 Poster: A snowHead
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Well folks, due to popular request!!!
If you are a complete numpty plum and cannot speak the lingo shout loudly abroad Brit skier, my view is that we should carry a laminated card, postcard size with useful phrases on it in say Italian or French, unless of course you are skiing in Austria or Germany ect ect.
What useful phrases would you recommend, i will start with a few
1) Oi Garcon, two large beers please
2) I am lost which way do i go
3) What do you mean, you dont serve bitter
4) These ski boot things really hurt my feet
5) Do you do coco pops with moo cow milk
6) Large pizza and chips please
7) Does it matter which ski goes on which foot
Fill your boots folks 
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Oi Cinquante Centime - pull those kecks up!
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Where do I live
Whats my name
Why am I cold
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Timbobaggins, German would be better for most of the Dolomites as Suedtirol is a German speaking area 
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Bonjour Monsieur, pouvez vous s'il vous plaît me donner des directions à l'Autriche où on trouve la meilleure bière et des jolies filles avec des sourires grands etc etc
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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I've been looking for the green piste but they all look white. Please tell me where to go.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Also..
I ski all the runs on the mountain, including the pink ones!
I ski all the runs on the mountain, including the brown ones!
Fancy coming back to my room and getting jiggy?
Is there somewhere near that sells decent beer for less money?
I know it's only a stubbed toe but I have insurance please get a helicopter to get me off the mountain.
What do you mean you only sell small beers?
What, I needed winter tyres and chains to drive up this road?
I'm one of those secret millionaires and just checking to see which resort I'd like to buy, while I am here can I buy you a drink?
An internet forum told me to buy a helmet and rocker ski's can you help me choose please?
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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And...
The gentleman over there is paying the bill.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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I don't want your "plat du jour", thanks. I had it yesterday as it was the cheapest thing on the menu, but I didn't like it. How much is a spag bol?
Do you have a toilet which isn't down four flights of wet stairs?
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France – to order some lunch
How much is that (as pointing at something)
No ? really, how much is it
No, not all of them just one (point with a jab motion)
Really (with incredulous intonation)
Sod that
What can I buy with this (hold out hand containing all holiday money)
Italy – to book a hotel room
I would like to book at room please (on telephone)
I have already sent an email, 4 weeks ago
I have already sent an email, 3 weeks ago
I have already sent an email, 2 weeks ago
I have already sent an email, 1 week ago
Yes I sent a copy by post
I flew over to your hotel last week and hand delivered a copy
It’s not necessary as I have painted a copy of the email on the front of your hotel
Can you see the envelop attached to the reception desk with a 6 inch nail
Yes that was me between you and your wife in bed last night
Ok, I'll send an e mail
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You know it makes sense.
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Wayne, Maybe the Hoteliers don't want your 'normal' guests 
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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'I can only apologise for my friend, it must be the altitude/jet lag/local beer.'
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Poster: A snowHead
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I made up a laminated card in 4 languages for an accident with all the details. The rest I can get by with.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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"Have you seen a small child aged <select> - last seen going down that black slope shouting
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD"
and the next year
"Have you seen a small child aged <select> - last seen going down that black slope shouting
DAAAAAAAAAD KEEEEEEEEEP UUUUPPP UUUUUUU RRRRRR TOOOOOO SLOOOOOOOOW"
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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How much is that anorak?
Do you have a more ridiclous hat please?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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is it going to snow?
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Love it! LOL
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sanman, everyone knows the answer any reputable resort rep will give you will be....
"yeah we are scheduled a real dump of snow on wednesday"
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ansta1, I can't imagine that one works any more now that the world and its dog has a smartphone.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Lizzard, yeah i have one of those, which tells me what the weather is like ... today. So now i can avoid that awkward and time-consuming chore of looking out of the window. 
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sanman, you have an application which only tells you what the weather is like right now? The utter pointlessness is almost on a par with that tomcat which repeats everything you say in a funny voice.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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| Freddie Paellahead wrote: |
| I've been looking for the green piste but they all look white. Please tell me where to go. |
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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Them - Will I be OK going down this red run here?
Me - I have no idea, having never met you before
Them - I can do parallel turns
Me - I refer the honorable lady to my previous answer
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FAQ
