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Rules of Skiing - funny!

 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
Picked these up from an old book I got in a Charity Shop ages ago.

Rules of Skiing

Falling:

Falling is hard but getting up is harder.
Its easier to get up after a fall if your skies are pointing across, rather than down the fall-line.
Everyone did see you when you fell under the chairlift.
If you have a great run, with only one fall, that fall will take place as you're skiing under the chairlift or in front of the sun terrace.
A sure way of falling is to try and ski in time to the music.
Its when you're skiing most sublimely that you're most likely to come a cropper.

Gear:

The problem is you, not your equipment - no skier believes this.
The newer your skis, the more ragged rocks there will be to run them over.
The more you wipe your goggles, the more they will mist up.
There will be one clip on your boots that you never manage to undo.
There will be one clip on your boots that will constantly be coming undone of its own accord.
The most comfortable Apres Ski boots are socks.

Weather:

The weather never changes for the better.
Whenever it rains in the village, someone will say its probably snowing up on the mountain.
The weather will be at its coldest when you're stuck on the chairlift.
It is usually possible to ski all the way back down the hotel - except for the week when you're staying there.

Classes:

Ski School never starts at 10am.
Any similarity between the way the class skis and the way the instructor skis is purely accidental.
No-one will be sure where or when the class agreed to meet again after lunch.
There will always be at least one ski-class assembling just as you come off the lift, blocking your path and everyone else's.
On race day, your class will go last.

Progress:

All progress is either theoretical or illusory.
You ski worse on the second day than on the first.
When you feel you're skiing a lot better, no-one else will notice any improvement.
Its when you're skiing your best that things are most likely to go wrong.
Most skiers believe that there's a knack which, once grasped, will make it all come right - no-one ever finds it.
If you start getting it right, things will immediately start to go wrong.

Lifts:

The lift always stops when you are going up the coldest and most exposed stretch.
By the time you get to the bottom you'll have forgotten how cold it was going up - so you'll go up again and find out.
The lift you thought linked with another one doesn't.
The greatest insult is to decline to go up the T-bar with someone.

Chalets:

There won't be enough coat hangers.
There's always something in the Chalet that doesn't work.
It will be a different something every day.
Breakfast never takes place on time.
snow conditions
 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
jb1970 wrote:
There's always something in the Chalet that doesn't work. It will be a different something every day.


Lol very true, I went skiing with 6 friends last Season and our shower didn't work for a week, the smell was not very nice. We got used to it the people sitting next to us on our flight home didn't!! snowHead
ski holidays



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