 Poster: A snowHead
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| Old Fartbag wrote: |
| midgetbiker wrote: |
I use Hellmann's chilli mayo, as I'm convinced it has a lower freezing point than the standard. |
It for this sort of invaluable information, that I started the thread.
Would Garlic Mayo help clear a space, or make you seem more like a local? Is it one of those imponderables - a Known Unknown, as it were? |
Ingenious!
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Keep any water bottles in the outside pocket of your rucksack. This way will ensure you have a flavourless, unlickable ice lolly available when thirsty if it’s a bit nippy.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Having made multiple trips to France over the years, when your group decides that this year it's going to be Italy, you can save valuable seconds on your holiday (you'll never get that time back) by only briefly skimming the holiday details. After all, when it comes to International travel, it's always best to just follow your instincts.
Then, when you turn up at Gatwick at some god-forsaken hour of the morning, and a helpful Airline Rep is explaining that, no, the 6.20 to Turin in fact leaves on a *Sunday*, you can be reaping the benefits of:
- a successful dry run, proving out your choice of taxi-firm and providing them with valuable repeat business - well worth £60 in anybody's money
- knowledge that you can fire up just enough motor and cognitive skills on two hours sleep to get you to the airport, *and* then go for the double and do it two nights on the trot
- finally assembling at check-in with the group and being met by the self-same Airline rep with a cheery "Oh it's you again!" to provide much amusement to your fellow travellers - a gift that will keep on giving throughout the holiday, and indeed for every subsequent holiday. For years.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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@Pejoli, a very familiar tale in our family, although not a ski trip, turns out there are two 11 o'clocks each day so you might be 12 hours late if you assume. About 30 years on TurdyMcFlude still hasn't been allowed to forget that one.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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| SnoodlesMcFlude wrote: |
| @Pejoli, a very familiar tale in our family, although not a ski trip, turns out there are two 11 o'clocks each day so you might be 12 hours late if you assume. About 30 years on TurdyMcFlude still hasn't been allowed to forget that one. |
Even more embarrassingly, I have previous form as well. 35 years ago, I turned up for my holiday flight to Instanbul. Bang on time, but I was at Gatwick, and the plane was at Heathrow.
Some people, eh.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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When coming up to a ski lift queue approach at full speed while preparing for a dramatic stop to impress your friends. Then realise that you don't have enough space for dramatic stop so steer round the back of the queue at barely diminished speed until you are stopped by the lifties hut. Complete the stop by double ejecting and stopping yourself by using your face on the handily placed hut.
I actually invented rocker skis back in 1986 using this stopping method as my 190cm SL skis were bent upwards about 30cm from the the tips....
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Oh oh….just remembered excellent tip
Always put your gloves conveniently on the roof of the car when you are loading up at the end of the day.
(I always smile ruefully when I see a lone glove in the middle of the road 100m from the car park and the next 100m further on…)
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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I can recommend joining an all day Class in Obertauern, where the Instructor doesn't speak a word of English, so a German speaking Italian has to translate. When he goes home in the afternoon, then it can turn into a game of Charades. Twice the fun.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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Never check the times of the last lift from Montchavin to La Plagne, nor from Meribel to Courchevel. You're on holiday for an adventure.
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Drinking the best part of a full bottle of Schnapps in the evening will improve your skiing the next day
Being drunk enough to happily accept a burger that has bounced on the floor of an outside burger bar at 2.00 in the morning demonstrates good adherence to holiday health and safety
Pamporovo is good for high mileage skiing
A beginner should always ski in waist deep powder at the side of the piste as it is easy to get up and find your skis after a fall
All tips experienced or witnessed, so I know they are true
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You know it makes sense.
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Make new friends by being the 5th on a 4 seater chair.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Do sufficient manspreading on a chair that you knock a ski off on the first pylon.
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Poster: A snowHead
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Oh and always be the one to own up to breaking wind in a full gondola. Your fellow passengers will appreciate your honesty
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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| jayjayjam wrote: |
| Never check the times of the last lift from Montchavin to La Plagne, nor from Meribel to Courchevel. You're on holiday for an adventure. |
I can thoroughly recommend a leisurely stroll up the side of the Black Piste that runs alongside the connecting lift out of Val Thorens to Mottaret, after missing the lift. The moonlit ski back behind a Pisteur is a most memorable experience.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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When your mate declares he has booked you a really nice hotel in St Anton and it was surprisingly reasonable abolutely trust him and in no way consider checking that he had put the am Arlberg bit in the search as well.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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| halfhand wrote: |
| When packing for a ski trip remember to save weight by not packing any undercrackers. The pair you will be wearing when you leave home are perfectly adequate for a 4 day ski trip. |
A friend always tells a story of a trip to Jackson Hole a good few years ago - one of the group ran out of underwear, so just decided to go commando under their snowboard pants. This became very apparent when on a toe side turn in a steep chute, they lost it, pitching over backwards. The impact popped the trouser buttons, and the resulting slide took said trousers to half mast - but on a positive note, this acted as a very effective arrest technique, as they quickly filled up with snow, so stopping the slide. The downside of this though was that on getting back on their feet, they couldn't physically get their trousers back up until they'd bailed out all the snow - to much cheering from the nearby lift passengers ....
Last edited by You need to Login to know who's really who. on Wed 19-01-22 19:08; edited 1 time in total
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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| afcbtim wrote: |
| Oh and always be the one to own up to breaking wind in a full gondola. Your fellow passengers will appreciate your honesty |
Gnar points!
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Ladies should avoid wearing very distinctive fluorescent salopettes if they are having a comfort break behind a rock beside a piste with their skis still on and facing downhill.
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Make new friends by being the 5th on a 4 seater chair.
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| zikomo wrote: |
| @Mollerski, Try the 2.3Km t-bar on the glacier in Sass Fee. When you have an uber-keen 7 year old who always wants to go with Daddy. 12 minutes feels like 30 with a t-bar at knee height. |
Oh god ... I remember that ... brings tears to my eyes even 15 years later
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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On a very foggy day with zero visibility tell your girlfriend that it is ok to do the business anywhere as no one is about and she is desperate to go
Then listen to the cheers and whistles from the above chairlift as the fog clears
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Eat "Catalan tomato and garlic bread" for breakfast, you can enjoy the strong taste of garlic all day in your buff or FFP mask 
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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When Snowboarding (if you must!), always ensure that when you pass a ski class of 7 yr olds, keep the instructor in your blind spot, that way you only hit him/her and minimise the chances of injuring a child.
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You know it makes sense.
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| RedandWhiteFlachau wrote: |
| When Snowboarding (if you must!), always ensure that when you pass a ski class of 7 yr olds, keep the instructor in your blind spot, that way you only hit him/her and minimise the chances of injuring a child. |
Too soon?
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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| halfhand wrote: |
| RedandWhiteFlachau wrote: |
| When Snowboarding (if you must!), always ensure that when you pass a ski class of 7 yr olds, keep the instructor in your blind spot, that way you only hit him/her and minimise the chances of injuring a child. |
Too soon? |
Not for the two who hit me in the last 48 hrs.
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Poster: A snowHead
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@RedandWhiteFlachau, Righto. Hope you're doing ok.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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| halfhand wrote: |
| @RedandWhiteFlachau, Righto. Hope you're doing ok. |
Fine thank you. One I can forgive but two was taking the wee wee. Exactly the same issue in both cases. Coming into a lift stop too fast and clipping from above and behind as I ushered my group towards the lift gates.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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If you are filming the days skiing on your go pro remember to turn it off when you go to the loo otherwise you may have more of yourself in the video than planned.
We have never let our mate forget his mistake!
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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| wam15 wrote: |
If you are filming the days skiing on your go pro remember to turn it off when you go to the loo otherwise you may have more of yourself in the video than planned.
We have never let our mate forget his mistake! |
Bet it would have been cold 8-
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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| ousekjarr wrote: |
| When asked where you’d like to go next, don’t be a picky, demanding person. Answer only with Down or Up as appropriate. |
omg! you've been talking to my other half! I get a similar answer when we are climbing too and I'm desperately clinging on 100ft up looking for the next hold and asking for 'beta' (info on the next hold)......all I get back is Go up! 
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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If lucky enough to land a job for the season treat it as a five month holiday - no one gets sacked from those jobs, do they?
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When wearing new white one piece go and introduce yourself to cute avalanche dog that happens to be sitting an a muddy patch at bottom of lift. Cute dog then stands on back legs to give the face a welcoming lick while very muddy front paws leave a selection of prints and smears all down your front. To finish it off try yelling at the dogs handler and demanding money for cleaning costs while fifty odd people waiting for the lift tell you what kind of tosser they think you are.
To clarify I was not the wearer of the white one piece  and the dog wasn't harmed during this incident.
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Skiing is good practice for a career as a politician. You might actually come to understand how they think and their distain for joe public. In particular, never answer a direct question with a direct answer or even a truthful one:
Question: Will I be able to ski it?
Answer: Don't worry, you'll get down.
Meaning: No. But I will.
Question: Will there be any moguls?
Answer: Not sure but there are always potentially moguls.
Meaning: Damn right there are.
Question: What colour run is this, you said it was a blue?
Answer: I think it is.
Meaning: The top bit is a blue, this is black.
Question: Will I need to pole?
Answer: No.
Meaning: Not provided you straight line the top section.
Question: We are stopping at a nice restaurant for lunch?
Answer: We sure are.
Meaning: We sure are, tomorrow.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Always ensure that everybody is suitable steeped in alcohol during apres and dinner, it will ease the muscles Darlings,
And then have a jolly giggle in the morning because they have all woken up in a
Misty mooring.........darling.
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@Sarge McSarge, But are you the dog? (No one knows your a dog on the internet.)
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FAQ
although your bottom does hurt quite a bit. Maybe leave the black run til tomorrow... 