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Engagement on the slopes

 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
I absolutely love coming onto this forum and reading about people's holiday plans and taking wonderful advice - I thought I would share my plans for this year's (second) ski trip and hopefully take a little advice from anyone who could offer some.

We are returning to my favourite village in Austria, Alpbach, with two other couples and my brother who is a first-timer for a week at the end of the year. Yeah, I know its not the best ski area in the world, but as an overall setting and experience its perfect for my ultimate plan, which is to ask my wonderful o/h to marry me while out on the slopes.

Those around me who know (especially those already married) keep asking what's my "plan" and to be honest I don't have one - my only plan is that she will say yes! However, I've started getting little tips here and there, such as one of my very ski-experienced close friends who suggested tying a small piece of coloured string around the ring so that if it gets dropped on the snow, it should be easier to find. Best advice I think I've ever been given as that isn't something I'd ever thought about!

Another has told me not to get engaged on New Years eve in a ski resort - 1) Too cliché and 2) Too many p!ss heads that could ruin the celebration. - Not sure I agree with this one.

The only thing I'd like is a nice blue-sky day, other than that I'm not too fussed, not having proposed before I'm wondering if I'm terribly unprepared or right to just play it by ear!

Has anyone got any interesting anecdotes or first hand experience of getting engaged while on a ski holiday? Very Happy
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 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Go the whole hog and get married there (I did)!
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
I was cat skiing near Whistler. Bloke "fell over", his GF skied over to check he was ok, he produced the ring, and had pre-arranged with the photographer to be there to get the piccies as he proposed. Worked very well!
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NickYoung wrote:
Go the whole hog and get married there (I did)!


Now there's an idea! I mean it!
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 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Mine was a Saalbach wedding, a few days before Christmas - bloody amazing!
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If it's supposed to be a surprise then it might be best not to tell the whole world (wide web) wink
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adithorp wrote:
If it's supposed to be a surprise then it might be best not to tell the whole world (wide web) wink


Great point, however, she's never going to be on here

and you never know,

there might be a snowhead on here who will be there at the same time and will join in with the celebrations Laughing
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 After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
Most romantic thing that I have probably spoilt (A bit) was about 10am in Tignes one new years day. I was at the front of a group of 10 hiking to ski the south facing slope from the Eye of the Needle. We crested the ridge to the high side of the Eye. There was a young couple with a bottle of bubbles. I opened with "bit early for that". The lass burst into tears of joy and said "He's just proposed". There followed 10 guys tramping past like the 7 (+3!) Dwarves passing their congratulations. Have to say I felt a built guilty and massive respect to him for the surprise. Very Happy
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Ask Steve Angus...not only did it on snow he did it on telly!
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Go for it, she'll always love the snow.
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BRi87 wrote:
....
We are returning to my favourite village in Austria, Alpbach, with two other couples and my brother who is a first-timer for a week at the end of the year. Yeah, I know its not the best ski area in the world......


I rather like Alpbach. Charming place.

Good luck with your plans.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
@BRi87, Careful - she might want you to organise a wedding in Alpbach. My stepdaughter met her (Australian) future husband at the Goassstall apres-ski party in Hinterglemm, and they thought it only fitting to have a wedding in Saalbach church. It was very successful but took some organising.
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So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
Why produce a ring on the piste? She might either say no or prefer a different ring. Safer to take her ring shopping after she’s said yes!

Don’t worry about the p!ssheads, I proposed in the pub at New Year’s Eve & that went ok!
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 You know it makes sense.
You know it makes sense.
For the actual proposal just get a cheap-ass ring (or two) from Argos or something.

1. You can just shove it in your checked bag without worry, not be paranoid about ££££ being in there so keeping it in your hand luggage...and then being paranoid that you'll get stopped by airport security and asked "What's in this box, sir? Please open it." - with your o/h stood next to you (this is where a friend of mine who proposed overseas mind went - he didn't want to be forced to propose in the airport security queue Smile ).

2. Dropped it in the snow? Never mind.

3. You then get to go ring shopping to buy the ring you o/h wants to wear for the rest of their life.
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 Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Marriage proposals where one party gets down on one knee or whatever feel like a relic from a past time to me, but strangely, people still seem to go in for them Puzzled

Anyway, 1. be absolutely sure of the answer before you ask the question, otherwise she may either feel pressured into agreeing, or the rest of your week will be a bit awkward if she doesn't.
2. don't do it anywhere public unless she's someone who would enjoy that (most of us wouldn't). See 1.
3. I agree with @Mjit about the ring. She may not pick what you would pick, so get a plastic one for a temporary fix. Personally, I'm not much for rings, but then I'm a climber with big knuckles. YMMV.

Good luck.
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 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
Alpbach is a lovely place with great skiing!

I know nothing about proposals, but if you want proper photos (is that a thing?), you might want to speak to Cat (Brit based in Innsbruck) at https://www.wildconnectionsphotography.com/, who specialises in photos of this sort of stuff (and weddings) in the Alps.
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 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
By all means ask her while out on the slopes but I’d advise against making it some great performance or part of an elaborate practical joke (e.g. falling over). Make sure it’s easy to say no without embarrassment (do you really want to do this in the middle of a skiing holiday with others there).

Good luck with it and if I’m allowed one tiny piece of additional advice. Assuming all goes well on the slopes then remember that what follows should be about the marriage not just a wedding. You don’t need to have the glitziest most instagrammable wedding that will impoverish you both for years.
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Good luck!

If you do want to do the 'proper' ring thing then I will offer these minor pieces of advice.

- cold temperature, altitude and dehydration can have a major effect of the size of people's fingers, so a carefully sized ring may not fit.

- a ring dropped in snow will be basically become invisible, so take care or maybe present it to her on a chain she can wear till you get somewhere safer.
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Gordyjh wrote:
Why produce a ring on the piste? She might either say no or prefer a different ring. Safer to take her ring shopping after she’s said yes!


Cue the death of romance....
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 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
so heres my story and advice....from a bloke who got engaged up a ski hill and then ended up getting married on one aswell (top tip, sking in a suit may look cool but its blooming cold!!)

My (now wife and I) were on a week long trip in our favorite resort and i had planned to propose, being a proper gent i had brought a ring with me - TIP 1 - keep the ring on you at all times!, but not in your backpack!!, I stored the ring in the goggle pouch of the backpack and not thinking went to the bathroom after lunch and left the bag, she went into the goggle pouch to get a lens cloth!!...luckily she didnt see the ring and didnt let it fall out the bag.

I had booked us into a 1 night overnight stay at a mountain lodge, the kind of place which is a really nice mountain food stop during the day but has rooms and a spa. This meant that I didnt have to fumble around with the ring with gloves on or run the risk of public shame if she said no!!.......as the sun set over the mountains I proposed and lucklily she said yes...TIP 2 - book a night on the mountain and propose before dinner, this way its a bit more private for you both, no gauping tourists, no fiddling with gloves and as long as you propose before dinner you can enjoy your meal and some wine a bit more relaxed. depending on the time of year / weather, suggest stepping outside to see the stars....they are super bright in the mountains. The added bonus is no mobile phone signal so you dont need to feel pressured to tell people, you can just enjoy a few hours to yourselves.

TIP 3 - forget the ring sizing bit....buy one you like and you think she will like and any good shop will size once for free, so just buy a stock size and have it fitted when you get home .

if you are super lucky, like me...your soon to be wife will then immediatly suggest getting married back in the same location in two years time and you will then be able to plan a massive party with all your best friends and family in your favorite ski resort and race each other down the hill on skis on your wedding day!...and before you ask yes my wife skied in her wedding dress.
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@BRi87, Find a great location off the piste with a fab view, bury a bottle of fizz deep in the snow under a tree in the morning with some plastic glasses and head for it early afternoon - toast the rings on the slopes......great fun!
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I proposed in a ski resort. We happened to be there on Valentine's day and I asked her to marry me as we got to a particularly tricky bit going up a t-bar lift. I didn't need to get down on one knee and she couldn't really say no. This was over 20 years ago but there's not as many t-bars around. We were staying in a very nice hotel anyway.

I didnt have a ring but I'd suggest taking one (cheapo Argos job) and buying what she likes when you get back.
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 After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
I proposed to my wife on the slopes in Serre Chevalier. I was snowboarding at the time, so kind of had to get on 2 knees Laughing
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If you really want to get a right size ring - I can suggest measuring one of the rings she currently wears on her ring finger while she is occupied doing something else.

You can use this tool: https://www.amazon.co.uk/TrifyCore-Function-Aluminum-Mandrel-Measuring/dp/B07STBN529/ref=sr_1_10?dchild=1&keywords=finger+sizing+stick&psc=1&qid=1572443924&s=jewelry&sr=1-10&tag=amz07b-21

If it is slightly off, the shop should resize for free. That being said, her fingers might be smaller due to the cold so the ring might seem sized a bit bigger on the mountain.

Goodluck ! Smile
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Richard_Sideways wrote:
Good luck!

- cold temperature, altitude and dehydration can have a major effect of the size of people's ...
.


There must be some wedding first night innuendo in there Matron!
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@BRi87, congratulations. As the deliverer of the most unromantic proposal ever, I can't offer any advice on that front but hope it goes well for you.

One thing though (in case you haven't thought to do so) - do check somehow if it is important to your O/H if you ask her father for permission to marry her before you ask her (and if it is, do so before you depart!!).
As the father of two recently married daughters, I really wouldn't have cared either way, but apparently, the custom was important to my girls and one even said that they would have said "no" if I had not been asked first!
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
@Ray Zorro, Shocked Shocked I'd advise the OP to be very, very careful with that sort of thinking – it may get him unceremoniously dumped! That really is a relic of another time.
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 So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
@Scarlet, as it was only last year - not exactly a relic another time. Just a different attitude to you!
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 You know it makes sense.
You know it makes sense.
@Ray Zorro, Very much so, but I don't think my attitude is the unusual one.
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 Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Scarlet wrote:
@Ray Zorro, Very much so, but I don't think my attitude is the unusual one.


That may be true, (and I suspect it is) but the only attitude that matters in this instance is the future Mrs BRi87 - hence my advice for him to check somehow if it is important to her.
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 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
Scarlet wrote:
@Ray Zorro, Very much so, but I don't think my attitude is the unusual one.

If the tradition of the bride father footing the bill for the wedding, its only right to ask him first!
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Scarlet wrote:
...That really is a relic of another time.
Indeed - I'm truly shocked by that concept. Wow.
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Ray Zorro wrote:
Scarlet wrote:
@Ray Zorro, Very much so, but I don't think my attitude is the unusual one.


That may be true, (and I suspect it is) but the only attitude that matters in this instance is the future Mrs BRi87 - hence my advice for him to check somehow if it is important to her.

I suspect (hope?!) this discussion is moot, as the OP should already have a pretty good idea of her thoughts on this sort of topic, but I don't agree with you here, I think there are more ways that can go very badly wrong.

The question “why didn't you ask my father?” can be answered very reasonably with something along the lines of it being 2019 and not considering her the property of her father.

The question “why did you ask my father?” is less easily dodged and may make her question who exactly he thinks he's marrying and what sort of wife he expects her to be.

Unless he is already 100% sure that her thinking matches your daughters', I really wouldn't go there.
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Thanks for all the great tips - I'll try to address some of the points that were mentioned.

I am 99.99% sure she'll say yes, we've got a mortgage and a dog so it feels like we're in for the long run Laughing

I've already obtained permission from her father wink

With regards to buying a generic ring, as couples do, we have discussed marriage for a while so I know what she likes in terms of rings, this was confirmed to me by one of her girlfriends, so I've had a bespoke ring made. Better not drop it!

With regards to smuggling it to Alpbach - this is the big concern, as @Mjit said, being stopped going through security scares me and with my luck will probably happen. I could hide it in my boots in the suitcase? Or perhaps give it to my brother who is coming on a later flight? Or just put it in my carry-on making absolutely sure there are no liquids inside Laughing

@foxtrotzulu great advice and totally not us.

@Markymark29 I like that, I could easily have one of our friends bury some bubbles somewhere.

For me, I'd be really happy with something simple under Wiedersbergerhorn then out with our mates that night for a nice meal!
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 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
We got engaged while on a ski trip.

My husband took the ring folded in a bit of paper in the zip pocket of his wallet through security etc, he said he was still worried about losing it but it was a safer thing to do than put in his case and he wasn't carrying a box about in his hand luggage that I might see.

I genuinely had no idea he was going to propose, we had talked about getting married at some point and we were in the process of moving in together (all my things were boxed up and we were moving the week we got back).

He chose to ask after we had been out for dinner, in the village under the lights. It was really lovely and private too (as I've seen mentioned already, if public is her thing then fine but not for us!).

He did well, it was special, we do go back every year and sit in the same sleigh in the village centre.

We also got married in the snow, albeit unintentionally. We married in Canada in May (was supposed to be lovely wildflower meadows!) and they had a freak snowstorm, which luckily for us kept the ski area open and we skied the following day. It did mean the morning of the wedding he borrowed a snow shovel to dig a path down to the lake and I went to the supermarket to buy wellies instead of my shoes!

Good luck (let us know how it goes)!
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@Scarlet, you're possible over-thinking this a bit. Not all quaint traditions (like getting married at all!) have to be taken absolutely literally. wink
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Scarlet wrote:
@Ray Zorro, Very much so, but I don't think my attitude is the unusual one.


I don't know, the people I know who have got married recently have generally gone down that line. Isn't it a contradiction to be in favour of a tradition like marriage but not the (fairly numerous and strange) traditions which go with it?

Edit: And tbh I'd view it less of a 'asking permission' and more of a 'heads up' to her parents instead.
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 After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
I got engaged on a ski trip, Taos has a charming little semi private hangout with a great view just off piste known as Doobie Rock which worked great.
We used the real ring with no problem, well except we then headed to a mountain refuge for a glass of champagne and a Miss Texas type offered her congrats while rocking one huge piece of ice on her finger.
Also have a friend got married at Killington summit - as he now says "it was all downhill from there" - feel free to steal that line for the wedding speeches Very Happy
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I've always dreamed of proposing in the Alps, I was thinking of just taking the last lift up and waiting for everyone else to clear off whilst watching the sun set then asking. This is a really nice thread!

P.S. Anyone single? I need a missus who skis.
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@BRi87, I seem to remember something about airport security having a code word if you're carrying an engagement ring. They then discreetly separate you for the checks. Might be worth contacting them and asking.
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