Skiing Nerves

A snowHead

@Mollerski, I think it could be a matter of finding an Instructor who has experience of, and a good reputation for, helping really nervous skiers become more confident.

For example, Floss Cockle (highlighted earlier), said this about her background and first attempt at skiing, "My story is different from most other stories. The majority of ski instructors come from a ski racing background. They are people who are born in the mountains and on skis. Just like you, I was an ordinary British person who was born in England where there was no snow or large mountains to ski down. A career of being a ski teacher was not recognised as being a proper job...

At the end of my first week of skiing, the instructor did manage a sentence in English. He said to my parents, “Skiing is not for your daughter. ” Hearing that sentence just destroyed me and gave me no confidence at all.

However, my Dad had other ideas. I wasn’t allowed to give up. Through his eyes giving up was a failure. Because of my Dad, I was back skiing again with the family on the next winter holiday.

IMV. This makes her exactly the sort of person who could help.

A snowHead

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

@Old Fartbag,

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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.

Must admit I am sceptical in this case that an instructor that can help "really nervous skiers become more confident" but worth a go I guess given the subjects keenness.

To the OP I do agree that your next holiday should be focused on using one of the recommendations rather than anything else to see if it ends up any differently to normal.

Good luck.

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@Mollerski, the instructor who runs the Ski Goddess courses has a qualification in Sophrology as well as skiing. So there's one for starters. Smile

After all it is free

A thing that helped me with nerves, was we went to a quiet resort where I could concentrate on my skiing and not be worried about being taken out from behind. ( which happened quite a bit when I was learning and on blue runs with lots of other learners who fancied themselves as ski racers, but couldn't turn). So I got better at turning, and stopping and doing both at higher speeds. To be honest Id rather a steep icy black now than go on a crowded blue run. I think its people I hate, lol.

@ElzP, Had to google that one. Yep, give it crack. Ski yoga could be the next big thing. NehNeh

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@alanbarry95, apart from skiing do you guys do any other action/adventure sports or activities?

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Interesting comments on this problem so I'll add my thoughts...
When I started skiing in 1983 I was terrified of being on a chairlift at the local dryslope and would only use the tow. I liked skiing but at that point could only snowplough very slowly. When we went on snow in Scotland Mrmogulski and our 2 sons were racing away down slopes then standing at the bottom waiting for me, shouting 'mother speed up and turn' as I traversed across the piste until I ran out of slope and often fell over. (Men ski on testosterone!) I realised I needed to do something to get better. We were both teachers and enrolled on the local authority course to become Ski Leaders so we could instruct our school pupils. We had instruction on dryslope every week during school terms for 2 years and in 1989 qualified as Ski Leaders. Looking back my skiing was still very basic and I was still frightened in anything other than good conditions. I knew what to do but could not make my body do it so became tense. What really overcame my problems was when our sons started competing in mogul skiing and hubby and I trained as mogul judges to help with the competitions on dryslopes as they needed volunteers. I could then look at people skiing and see exactly what they were doing, right or wrong to give a score. I got a picture in my mind of how I wanted to look and everything eventually came together. I got really involved and became chair of GBR Freestyle committee, chair of Freestyle selection panel and both of us became world cup mogul judges (hence being Mogulski and Mrmogulski) We have retired from that involvement now just enjoying our own skiing. I can now say I am confident in all conditions, love skiing bumps and ice doesn't terrify me. Pre-Covid when there were still lots of chalet holidays we often found a terrified mother trying to keep up with the rest of the family. We helped several people by spending a few hours with one of us infront, getting the person to follow exactly in the leaders tracks and the other one of us skiing behind and giving encouragement. Often the problem was that the terrified person could not 'read' the snow and find a line they could easily ski. By following one of us they lost their fear and could then navigate themselves along. We will be out in France for about 9 weeks this winter doing childcare for our youngest granddaughter to let her parents work - but not every day, we need ski-time too. I am looking forward to my birthday this year as I will then get a free 3valleys season pass which Mrmogulski has had for the last 2 winters!

You know it makes sense.

@mogulski, What a fascinating story.

Dig deep enough and many of us personally struggled, or have partners/children/friends that have struggled with skiing. It's a very familiar tale.

Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:

@mogulski, Insperational
Great post.
Happy Birthday coming up and congratulations, I'm one year behind you, and looking forward to be able to pick up my free ski pass not this season but next. If I last that long.

On the fear thing....
I always get the "colly wobles" when I get off a lift at the top of some high spot and think to myself "can I, can't I?"
The longer I look at it the worse it gets, and I'm only cured after that first turn.

I don't think I'm alone on this.

A snowHead

I would very surprised if any skier has not experienced fear and nerves to the point where they get muscle freeze. But after 15 weeks skiing being a "bag of nerves" and "as soon as we get off the lift, she freezes and struggles down, even on a gentle blue" is different gravy. Hence the slightly desperate measures the OP is resorting too.

I think it's an interesting question posed above "do any other action/adventure sports or activities" because I have felt and largely overcome fear and nerves in other activities.

A snowHead

My wife had similar issues to the OP's, she just gave up coming skiing and now our family ski trips are just my son and I. She's much happier for it.

My strategy to avoid any nervousness at the top of a challenging run is to do a 180 off a lip or bump near the start of the run. That way I'm dialled in to a more relaxed, playful frame of mind at the start. I accept this probably wouldn't appeal to the OP though.

Interesting point on the other adventure sports, I have found that paddling out on a surfboard in large waves is much scarier than anything I have ever experienced skiing (thankfully I have never been in an avalanche) so I guess that has dulled the fear for me a bit. Jumping off cliffs while coasteering also has a similar effect.

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

I recommend a dry ski slope. Do it until you get bored. Then add a wee jump half-way down. Then increase the height of the jump. Then add some wax on the bottom of the skis, etc. Once you get the hang of Dendex at speed, then real snow is a piece of piste.

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Hi, I’ve just come across this thread and thought I might also be able to offer a few tips.
For years I was a super super nervous skier (I was that person crying and frozen with fear at the top of the mountain) but gradually over time I’ve managed to overcome it.
As someone mentioned above, I’d happily ski a harder slope now than chance a crowded blue slope.
Here are some of things that I did that helped me overcome my fear…….

- Took a private lesson at the start of the holiday to correct any bad habits. (I still do this now)
- Went to quieter resorts for a few years where the slopes wouldn’t be so crowded.
- I skied the same slope over and over and over again until I felt brave enough to tackle other slopes.
- Much to my displeasure I had to quit drinking whilst on holiday because it shot my nerves the following day. I’m happy to say I can now chance a cheeky beer or two in the apres ski but for a few years it was no drink for me!
- I always get a good breakfast inside of me.
- I wear my headphones in just one ear and listen to music while skiing. I also sing when I’m skiing. I know I look mad singing the Wombles at the top of my voice while skiing down the mountain, but it takes my mind off the fear and keeps me happy. Just to note, from a safety aspect, you should never listen to music in two ears or have it so loud that you can’t hear what’s going on around you.
- And finally, I learnt the art of “side sliding”. Now whenever I am in a steep situation that I think I can’t handle, I just side slide my way to a more comfortable position.

Tell you wife to stick at it. She sounds like a determined and resilient lady and I’ve every faith she’ll get there in the end. If crying, snotting, me can overcome my skiing fears, then anyone can. Big brave hugs and best of luck to her.

Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.

I would also second the suggestion of a Ski Goddess course - if you can, perhaps send her off for a few days to ski with other ladies of a similar level or similar nervous disposition. Where everything else is laid on and she doesn’t have to worry about the kids or cooking dinner or anything else. And the instructors are all wonderful and patient and specialise in exactly this (and all female if that might also help).

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@alanbarry95, All of the wonderful and very well meant advice above, could potentially put your wife under more pressure if she were to read it. As in, 'they've all managed to overcome their nerves, why can't I?' In my opinion and general experience, less overcome their fear of skiing than those that do. By virtue of the fact that they're on this forum talking about it put's the above in a very small majority in relation to the skiing British public. I do also understand that you are seeking advice/pointers which may help and now you have plenty.

I'm sure that your wife will soldier on as she sees fit, one way or another.

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I concur with most. I used to be really slow and overly cautious, but am now just fairly slow...

The things that helped me were having a lesson in a small group, either 2 or max 6 persons. We skied in Serre Chevalier and had lessons with New Generation. I think (although it's decades ago now!!) Gavin was in charge there and had 'Scottish John' who was our instructor. He just laid out the lessons in a very mature and understandable way. We had great fun and gained a lot in terms of confidence and ability. The smaller group helped a lot and we outlined what we wanted to achieve from the lessons. Each person had feedback relevant to them and he would focus on each person. I think we had maybe 3 or 4 sessions max.

The other thing that helped me was going 3 times in around 12-14 months, so we had a holiday in February or early March, another in August (admittedly in Chile!) and another in March or so. Going relatively quickly in succession helped to sustain the level reached at the end of each period and then I wasn't starting from the base level all over again.

Of course a lot of the above depends on a bit of time and money.. but it is well spent.

After all it is free

When your wife doesn’t enjoy her first day skiing, what does she do for the remainder of the holiday, does she bail on the skiing or keep pushing herself and feeling nervous which isn’t a great feeling on holiday,

You say she is happy doing Chillfactore, do you need to return to same resort each year and you wife do a few runs that she knows well, we ski in the same area each year and now I know which runs I like and feel comfortable on, I know there are so many ski resorts out there to explore but I’m at an age where I’m happy doing what I know.

Hope your wife enjoys skiing this season

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Derek (and Shona) Tate in St Gervais might fit the bill of sports psychologist & instructor.
Derek has a masters in positive applied psychology and is an IASI trainer and general nice, super pleasant bloke. I haven’t skied with Shona, but she has also recently hung up her trainer’s jacket and does run female specific courses (including an intro to off piste).

Have a look at BASS Chamonix. I think you’ll find their bios there.

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I agree with all about finding the instructor.

But also, check her boots. Maybe they are too big and the actual problem is, she can't control the skis.

Failing that being the issue, find a green run and have her go down It until SHE is bored out of her mind and wants something different, then another green run. Try and find one without a lot of people so she's concentrating on SKIING, not accident avoidance. Don't move her to blue until all the greens are boring. She first needs to become used to changes in terrain before upping the ante.

There's a book by Mermer Blakeslee about handling fear. It has several different titles but many women find it helpful. http://www.mermerblakeslee.com/skiingConversation.html

You know it makes sense.

Slightly different view incoming but relevant imo. I’ve played rugby all my life since age 7 and now at 53 I coach senior men’s rugby. When I took up skiing aged 39 I had zero skill or technique but knew that was all learnable. What I did have was a healthy knowledge and respect that I could take a fall, withstand an impact, get back up and brush myself off and go again.
So I’ve never feared skiing or the prospect of getting hurt. I had a bad accident in 2015, whilst stationary a skier hit me from behind at an estimated 30 mph. I had some pretty severe fractures but once physically recovered had no real psychological affect and just got straight back to skiing the following year accepting it was just an accident due to recklessness by the other skiing. But rationally it was one collision out of millions of potential collisions which never happen so I still feel safe.
One of my rugby players mid 20’s is really talented, gifted runner and ball player but he’s scared of a bit of biff, he enters every contact half heartedly because he’s scared he’ll get hurt. Ironically this leads to more pain than just preparing yourself and launching whole heartedly and embracing the physicality of the game. It’s such a shame because I see how it holds back his game but it’s hard to coach being mentally tough if the player won’t make the leap of faith.
So for me this nerves/fear thing is more a psychological issue than a technique, teaching, lesson etc issue. I know the two are linked, of course they are, they must be and with good skills you can definitely reduce the risk of getting hurt and thus reduce the fear. Some fear is good and necessary but irrational fear is a crippler.

Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:

This scenario very much describes my wife. She loves the skiing holiday but has all the nerves and issues described. I think location is the biggest factor here that can be worked to your advantage. Here is what works for her.

We go to Meribel every year. Take the Rhodos gondola up and turn left onto the green Altiport run. Then she just laps that with the aid of the Altiport chairlift. The run is mega mellow but long enough to make it feel not so much like a nursery slope and my wife smiles happily all day every day there. She never gets the nervous breakdown on this run, but would on pretty much any other run anywhere else in the world (we've tried many) and is happy to be left to for a few hours here and there, while the kids and I play in the 3 valleys.

She loves the mountains and live music and beer and good food too, so a small green trail leads to the Ronnie for beer and music each day from the bottom of the Altiport run. No worries about getting down, at end of day. Bus stop right outside the Ronnie or a bus from Altiport or Gondola down depending on what we wan to do next.

We run a finely tuned operation that keeps all happy and wanting to re-book the moment we get home.

A snowHead

@beeryletcher, I’m intrigued to know what her own perception and explanation is for how and why she feels the way she does. What is her own understanding of why she can clearly competently ski this one run but not any other?

A snowHead

@jirac18, it is a question of the run not having a single element that could be feared, so:

1) it is truly green gradient throughout its length - nowhere is there one of those "it's a little bit steeper for a bit, but you can see it is OK over there when we get there" features
2) there are no rollers that you can't see over - any terrain change is truly mild
3) there is no point where you are approaching something you cannot see beyond until you get to it
4) there are no drop offs on either side anywhere - in fact mostly either side of the piste is just large areas of ungroomed similar gradient terrain
5) you can see very large amounts of what is coming all the time
6) it is very wide, no track sections
7) always tons of room for people to pass and not massively busy
Cool

it is so gentle that speed demons really can't get a ton speed up
9) there is a nice piste side very easy to access cafe just in case a break is needed
10) access to and from this area needs no travelling across more scary places

There might be other things too, but I can't remember. A deviation from any of those can induce the fear, which leads to freezing up and even muscle cramps. Not being a sufferer of such things it is quite hard to understand, but we worked on this and tried many things until we found something that works and we can all enjoy the mountains as a family. (Although I do sneak off on other ski trips with my brother, so maybe trying to sort this has been easier for me to be patient knowing there are other trips for me let loose in the season).

Where did all this come from? Well it is part physical - that aspect has been majorly resolved via a Ski Mojo. By the time that got worked out though, the now much larger psychological problems had taken deep deep root.

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

Hello, I didn't start skiing till I was in my late 40s, then menopause struck which made my anxiety levels a tad worse. Also, my profession involves assessing health and safety risks. So you can imagine staring down a slippery slope on a mountain with perceived sheer drops is frightening. The body tenses up and the brain screaming 'dont' do it because you might break a limb or die!' It is a constant battle I have to deal with, and there are times I wonder why do I spend over a grand to put myself at risk sliding down a mountain? The reason being is that when I am in control, I'm relaxed and it is a fantastic feeling. I assume your wife has experienced those moments?

I think what is important for me is to:
a) learn how to hockey stop (still learning),
b) how to side slip,
c) become familiar with the runs,
d) go at my own pace and alone if necessary
e) get an instructor who leads the way down the 'unknown' slope, thus taking away one of the 'stresses' of getting lost and ending up on a black slope scenario!

If there is an indoor ski dome or dry slope nearby, I strongly recommend joining a club, to maintain confidence (or to stop it slipping away!).

Please don't give up! The 'woohoo' feeling outweighs the 'oh c**p' feeling hands down Very Happy

Help!!

Skiing Nerves

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