Questions about skiing and becoming a parent!

A snowHead

I will observe from the general population of parents that sHs who got straight back skiing are probably a minority. Most people who ski seem to skip a few years while kids are little and maybe mum and dad sneak in a long weekend separately with friends or together if grandparent childcare is possible.

A snowHead

You won't avoid it getting more expensive! Starts with childcare and a travel-cot in parents' room, but soon escalates to include ski lessons, ski hire, lift pass, and then the killer: the restriction to half-term.

We skiied every year through the journey. We had already booked before wife found she was pregnant so there was one rather gentle but still enjoyable trip sticking to blue runs. Taking daughter at six months was a bit fraught, we were very aware of the thin chalet walls when she cried in the night (and the unfamiliar surroundings seemed to make her cry much more than usual). But childcare worked for us: it was more difficult for a friend whose daughter wasn't used to nursery.

Esprit was our rather expensive friend in the early days (and Ski Beat, I don't know whether they still exist). I can't remember now what age daughter grew out of them, their huge benefit is when the child needs to be in childcare when not in ski lessons. Once she could ski all day with us we saved a bit by self-catering and she got to enjoy our habit of making each day a "trip" somewhere though she was frustrated by her mother's frequent request for coffee stops.

Surprisingly we found Switzerland good for self-catering, they don't hike prices up at half term like resorts commonly used by UK Tour Operators, so we have explored some lovely skiing we might not otherwise have explored.

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When my wife went for her first pregnancy appointment with our eldest, we had already booked a skiing holiday.

She asked the doctor's advice about potentially skiing at 3 months gone. The doctor asked if she was going to race or do jumps. My wife confirmed that this was not in the plan. Doctor then replied "A week away from it all, with moderate exercise and fresh mountain air, can't think of anything better".... legend!

That was almost 18 years ago. Now we ski all day and then enjoy an après beer or two with our two sons. Wouldn't miss it for the world.

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@Specialman, the tendency is for older children/young adults to get fed up with the old crudders (nice terminology!) when it comes to general holidays but they are suddenly loyal family members if there is a prospect of a paid-for skiing trip.

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2 days away from heading on our second trip to morzine with our little one who turned 2 at the weekend. Took her almost exactly a year ago as well. The only year I had off was when she was dinky newborn (as she was only about 3 weeks old and the early days were brutal!)

We’ve gone self catering, taken the grandparents for babysitting support and lowered our expectations of mileage/time on skiis. But it’s been magical! Can’t wait to try the little munchkin on some toddler skiis for giggles this time

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Before taking grandparents do make sure your visions are aligned.... ours was that they were offfering to share childcare.... theirs was to ski with the parent not looking after our daughter that day. Hmmm. Following time we went skiing (by then had two children) we booked with Esprit so we actually got to ski together.

After all it is free

My thoughts are - try not to make too much noise while trying if staying in a chalet. They often have thin walls

Thanks everyone, you've been fab. Loads of insight.

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@johnE,

snowHeads are a friendly bunch.

Before the kids our annual mantra was 'just one more ski holiday' (we went about twice a year back then). But eventually you bite the bullet - if you really want to have a family. I didn't ski pregnant - but that's a personal choice. After the kids (and due to costs/no real family help) our ski holiday became a 'you ski 3 days I ski 3 days' 6 day event as we took turns babysitting. Skiing alone for the day is quite liberating, doing exactly what you want when you want where you want. Then we took a break for a couple of years until the kids were a bit older at which point they went to ski school. But unless they are in for the day, you get less than 3 hours to put the mileage in and rush back (a lot of rushes!). A few years of ski school later they are way faster than me and have no fear - out with us all day. But we have to bite the bullet of going at half term so I do tons of research and put the holiday together myself (we self drive/self cater and go to family orientated resorts).

My tips: if you have family willing to help why not rent an accommodation big enough for everyone - they get a relatively free holiday in exchange for babysitting. Don't forget that having kids won't make a ski trip worse, just different. Snow shoeing with a kid in a backpack in the sun is fab. Don't bother with a chalet/hotel or shared accommodation or else you will just worry about the noise through the walls. There are lots of kiddie-centric operators - if you have the cash - but not necessary if you do your resort research. Make the most of it before school starts!

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@bobcat, Never stopped with any of our 3. Lost 1 season with No. 1 born in January. Skied the following year with Mrs Red at 6 months. Esprit for 7 years on the bounce until youngest was old enough to ski all day with us. Then fortunate enough to live in the "Prealpi" for 3 years and the kids skied every weekend with school. Now have 3 offspring who are Ski Instructors but still insist on me paying when they are on Holiday!!

You know it makes sense.

Its just different. Biggest obstacle for me is that my 3 year old is very shy and just wont have lessons ski with other children/ adults that he doesn't know. Time is often spent just enjoying the snow instead of having any lessons.

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A snowHead

@bobcat,

Think the mum's here have given you good answers on the reality of skiing while pregnant / with babies.
No doubt having children will interfere with your skiing for a couple of years but skiing with my kids has been / is one of my favourite things. It's not cheap though so you need the budget available.

Our experience:

Our oldest was born in October. My wife skied during the season before he was born and missed the one after. I skied a long weekend Embarassed

Next season - we did a week at a Mark Warner place with child care. Took some time out to play with him in the snow etc
Daughter born in December. My wife missed the season and I skied a long weekend Embarassed

Next season - we both skied a long weekend. Left the kids with grandparents
Next season - oldest did jardin de neige, youngest in creche - play with us in afternoons
then ski school/jardin de neige - play with us in afternoons
then both in ski school - ski with us for a bit in afternoons for a few years
when kids ~10/8 went to a couple of hours of private lessons a day, ski with us the rest. We started to be able to afford more than one trip per year.
dropped the lessons at about 14/12 and they ski with us. Already better skiers than 90% of British holiday makers at that point.

I love the time I have skiing with them. It's a bit humbling how much they have worked on their skiing at least in part because they know I like it so much. The "side by side" time on the chair is a great way of chatting to teenagers. They are 17 and 15 now and can't quite outski me yet but I'm under no illusions! I didn't ski until my teens and I can detect the natural fluidity to the way that they ski that I will never quite have. They've using second hand and handmedown skis and boots but my daughters feet have stopped growing and I just bought her new, properly fitted boots for the first time. Because of her level they were quite expensive. She asked me "these are a lot of money, are you sure that's alright?" and I told her that they were the right boots for her and that she deserved them because she had worked so hard at her skiing. She looked so touched and proud! Ahhhh....

When I was about 15 I stopped wanting to go on holiday with my family. I wanted to go away hiking and climbing with friends. Didn't do many family holidays after that.
I am very confident that I'll keep getting my kids to come skiing with Mum and Dad into their 20s and that makes me really happy.

A snowHead

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@Riccardo, id say pursuing hobbies or not post kids is a perfectly legitimate consideration and she is quite wise to do so. Saves that whole midlife crisis resentment poo-poo some people do so well.

After all it is free

We board, apart from the break when my wife was pregnant we have been boarding all the time. For our week trips they have to change now as he is at school, so we are going to Sweden at xmas. Plus hopefully this year we will do a separate short trip leaving him at home for a few days with grandparents.
The cool thing I'd that he now wants to ski so we are using it for his reward chart to get him sessions at mk snozone.
Really looking forward to getting him skiing so we're can go with him, and yes I am learning to ski to be able to ski with him (skiing still isn't as fun as boarding though).

As stated above, becoming a parent changes your life and that includes your attitude to leisure activities.

But looking back, involving our daughter in skiing (and activity holidays generally) has worked out brilliantly. True, the very first trip when she was 6 months old was probably not worth it in retrospect - but without it we would have found it harder to book a ski holiday the next year. There were a few years where she was expensive to keep in childcare but it gave us the break we needed so much, but then she began to get the enjoyment and adrenaline rush of skiing and from there on being a family has been positive. Her enthusiasm pushed us, both in improving technique which we had got complacent about (because we needed to keep up with her!) and to explore more places (because she was a driver to see if we could book a cheap last minute extra trip at New Year or Easter if conditions looked good).

It was of course a drain on our finances, but we don't regret at all managing other costs to cope. As someone commented on another thread, when you are older it will be the memories not the unfulfilled dreams you remember as highlights.

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Ok, maybe I need your criticism explaining more then please?

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@bobcat, your research is highly valid, and hopefully now the context expanded respected. However ...

your OP might be (indeed possibly has been) interpreted as "If my skiing is going to be interrupted I don't think I will have kids", and the question / criticism is that there's so much else to take into account, if a few years off skiing is your deal-breaker, you may be focusing on the wrong things...

I didn't immediately think that's what you were saying, but I can see how people might have read that.

We missed one year (MiniRoll was a November birth - there was also a redundancy to take into account...) but was in creche for the following two, and then in ski-school age 3. She is now 18, skis the carp out of me and Mrs Roll, and, as above, I suspect will be coming on family holidays for as long as I pick up the tab.
And I wouldn't change a thing.

You know it makes sense.

People take lighthearted posts too seriously.

Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:

@ousekjarr, wink

just one way of sidestepping the nanny filter...

A snowHead

A snowHead

@bobcat, Having children need not stop you skiing, or doing pretty much anything really but you do need to be very organised. The degree to which children change your life in any respect probably depends on two main factors, your finances and your attitude.

Its not for everyone and I know that plenty of my mothers generation (the women) regretted having children though none of them ever said they would undo having a particular child. They regretted the lost career opportunity and the loss of personal freedom.

In my generation where there was far less social pressure to have children (and obviously effective contraception) most of my female friends chose not to have children and went on to have pretty awesome careers. Of those of us who did have children I can only think of one 'Mum' (had one child) who managed to combine career (as opposed to a job) with child raising. It was not easy for either her or her partner though, but she did work for a large organisation supportive and ahead of its times with its attitude to family.

But the world has changed and it seems amongst my children's friends its believed that both parents can have good careers and children. Some of them are currently proving that to be the case but I observe the degree of organisation it takes even with plenty of money to throw at the situation.

Skiing, like other leisure pursuits, can remain something you choose to do as grown ups leaving child care to others. Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles or paid carers. Or you can make it completely family oriented, or somewhere in between the two. If its a passion of yours you will find a way to make it happen.

For us, when the children were very small we managed a mix a of staying with family who then conveniently lived in the Alps, and self catering in apartments out of school holidays to keep down the costs. Once all 3 were at school we did not want to take them out too much so we got the caravan. Each holiday we`d look at snow conditions, and our finances, work out what work we could do remotely (not always so easy in the days before wi fi) and if all was well - hook up and go!

More latterly with teen/adult offspring we have done a mix of hired apartments and chalet hotels. It remains to be seen how our future skiing will work out. I have health issues, my husband is no longer quite so keen to do the long drive to the Alps, and my lot are now based all over the world, plus there is a whole new generation to consider.

I don`t regret having children, they were/are awesome and everything I have done in my life has been enhanced by having them. I loved watching them find their way in the world and in ski terms I loved watching my little ones find their way around on snow, I loved when they could out ski me, and I love it when they now help me across difficult terrain Very Happy

But I do sometimes wonder about the career I gave up, my choice and no real regrets, but the occasional 'empty nester' pang.

The decision to have children is a very personal one, I wish you well with yours.

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Thank you CaravanSkier, that was a really sensitive post.

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@bobcat, You`re welcome.

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After all it is free

I'm asking if/how skiing is continued as a hobby with children. I've also been thinking about how other things in life work with children. Seeing as i've not done it before, I have things to discover. Generally I prefer being prepared rather than finding out the hard way. If possible.

@bobcat, thinking things through and being prepared are generally good things, and certainly better than an unplanned pregnancy at any age.

However, beware of over-thinking it and over-planning, as you'll only end up stressed. 90% of all plans don't survive contact with the enemy, and in the case of planning how you will bring up children it is probably more like 95% as life has a habit of not doing what you hoped it would. Go with the flow, do what seems right to you, and prioritise. Everything else is subject to change.

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@bobcat, everything you do currently is possible with children, more planning required and generally more expense. I'm not entirely sure you can really prepare for parenthood as everyone's experiences are different.

As @ousekjarr, says go with the flow and do what feels right

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Questions about skiing and becoming a parent!

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