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Your worst slams...

 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
As I'm having real trouble keeping my mind off snowboarding - August in the UK is not a good time for this obsession - I thought I might as well share a few of my worst ouchies in the hope that your similar stories will provide some aversion therapy... ah, no chance!

I know there have been one or two threads which contained this kind of info, but I'm not aware of one which gathers them all in one quick-reference compendium of pain.

Bonus points will be awarded for any of the following:
    * Comedy
    * Large audience during incident
    * Upside-down-ness
    * Photographic evidence
    * Corroborating account
    * Divine retribution

At any rate, here are a few of my choicest slams; please share yours if you have a few good 'uns (who doesn't?) Some of these I have already told on this forum, so I apologise if I'm boring anyone - just tell a better story if so! Razz
    * Bulgarian rocket-launcher - my only non-healed injury to date. An old, temperamental drag-lift at the top of Borovets is not the place to learn how to use a drag-lift, especially with a take-off velocity of 4.5m/s. Slammed once, took abuse from Bulgarian lift attendants, got up, tried again, landed on my right arm, which ended up pointing due West (i.e. the same direction as my left arm). Shoulder joint still hurts sometimes 2.5 years on...
    * One, two, skip a few (moguls) - first day last season; brilliant conditions at Val Thorens. Last run of the day, getting back into the swing of things, charging down Lac blanc for the first time when I spotted moguls ahead. Made it over the first, but subsequently ran out of talent and launced from the second. I then flew over the third and fourth and landed on my rear-end on the upside of the fifth. Saw plenty of stars and heard/felt the compression up each joint of my spine in adrenaline-induced slow motion. Rode away unimpaired, but called it a day at that point, and still consider myself lucky to have got away with this so lightly...
    Immovable Shalli, unstoppable fartbag -
    * Big air, small skill - "Go for it! It's just pow down there!" yelled buddy/teacher Jules. So I launched myself off a blind lip (dumb, I know) and flew 30 feet into powder. Awesome feeling, and a very lucky landing. The worst thing about this was that it took me almost 10 minutes to climb out of head-high pow back to the piste. Not really a slam, this was more of a might-have-been-bad. Jules later told me that he was very surprised that I took it at anything like the speed I had, and hadn't really intended me to go that far.
    * 99.99% injury-free week - after a whole week in Val T with nothing worse than a few sore muscles, I was feeling very smug - until the very bottom of the last run on the last day. On the last 100m of Plein sud I caught a heel edge and sat down, severely bruising my coccyx (and my pride). The bus/plane ride home was not fun!

I know my stories aren't that exciting, but I rather like it that way! Madeye-Smiley Put me to shame with your gruesomest injury tales...
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 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Quote:

subsequently ran out of talent

Laughing Laughing I keep doin that as well.
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
I think DebbiDoesSnow might be round soon with photos of a not so successful jump of hers... Toofy Grin
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Kruisler, the vid is better Very Happy
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 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Kruisler, if not I will Laughing

My worst was on verte (a "not so" green) in Val D'Isere there was a steepish section followed by a long flat so as you do I was tanking it along to get over the flat, just as I got onto it a skier came past clipping me, I wobbled caught a toe edge and flew through the air. Braking was obtained by my nose which made first contact with a crack and ploughed a nice furrow seeding it with claret. I screamed at the guy who didn't stop I don't know what I said but it contained lots of Fs and Cs and I had no chance of catching him being halfway along the flat and unable to see through a bloody pair of goggles. Blood flow was abated by the liberal addition of snow and half a pack of tissues stopped my face looking like something out of Sweeny Todd.

That was just plain nasty, I'll try and think of some amusing ones.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
By far my worst slam was on my first attempt at snowboarding in 95. Having about a couple of hours of self taught boarding under my belt I had to use a narrow steepish path that linked two runs.
At that point I did not really know how to link turns so was mostly trying to snow plough my way down. However with two many skiers overtaking I ended up straightlining a bit too long, pick up way to much speed for my ability and....catch an edge! but because I was virtaully parralel to the fall line I didn't do a simple slam. I somehow (hard to explain) did a cartwheel, as if the front of the board had hit a ledge and the rear came up, causing my face/top of my head to slam into hard snow, then my back hitting again.... I needed a good 10 minutes after that to recover, seeing stars and splitting headache..... Did not touch a snowboard for another 12 years after that! Laughing


Last edited by You'll need to Register first of course. on Wed 13-08-08 11:16; edited 2 times in total
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 Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
long flatish hard packed piste run-off that needed speed in Saas Fee, only 10 - 20 days on a board, getting clever riding with the baord sort of flat (mistake) at speed - board edged towards toe side and weight was slightly on heel side resulted in me being launched as if I was in a high jump competition flying upwards and backwards (shoulders first) somersaulting about 5 times until landing on my head/goggles. Peolpe were stopping to ask if I was ok. Ouch ! and dented my confidence ....... for a few hours Very Happy
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 After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
rayscoops wrote:
Kruisler, the vid is better Very Happy


ooohhhhhh...where can I get a copy? Toofy Grin
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 You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
one time in adh on a flat section this little french kid came from nowhere and hit me side on
did have time to put my hands out and landed on my head and the piste was rock solid!!

in wengen a few years ago a slight bit of off piste in a few feet of powder,coming down a real nice gradient gaining loads of speed when i got too much snow on my board and it tipped me forwards
somersaulted down the mountain and it felt like my stomach got stretched
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 Ski the Net with snowHeads
Ski the Net with snowHeads
I can remember being taken out by a kid in a toboggan outside the lift station in belle Plagne, which then sent me tumbling into a crowd of rather lardy Krauts that battered me senseless with this kaiser moustaches!!

Other than that, video evidence of me misbehaving below...

Twisted knee-ness that really hurt

This little tumble left me with back pains for two months and no feeling in my fingers and toes for about the same

Oh, in La Plagne two winters ago I fell off a drag lift so isntead of walking, though I'd grab the next pole, which promptly dragged me 20 yards up a hill on my back bottom before springing out of my hand, breaking my top lip open in the process. The view for an adjacent chairlift must have been grotesque - a guy in mis-matching clothes writhing around in a pool of what looked like spilt Ribena...
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 snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
No tumble of mine, but my wife once decided (week three skiing) that she did not fancy a very icy red run in Kitzbuhel (http://www.snow-forecast.com/resorts/Kitzbuhel/pistemap_full No.38 now graded black).
So, it must be easier to take the skis off?
Needless to say feet went from under her, skis up in the air and she slid about 120 feet past numerous startled Austrians and others. Fortunate to stop just before a nasty ditch in one piece, she remarked "at least I am down".
A more action fall, at speed (rare) in Thyon saw her bounce several times down a green run. Lost of turned heads, bit like watching a motor race. Nasty bruises was all the damage.

Need a bit of luck!
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 And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
Me on any drag lift = Comedy
Me on any drag lift = There is always an audience
Me on any drag lift = Upside-down-ness, sideways-ness, back to front-ness
Me on any drag lift = Someone, somewhere will be able to corroborate
Me on any drag lift = To my knowledge, no photo evidence of the above
Me on any drag lift = I bloody hope the laughing audience got the divine retribution they deserve

Sad
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 So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
Straight lining in 10cm of fresh on 162 76 waist skis (The bottom of Lone Pine at Norquay, section after cat-track heading back to lift). Tips dive-madness. Knee popped, just weakness no resulting damage but that has to be my worst to date.

Went for a double at Lake Louise (Kiddies Corner-just off The Wall) both about 10ft, pitched the first one, double eject off the second.
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 You know it makes sense.
You know it makes sense.
In terms of injury, a dislocated middle finger on dendex but I've had a few scares in the past after heavy falls on my hips. Skullie

but the funniest was the 1st time on a drag lift. Comedy big air moment in front of very large queue of French skiers ...... it didn't get any better on the second go.
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 Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Dobz, ....err.... why do you go on drag lifts ?
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 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
All you drag lift victims have my full sympathy... but I do recommend getting back on the horse. I have no problem with even the worst surface lifts now, and I'm certain that it has improved my riding (particularly my Spidey sense™ for when I'm about to catch an edge) Little Angel


Last edited by Poster: A snowHead on Thu 14-08-08 8:45; edited 1 time in total
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 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Shallimus, there are two drags in the PDS, one in Avoriaz that is a catapult, and one at the bottom of the Swiss Wall that is just as bad. i have seen boarders on them and I have the utmost respect. Very Happy btw I have not been on either Laughing
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
rayscoops, those are nothing compared to the one above Les Gets, I've seen skiers fall off that one. (Smug as I didn't although it was a bit dicey, in fact I didn't fall off one last season)
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Swirly, Shocked
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 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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I have nothing to say on this matter
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You'll need to Register first of course.
DebbiDoesSnow,

OK.....

but have you got something to show?
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 Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
rayscoops wrote:
Dobz, ....err.... why do you go on drag lifts ?



I don't anymore but there have been occasions in the past when there was no alternative Sad
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 After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
rayscoops,Swirly
the one i went on in grindelwald was stupidly quick
boarders and skiers struggled
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 You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
As I said before, there's no reason to avoid drag lifts so long as you start easy. Find a baby poma and work on it... if a 4-year-old can get up it on skis, you can do it on a board. I had previously sworn off all drag lifts forever (see 'Bulgarian Rocket Launcher' tale of woe above) but was persuaded by a much better boarder to learn. After all, some runs are only accesible by surface lift, particularly at older resorts in Europe, and I know for sure (as I mention above) that my riding has improved thanks to my time on drag lifts.

I was in so much pain after my Bulgarian poma slam that I walked 2/3 of a mile uphill across piste to get to the gondola rather than attempt another poma or even ride down the loooooong green back to town, but I am now happy on any surface lift. Trust me - it's worth it Cool
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 Ski the Net with snowHeads
Ski the Net with snowHeads
Shallimus, My last attempt on a drag lift was on last year's MSB - the Tsuegen (Sp ?). It was painful, humiliating, horrible and such good comedy for the two skiers who were behind me. I gave up on the second attempt after clinging on for dear life while being bounced and battered and decided to walk up. That was one hell of a walk Sad I couldn't even board back down as there was no snow in places on either side of the drag.

I still have nightmares Sad
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 snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
Ouch Dobz! Shocked

I did that when I was little and skiing in S. Germany - fell over on a T-bar (I was about 8 or 9 and the instructor hadn't explained how to use the sodding thing!) I clung on with my hands for dear life and was dragged along. I was then rescued by an American snowboarder - the first snowboarder I'd ever seen in real life - who swooped in and told me "Let go!", then waited with me til my Dad came up to that level. I think at that point my path was set, because I realised I was wearing two little snowboards, but only needed one big one to look cool and have fun wink
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 And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
That...that's just painful
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