Immense fear bordering with horror

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

1. keep going-better days ahead!
2. you had a horrible instructor and that is not rare, unfortunately. Here you can learn of the right person, depending on where you go next.
3. understand and accept that skiing can be not very fun early in the learning process, because you suck and are mostly unsuccessful-all of us were. But the day comes when the light clicks on and you are hooked.
4. keep in mind that skiing is like some other things in that speed is your friend, not your enemy as each beginner thinks. It is much harder to ride a bike at 2 kph than at 15, and skiing slow is difficult and energy-sapping. This is why I teach people to stop/slow/avoid very early in the process. It is easier to go if you know how to stop.
5. ideal way to improve is by skiing with a buddy who is better than you but also patient. For me, this was massive.
6. master a slope you are comfortable on. Ski it like you own it, be confident there. Get some wins, get your mojo. Then try steeper slopes. Build on success.
7. the learning phase goes fastest if you can get some concentrated reps in. A day here and there is better than nothing but prolongs the not so fun part.

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to early to take you off the nursery slopes. So that is down to the instructor.
You are probably better off having instructions separate from your partner where you can both go at your own pace

Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.

@niki250,

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Maybe an idea could be to look at joining a snowHeads bash for your next ski trip (assuming one coincides with your holiday plans).

Not only would you likely be surrounded by lots of supportive snowHeads, depending in which bash you elect to go on, there are opportunities to have lessons in a friendly and helpful environment.

Of course, much depends on how Covid affects next seasons plans, but it is just a thought….besides, the bashes are great fun and, possibly a great way to help overcome your first (bad) experience.

I recall and End of Season Bash (EoSB) many years ago where there were a group of beginners (first ski holiday) and they all progressed really well…and had loads of fun into the bargain.

Whatever you decide, good luck and stick with it snowHead

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http://youtube.com/v/kwWxu1pDiW4

I hope leaving links is allowed. This is the first slope I went to after the nursery slope. I thought it would maybe be interesting to you to see where our instructor took us.

I get really sweaty looking at this video.

After all it is free

If my wife gave up after the first bad “experience”, we wouldn’t have any kids today Cool

The right teacher is important, and you need to feel safe to be able to evolve as a skier - Do not hesistate to ask the ski-school for another teacher if you don’t feel confortable. Go out there and enjoy skiing!

Slopes are categorized as blue, red and black here. There are no greens. This one is supposed to be blue but is intersected with the red one as you can see on the sides.

The big downhill, with just lovely view of the entire mountain and heights, is where I started accelerating, trying to stop doing plough.

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Totally get this and have been there too (must say quite a lot of females also have this confidence issue; I don’t know why). My username conveys how I always feel when skiing. Like I’m out of control and a bit crap. My husband films me know to prove that it’s ridiculous as I’m quite capable. That said if I get to a ridge and stop and look down I’ll quickly convince myself I can’t do it. Answer is not to stop!!

It’s a fundamental connection to make that turning is effectively your brake. That should have been conveyed more clearly.

My advice would be if possible to head to your nearest indoor ski slope. I have a dry slope only a few miles away but it hurts so much when you fall that it makes me tense up. And fall. If you can get some private lessons on real snow I’d say do that. As regularly as you can and up to when you go. That way when you’re in resort the whole process of boots on, using a lift etc is very familiar.

Don’t be put off by a bad first experience. I still don’t like to go fast - and don’t think I ever will. I tootle along behind my family or even off on my own now and get down with plenty of turns. And that’s the key; nail your parallel turns, get a good balanced rhythm and you’re in as much control as you can be.

I’m also frightened of flying and it was getting far worse until my husband pointed out if I allowed it to develop further, we would be unable to travel the distances I like to see and that really snapped me out of it. Same conversation with skiing. If I allow my fear to control then i’ll have to stop ski holidays. And that’s not happening!

Good luck. Don’t give up. Practice and lots of it. Natural remedy drops under the tongue can help. Also download Fear of Skiing hypnotherapy if that’s your thing.

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We all have fear at some stage in learning, and beyond. You have two competing advisors in your brain, one is telling you this is dangerous and the other is logical and can advise you how to deal with the situation.

When you are learning the logical advisor has little advice, and the fear monger has control. This can paralyze you in some situations.

As you pick up technique and ability, your logical advisor is able to overcome the fear monger.

You always have the fear monger there, which is why your blood pressure goes up and adrenalin starts pumping.

If you find the pace of learning is too fast for you, you might want some extra practice on the beginner slopes. Just gaining the confidence on the basics can often be enough to help you progress.

In group learning the pace of the group is often led by the slowest in the group. Some people learn fastest by confronting fear, others learn in a more gradual process.

I would suggest in further group lessons, you go to the level in which you would be the best skier. Feel what it is like being the most confident skier in a group. Then when you get bored, ask to move up a level and change groups.

Learning how to fall is probably the best way to remove fear of falling. If you push yourself on the beginner slopes so you fall, you will get used to it and get better at falling. We all fall when learning, this is how you learn to fall.

The same can be said for life. If you never fall over in life, you will not advance to steeper slopes with knowledge on how to pick yourself up and carry on. Learning how to fall safely is critical!

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You know it makes sense.

Hi niki250, what a horrible experience you have had, all caused by a very bad instuctor. No matter what level you achieve, skiing is/should be fun, as any sport you do should be. If you roller blade well, you will have a base to learn to ski (with a good instrctor). You have balance, coordination and know what it feels like to "slide" (roll on blades). The big problem you have now is in the mind.

When you ski next, go to the ski school office (ideally the day before you want to ski) and explain the terrible time you have had. They should then be able to find some one to give you good instruction.
If you can (safely) look around the nursery/bunny slope and lifts. Imagine roller blading down it, make it your friend. Break it down in to small sections of 20/30 meters. Falling off a mountain is very difficult you will fall over first. Do you roller blade along a street and crash in to street lights etc, try it, I bet you cant Smile

I guess your rollerblade boots are a close fit, like a glove, so you can feel and transmit to and from your blades, through your feet. Ski boots are them same, spend as much time as you can trying them on in the hire shop. You are the customer.

You will fall over while learning, as you get better you still fall over, you will just be going faster when you do.

The snowplough is only to help you with balance, it is no good for stopping. Most instuctors try and have your skis in a "V" shape for a snowplough, not everyone can do this (it hurts sometimes), try your skis in a "\ /" so the tips are a bit wider, you will still have good balance as your feet are in the same position.
Turns keep your speed down, imagine drawing big S shapes in the snow, the further across you go the slower you get, you pick up speed as you start to go down the hill again, a little bit of speed is good. Smile

You can overcome your fear with a good instuctor.

Many years ago, I had a 50 year old lady who had, had a very bad experience with a poor instuctor while skiing in France. She came to the dry ski center I worked at and was shaking with fear. After an hour she was snowploughing 10 meters backwards down a very gentle slope, with some confidence in her ability.

Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:

@niki250, Having watched the Video you posted - my thoughts would be as follows:

1. That is a reasonable gradient to take someone on, in their first week of skiing - provided they have learned some basics on the beginner area. In Fact, in some French resorts, it would be labelled Green.

2. What can make it more difficult/scary, would be factors like:
- How crowded it is - especially with erratic Beginners, or Advanced skiers buzzing past unnervingly close
- Skis that are too advanced for your level, making turning difficult
- Poor visibility
- Icy or slushy conditions
- State of mind/lack of confidence - leading too tensing up, which causes you to do all the wrong things
- Unhelpful instruction

3. With a mixture of Traversing and Turning - it can be skied very slowly indeed.

4. The right Instructor would have you coming down there - where after a day or two, you'd be wondering what all the fuss was about.

A snowHead

Well on the bright side at least you had snow.

This was Kopaonik when I went there:-

A snowHead

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

Maybe it's worth noting that I was also afraid of the chairlift since I never was on one. I really panicked. I liked it so much at the end and I could probably only ride chairlifts all day, but I didn't know that before I tried it and it made me even more nervous.

I kinda hoped we would go to the nursery slope again but she just took us right to that scary (to me) one even though I'm aware that it's not that scary ...

Edit: It probably didn't help that it was labelled as red. I just saw red and thought I wasn't going to make out of it alive. All the drama in my head!!!

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@niki250, I think the slope in the video looks ideal for someone graduating from a beginner slope to be honest. In fact it quite reminds me of the first proper slope we took my son on when he was just shy of 4. I agree with a lot @Old Fartbag, says above though.

There are people for whom skiing is just not the right sport. Actually this applies to most/any sports. But reading your profile based on what you are posting I don't think that's the case with you. I think you just got a completely $h!t instructor. So I would seek out recommendations for a good instructor and then base a trip around being with them. Doesn't particular matter if it's private or group lessons.

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Sounds like your instructor/ski school

If you weren't learning as fast as your other half, that happens - sounds like he was very quick on the uptake, in which case they should have moved him to a different class as parallels on day 2 doesn't in general happen; first week is usually a week of thigh bursting snow ploughs for a few days, progressing to stem turns later (snow plough to start the turn, moving skis parallel through the turn)

If you have balance and co-ordination, which it sounds like you have (as you rollerblade), you'll crack it easily, no problem!

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You know it makes sense.

I just want to thank you all one more time. Before posting on this forum I honestly thought I'd never try again.

Your advice meant a lot since I didn't even know that my gear wasn't right, for example. It's just a stupid way not to learn skiing. I was blinded by the fear. I kept saying that my foot is sliding in the boot but the instructor just unpleasantly ignored me saying that it's my fault because I'm not getting the technique right (?!). Is that even possible?

I'm eager to try again, and I'll definitely closely watch the videos you guys linked!

Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:

A snowHead

A snowHead

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

@niki250, your experience sounds very similar to my first week of skiing. We were a group of 5 friends. As 3 of us had never skied before and the other 2 had done a week when at school (many years earlier), we were advised that getting a private instructor for the 5 of us for the week would be a good idea. What a mistake! It quickly came back to the 2 who had skied before, the 2 others did ok and I struggled.
We only spent an hour or so on a nursery slope before our instructor decided to take us up the mountain. I hadn't even mastered snow plough. He then brought us down a green run, that was actually a narrow mountain road. I was terrified and ended up just skiing holding on behind him. One of our group met some new people, as the only way he could stop was skiing into them (slowly). The week didn't get any better from there. (This was Borovets, Bulgaria).
Fast forward a year, we went to Passo Tonale and were all in ski school. For me ski school was a horrible experience. I was clearly bottom of my group, and the instructor definitely didn't teach to the slowest person. I was just made to feel bad by the instructor, who shrugged his shoulders and said things like "maybe next year." I wasn't in the bottom group, but at no stage was there any suggestion of moving groups (which is often stated on here as something that ski schools always do - I'd not assume that).
Anyhow, after a lesson in a snow dome with a more sympathetic instructor, I started to enjoy skiing, and was skiing reds the next year. (It could just have easily been a private lesson on a real mountain). I was still terrified of skiing mountain roads (usually marked green or blue) several years later, even when I was skiing most other slopes. The damage of that first day took a long time to subside, but now I can enjoy mountain roads, which are often very scenic.

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@niki250, This is the Skiing equivalent of an AA Meeting.....Where you think your problems are unique to you, insurmountable and that somehow it's all a personal failing....until you actually find out, that you are very much not alone in what you have experienced.

This Forum is predominantly populated by Skiing enthusiasts, who simply want to share what they know, so others can enjoy this wonderful sport as much as they do...and in return are able to access a deep well of information, that is useful to them.

Please use this as a resource - and feel free to ask any question, no matter how stupid you think it is. It will have been asked before.

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@niki250, 3 rather underrated moves / techniques I think are useful, although I’ve been skiing almost 40 years and rarely use them nowadays.
Hockey stop
Side slip
Controlled fall, as an emergency stop and evasive action, eg to try to avoid an imminent collision.

Worth checking them out IMO, eg on YouTube and incorporating them into your learning, next time you ski.

After all it is free

@niki250, it would be interesting to know if you were taught an hockey stop (emergency stop), how to side slip and how to arrest yourself in a fall?

These were all things I was taught very early on and are invaluable/essential tools to be used and help to build confidence and security on the slopes.

@niki250,

The fear you felt when using the chairlift for the first time, will have also impacted on you. This happened to my partner the first time they used a chairlift, it was caused as they are afraid of heights!

Again, the instructor is at fault - NOT YOU. She should have talked to you about how to get on/off the lift - instead she was probably having a ciggy with one of her mates. Sad

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I echo everything that has been said. I first skied at the age of 26 and was pretty scared for much of the time on the first, second, third and a few trips after that too! This wasn’t helped by poor quality instruction- if only someone had explained WHY you make certain movements and the mechanics of what I was trying to achieve, it would have been so much better.

Your instructor sounds like she was pretty dreadful and just couldn’t be bothered. Next time you go, try to do some research beforehand about the instructors with good reputations and who are good with beginners.I guess you were skiing in Serbia and I think it’s unlikely that any snowheads on the forum will be able to make recommendations as not many of us have skied there. If however you venture into a resort in France, Italy , Austria or Switzerland, then someone here may well be able help you out with some names of good instructors.

Skiing is never a cheap activity.Rent some beginner skis, have a few more lessons-private if you can afford it, but on your own, not with the bf. Alternatively take group beginner lessons. DO NOT let your bf try and offer you advice and DO NOT agree to any offer he makes to take you up the mountain to ski an easy blue run. It will end in tears at best, and murder at worst! There is nothing wrong with wanting to practise on slopes you have skied with your instructor.

You should probably use hire boots for a few more sessions if they are not too old, but the problem is that it is hard for you to know. After investing in lessons, your first big purchase should be getting boots professionally fitted. They really do make a huge difference.

And finally, stick with it. Was your experience just over one or two days? Like most Brits, after about 3 one hour lessons on a dry slope, I went for a week’s ski holiday (a total 24 friends and friends of friends-crazy!) to get to real snow for the first time. I was scared most of the time, ached all over but I LOVED the whole experience.
You sound really sporty and I bet you will be zooming about with far more confidence after a few days.

Help!!

Immense fear bordering with horror

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