.

(e.g. to get her ankles flexing).
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It's not irrational to be afraid of falling out of lifts, really. But again, getting on and off a chairlift with an instructor (who will also choose the right lifts) is good.
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For the fear of lifts, if she likes skiing, try taking her to Go Ape or similar, or climbing. After that fun, the chair lifts feel quite tame! Make sure you're always with her on the chair lift, don't fidget and get the bar down nice and early, and take it up only when you're above the catch net or the drop reduces massively. Avoid up and over type lifts - and start with short chair lifts so there's less risk of being stuck for a while...

For skiing fears, lessons, bribery with hot chocolate, and being more afraid of a thunderstorm than going "fast" got me going as a skiier (from being terrified of the open spaces).
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pam w wrote:
Quote:

My advice would be to have Mrs Smag join ski school for a week and ski with others at her own ski level, she just needs time and proper tuition.

+1

...If she went in the "next to beginner" group, that would probably suit her well. That run in the film is pretty busy - should be easy enough to find much quieter places than that.

+1

smagsmith, it's really lovely that you want her to enjoy the skiing, but it might be you that needs to relax (please take that in the right way!).

That video shows really nice skiing for an end of first week skier.

IMV Markymark29 is spot on - the biggest thing you can do is get her in group lessons of her own level and then, when you ski with her, keep the terrain well within her ability and confidence level (i.e. don't push her on to more difficult terrain just because you want to ski it).

I largely left MrsFS to get on with it when she first started skiing as I knew I'd mess it up if I tried to encourage her. 12 years later and I'm sometimes the person asking to go down gentler terrain or whinging because I'm tired.

In terms of the lift thing then a big thing to do is not to take her places that are high mountain. My experience of people who are nervous on chairlifts is that they're happier if they can relate to scale around them and they can see the end in sight - so short lifts, close to the ground and through tress, rather than those that have lovely sweeping vistas.

One thing I've done with friends in Morzine is to take them up chair lifts without skis on first as it takes away the fear of having to deal with the skis and they get a much more direct connection with the foot bar through boots than they would do from skis. I take them up the two chair lifts are the front of Pleney and then down in the gondola.
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+1 That the run looks awful. There are some runs that as a beginner you are better off avoiding altogether even if you can ski them. My parents are very competent skiers but avoid runs like that if its busy. If the only alternative way down is getting the lift then they will take the lift instead.

+1 for group lessons with a good ski school (Ask for some ski school/instructor recommendations on snowheads). It could be quite nice and helpful to meet and ski with people at a similar ability.

Try to scope runs on your own before you ski them together. I can think of little worse for a beginner than to be taken down a run which is far more difficult than they can ski. For example there are some blue runs that are more like reds if the conditions are challenging (eg ungroomed or bumpy). (Some resorts do daily grooming reports)

Don't be pushy. Have fun and let her progress at her own pace.

Not for everyone but if my spouse was learning to ski then I would probably start learning to snowboard or telemark. This way she might not feel as though she is holding you back and you both can share the experience from being beginners at the same time. But this will only help her if you have a good attitude to learning.

The only thing that I can think off to help relaxation whilst skiing (other than improving technique) is to focus on breathing. Nice deep breaths will help.

Maybe having a joke (and even smiling your way down the mountain) could help her to relax. Remember that the number one rule in skiing is to have fun. If your not having fun then IMO you are doing it wrong.
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Elston,
Quote:

Nice deep breaths
Particularly if on the diaphragm (not the chest) and focusing on the out breath.
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Quote:

Not for everyone but if my spouse was learning to ski then I would probably start learning to snowboard or telemark. This way she might not feel as though she is holding you back and you both can share the experience from being beginners at the same time.

I think that's a good idea. it's always fun to learn something new, and it nice for the beginner skier not to be the only one falling over. Salutary lesson remembering what it's like to be a beginner, too - especially on narrow, crowded, runs!
Quote:

In terms of the lift thing then a big thing to do is not to take her places that are high mountain.

+1. I am not nervous of chairlifts, and normally have no particular problem with heights or mountains. But I have felt quite intimidated by my surroundings sometimes - for example in Tignes, and Les Deux Alpes, where you are up a depth - and surrounding by rock/scree/crags. If the weather is a bit dour, you can end up wanting to run straight into the nearest place for a vin chaud.

Even if you are on a chairlift going up to what you "know" is a gentle run, if it's taking you over ravines and cliffs, it can be nerve-wracking.
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 Poster: A snowHead
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and another thing..... if you want to be empathetic with someone who's scared of chairlifts, strap on a snowboard! Twisted Evil
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Some great advice everyone. Many thanks

A couple of things
Last year she had lessons in Bansko. The first two days she was the only one in the group and really enjoyed it. The 3rd day she had some other skiers with her and she felft intimidated. It was also a different instructed and that did not help. She much preferred 1 to 1 lessons. So this time she is booked in for some more 1 to 1 lessons.

She skied the run in the video quite confidently by day 2, but her fear of the lifts is putting her off going up to find the wider blue runs.

I like the idea of a short lift to get her started. There is a nice short, tree lined, lift that leads to a nice blue that loops back to the same lift so she could enjoy that.

Last year I did not spend much time with her on the slopes, so I am not pushing her too hard. We skied the run on the video a few times and she enjoed it despite it being quite busy.

Finally... no chance of getting me on a board again. I tried it in Tigne in December and lets just say it is not for me.... Very Happy

Many thanks for all your replies

Cheers
Smag
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Quote:

no chance of getting me on a board again. I tried it in Tigne in December and lets just say it is not for me....

how long did you give it, compared to what your Mrs has given to her skiing? wink
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Time, lessons, and a lot of understanding are what she needs.

But if she does decide it's not for her, you can still take the kids skiing; they'll enjoy the time with their Dad.
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Here's a few ideas....

http://youtube.com/v/3zgQGfBOnh8
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Hi, I was(am) a nervous skier with a fear of heights so I understand what Mrs Smag is going through. I got over my fear of chairlifts by never looking down, always looking ahead to see where I am going and on the whole I'm not so bothered by them now (after 4 years of skiing holidays). I have benefitted from one to one lessons with instructors and from going regularly to our local dry slope to get some miles under my ski boots. I will never be someone who looks at a black run and thinks that seems like fun, but I can tackle reds with confidence and I seem to be getting faster and more relaxed. There is a course run in Les Deux Alpes called from Cautious 2 Confident run by Easiski which has been discussed on these boards before. Although I have not done this course, it could be a quick fix (and you could combine it with a family ski trip). Good luck.
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Is all else fails, there's always Stroh 80.
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If she's into reading try Inner Skiing:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Inner-Skiing-Gallwey/dp/0679778276/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1330000182&sr=1-1&tag=amz07b-21
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smagsmith, plenty of Gluhwein and a helmet should resolve
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smagsmith, Tell your other half that there are those of us on here that know exactly where she is at, and that she is not afflicted by ailment that no-one has ever suffered from before. I relate to her feelings entirely (as I'm sure do others) I am also living proof that with time she can overcome them. My cure was an EoSB and being dragged around the mountain by hoards of SH's who wouldn't let me be scared - a stiff drink didn't hure either. Even now my BF reckons I am a guhwein short of being a skier. However, an EoSB, might be too much a baptism of fire for your OH. However, Butterfly organises a cautious to confident week with Easiski in LDA (IRRC) and that happens, I think, in March. A look at the search function will find the mentions. This has received good reviews in previous years (though I've not personally been) and might be useful to her - you could PM Butterfly to ask about it. Practically I would advise a stiff drink - no need to get senseless, but I find it really helps, and maybe get her to concentrate on something else as she skis. I always ski better when I'm watching my kids in front of me and I've seen instructors wait down the hill and ask you how often they have raised their ski pole as you have slid down. It's not about getting the answer right - it's about making you concentrate on something else in front of you and looking up as you ski.
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Lessons. She must be exhausted. No movement at all and you can see the inside (wrong) edge of the inside ski cutting into the snow as she snowploughs. Once she gets some movement into her legs she will relax and save bundles of energy.
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thanks Guys. All advice is gratefully received. Mrs Smag has read this thread and it is helping

Cheers
Mr Smag
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I think she skis really well wink

Improving skiing can be a long old road, but it's gotta be fun all the way or it's no fun at all.

I don't like to rip-off books I've read online, but on this occasion maybe it'll help :

"Learning research has shown that people learn most quickly if they remain in their comfort zone - the state in which a person is not intimidated by their environment or the task." - The All-Mountain Skier, second edition, R. Mark Elling. A great book for intermediates-advanced, but solid guidance throughout for all levels really. Recommended reading.

Good luck with the progress! Have fun!
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The Smags

I learnt as a teenager in Bulgaria on a run like that -complete nightmare having a huge drop to one side of a narrow run.

Took my family to Kronplatz this year and encountered a fantastic learning slope called Miara. It's 2 km long, pretty flat gradiant and served by a Gondola. It's the first run out of St Vigilio. My 5 year old had private tuition (good value relative to other places we'd been) and progressed really well without the faff of drag lifts followed by a short nursery slope run, and repeat.

No doubt there are other similar places but this was one of the best (least intimidating) beginner slopes that I've seen.

If you put Miara Kronplatz into youtube you will get some videos to get the picture
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If ski lifts are a large part of the problem perhaps the Scandinavian resorts which are largely button or anchor rather than chair or gondola might be worth looking into?
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Thanks for all the tips. This years trip was a good step forward for the OH. She did far more runs than last year and even semi conquered her fear of chair lift. She took a lot of points mentioned above with her and they help massively. So thanks everyone for your input and we are now planning next years trip.

Cheers
Smag
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smagsmith, aw, that's nice. Happy Birthday!
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Pedantica, than you
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smagsmith, Excellent news - Happy birthday!
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Happy birthday smagsmith snowHead
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Thanks for the Happy birthday wishes
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