 Poster: A snowHead
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Heard on the cable car in St Lary a couple of years ago, this English guy obviously thought everyone was French and was speaking to a 'friend': "None of my friends know I am gay, just my wife but we have an arrangement, but then I don't do the things most gay guys do, I windsurf, play football and ski"!! And then he just says to this bloke: "Have you ever had sex in a car"?.................Yikes, Taxi for Gsyfreerider!!
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Escaped the slush in chamonix with a sight seeing trip up the Aiguille du Midi the other afternoon.
Overheard a young lady asking "Wheres mont blanc"
She was looking at chamonix at the time.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Heard in Flaine last Friday. Mother to obnoxious 6/7 yr old.
"Now be good or you'll have to sleep with Granny tonight. You don't want to be woken by Granny now do you?"
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Can't believe this thread doesn't have the usual classics yet:
"Where do they put the moguls in the summer?" - lost count how many times I've heard this one
"Are those waterskis?" - referring to any ski over 80mm wide
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Boarding a plane at Heathrow heading out to Tahoe for the first time....
dumb yank to my g/f "hello little missy, where you from?"
mini-ni "er...the UK"
dumb yank "wow thats amazing, you speak very good English!"
Jeez, what an intro to the U.S of A!!!
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val d`isere, xmas 09; well to do lady to friend " I told the decorator to put a dildo rail in the sitting room" 
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Wind ups for people asking what the Gazex avalanche tubes are for:
1. they are a snow distribution system, snow is taken down the mountain on lorries and pumped up through the tubes; or
2. hot water is pumped through them to wash the snow away at the end of the season
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Not on the snow but a rafting customer asked. "How does all the water get back to the top of the river" She was Australian.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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| chrisdavis wrote: |
Overheard on a bus - old lady seeing a young mum and her (about 6/7 yr old) son getting on:
Old lady: "Ooh, isn't he growing up fast...."
Boy: "Shut up you old c**t"
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we have a winner!!!
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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| Big Dave wrote: |
Wind ups for people asking what the Gazex avalanche tubes are for:
1. they are a snow distribution system, snow is taken down the mountain on lorries and pumped up through the tubes; or
2. hot water is pumped through them to wash the snow away at the end of the season |
It's a device for blowing the marmottes off the hill. Still makes me giggle.
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You know it makes sense.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Poster: A snowHead
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On the way to a resort passing a long lake. A couple of minutes after we started passing it "Are we still at the same level of the lake or is this a different level".
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Boredsurfing, well spotted. 
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Nickski, sounds a bit like the Belgian water-skier who travelled around the world trying to find a downhill lake.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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anarchicsaltire, yes and in newcastle as well, somewhere in jesmond maybe?
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Broad accented New Yorker on lift in Whistler to his mates, "jeez, I gotta take a poops". I burst out laughing
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Thought someone else was going to post this:
Guy "We were skiing this amazing powder in a nature reserve and saw these Chamonix."
Girl "What are Chamonix?"
Guy "I think they're those goat thing."
Girl "Oh right I keep hearing people say Chamonix and didn't know what they're talking about".
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Tignes 2008, a cafe at the bottom of le lac
City dweller on mobile phone marching around the entire verander outside:- Oh yah just skiied the face this morining, made me feel like a man i tell you. My dick was hard like Whoooooooo yeah. Yeah good day old chap, i tell you what when i get back we must meet up for lunch and a yah.
I looked at my wife and both laughed the 1st words i could say to her were " what a cock" she just nodded.
Just got back from Val Disere the other week and the place is full of Yah's, but most seemed harmless enough and were enjoying themselves. But im sure if you could be botherd to listen closely enough a few choice sayings would have been heared. The guy mentioned above saldy could not have any chance of not beeing heared, the whole restraunt could here him LOL
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On the train out of engelberg
female yank: ''you know I'd really like to go to whistler one day''
male yank: ''yer but the problem with whistler is that cause of its elevation it struggles to get much snow'
Said just after whistler passed the 14m of snowfall mark.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Not in resort but on the way up to Scotland last week i was being particularly muppety and genuinely on seeing a sign for Wigan Pier said "i didnt know Wigan was on the coast" . . .
Later in the weekend on discovering Scampi Fries were gluten free (they're not actually we were just all quite tired and drunk and had clearly lost the ability to read) i came out with the classic "are they made of real scampis then" . . . i did realise as i was saying it but was past the point of no return!!!
In fact i think i was pretty special the whole weekend . . . Although my friend got confused between sheep and deer at one point and thought she saw a bear (it was a cow). . . .
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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You know it makes sense.
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the best one I can remember in Shladming a few years ago on the gondola.
couple of english lads thought our group was german and couldn't understand us..
"god, michael you've no idea how much my ass hurts, I just don't understand why it does"
"It'll be alright mate, just don't tell your parents what you did, they won't like paying all this for you to come and stick beer bottles up your ass would they, I mean you could do that in England *laughs*"
"its not funny, if its still this painfull i'm gonna have to go the the chemists and get some cream or something, it f*cking wrecks, oh s*it, you think they can here us mate?"
"nah, their german, you can tell, they have thin skis"
"thats good *laughs*"
.. made me laugh at the top a lot! took a lot of self control not to burst out in tears of laughter on the gondola
There was a better one in Bormio but I can only remember bits of it, some reason unless you speak your always thought of as the foreigner
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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One of my mates was at the counter of a crowded sandwich shop in Les Arcs. He looked back at us all as he was looking at the menu board and asked loudly "Whats French for mayonnaise?"
He was known as Mayo for the rest of the trip.
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Poster: A snowHead
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Recounted to me by my wife last season while we were staying in Aosta about an old chap she met on a chair lift.
Old Italian chap when he realises she's English: "Where is your Instructor?"
wife: "er, I don't have one"
chap with confused look: "but you will not safe on your own without an Instructor"
wife: "I'll be fine"
chap: "but your English, how can you ski without an Instructor ?"
bless.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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| Swirly wrote: |
Thought someone else was going to post this:
Guy "We were skiing this amazing powder in a nature reserve and saw these Chamonix."
Girl "What are Chamonix?"
Guy "I think they're those goat thing."
Girl "Oh right I keep hearing people say Chamonix and didn't know what they're talking about". |
That was quality, thanks for remembering to post it, I had forgotten!
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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| snobunni wrote: |
. . .
Later in the weekend on discovering Scampi Fries were gluten free (they're not actually we were just all quite tired and drunk and had clearly lost the ability to read) i came out with the classic "are they made of real scampis then" . . . i did realise as i was saying it but was past the point of no return!!!
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Well I'm told a large percentage of scampi in pubs isn't really scampi but bits of firm fish (eg monkfish) so doesn't seem so silly to me.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Overheard on a chair in Tignes on a beautiful blue sky day:
Sloany teenager 1: "so, Tiffany, tell me: which do you think is the more stressful resort - Tignes or Val d'Isere?"
Sloany teenager 2: "Oh, I'm really not sure.....the queues in Tignes really are quite tiresome at times"
I was biting my tongue to stop me suggesting that they take up another sport, but that would have given away the fact that I spoke English and I would have missed out on the rest of the conversation.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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It wasn't in a chair lift, but apparently one of the most amusing, but at the time unaware things I came out with was in the Ponderosa cafe on the horseshoe pass near Llangollen. Cafe was full of bikers at the time and I had my young daughter opposite me in a chair with my back to a group of them. Daughter had a full juice carton with a straw in the top, experience had taught me that if these are squeezed when full daughter would smoother table with juice out of the top of straw. Apparently I was cause enormous guffaws amongst the bikers by enthusiastically encouraging my daughter to 'Suck and not Squeeze'.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Verbier:
Chap on lift 1: "How did you get here...PJ?"
Me thinking: PJ his name or was he bizzarly in his pyjamas? I continued to listen...
Chap on lift 2: "Oh yah, PJ of course"
Chap on lift 1: " Oh yah, I love PJs, you can bring as much luggage as you want, I bought all of my skis, so much better than commercial"
Chap on lift 2: "Oh yah indeedy, and you can just turn up and go. I love my PJ"
It clicked...PJ=Private Jet!
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Mod Note: I trimmed a load of unrelated and unhelpful posts as requested
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nbt, yeah and my brand new post with it!
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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I will try AGAIN! Overheard in the Le Fornet Gondola. Young man on his mobile "Yah Jasper (cant guarantee that was the name) in this market we should buy, buy, BUY! Rest of the gondola "No Jasper, sell,sell, SELL!" How we laughed...
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FAQ
