 Poster: A snowHead
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Once saw someone ski into the some soft offpiste where a pistebasher had created a 2 foot wall of snow at the side of the piste. I looked and thought "I'm 'aving some of that" and entered the offpiste a little further down. Further up the snow was soft as the sun had been on it and thawed it out. Lower down in the shade it was hard so I hit the wall, double ejected out of my bindings and somersaulted into breakable crust.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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bertie bassett, aah yes the inverted snow angel an old friend of mine.. 
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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DB, I've done the double eject thing. One of my oh-so-elegant ways of handling a scarry moment is to head for the bank of 'fluffy' snow at the side to take off a bit of speed. Tried it in Flaine last year up the near the top early one morning and nearly knocked myself out. MrRibena thought it was priceless.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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In my younger and more reckless days, we found a nice natural ramp just off-piste leading back onto the piste which cleared a small stream bed which was about 2 yards deep and 2 yards wide. I was first to go and leant back too far and somehow ended up travelling forward but with my body now parralel to the land and my skis point skyward. The tails of my skis hit the edge of the stream bank, pinging off and I flew though the air somewhat further, landing on my back and severaly winding myself. I turned round expecting to see some sympathy and concern from all my friends, but instead all I saw were people doubled up with laughter !
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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On my second week of skiing I had nice new B2s and was attempting to do fast turns and brush my inside hand on the snow as I did so. As I came at high speed down an empty slope rounding a bend I spotted ahead a truly dreadful sight... an instructor with a massive trail of kids all following each other right across the entire piste with no gap to pass though. There had been a recent 12" dump and so I though that instead of attempting to stop I would head across the freshly laid field of snow.
I kept it together for approx 100m but then lost it in the manner of the crash at the beginning of the Six Million Doller Man. For a short while I was in the midst of a whorling, tumbling maelstom of snow... then once I had dug myself out I looked back. 50m behind me there was one solitary ski stuck up stright in the snow as if to mark the point at which my inability overtook my enthusiasm.
Last edited by You'll need to Register first of course. on Fri 5-12-08 0:18; edited 1 time in total
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One I was in was top of chair coming out of Les Gets bowl. 2 more "senior" people to my left, and guy I was skiing with to my right, and my brother to his right. As we all stood up to slide away, the guy to my right "caught an edge" (his words) went over my skis (rental so didn't care about pristine tops) and took out the lady to my left. Meanwhile, I had no choice but to remain seated/pushed along by the chair. The lifty was going  and  as he hit the stop button. Nobody was hurt, and no body proceeded more than half a ski length forward of the chair apart from the old guy and my brother who turned around and wondered how the heck one guy had managed to get 2 chair places further to the left.
Other crash was a fellow chalet resident "pushing new skis to the limit to see how they performed". Double binding release at speed going down towards Champoussin. Her daughter thought it was fun to ski right behind but was faced with her mother, skis, poles, hat etc. all going in different directions, and then promptly re-enacted that crash taking evasive action. Nobody was hurt. But it took 3 of us to go fetch all the skis and poles, hats and goggles etc. that had by now covered half the piste. If you're gonna have a yard sale, do it in style.
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Doing wide GS type rhythmic turns down one half of a Les Arcs piste, I notices I was 'in phase' with another skier - and as was inevitable, eventually we met face first in the middle of the piste.
Turns out she was a nice German lady, and as we picked each other up we exchanged pleasantries, although her partner didn't look so pleased.
Having completed the formalities of picking up gloves, poles, putting skis back on, and apologizing to each other once more, we both set off, completed one turn each, and SMACK straight back into each other again.
He thought I was a stalker.
My companions thought it was the funniest thing since the Marx brothers.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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| JimW wrote: |
Doing wide GS type rhythmic turns down one half of a Les Arcs piste, I notices I was 'in phase' with another skier - and as was inevitable, eventually we met face first in the middle of the piste.
Turns out she was a nice German lady, and as we picked each other up we exchanged pleasantries, although her partner didn't look so pleased.
Having completed the formalities of picking up gloves, poles, putting skis back on, and apologizing to each other once more, we both set off, completed one turn each, and SMACK straight back into each other again.
He thought I was a stalker.
My companions thought it was the funniest thing since the Marx brothers. |
Did something similar in La Plagne a few years ago at slowish speed on a board, and ended up with a rather cute madame astride my leading leg, prior to us both falling over..
Didn't get her number though!
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JimW, that exact scenario was my worst ever crash. Skiing with a friend on a university trip we got into phase and hit each other head-on at speed. My sunglasses were pushed into the bridge of my nose, so blood everywhere, I was out cold for a brief moment so mild concussion; she was knocked out of both bindings and finished up the week with bad bruises everywhere. Whole thing just proved that the most dangerous people on the piste are the friends that you are skiing with!
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Another one I've just remembered. At Alpe d'Huez there's a piste that a drag lift crosses. I was on the drag lift when this complete f'in numpty skied in to me at full speed. Just turning sideways at the last minute. It was like I had a hit me magnet. The only person on the drag lift and this useless tozzer manages to hit me. I'd been watching him all the way too, he even looked me in the eye just before hitting me. I jumped up and stuck my elbow out at the last second otherwise I reckon he could of broken my legs. I was badly bruised and had a mini yard sale of my equipment so God knows what state he was in. I was so shocked I forgot to thank him by shaking him by the neck.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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| Quote: |
Doing wide GS type rhythmic turns down one half of a Les Arcs piste, I notices I was 'in phase' with another skier - and as was inevitable, eventually we met face first in the middle of the piste.
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Yes, I have done that. My brother-in-law lost two teeth as a result. 
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You know it makes sense.
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| mark_s wrote: |
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im in awe
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Well I thought it was funny at least 
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Poster: A snowHead
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Never mind the experiences, this thread has produced some top writing, some of which has had me laughing out loud. Really great. 
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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My biggest stack not sue you can describe it as best more like worst, was early in my skiing history Panorama when I accidently found myself on a double black diamond and as I am was not fit enough to walk back up I decided I would be OK if I used technique I had been taught; wrong: I got two turns in hit some shere, scraped blue transparent 'rock'. On the long accelerating tumble down my life flashed before me. I was till accelerating & could see a drop off & trees approaching fast, I had not been taught what to do in this situation and managed to get my feet/skis downhill I decided best to try and brake even though I thought it might break my leg but my ski just arched an juddered and showered me in shavings and ubder my sun glasses. I just prayed waiting for the pain. I came smoothly to rest meters from the abiss and trees. A following skier told me I should not be lying in the middle of the piste, I replied it was not through choice & shuffled to the side and still shakey stood trying to look as if I was taking a breather. Lo & behold my fall was exactly replicated by a skier & then a boarder who came to rest at the same spot, must have been careful piste design.
The fall that amused my buddies most was on a mad last day when fooling on a natural half pipe between the pistes at Tignes, dropping down from one edge and emerging on top of the other bank. I got a little too cocky & ambitious an did not quite make the top but my skis went into a void a few cm below the lip, burried half way to the bindings, ejected me & I did a perfect superman impression followed by a belly landing. It did not hurt and produce much amusement. My skis took some extracting.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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I was towards the end of a season in Meribel when a friend came out to visit. He was a strong skier but obviously not quite up to standard of me and my ski season buddies. First day we took him to a natural kicker just of the piste with a steep run-up and slight bump just before the kicker. My friend was due to go last and, before each of us set off, we warned him to check his speed going down the run-up or risk hitting the bump too quickly, losing control on the kicker and performing a major face plant under the chair lift. Needless to say, my friend thought he knew better and, having watched each of us take off from the kicker and land successfully, decided to hit the tuck position as he screamed down the run up. As he hit the bump pretty hard he was thrown off balance and started to rotate slightly as he came on to the kicker. The result was a kind of slow 360 in a prone position. I never saw someone reach such a height off that kicker. In addition to this his skis somehow released in mid air along with his goggles, hat and one glove! He came down flat on his back and skidded to a halt about 50ms down the run-off, his kit scattered across a massive disaster area. The applause and cheering from the gallery was epic.
To make things worse one of his skis managed to carry on about 30ms past him. Rather than walk down to it, I offered him a lift on the back of my skis (stupid thing to do but we were both young and dumb). 10ms into our journey together, one of his boots slipped off my ski caught in the snow and sent him flying into the air again. Kit everywhere again including my own as I collapsed to the ground in hysterics.... The crowd roared once more.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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3 of the Best.
1. 1st trip to La Plange, couldn't wait to get out on the slopes after a long day travelling. Dumped the stuff in the apartment and put our boots on, set our bindings and jumped on the drag lift without paying.
My best mate feeling adventurous got a little carried away and headed for the snow bank just outside the piste markers. "Follow me through the trees" was the call. we were travelling at a good speed when i heard Pablo shout "Holy poo-poo". I put the brakes on just in time to see my best mate fly through the air into a drop of about 15 foot. This was a Harry Hill moment. lying on his back bottom @ the bottom of this drop off i shouted down "you alright mate". you can guess the reply.
2. Same person as above. Weather was crappy in Avoriaz so we headed for the trees. We built a small kicker and everyone who went over it had to name the move they were going to pull.
I went over, shouted "Indy", Dave went next "180 front" you get the gist. There was a reasonably good crowd, Pablo approached the kicker "tail grab". it was not to be. He leant too far back and the whole crowd groaned as they could see what was going to unfold. Pablo landed head first and tumbled like a rag doll doing at least 10 rolls down the hill. Pride still intact he managed to get back to the kicker to announce "i'll not be doing that again!".
3. Aviemore. In my younger days i had balls the size of mellonies, no mortgage,car loan,wife or kids.
There had been a freestyle/freeski event going on and the organisers had cut a gap through the table top so as to stop others using it.
I eyed this beast up and reconned i could easily clear the gap!?!
Alas friends, as i sped toward the jump i realised that i had bitten off more than i could chew and shat it. I put on the brakes and flew sideways through the air landing on all the ice rocks that used to be the middle of the table top. No sympathy from my mate (Pablo) lying on the ice, winded,gasping for breath begging him not to tell anyone. Needless to say i had an audience all laughing their nuts of @ my stupidity.
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I keep seeing this thread and I am so tempted to put :
TCP/IP 4.18 for PIC microcontrollers. Its a nice free compact protocol stack that compiles into a tiny footprint.
But I dont think you are discussing that type of stack. 
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Racing admin down through the Hanegg in Wengen on day one of the inaugural MSB a couple of years ago.
I was in the lead - naturally - and making good progress at putting some distance between us.
Looking good, thought I, and leant confidently and arrogantly into what started off as a splendid GS turn. As I basked in the glory of my massive skiing prowess and correspondingly enormous genitals, I noted that the snow had finished, and a thickly-wooded hillside had begun.
Wengen had suffered weeks of continuing thaw, and basically all that was left were thin ribbons of snow.
The crash was as awful as the build-up suggests. I slid off the edge of the snow (and the cliff), and found myself flying through thin air, with solid-looking pine trees poking their branches at me as I passed. As I flew, skis, sticks, hat, and goggles took their leave, and I came to a stop upside down and pinned in the branches of a helpfully-located spruce.
In one of those rare and exquisite "am I dead? Wow, there is an afterlife" moments, I gingerly tested all my limbs, and was amazed to find all were still there and still functioning.
The chances of cheating death in these circumstances were slim, and I was jolly lucky. [b]admin[b/] was luckier, because he won, and was waiting at Innerwengen, thinking he'd been soundly whipped, and that I had disdained to hang around waiting for him. As a mud-spattered yours truly slunk into view, the gloating and mockery was heavy and unneccessary. To say that the winner was visibly shaken by my recounting the above to him doesn't make for such a good story, though.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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paulmck, Yes, we were a little worried when we arrived at the lift and you were nowhere to be seen. Glad you sustained only pride-dents though.
(I say 'we' but Admin was way ahead of me)
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lampbus, you and me both, old bean!
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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Superb. This thread is just brilliant, one of the best ever. snowHeads are such good story-tellers.
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Back when I were a lad and real men skied on dendix, I nailed one of the rollers at Pendle and pulled a pretty spectacular square daffy (http://uk.youtube.com/v/kC1emKo36Tk). I remember thinking I'm really going for it this time and got both skis vertical. Unfortunately I didn't retract them quite fast enough and got the tip of the lower ski hooked in the matting. Not having these fancy new-fangled backwards-release bindings the ski stayed on and I was catapulted down to earth, breaking a tooth and a ski tip and shredding most of my face off.
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You know it makes sense.
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Sideshow_Bob, oooooooohhhh! That's a good 'un.
Hurtle, there could almost be a book deal in this.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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One of the most quality 'stacks' I've seen was in fact in January this year, at Schladming.
My ski group and I had all skied down a lovely red and were waiting just by the chair lift queue for the last couple of people to join us. As many of them are, the chair lift was at the bottom/end of the piste; you could go no further. Beneath the queue for the lift was a very steep drop-off into deep snow, bushes and small trees - you get the picture.
As we stood there, we watched a skier come flying down towards us.. so fast it looked as though he wasn't going to stop at the bottom.
He didn't.
For some bizarre reason, he clearly didn't realise that the piste had ended and literally FLEW off the edge. At this point he vanished. We (and the rest of the lift queue) shuffled over and peered over the edge, expecting the worst.
What we saw was a scattering of skis, poles and various other items and the guy about 30 metres down the mountain literally COVERED in snow, picking himself up!
Cue much applause and laughter - God knows how long it must have taken him to climb back up.
My own two best/worst wipeouts were a full forward somersault in deep snow whilst with a ski class (they p*ssed themselves) in LDA and a few years ago in Banff (Norquay) one of those 'converging' crashes with another skier in my group which a few other people have described. I was going extremely fast and as I flew through the air I had enough time to think "This is going to really hurt when I land". It did, I was winded and really hurt my shoulder - I also broke my sunglasses and left a trail of equipment up the piste. An impressive crash, but painful.
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Poster: A snowHead
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paulmck, I strongly suspect your worst and most amusing accident on the slopes to be during another trip to Wengen, but that's possibly for a different thread.
I am however reminded of a trip to LDA when we were accompanied by Cav, a mild mannered sort of chap whose lack of fear was only surpassed by his lack of ability resulting in many an episode that should have been filmed for Harry Hill's delight and £250 in our pockets. One of the most notable moments was waiting for him to catch up half way down Toura for a while to eventually see his skis glide past and his person slowly slide, head-first, on his back, round a corner and into a heap of the soft stuff. He was shortly followed by no less than three innocent parties in a similar state that he'd apparently met on the way down.
This was followed next day by a trail down toward Mont de Lans where we encountered a five foot drop into a ditch with a slight incline the other side. The majority of our group managed this without problem, leaving our intrepid hero balancing on the edge waiting his turn. We whistled the theme tune to "Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em" which he kindly waited for us to finish before taking the plunge. The result was Cav getting some pretty impressive air when it should not have been possible. He seemed to hang horizontally and still in the air for about half an hour, before dropping like a stone onto his back.
Admittedly for my own part, it's no less remarkable when I take to the piste and don't exact some kind "Frank Spencer" stunt.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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hah, love the commentry.
My little sister snowploughed a man off a poma in Andorra a few years ago. It was awesome!
I had a high-speed, mid-carve collision with one of my parents middle aged friends last spring. Being about half this guy's weight, I took the brunt of the force. Was quite a sore one and wasn't even my fault!! I was about to give him a mouthful before noticing he was in our group.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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My nephew, aged about five, took out an ESF instructor who was standing and pontificating in front of his class of 8 year olds. Oh, how they laughed. And how he didn't! My sister, following on and horrified, just ignored him and skied past looking the other way.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Chalky, I don't know what you're talking about.....
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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I was in Soldeu in 1986 with my mate Mark, and my parents tagged along on their first ever trip. Me and mark were skiing down a blue on the last afternoon, and we passed my parents' ski school group winding its way down. We skied on a bit further, to wait and watch them come past. There was a guy standing well off the side of the piste, taking a photograph down the hill. My Dad came round the corner with one ski up in the air and veered off the side of the piste - going quite quickly. He hit the guy squarely in the back, one ski either side - the camera must have flown 10ft.
Mark, in best Jimmy Nail Geordie - "How Chris, has your Dad just killed that bloke?"
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A couple from my past ...
1) Myself and Adrian on snowblades some years back, pasting it down a piste in the Portes du Soleil with long flat sections through trees. We rounded a corner, saw a snow cannon facing across the piste which had generated a ridge and decided to jump this to maintain our momentum. Unfortunately the ridge was very soft (obvious really) so my 'blades stopped in an instant when they hit it, unlike me. Came crashing down hard, sunglasses and hat took leave of absence and Adrian used me as a crashmat as he performed an identical manoevre a split second later. To add insult to injury our friends (on skis and travelling at a more sedate pace) rounded the corner behind us and promptly fell about laughing at the sight of us two gradually turning white as the snow cannon did its stuff ...
2) 2007 in Morillon, Grand Massif ...
Jen was a learner and was practicing on the little nursery slope with a group of friends, also learners. The nursery drag lift covers a steady gradient for most of the lift then there's a much steeper section right at the top - most people dismount before this but tackling the top of the lift is the logical next progression in learning to ride drag lifts. Jen decided to tackle the top pull but despite a chorus of yells she was sitting too far back on the button as she crested the top. The next second I see her being flung off into the forest on the left like a rag doll - she'd still been sitting on the button as it went round the main lift wheel to commence its descent. Amazingly she was fine despite her brief aerial sortie - blinked back the tears, got straight back on her skis and commenced her run down. She did win the award for the most spectacular crash that holiday though.
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| Quote: |
She did win the award for the most spectacular crash that holiday though.
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I was wondering if anyone else did that... We've got a hat with a little clown on the top that you have to wear if you did the most spectacular crash the previous day. Each evening it gets handed on to the best fall from that day and so on.
A lot of people have had to wear that hat. Luckily it's warm.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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I got bored/tired of trying to ski some powder and decided to straight line it.
I remembered there was a small lip I could get some air off half way down the slope.
Small lip turned out to be more of a huge straight up lip, this catapulted me up rather high, the subsequent landing knocked me out for ~15min.
Luckily I didn't break anything, other than my sense of smell.
Plus side was, I got some cool X-rays of my head, concussion for 4 days and bought a helmet for future use.
Another freak accident was many years ago on a school ski trip.
We were going down the same run several times, each time I hit the piste marker with my pole (I don't know why )
Anyway, after 4 or so runs we stopped near the same piste marker, after a little pause the thing fell down and smacked me on my head. For that I won the "hand of god award"
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FAQ
