 Poster: A snowHead
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Thought some light entertainment/embarrassment is in order, so to start this off:
A couple of years ago I was sharing a 2-person chairlift with a friend of mine who had learned to ski the previous winter and it was her first lift ride of her second holiday. Upon trying to exit the lift, she managed to cross the back of her skis - a bit like a reverse snowplough really. This resulted in her left ski crossing over my skis which sent both of us flying resulting in both of us landing flat out, face down in a heap on the exit area. Our skis were respectively crossed at the back and their tips came down in front of our heads (amazingly, no lingaments etc. were snapped in the process).
This resulted in two lift attendants sprinting out of their hut at high speed, stopping the lift and collecting us and assorted stuff which had gone off flying off the floor.
For the next two weeks of our holiday, they slowed down that chairlift every time they spotted us
(changing ski jackets didn't stop this either...) 
Last edited by Poster: A snowHead on Wed 11-08-10 22:20; edited 1 time in total
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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schneeflocke,  A large female friend, between me and her OH, failed to shuffle forward fast enough and didn't get on the chair. We had taken her arms to try to get her forward a bit quicker and when we left the ground she was hanging in between us - screaming, with the seat across her back. The lift attendants weren't very quick - it seemed ages before they stopped it, by which time the hefty lads who came to lift her down could barely reach her skis and my left arm could take no more. They got her down in the end, and as the two of us carried on up, we could still hear her.... not a happy bunny.
But you can shuffle too far. I watched a smallish child, around 8, on one of those magic carpet ones, in Avoriaz I think it was. Despite being told to stand still he insisted on stepping forwards and duly fell off the end before the chair arrived - he came to no harm but it probably took ages to get him out of the net. It was a "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" moment. The brat gets his comeuppance. 
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Loading onto White Pass, in Fernie, for those who know it - last day of my CSCF1, third straight powder day in a row (possibly third of the season, too,) and I'm exhausted. Had been totally sedentary all week as I'd re-aggravated my foot and rested it until day 1 of course, had been up late the night before, everything felt like stone. Moved out of the gates and got scooped up onto the chair with a friend, a nonstopper and the course conductor. I was skiing my 196 bros that day, and as the chair started to ascend I felt a tug at my feet. Looked down to see both tips dug firmly a few inches into the snow. As the chair rose, they started quickly levering me forwards, and as we got to about six foot in the air I had about a second before I got launched off my seat... so I threw myself forwards, pushing the lowering safety bar out of the way, and solidly faceplanted into the couple of inches of fresh snow under the chair. Bit winded, adrenaline and embarrassment gave me some energy, flailed a bit popping both skis off to get out of my heap and really appriciated my uberhardcore 916s being so hard to pole out of, walked back to the loading ramp, clipped my skis back on and sat on the next chair behind, with three guys who blatently (later confirmed) post on TGR.
Yeah, I'm awesome 
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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I've got a couple of these. Firstly a beginner friend of mine who let go of the poma on the nursery slope too soon and ended up more or less doing the whole uplift track backwards. Luckily there was no one behind him!
Secondly the diminutive friend who sometimes has to jump off chairlifts at arrival as her little legs are not long enough to reach the ground. She failed to do this once and went round the corner wailing at as all.
I guess it all adds a bit of excitement to a liftie's day!
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You'll need to Register first of course.
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To be honest I've had some shockers. Top of the list was Alpe d'huez on a four man chair. Was getting ready to get off and straps from my rucksack got snagged in back of chair, my mates got off and I tried to but I got caught, chair carried on back the other way and I was hanging from the chairlift, Q mates p%ssing themselves and liftie going nuts as he pulled me off (gumph). Not the greatest but after receiving a bollocking about not wearing my rucksack on the lift I completely ignored him and it happened again the next time up, not my finest hour!
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I am riding a 6-man chair, Pete is on my right. I am nervous of the chair, having had a few disagreements with them. I have been warned about his skis' magnetic attraction to those of his neighbours but put it to the back of my mind. Mary's on the other side of him and our other friends are on the outer seats. We arrive. I am too busy celebrating the fact that I am, for a brief moment, upright and skiing off. At that instant my ski tails take on a life of their own as they begin an intimate relationship with Pete's left ski and at the same time something similar is happening to Mary. The 3 of us play skittles. I am trying to work out how to get to my feet when I feel hands under my armpits and look round to see the liftie grinning at me "N..non, M'sieur, ... pas possible" I utter as I feel mself being hoisted. As I land on my feet like a toddler he retorts "si, Madame, c'est possible!" and wanders off chuckling as I recover!
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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| Quote: |
"N..non, M'sieur, ... pas possible" I utter as I feel mself being hoisted. As I land on my feet like a toddler he retorts "si, Madame, c'est possible!"
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a slim and rather lovely lift attendant (female) did that to a quite large (male) friend of mine who stacked it off a chair. She used her body weight and experience to hoist him apparently effortlessly to his feet. He didn't stop talking about it all day!
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Chairlift entry... the magic carpet... shuffle forwards... watch other people shuffle forwards too, to be sort of in line... shuffle forwards a bit more... shuffle backwards ready for chair and laugh as all the others frantically shuffle backwards when they realise where they're going 
Chairlift exit... was iirc the main 6person chair out of Les Gets bowl (Nauchets?)... from L to R as seated was old bloke, old lady (well both well in to 70's anyway), me, my brother, then fellow chalet occupant, (plus of course 1 spare seat, cos it'd have ruined someone's holiday to be split from friends for a very short 6man chair ride!). ANyway on exit, fellow chalet resident did the crossed skis thing, skied over my brother's skis (who amazingly got away unharmed), took me out, and one/both of us took out the old lady who with domino effect took out the old man too. The fellow chalet resident actually ended up on my left too by the time there was a heap of people on the ground, so had moved 2 seats to the Left.
Nobody harmed. But a big WTF moment. Lifty stopped the chair pretty quick.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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Four man slow chair, occupied by me, hubby and no 2 son. I am sitting in the middle. Exit chair to find family in the middle of the exit run. My son and hubby go to right, there is a snowboarder sitting down on the left of the family . I am hurtling towards the family, with nowhere to go . Small child in large one piece ski suit, goggles etc is directly in front of me, and I am unable to stop. I pick up the child, and fall on my back with the child on my chest. Hubby collects bemused child and returns him to the parents, who don't really seem to have noticed what was going on.
Unfortunately for me, it was the first run of the holiday, and I hurt both knees, and didn't ski again until the last day  .
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When I was 18 going up a T-bar on my first ski holiday ever on my own at some point during the second week of it next to a red runner so semi-steep.
The rest of ski course went up before me and being on the T-bar on my own I was a bit bored and watched people coming down the piste. Anyway, I spot this blonde, ponytailed snowboarder going down and as he goes past me, I continue to watching him turning around looking back over my right shoulder. This resulted in me turning more than 180 degree, the T-bar shooting out from under, me somehow being catapulted out of the track and sitting down in waist-high snow between random rocks, baby firn trees and cyclamen.
Luckily it was only about 100m from the top of the lift. While I was trying to climb out of the "offpiste" and get back on the piste, my ski instructor on realising that they had "lost" me, skied down, looked at me, shook his head in disbelief, looking at me going: "But Kati why did you fall off the lift? You NEVER fall off the T-Bar normally!"
And I'm like - "Oh, no clue!"
(Obviously I have learned from this, when oggeling men while on a T-Bar do not turn more than 90 degrees or alternatively only do this while in a chairlift or a gondola).
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You know it makes sense.
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A short female friend of mine and i were on an old style 2-man rattler lift in Mammoth, late season. Get to the end and the off-ramp is about a foot and a half lower than it had been the day before, so we have to drop off the chair. I do so, as does she a fraction later, but now higher off the ground, but she lands on the tail of her board, which compresses, then springs her back into the air and back onto the seat, and sailing back round the corner. Cue liftie stopping the ride, while barely able to walk to her assistance from laughing so hard.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Years back in the "ski-factory" that is Macugnaga, the missus was taking lessons, so one day decided to done a pair of sticks of shame to show support (it was only five minutes back to get my board). Jumped on the chairlift, alone, taking in the morning and the crisp, clear, Monte Rosa air.
Which was very welcome, considering we'd spent the previous night, and small hours, imbibing the surprisingly excellent Guinness at "Rosie's Irish Bar", and apart from feeling a bit tender 'round the gills, my $hit hadn't really kicked in anyway. Long, slow chair ride up, just the ticket.
Imagine my surprise then, when about 100yds into the ascent, one of my skis dropped off (as I rarely put the bar down). Just as I was taking this fact in, the other one departed.  . Needless to say my efforts at clipping in that morning left a little to be desired.
Being a rather long, flat walk down, and having at least 25% of my faculties by now at my command I decided the only sensible thing to do would be to jump off, which I promptly did.  It was only about 12-14 feet up, and with the intrinsic resilience, dare say it spring, that the Guinness afforded, the landing was quite accomplished, despite the knee high loplings all around.
I can tell you, these Italians have very little sense of humour, or even adventure. Whether it was the earlyish hour or what, but there was much shouting and flailing of arms. By the time I'd retrieved my skis, and got back to the base station, it had calmed down a bit, but they were still more than a little excitable.
Back in Rosie's Bar that night, my money had little currency, as drink after drink appeared. Even a TO rep came over and asked me to confirm I was the mad English fecker who had indeed jumped of the lift earlier that day...........
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Poster: A snowHead
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Years ago as a begineer I lost my left ski while getting onto a chairlift. The people loading onto the next chair picked it up it brought it up with them. The exit from the chair at the top was a fairly sharp right turn with a wooden perimeter fence on the left hand-side. The exit was also overlooked by many people sitting outside a mountain hut on deckchairs. I'd read about skiing on one ski but didn't realize how difficult it was to do on the outside edge until (much to the amusement of the deckchair audience) I hit the fence at speed.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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our mates sister (who was a ski rep at the time) managed to totally bollock up getting onto the L'aigle lift at Montgenevre a couple of seasons ago, she crossed her skis and ended up underneath the chair getting dragged along by it... she did very well to laugh all the way through it, and we all did very well to laugh as well - the lifty, however, didn't find it amusing at all and there was a wee girl in the queue that actually cried and refused to get on the lift.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Top of one of the T bars on the L2A glacier, a steep final section to the offload area, just as we reach the lip onto the flat area the T bar rope snaps right on the end of the T bar where it has worn. My snowHead T Bar partner (another lardy) and I have time to glance with terror into each others eyes before the backward, entwined rush begins. The end result is a very big heap about 25nm back don the poma track, 1 T Bar that is now a W Bar, and a certain L2A instructor barely abl;e to stand for laughing
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Frosty the Snowman, oh how I wish I'd been there.
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Hurtle, Oh how I wish I had it on film
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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reasonably funny at an EoSB once when a certain snowhead (skier) managed to get through the gates to be the 7th person in the row trying to get on a six man chair lift 
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| rayscoops wrote: |
| reasonably funny at an EoSB once when a certain snowhead (skier) managed to get through the gates to be the 7th person in the row trying to get on a six man chair lift |
Must be like losing at playing musical chairs
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Mr HH and I loading onto a very low two man chair, tidily lined up side by side, chair comes round, we crouch down to sit on it and we're away! Unfortunately, the lifty hadn't cleared the heap of snow in front of the chair, queue Mr HH skis digging in tip first, as they dug in deeper and he slid forwards he managed to elbow me off into the heap and finally tumbled off on top of me. It seemed to take ages for us to dig ourselves out and get back into line ....especially as we were being watched from the next chair up by the great Yoda himself 
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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The 2 man centre pole chairlift at Baker running up from White Salmon lodge - load at mid point with someone already on it, try not to fall off with the considerable bounce then tackle the 45 degree wooden ramp at the end. If you stay on your feet run into everyone poling or hiking pass for access to the cirque. Most character builiding on a snowboard. Oh and of course no safety bar - the spiritual home of snowboarding didn't get to be so with such pussy concessions to Euro pansies.
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You know it makes sense.
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Having convinced the OH that T bars weren't that bad......we get to the top and she has no idea how to dismount, so being gentlemanly I removed the bar from her and promptly manage to stick it into the underarm vent on my jacket. Which happened to be open.
So I am being dragged uphill by my underarm with no method of escape and no lifty seemed to want to stop the thing.
Luckily the stitching wasn't up to taking me airbourne and I ended in an embarrased heap with her beside me saying...'I told you so...' 
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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As an ambitious newbie boarder at glenshee. . I tried 9 times to get up sunnyside poma and managed it once by a sheer fluke. It yank s you forward initially and casts you aside at will. . My backside was covered in bruises. I left ego deflated and returned couple weeks later with better board control. .up I went on the poma wondering what the problem was . .ego reflated. .then got hit on back of head by the timely release of someone elses poma. .now Im bruised both ends. .poma initiation no doubt
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Poster: A snowHead
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Tbar in Pico in Vermont. I shuffle up it the normal fashion, glance across at my lift partner and realise there is no way on this earth she is less than 30 stone. I think if I hit the bar before her, I might be arriving airmail in New Hampshire in about 2 minutes, so I let her sit down first, trying to sit down a fraction of a second later. After she hits the bar, my end is about 6ft in the air and about 80 degrees from horizontal. It hooks into the collar of my jacket at about the same time she falls off. Now all the weight is on my side, so it drops back to ground level, still hooked in my collar. The ground rises quite sharply, so by the time the liftie has stopped pi55ing himself laughing and stops the lift I have perfected a new technique. Not quite a snow plough, not quite a face plant. The liftie, my wife, both kids, big lady on my right and the sharp shooter photographer decided that the only appropriate term was 'face plough.' Thankfully he didn't have a video, but the pics were all over Killington and Pico in about an hours
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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About my fourth ever chairlift ride.
Pre snowmaking the bottom chair got you from the snowless expanse of Sauze D'Oulx to the middle bit by the restauraunt where you ran carrying your skis to get off.
After some lessons we were taken up the next lift. I rode up with the instructor who flipped the bar up and said 'keep down'. I skied off crouching and then stood up as I stopped, the CLANGGG!!! I heard was the result of the tubular steel chair hitting the back of my head.
A memorable mount was on my first go on a magic carpet at Morzine, or thereabouts. Three of us to a four man chair. We spread out anf gave the middle bit to the young lady from our party. We all lifted off okay and were slightly surprised to seesaid young lady sitting higher that the rest the two on the outer seats. Worry set in as we realised that she was sitting on a sloping armrest thing and was slipping off. By the time we'd figured out the problem, grabbed, heaved her back in and dumped her down like a sack of spuds, we were some considerable distance up and a bit jittery at the thought of what could have happened.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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First ever ski holiday. Wife and me had been kicked out of the beginners class and put with a few other 'no hopers' in a class of our own - six of us altogether.
After a few days spent mastering (yeah, right) the rope tow on the nursery slope, our instructor decided that it was time for us to tackle the T-bar.
"Just don't sit down" she said, "Keep your legs straight and your skis parallel, I'll see you at the top!"
I went first, sharing a bar with another chap from our group, the rest of our group followed on the next 3 'seats'
We were doing fine until we got to the top of what was - in fairness to us - still the steepest bit of T-bar I've ever ridden. There was a small bump just as we crested the rise and I thought "I'll smooth the ride out by lifting my skis over this bit"
Of course, as I lifted my skis I bent my legs..........and sat down.
My partner and I both ended up in a heap on the ground, frantically trying to get out of the way of those following.
The lift operator (probably warned in advance by our instructor) stopped the lift straight away.
As it stopped, the remainder of our group sat down, and also fell off.
Some of us managed to stagger to the side of the lift - into thigh deep snow - and managed to walk/crawl to a part of the piste that passed through the T-bar, but two of the ladies (my wife was one) actually slid all the way back down - taking out another couple of 'riders' on the way.
It must have taken a good ten minutes for it all to get sorted out, and afterwards we were all unable to ski (not that anyone would have noticed any difference) for a good half hour because we couldn't stop laughing.
That was about 7 years ago and I would be willing to bet that our instructor - the gorgeous Tracey at Kirchdorf - still fondly remembers our group.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Heading up on a very modern chairlift last season as we sat down a friends' ski popped off. Liftie gave it to a female boarder following on. They had clearly phoned the top liftys who were both stood at the top waiting to be amused. much to their, and our, surprise he managed a graceful dismount wedged between 2 other friends,. The boarder then got to the top and just threw his skis to the ground at the point of dismount. Again to our amazement friend managed to retrieve the ski without any assistance. Apparently it was the boarders 1st time on a chairlift and panic took hold when she got to the top!
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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youspurs1, classic
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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I remember my first day on slopes this year at glenshee. I was early for my first boarding lesson so decided to go up chairlift and walk down. Ill never forget how mesmerised I felt of seeing a white out as far as the eye could see with a beautiful clear sky almost woken up from the darkness of the night before, mixed with the excited anticipation of the day ahead, and a snow muffled silence that wrapped me up into my own little magical world of living in the moment. . . 
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A fairly big busted friend of mine on her first ski holiday. We are in a tiny ski resort in Austria (Leutasch) going up a T-bar on the nursery slope ... at the top she manages to get her jacket caught in the arm of the T and gets dragged about 20 feet up the safety ramp before the lifty stops the lift. She's hanging there for a few seconds until she puts her arms up and her jacket and T-shirt get pulled up over her head and she slides back down the ramp in nothing but ski-pants and bra .. you had to be there !!!
My own best one was in St Anton at Rendl. We're getting on a deserted 2 man chair and all the seats have been popped up because it's snowing. The very young lifty forgets to pop our seat back down and not noticing we sit down and find our bums go through and we're hanging by the backs of our knees on the frame of the chair. I'm thinking this is going to an interesting ride to the top when my mate decides to jump off and gets clear. So i think i better do the same but by this time the chair is well clear of the ground and as i exit the rear hem of my jacket catches on a very small rubber stop on the chair frame. I am left effectively hanging from my backside as the chair carries on upwards. Eventually the lift stops with me swinging from the lift about 15 feet in the air. I'm really in pain because I'm swinging around and i just had lunch and all my weight is taken by my stomach via the front of my jacket ... it took a good 5-10 minutes for the inexperienced lifty to work out how to reverse the lift and get me down. My mate is laughing his head off but I'm swearing like a trooper ... luckily he didn't have his camera with him else I would now be famous via youtube !!!
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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That's a rather fetching little orange onesie Kevin is wearing
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FAQ
