 Poster: A snowHead
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I saw a pair of these in a shop in St Anton. Surf boards not skis. I suspect if Frosty went down it would be prudent to clear the piste 
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Amungst all the demos I'm bringing to the EoSB the narrowest in 90mm and the widest 110cm. I'll convert you all.  It's all about girth my friends.
Re the cutting edge shops in the UK. Have to say along with of the ones already mentioned, Freeze in Edinburgh is up there with the best as is 47degrees in London.
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| David Goldsmith wrote: |
| Do you like Morecambe and Wise? Yes, I thought so. |
Eric once lamented that there were no funny men anymore, only funny lines. While that might still be true in the professional sphere, I'm sure he would change his mind after a brief browse through this forum
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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| David Goldsmith wrote: |
That's one of the best posts I've seen from you in a long while, DB. Credible, authoritative, honest.
I'm going to shock you now by saying that I got all those sensations and advantages from the monoski, and even more power from the feet locked on a single deck. People slag off monoskis, but by keeping them fairly tight to the fall-line (i.e. avoiding traversing between turns), or by doing big round turns through the deep, they can be sensational fun with a calm upper body.
I take the polo off for apres, by the way. A nice open-necked cotton shirt is perfect for the intimate warm environment of a Zermatt bar. |
Well thank you very much David.
I too can see all the benefits of a mono-ski and would probably ride one too if I wasn't hetrosexual.
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| DB wrote: |
| I too can see all the benefits of a mono-ski and would probably ride one too if I wasn't hetrosexual. |
Nice of you to question my sexuality, DB.
Just as a technical note, monoskiers (male or female, straight or gay) keep their legs together but - more to the point - they have a lot of difficulty with pelvic thrusting actions. They don't have sex at all.
I first mounted (if that's the right word) a monoski in 1978. Rear-entry (if that's the right expression) didn't 'come' into my life until 1979, in the shape of the Salomon SX90, though there was a bit of foreplay with Hanson boots a couple of years before - very smooth entry with the silicone spray which Hanson supplied with the boots (you think I'm kidding?).
I first had sex with a woman (what business is it of yours?) in 1972. It would have been a year earlier with a girl in Val d'Isere, but things got slightly problematic in a chalet room. There's a lot more to that story which I'll relate in a pub sometime - certainly not here.
Was there any other technical information about monoskis you required?
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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David Goldsmith,
Thanks for the story of your sex life, it's hard to believe such a sex symbol, polo neck wearing ski icon as yourself was a virgin until 32 years of age. Glad it all worked out once you managed to get the top off the silicone spray.
PS it's your turn to get the beers in at the next mono-ski convention.
http://www.monoski.net/desktop.html
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Nice poster. Thanks for your interest
As Mike Lawrie mentions, Hanson boots were almost impossible without the silicone lubricant spray, like dry sex, so I can't imagine what his friend was up to. Maybe he bought the boots secondhand and never knew about the spray.
The reason for the difficulty in entering these vagina ski boots without the spray was simple. Hanson boots had liners like giant condoms - fat black synthetic rubber.
It sounds worse than it was. The boots were skiable and a huge novelty of their time (especially in terms of design and colour) so they commanded a stratospheric price, just a few years after man first stepped on the moon. The only problem with Hanson boots was that they held your foot and lower leg like glorified wellies. Meanwhile, Salomon had a virtual R+D university working on something ten times better.
Sorry, back to phat skis. If it stands for "physically attractive", what's physically attractive about skis that look like planks?
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Did DB screw up the page width?
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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| David Goldsmith wrote: |
| Did DB screw up the page width? |
I'll own up - it was comprex with that big ebay link a few posts ago.
David please talk us through this 1982 (give or take a few years) pic of you .....
http://www.monoski.net/images/action/pic003.jpg
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Sure, but it's not a monoski. My left phat ski had fallen off
The skisuit is from the Jef Wickes 'Cirencester B&Q' collection
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You know it makes sense.
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Thanks very much for clearing that up David as to the untrainned eye it looks like you were escaping from the fashion police or skiing for the Jamacian Mono-ski team.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Jamaica?
No, I was monoskiing on my own initiative.
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Poster: A snowHead
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Mono ski days used to be a standard tour company offering a few years back.
I was never tempted because they looked incredibly difficult to use. So, I take my hat off to anyone who can get on with them - homosexual or heterosexual.
I think snowboards killed them off. It is so much easier to progress with a snowboard, whatever your skill level.
David Goldsmith Too much information ! Your post will inevitably draw the question 'When did you first have sex with a man ?'. A little reticence on some matters is a good thing.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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| Latchigo wrote: |
| David Goldsmith 'When did you first have sex with a man ?' |
Funnily enough, the only serious attempt - certainly not initiated by me - was on the overnight sleeper train from Inverness to Euston after a weekend's skiing in 1976.
A wealthy London banker started plying me with drink in the bar and then I realised why! Luckily the compartments were lockable.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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David Goldsmith, What is this 'Jerry Springer' ?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
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| Quote: |
Luckily the compartments were lockable.
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David Goldsmith, Phew...you don't want folks walking in on your first time 
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Latchigo,
Totally agree that reticence is a good thing and somethings are best left unsaid. That's why I'm glad David hasn't mentioned his Tesco carpark (Cirencester) goat incident yet.
Last edited by Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do. on Fri 23-03-07 14:31; edited 1 time in total
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The train incident was quite interesting. The banker, it appeared, used that line quite frequently for the overnight commute to London. After I'd locked myself into the compartment, the attendant for the carriage kept knocking on the door insisting that the banker would love to continue the conversation. I reckon he was bribing the train staff to help in his seduction enterprises.
I got to Euston the next morning and saw the poor banker stagger of the train, drunk, and marched rapidly away with my ski bag and weekend bag.
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I'm sure it would make a good film - a latter day 'Brief Encounter' 
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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GrahamN, I've just spent 4 months reducing my weight from 74 to 68 kilo's. Now your telling me I should be 86 kgs to suit my Missions! David Goldsmith, 1972? Me too! Was she a phat women?
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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My first was in an alfasud 1.5ti with a phugly bird.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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To me "phat" skis are an admission for all to see that you have yet to learn to ski powder. 
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You know it makes sense.
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| Quote: |
Currently developing a theory that for off-piste you should look for a skis that's about the same underfoot in mm as you weigh in kg - based on the fact that I also found a huge difference in the soft stuff between 88 (BD Havocs) and 93mm (BD Kilowatts, Stockli DP Pros) underfoot, but gained little more going up to 97 (BD Verdicts, Dynastar Legend Pro Riders).
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Well, it works for your big boys. But for the 5', 50 kg girlies, that would make all skis phat skis?
Obviously not. Even my GS skis from the late 80's has more than 50mm waist.
Besides, that's not counting the fact skis come in different length. And if I'm not mistaken, it's the length that should go with the skier weight, not the width.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Dypcdiver,
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For me skinny skis are an admission that you haven't been skiing enough in the last few years (unless your name is Glen Plake)
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Your right, I only got 9 weeks in last season and this one looks even worse only 5 weeeks so far, I spend more time skiing though than wandering around ski shops seeing what is trendy this season!
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Poster: A snowHead
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abc, ah you spotted the flaw in developing a theory from one data point!!!!
Being a bit more serious, I think the important thing for soft snow is how the ski surface (so width is a gross simplification) area matches the weight - whereas for harder snow it's probably more related to edge length. But yes, for 5' 50kg girlies, I do believe pretty much all skis much bigger than a snowblade are phat skis. There is another point about ski width - in how it matches your foot width. If your ski is comparably wide to your foot then it's a very different movement getting on edge than if it's significantly narrower, which may make a significant difference to how they feel, particularly on piste. I hadn't really appreciated this until last week, when someone pointed while in the sauna that my feet were definitely "plates of meat"...they were about 50% wider than his, and we were not far off the same height (hence the looks of dismay on bootfitters' faces when I go in for a fitting  ). So someone with 70mm wide feet will get a quite different sensation when edging on 95 mm wide skis compared to me with 117mm wide forefeet. (Think about where the pivot point is, and that your foot is a way off the ski, then you see that the narrower foot will actually lift away from the snow surface as the ski is tipped, whereas the wider foot will get closer to the snow surface).
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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I'm not sure that's correct, though hasten to add that I'm no mechanic.
Since the foot and lower leg are locked into the boot shell (which itself is solidly clamped to the top surface of the ski), the edge-to-edge leverage comes from the leg rather than the foot. I don't think the width of the boot sole would affect the amount of side-to-side movement of the lower leg needed to change edges, or hence the speed of that change.
If a ski boot allowed a significant amount of rocking action from the ankle joint, the influence of the foot width might be more significant.
But, as I say, over to a mechanic?
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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David Goldsmith, yes I think there's a fair bit in what you say. One obvious place where the foot width is irrelevant is that the boot is fixed into the ski by pretty much the same sized binding, but I think the important thing is where you experience the application of pressure by the body, and a fair bit of that pressure goes directly through the foot. When you put the ski on edge you feel a definite pressure on the edge of the foot (maybe proportionally less with a race fit boot - I don't know), and even I certainly feel a huge difference in how the foot moves comparing my slalom skis to something like a 95mm ski, particularly that of the inside foot. For the same edge angle though the amount of lateral movement of the leg is pretty much the same, but the relative position of the foot and the pivot point are quite different.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Following on from "mountainbugs" original question about "are phat ski needed?" - I ski a lot and know that fat skis help you float (tried some ridiculous if very fun K2 pontoons the other day - more like a pair of kayaks than skis) but I dont think that was what she was getting at, isnt free-ride skiing heading more to an all mountain ski that will carve on-top of the snow pack at high speed - so not requiring the width of a pair of snowboards strapped to your feet - just the guts to pull it off?
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in garbure we trust, funny you mention kayaks, one can surf the top wave or slice deeper...
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FAQ
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