 Poster: A snowHead
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I apologise now for spelling/grammar errors.
i thought i,d share my memories of my first ski trip with you, i have been on many more since you wonder why?! after this story.
In short my thoughts on first skiing trip was " i hated it"
i remember vividly sitting on the bench on sturry platform ( december 23rd 2001) thinking what am i doing, i really dont want to be on that bench, i,m there because of my wife,who had been persuaded to go as part of a group for 2 weeks to Val Thorens, i was at that time used to beach holidays, hot weather cold beers/wine etc.. against my wishes i,m sitting next to a very excited lady , bring it on
anyway with our 2 cases, i stress this as this is relevant later, we arrive at Ashford euro tunnel, i perk up as i see the bar where were meeting,quickly things go wrong when i see the amount of bags our friends have brought  bloody hundreds,definately not one each ,these bags which i would spend the next few hours helping lug on and off trains/coaches/buses etc... miserable git i hear you think,well the reason for the gloom was that i had just been told it was a no smoking terminal and worse no smoking train, 10 hours no fags,help,
anyway were on the train now things are looking up,until most of the group were with opt for coffee from the drinks bar!!! my wife at least joined me for a drink and our good friend had a shandy later
after a few hours most people had gone to sleep,except me i hate sleeping on planes trains etc manily because i can,t i decide to head back to the drinks bar, when i got there things immediately picked up as i smelt smoke, a quick discussion with a fellow reveller revealed that the "conductor" !! had been bribed and he had advised us that he would pass through the cabin every hour on the hour, and not before/after, and he had also mentioned he had a bad sense of smell  Fantastic a few hours of beers and fags
on arrival at moutiers my work out began my BAG lifting workout i joke not each person had 3 bags each. on the trip up the mountain i admit to being a little disappointed at the lack of snow, i expected 10 feet on the rooftops etc ( it actually wasnt a bad early start, as i now know to the ski season, Val had 50 and 90 )
now began the 3 trips around Val thorens each time getting off with the bags and then getting on again as we couldnt find our chalet, i have painfully now realised my friend/pistemap reader cannot do either,at that time i was blissfully unaware. finally we found the chalet and i went off to get provisions, came back with milk /bread, and beers,wife was pleased you can imagine the others reaction,well we unpacked quickly well more quickly than the others!!!!! and proceeded to ring our friends back at home beers and fags in hand announcing to anyone who would answer that we were "on top of the world "
ski hire and botts sorted we hit the slopes, well the green nursery run. nigel took sarah under his wing i get my best mate , now nigel may not be able to read a piste map but he can teach,whilst sarah skiied up and down ,i spent the first half a hour (felt longer and probably was) trying to get up, my mate said the first thing to learn was how to get up when one has fallen over without taking ones,s ski,s off!! by the time i had cracked this (only lasted a shortwhile !) i skiied off " turn " stuart shouted, i just had enough time to turn my head and enquire as to how,when i slid down into the netting dividing the piste,as i spat out snow and cleared my eyes i noticed my wife beaming at me, its important for you to know she is younger than me (11 years) and very competative.
the day ended with me managing to complete one up and down the green piste in the centre of val thorens a impressive start to my skiing career with a total vertical drop on the first day of about 250 meteres !!! my wife had she informed me done significantly more!!!! witch ( and that is a deliberate spelling mistake as it should begin with B )
NEXT DAY WAS LESSONS DAY
now being a busy time of the year we had to be divided up into groups there was as it turns out a mini ski off to decide the two beginner groups, my wife sailed into the A group, next up was me, to this day i still cannot explain it, i started skiing with both ski,s pointing downwards then slowly i turned to the side, stopped with both ski,s still parallell, a bloody parallell stop from nowhere, i proudly took up my place next to my wife !!!watching the other losers !!! try and get into the a group!!!
the lessons begun, and two things became apparent i was the 2ND worse skiier in the group and i didnt get on with button lifts!!. my fist attempt was after being squashed and pushed by 100.s of french kids it lasted 30 yards before i fell off, i looked round and the kind man ushered me back down for another go much to the disgust of the masses now increasing at this lift, i beat my first mark by i,d say 1 yard,before a nasty piece of ice dropped me again , a audible grown from the masses , to my surprise the man ushered me back down ,but this time i saw the slightest faintest smirk on his face, 8ASTARD
THE NEXT DAY in our groups we were put on a really long button lift, i held on for dear life, it was miles long with a small descent at the top ( oh dear) i would have made it but just let go a tad to early!! and a gust of headwind i later claimed later before i slid down and blocked the lift again, as as usual i tried repeatedly to get up without taking my skii,s off, it was how i was taught!!!!
next time on this lift i held on to long and was catapulted into the snow head first again, on my third attempt some lady made what was my first mistake and brought us both down!!!
NOW I AM LA DONKEY as mentioned earlier some time ago ( sorry) i was the 2nd worse skiier in the group, this was untill the two groups met up in the middle of the piste a few words in french were exchanged and my fellow bad skiier was transferred, i turned to my wife and mentioned the words above ! now this proceeded to knock my confidence even further, it was now me the last to go down each time , watching the others get peed off as i held them up, funnily enough things came to a head at a junction on the piste, to the right was the green back down to Val to the left was the blue, everyone bar me when asked wanted to ski the blue!, down they went with me following, slowly< for the final time i fell over, this time i,d gone , ski,s came off and the words i came out with are both unprintable and unspellable ! bless him our instructor started to climb up to help me, a combination of my wife yelling NO to him ( she knows me well)and him avoiding the ski poles i had launched at him convinced him to stop, go on without me i shouted, and they did, it then decended on me that i had to get down on my own.
that night i told the missus i was going to become self taught, she couldnt be bothered to argue with me, so what started was our normal rountine each morning i,d kiss her goodbye wish her luck , wait for her to disappear then head for my coffee bar with purchased paper in hand, i,d keep a close watch on the time to make sure i was at the restaurant for lunch, the coffee bar had been carefully chosen so that no one could see me NOT SKIING, of course i would lie horribly to everyone that things were going ok, my wife was having lessons morning and afternoons now ,she loved it
in the 2nd week the pretence continued and we moved chalets, this time we found it quickly we were joined by another skiier, going by the name of j pratt (true) and he was by name and nature  one time he proceeded to rubbish everyones guests they could have round, you know that game to play where you could invite anyone round, then one night he cooked his tartaflette, he was very proud of this as he continually told us, it was the first time my wife introduced me to the art of hiding food on a plate and making it look like you had made a good attempt, that night she decided she had had enough, get us home, she knew by now i had enough,
in short i rang the office spoke to one of my staff, and 24 hours later i was opening the door to our house ( bach 3 days early) it was then that i heard the noise,apon investigation it was the sound of water coming through the ceiling from a burst pipe. what followered was a great 3 months where the house we had brought (which needed work) had 50 k spent on it by our insurance company (sorry guys) thanks j PRATT !!
in conclusion i went skiing in feb with some business partners i had booked this before my experience and felt oblighed to go, in truth the business had paid for it too, it was when i saw them skiing i realised i wasnt that bad, finally on my 2nd day there i crcked it got the breakthrough , rang the missus to tell her the good news( she in later years admitted to a small tear, as had loved skiing and really thought we would never go again, i did whilst speaking to het then drop the phone and a kind mans had to ski down to get it for me, we have been every year now at least twice, and are booked in twice this year, we continue to bicker over who is the best (she is ) and i do love it although i do enjoy the drinking as much
i,m sorry for taking up your time and i havent checked any spelling !!!
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Enjoyed the story - enjoy your skiing!
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Excellent story!
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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I remember my first ski week was very rewarding but one of the most frustrating weeks of my life! It's like you see everyone relaxed doing nice controlled turns down the slope and then there's us, the beginners, falling on our back bottoms looking like right idiots hardly able to string a few turns together! All in all though, its great fun, but very challenging and hard work. Its well worth it though as by the end of the third day we were all skiing with much more confidence and able to do parallel turns albeit falling over a fair bit when the snow got a bit rough and bumpy, all great fun still!
By the end of the week, we were doing a bit of "off piste" powder skiing between marked runs which was a highlight for me, also doing a few skiing over small drops (2-3ft drops) which was great fun.
I'm booked in for my second week of skiing at the same place this December with my girlfriend who has never skied before... I have another full week of lessons and my aim for the week is to learn the basics to carving and hopefully do some mogul bumps, but I don't really know what will be on the agenda, all I know is its great fun and I can't wait to get back into a pair of skis in the mountains... exactly 2 months today and I'll be on the slopes!
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