Poster: A snowHead
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I sought councel from the great admin regarding the best way to get Mrs. S. on board with the skiing bug, and how to convince her of the need for multiple ski holidays, and I thought his psychological masterpiece deserved a more prominent position than page 2 of the calendar thread, as it may be useful to others.
In full,
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Firstly adopt the perspective that 'the fact that you should ski as often throughout a season as logistically possible' is self-evidently true. Hence, she does not need convincing of that, because it's obvious and you've just disposed of what's probably the most difficult stumbling block.
However, before she realises what you've done there, you do need to begin managing her contentment with that particular 'truth'.
Here, you present the assumption that "it's sad that she will not be able, nor perhaps even desire to accompany you on all your trips". This is of course inconvenient and perhaps even a little selfish of her, as she will understand when you bemoan the fact that 'it's just not the same without her' and the mountains are only half as beautiful when she's not there.
Thus you produce a win-win situation: if she wins the 'argument', you go alone and have a wkid time; if you win the 'argument' she comes too and you both have a wikid time
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Anyway, armed with renewed belief, I broached the subject last night. I'm interested to know what the thoughts are about the genius (in my opinion) of my wording. (Just as an aside, Alfie is 10 months old.)
I chose my moment - in bed, lights out about 11pm, smalltalk about the day over, running Admin's coaching tips over and over in my head, I said:
"Do you plan to bring Alfie out on any of the ski trips next winter?"
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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brian
brian
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Get her drunk and then ask her. I've never had to persuade Mr Nadenoodlee (check me- still in a relationship and all!) although his first intro to snow was with me and he's been hooked ever since. Kids are an aside. THere are nannies etc
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Tell her how you didn't ski until your teens, tell her how you feel you missed out and you don't want Alfie to suffer like you did as a kid, tell her how much skiing has enriched your life emotionally, spiritually and socially, tell her about all the great friends you have made through skiing. Tell her Alfie will also gain emotionally, spiritually and socially. Tell her how skiiing has made you a better person. Tell her how skiing is great on your own but a special unique experience when she and Alfie are there with you sharing as a family. Tell her how Alfie will enjoy all that you have but from a much earlier age, tell her skiing will be help so much with the development of Alfie and every child in the world. Tell her breathing clean, fresh, pure mountain air is good for Alfie's long term health.
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Tim Sawyer, Tell her you'll send her a postcard.
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Tim Sawyer, is there anything she specially likes doing, that you don't?
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Thanks for all the tips guys.
We've skied together twice before - she's just not hooked, that's all. Strange but true.
I feel extremely fortunate that I have been given leave to go to Cham in feb for a long weekend with mates, and will work on the rest for next season. I reckon Alf will look cute in all the winter gear, which is what every mum loves to see, so hopefully we'll go as a family in the next year or two, and then I'll encourage Mrs. S. to help him potter on the nursery slopes while I get out of their hair for the day
pam w, I know where you're coming from on this one, but no, she basically loves being with me, which I can fully understand
Ordhan, that's pretty close mate, it wasn't a nice 3 mins, I can tell you.
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Cut the losertalk.
Tell her straight. Udaman. She's going skiing.
Job done.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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Tim Sawyer, you need to work on your questioning...
"Would you like to come skiing with me next year, or would you prefer if I went on my own, darling?"
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Sadly, i think this is going to cost your money. think of those lovely spa hotels in ski resorts. I suspect if that's where you book into you will be ok - its where I went wrong staying in cheap chalets. Booking ski trips without explicit consent works as well. I think the fact the locks aren't changed when I get back means she loves me (or doesn't want to upset the 3 kids)
Long term strategy indoctrinate Alfie. show him pcitures of lovely snowy places. If it snows in this country wrap him up warm and play in the snow with him. Tell him that's what the snowy mountains are like all the time. Tell him father christmas lives in the snowy mountains. At easter take him swimiing in the north sea on a cold day when he has turned blue ask him whether he would like a beach holiday or a snowy holiday in the snowy mountains in the lovely sunshine where father Xmas lives.
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You know it makes sense.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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WTFH wrote: |
"Would you like to come skiing with me next year, or would you prefer if I went on my own, darling?"
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See, that's what I mean by predisposing that the trips themselves are inevitable However, pause after this and you're dead in the water again. During those 3 minutes while you were sat like a rabbit in her headlights she completely regained the ground you took with your opening comment. She's obviously a clever one
The sentence WTFH suggests should be followed without pause for breath with, "Obviously I'd really much prefer you to be there but as you're not quite so keen on it yet, I suppose I can understand if you'd prefer not to come on all the trips. But please say you will come on some of them wont you?"
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"When are you picking the turkey up?"
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Well, I think you may have left it a bit late for a comeback on this one but in the moment, I'd have probably gone for something like "Oh I don't know, I thought we should go catered over Christmas. Well, looking at some of the deals available, it's probably cheaper than staying at home and it's clearly going to be much less hard work for you. You deserve to be looked after this year, don't you think?"
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Poster: A snowHead
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admin,
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"Oh I don't know, I thought we should go catered over Christmas. Well, looking at some of the deals available, it's probably cheaper than staying at home and it's clearly going to be much less hard work for you. You deserve to be looked after this year, don't you think?"
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That'd work well if it wasn't me that normally cooks Christmas lunch..
Am I an idiot?
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Tim Sawyer, I am married to a non-skier, who resists ANY suggestion he should have a go at all due to a tendency to back problems. I have, though succeeded in getting him to agree to a skiing hol, in JUNE! We are going to Easiski-territory, LDA, next summer where I will be able to ski, and he won't be left out as there is plenty else to do, including a visit up the glacier for pedestrians.
If he enjoys that, we'll take it from there!
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Tim Sawyer, you need to manage this situation. I have a mate whose wife told him she was absolutely fine with him going skiing on boys trips, but on his return she would check all the invoices and spend an identical amount on jewellery. He did it once or twice but didn't have the heart to continue. Now they go on holidays to Antigua etc...
Ghastly thought.
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You're all pussy whipped.
Get to resort, put on ski gear, get to top of highest point of ski resort. Whip out mobile phone, dial loved one-
"You'll never guess where I am dear!"
Sorted.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Says the single man
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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I have a mate whose wife told him she was absolutely fine with him going skiing on boys trips, but on his return she would check all the invoices and spend an identical amount on jewellery.
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my non-ski sister in law has this approach. She comes with him on some trips, but mainly likes to shop for complete tat. If he looks a bit disapproving, or dares to suggest they don't really need another dear little marmotte thing, she says "how much did you say your ski pass was again?" and he shuts up. Fair enough, I reckon. However, I think people should check before they get married on issues of such fundamental importance as whether they want children, and whether they want to go skiing.
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pam w wrote: |
However, I think people should check before they get married on issues of such fundamental importance as whether they want children, and whether they want to go skiing. |
Good idea, but doesn't always work
When we got married, neither of us had ever skiied, and I had never really thought of it as affordable.
Then 16 years later, my wife asked if I wanted a ski trip (just me) for my Christmas/Birthday present (I was watching Ski Sunday when she suggested it), I jumped at the chance, and have been hooked ever since.
But she has absolutely zero interest in even taking a winter holiday in the mountains, never mind skiing. She is reasonably happy for me to take the one trip per year though.
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I had never considered before this time last year that I might be able to ski - when at school, ski trips were strictly for the athletic, sports stars, not the likes of me! My hubby is very happy for me to go, but I have these guilt feelings that he should do/have something as recompense! Hence I really couldn't, with an easy conscience go more than once or twice a year. Mind you, having said that, this year I have a week at half term, our week in LDA in the summer (me and hubby), and with some friends (shh!) I am plotting to do a 3-day Tignes deal like last year at the end of April
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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alex_heney,
I too am 'granted' a week a year by a non-skiing other half. The bonus of this is that I can have numerous vicarious ski trips by following other blogs on here - rather than make me jealous, the pics and words make me feel as if I am there too.
This also has the bonus that it means all of my leave is not crammed into 3 months of the year, and i get to see some pretty cool places on holiday with the family.
Almost, but not quite the best of both worlds.
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Mind you, having said that, this year I have a week at half term, our week in LDA in the summer (me and hubby), and with some friends (shh!) I am plotting to do a 3-day Tignes deal like last year at the end of April
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NewSkier, it sounds rather like you are getting the hang of it. Fortunately we both like skiing, but when my husband had a year with a very unhappy knee, prior to getting it sorted out with an arthroscopy, I did a week solo trip to Tignes, on a ski-coaching week, which he would not have much enjoyed anyway. I have also been sailing solo, especially on training courses; he doesn't mind a sunny afternoon in the Med with a glass of cold white wine, but can resist a November week in the English channel! .
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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My wife married a non-skier. We're going, for three weeks, in January, with our 13 month old. I'm skiing every day. She caught me the bug, she's got to live with it!
And she does the ironing. I love Mrs Eeyore.
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I'm a wimp for most things and do as I'm told. For skiing holidays though I do have some back bone. Our first holiday together was skiing. Our wedding was planned for a skiing honymoon. There are some things in this life when a mans got to do what a mans got to do.
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You know it makes sense.
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My husband made our very first skiing trip the most memorable holiday I have ever had, (no details but dinner presents lots of attanetion etc.) so consequently I thought all ski trips would be like this and was therefore hooked. 7 years on I am still hooked on the skiing but he has weaned me off the nice non skiing bits gradually, so that we now go on a budget in order to be allowed more trips......
After reading this I realise I have been manipulated but since I still love the skiing who cares..... Also Antigua (and similar) requires a bikini and skiing doesn't
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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