What to do when your wife doesn't like skiing as much as you do?

A snowHead

Nadenoodlee, what's the going rate for

A snowHead

kosciosco,

For several years I had a similar problem. We skied once - then couldn't afford it for various reasons - then had first child. Around this time my wife sensed my "frustrations" and suggested I went with my mates who skied without their wives. I had 2 or 3 holidays like this the last one being whilst she was pregnant with our second child (went down well with the women I met whilst away, they thought I was a pig! - but Wife was happy enough!). When out second was 12 months we went with my folks who looked after number 2 child whilst wife & daughter were in the brilliant Red Devils ski school in Kitzbuhel - the beauty of this being they ski ALL DAY with ski school and the group gets really close-nit for spending so much time together. When our second was 2 - we booked a really nice Chalet with excellent child care - this was her main concern. The bonus to this chalet that I wasn't really expecting, was that the chalet hosts "guiding" us - in separate groups, one for beginnners, one for the more advanced - again, skiing all day with people at her level.

Whilst I am mightily releaved that she got the bug again (especially as we were going through the buying process in Samoens!), the downside was that I assumed my "lads" holidays would end - but NO!!!! Smile

I have to help out a few other friends whose wives don't like skiing, by accompanying them to our apartment - Hurrah!

My hints - choose the best ski school, everyone will have an opinion on this, but I would recommend Austria for this personally (despite being a fan of France for every other reason!), make sure you don't offer advice, and ease her into going rather than bully - make sure she thinks its her idea.

ATB. snowHead

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

In my case I simply lowered my expectation to suit my better half. I skied at her speed and stayed on the slopes she would be comfortable with.

It was hellish at the beginning and slowed down my progress considerably. However as she picks up more skill I can enjoy more.

Now we can go anywhere together. It is truly a sport that we both can enjoy.

Everybody improves by practising more so if a couple want to share the skiing experience together the better one has to give up a bit of progress to accommodate the weaker one.

To me sharing a lunch together in a stunning surrounding is just as important in conquering the slopes.

You need to Login to know who's really who.

kosciosco, Are you close to MK? If possible why don't you come along to the Ellis Brigham ski tests on Saturday. I'm sure you don't have to test skis, we could have a chat. the most important thing about skiing is to allow your partner to enjoy what they enjoy. this may mean not skiing together too muych, but will be worth it. I see it too often when one of the couple wants to be adventurous and the other is nervous - usually ends with the nervous person being almost totally frightened off altogether. Get her some lessons at MK before going next time, book private or small group lessons - big groups are hopeless for slower learners. You must persuade her to have another go. Very Happy

Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.

You'll need to Register first of course.

Divorce?

Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...

Have we established that she is YOUR wife?

After all it is free

eng_ch, oh sweetie im just being practical! Marriage is evil!

Nadenoodlee, don't be so cynical. All he needs to do is get divorced and find someone who wants to scrifice their life to skiing. It is perfectly straightforward.

Anyway, welcome back, what have you been doing for the summer?

*Ski* the Net with snowHeads

Had a similar issue but what turned it was down to a few things.

Staying in very sociable accommodation can make for fun evenings.

Not wanting to do your family planning for you, but when my wife saw families skiing together she saw the benefits of an active, family holiday. Given our kids are really young we figured best get proficient before the kids get old enough to ski with us.

We also went to Austria last year whereb the hotels seem spa happy. If you skied by morning and went swimming, spa-ing in the afternoon it balances out what you are doing rather than it being (perceived by your wofe) as a hard skiing holiday.

Suggestion - go for a 4 day weekend so that attentions are maintained at a high level.

Go for a super gentle resort like Cervinia.

snowHeads are a friendly bunch.

i spent the best part of a week keeping my missus company . and even walking down in front of her at the beginning.. i was happy to grab a few hours on my own in the morning and the last hour or so with the kids... i didnt begrudge a second of it as she is happy for me to take trips with the lads on my own, and she had a much better time, despite hating sking despite wanting to like it (if you get my drift)

snow reports

kosciosco, I have the same problem. Actually, I don't... I have a husband who doesn't enjoy it as much as I do rolling eyes

Luckily though, he realises that there's no way that I'm gonna give this up and has no problem, as long as we can afford it, letting me go on my own.
This year, there's definatley one week that he'll be coming along to in March - to more comfortable slopes that he knows, with chair lifts on the nursery slopes, with two friends who we're introducing to the sport, so in that respect there'll be no pressure on him.
The lack of pressure (percieved or real) is what, I think, makes the difference.

Go with my mates and sometimes their families.

My wife doesn't like it and has hereditary dodgy knees. She came with me and the kids last half-term for the first time in about 12 years but quickly realised that she really didn't like skiing. Neither does my son but my daughter is game for it. So what to do? Just me and daughter go skiing? Go with whole family to a resort where there is plenty for non-skiers? Skiing holidays with the lads are getting awkward as they are coming under pressure from their wives.

You know it makes sense.

Perhaps you need to resign yourself to one holiday of pampering to Mrs K's skiing needs - going all out on private lessons for her, skiing the greens and blues slowly with her when she is not having her lessons (you can then go for a bit of a blast while she is) but also as others have said make her see that a ski holiday can involve more than just skiing. Do things like taking a microlight flight to a refuge for an amazing lunch, piste basher up the mountain for dinner, curling, ice skating, swimming, spas and stay somewhere where she will be pampered and may also meet fellow beginner skiiers perhaps who she can share her experiences with. If after a week of this she is still not hooked to the winter holiday idea then you will have to divorce her. Alternitively you may find you end up with a pretty good ski partner - and you will only of sacrificed one week of ripping up the mountain yourself and lets face it - probably had quite a nice time as well!! Very Happy

Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:

kosciosco,

You are going to have to go out all guns blazing. Make it a final top top effort, all about her, and try to get her some confidence on the slopes, whatever it takes lessonswise. Not many like what they can't appear to do.

If this doesn't work, you have tried everything and she'll probably allow you to go alone (within reason) as you both know its not for her.

Its worth the sacrifice and expense to do this and its win/win for you. You get the OH on holiday...desirable..or you get to max out with the lads at the snowHead

bashes...uber desirable Laughing

A snowHead

A snowHead

I can only agree with the others who have said that if you want to continue to go on plenty of skiing holidays then you need to make the next one all about her. The thing is that you're only a bit ahead of her just now so if she had some really good private lessons she could catch up and then you'd be able to ski the same runs together - much more enjoyable. The spa, shopping, nice restaurants bit would probably help too (I know I wouldn't be complaining too much about achey legs after an afternoon at a spa!! Laughing

) And a hottub at your accommodation would be a bonus too wink

- how about Canada or the States?

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

You need to Login to know who's really who.

homphomp, bravo. I think you've said it all.

Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.

You'll need to Register first of course.

I'd try to persuade her to go for one more holiday, taking the advice above about private lessons and a good instructor (really important bit that - a good instructor who will make it fun is more important than it being a private lesson), but if she really doesn't want to go then I don't see why you can't go with your friends. She's right that it's a lot of money for a holiday if she's not going to enjoy it, so why not let her spend the equivalent on what she wants - long spa weekeds in the UK, or just a holiday that she wants to go on.

I kind of know where she's coming from - I'm not too fussed about going skiing with my husband next year, but I'm quite happy for him to go with the usual gang, without me. In fact I wouldn't dream of telling him he can't go skiing just because I don't fancy it. (Of course, I haven't missed a holiday so far, since the first time I said I wasn't going, I changed my mind as soon as Canada was picked for the holiday, and this year someone dropped out just after the group booking was made, so I made up the numbers) snowHead

Good luck!

Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...

kosciosco, Also - try to make sure that it's NOT a competition... different people develop at different rates, so try to make sure that your much better half is not stressing about holding you up.

Could she get to Bowles for our coffee mornings ?

After all it is free

Live abroad so you are only 35 minutes from the slopes. Then hit the empty slopes at 8:00AM and be back home for a late lunch every Sunday for 5 months (unless the weather is bad). Your wife can have a lie in and will hardly miss you at all.

Thanks for all the comments - Divorce is definitely not an option! Smile

The background is that when we went this year she had had one bad experience when she was 18 and I had never been. We did 6 hours of lessons at MK, then went to Courch and both had lessons for a week.

She struggled slightly, I think mainly down to nerves - I'm more happy throwing caution to the wind than she is! - So we organised a private two hour lesson and it did help.

I think she would enjoy it if we went again, but I think now it is about the combination of cost and the fact that there is no one we know of the same level.

It also doesn't help that none of my family ski and they have no hesitation in telling me I am crazy to spend that kind of money on skiing when there are other things we need the money for rolling eyes

- It really doesn't help my argument!

I think going back to Courch would help as it would be more familiar and therefore induce less nerves.

I have half a mind to get her to read this.

*Ski* the Net with snowHeads

kosciosco, who did you have ski lessons with in Courchevel? I think the skiing there is very well suited to nervous beginners. so going back would be a good choice.

snowHeads are a friendly bunch.

kosciosco, Joining a similar type group would be a great help IMV. Doesn't snowHead

offer such a thing???

There should be a thread on " Who wants to make up a small ( like-minded ) group...!!!

snow reports

kosciosco,
I am not sure that going back to Courchevel would be the best thing to do.
Mrs k has already had one dissapointing experience there why repeat it?
A large consideration seems to be cost, I have skied a lot in the alps and with the possible exception of Meribel. Courchevel is by far the most expensive place I have skied.
It has great easy skiing but so do a lot of other places.
The point about Courchevel is it suits advanced skiers as well as beginners and so is good for a mixed party. If your wife is intimidated by the skiing biz and lots of other good skiers buzzing around a quiet resort would probably suit a lot better. As you are in the second week you are not going to miss out.

If you go to a quiet Austrian resort you will generally be able to save quite a lot of money, have more comfortable accomodation and ski in more attractive surroundings.
There are also likely to be a lot more skiers at the same level at least some of whom should be good company. snowHead

T Bar, I'd agree with that.

I'd also suggest one of the Aosta Valley reorts like Courmayeur or Pila as they are inexpensive, the food is great, Courmayeur is quite pretty and the slopes are beginner friendly. (Mrs Axs learned at Pila and loved it). Pila is a cable car ride up from the town of Aosta which has real shops and restuarants etc for if Mrs kosciosco wanted to do something else for the odd afternoon.

You know it makes sense.

ALpe d'huez is another good ski resort for a group inc nervous beginners due to the big open bowl and will be cheaper than courchevel. La Plagne likewise has alot of confidence building runs (its flat) -sorry not my fave resort although there are some on here who must be fans. However again La Plagne will be cheaper than Courchevel and may be confidence building.

However I think Courchevel grooms its slopes far better and I prefer Courchevel of the two. I would say there is a lot of sense in trying to make the general holiday experience more enjoyable eg nice accom, option of spa/swimming pool. Sadly these luxuries usually come at a cost. I think these may have helped me with Al. One of the problems of the more down market chalets is thay're not actually comfortable place for people to sit down and read a book if they don't fancy skiing.

Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:

I think Easiski did have an idea for a women's group last winter that never really materialised. I think the idea may have been lesons for the girls, and guiding/race training etc for any accompanying partners. Perhaps we could do that? If it isn;t possible to do in Les Deux Alpes, I may be able to organise something in Serre Chevalier, the Hotel Rif Blanc is being refurbished , and there is my apartment and several others too, which I could sort out. Skiing with Eurekaski or other english speaking instructors.

A snowHead

I think good piste grooming is important. Nothing worse for a nervous beginner than finding what should be a gentle blue all heavily chopped up & mogulled. Plus of course good tuition. I would actually say try Canada as they have good daily piste reports and good ski schools. But there is a slight matter of cost & time of course Very Happy

. Otherwise, I've never found particularly good tuition in Austria. I think a French resort with a good English or independent ski school that's been recommended would be far better.

A snowHead

cathy, we found grooming to be worse in Canada than Europe.

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

Helen Beaumont, really? We've found it to be better than Austria for sure, but it has been a while since I've been to France. In some Canadian resorts, they tend to do all the greens & the easy popular blues practically every day, most of the rest of the blues about every 3 days and the single blacks occasionally.

This is particularly Big White/Sun Peaks that I remember from last year & I'm pretty sure Banff had a similar pattern.

You need to Login to know who's really who.

Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.

How about going later in the season. The novelty of warm sunshine and getting a tan in March when it's still drizzly and cold at home might appeal more.

Consider going to a compact cheap area like Puy Saint Vincent. Miles cheaper than the big names and if you have a spare hour, you can zoom off to the top of the mountain to let off some steam. No endless travelling on link lifts and pistes or feeling like you are wasting your full area lift pass.

You'll need to Register first of course.

rob@rar.org.uk, We had lessons with Supreme, who were absolutely brilliant.

JT, I think being able to join a similar type group would be a big plus. We don't know many people who ski, and most ski well. So it means that you are totally reliant on meeting people at a similar level while you are out there. Not easy when you don't have a lot of confidence and might feel like you are slowing people down even if you aren't.

T Bar, I don't think it was Courchevel that provided the disappointing experience. In a way it was nice to be in a resort that had such a wide choice of easier runs, and the English speaking ski school was a major plus point!

Mrs K read the replies this morning.....

Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...

cathy, certainly Sunshine mountain was far less grommed than European ones. Whistler was definitely not well groomed. Parts of Blackcomb were good though.

After all it is free

*Ski* the Net with snowHeads

Message from Mrs K

Lots of interesting suggestions, especially finding the instructor stud and getting a good solicitor! I've suggested he might want to go with some friends while I go on a spa break, but he just won't let me get rid of him!!! Blush

My main problem with skiing is the height combined with speed thing - I see a big drop in front of me Shocked

and I want get away from it rather than throw myself down on a pair of planks. That combined with gondolas and chairlifts made our skiing holiday last winter quite an emotional rollercoaster! Having said all that, I really enjoyed the mountains, snow, nice lunches with new friends, apres ski, etc. I did actually find the trip helped me deal with the fear of heights thing - by the end of the week I didn't give a second thought to the gondolas etc.

I normally thrash the pants off Mr K at other sports, so I'm glad he's found something he's better at - the question is do i stick with skiing in the hope of eventually overcoming fears....or do we get a new kitchen....? Puzzled

The other thing is, on the last day of our ski trip I fell and twisted my knee - had huge swelling on inside of knee and massive bruise that took about 2 months to go - did I do in my ACL? If so, is there anything skiers do to avoid doing it again?

Help!!

What to do when your wife doesn't like skiing as much as you do?

snowHeads Forum Index >>> The Piste