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Pass on a skiing tip......

 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
Don't ski into your instructor under a chairlift next to the restaurant
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 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
don't let fenlandskier near the car keys Laughing
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Colin B wrote:
Don't let the ESF talk you into looking after 3 four year old french children on the chairlift. Inevitably at least one will be intent on going over the bar, another under and the last will refuse to move their skis to allow the bar to be raised.


you must have been on the chair behind me at Les Arcs this year.



when towing your snowboarding friend along a flat do check behind that they are not linking to other one plankers you have passed.
I have found out my limit is 4.
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 You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
...or one fat one Very Happy
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 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
If God has given us two legs but you ski with only one plank you better have a damn good excuse comes judgement day.
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 You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
Watch out for Child-Crusher (PSB'ers will know who I'm on about) if you have kids younger than 10!!!
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 Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Don't relax on the green "path" when reaching the bottom of the black run - invariably you will catch an edge at this point and make yourself look a fool! rolling eyes
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 After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
As the snow thaws on the lower slopes the brown patches are really last years cow pats.
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 You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
When taking off your skis on a slope, always take off the uphill ski first, when putting your skis back on, always put on the downhill ski first.
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 Ski the Net with snowHeads
Ski the Net with snowHeads
Never, ever, ever, try to "instruct" your partner/significant other. It'll only end in tears
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 snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
Never say "I'll get these" at a lunch stop in the Three Valleys.
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 And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
Try not to throw up in your ski boots... hasn't happened to me of course but did happen to a room mate once in Chamonix - had his boots toasting under the radiator by the bed, woke up suddenly and barfed directly into his prized Raichles. Made for a very amusing day.
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 So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
JohnHill, you surprised me with that one - I assumed that you were going to suggest making a list of things to pack Laughing
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 You know it makes sense.
You know it makes sense.
Ray Zorro, thanks for reminding me...

Never laminate your ski trip packing check list before double checking the Paul Mason-designed pre-listing relational database system.
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 Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Be aware that airport customs officials are completely devoid of a sense of humour.
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 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
Don't start a speed test run in a snowplough. D'oh! Shocked
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 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Don't accidently whack Michael Schumacher in the dangly bits with your ski's when turning round in gondola, he doesn't like it Toofy Grin
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
provenjohn, Oh do share Very Happy
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 You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
Frosty the Snowman, Whilst in Plattieres gondola, someone whispers "look that's Michael Schumacher", everyone within hearing turns to look, just in time to see one chap slap him in the whatsits with his snowblades as he turns round Very Happy It was indeed Michael Schumacher who had a somewhat pained expression !!
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 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Laughing Laughing A skiing incident.
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 You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
provenjohn wrote:
It was indeed Michael Schumacher who had a somewhat pained expression !!

Doesn't he always?
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 Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Find out how strong 'Red Eric' beer is before drinking 8 pints...not after......oh my head !
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 After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
Don't slag off specific kit until AFTER you have found out what your friends have bought each other as wedding presents.
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 You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
Not all snow balls are born equal. Some you can happily ski over, others might as well be made of concrete. These are also known as death cookies. They are called death cookies for a good reason.
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 Ski the Net with snowHeads
Ski the Net with snowHeads
Never wish your partner good luck followed by "you won't fall over" when they are heading off piste into powder...

when falling target soft fluffy powered not rocks ce Confused

and following on from that.
remember waterproof shells and jackets keep snow (rapidily melting snow) in as well as out. (melting snow down back.. shiver shiver ) snowHead

last one - when snowmobiling use the brakes to slow rather than the option of using trees. wink
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 snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
halfhand wrote:
Never, ever, ever, try to "instruct" your partner/significant other. It'll only end in tears


On another forum, this piece of advice was given...

notWTFH wrote:
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER get your boyfriend or girlfriend to teach you, it only leads to an argument.

I have learnt this the hard way, when my last GF berated me into trying to teach her, I only agreed that I would teach her until she said 'I know.' The lesson lasted less than 10 mins.

Follow Lovers advice and yourself a private lesson.

I remain,

notWTFH
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 And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
If youare wearing the old trousers with the straps that go over your shoulders use them. If you don't you are liable to get them caught on a chair lift resulting in you dangling amusingly from it when you try to dismount.
also
If you have hands so cold they are painful, run them under cold water not hot.
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 So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
Running around the mountain like an idiot in the middle of the night in the snow is a great way to clean shoes.
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 You know it makes sense.
You know it makes sense.
To impress people with your skills you first need to lower their expectations of how good you really are.


Last edited by You know it makes sense. on Wed 22-03-06 17:04; edited 1 time in total
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 Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
JohnHill, your throwing-up in ski boots reminds me of a school ski trip when 3 of us in a room awoke in the middle of the night (after an epic drinking session) to the sight of the 4th roommate weeing in one of his boots
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 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
switchskier wrote:
If you have hands so cold they are painful, run them under cold water not hot.


or at least put your gloves on.
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 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
marc gledhill wrote:
switchskier wrote:
If you have hands so cold they are painful, run them under cold water not hot.


or at least put your gloves on.


or a hat.
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
When you get on the easiest run of the day late in the afternoon with no-one around and a couple of inches of new snow blown in don't just open up - there may be a rut (or snowfox) below the surface (bitter experience)
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 You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
fatbob,

Kill the fox and wear its hat or go after the guy who wore the hat but left it behind.
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 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
fatbob, how can you not open up, resistance is futile Shock
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 You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
Don't wear white, surprise, surprise, it makes you invisible!
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 Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Skiing into people pi**es them off.
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 After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
Don't eat yellow snow!
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 You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
...or brown snow
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 Ski the Net with snowHeads
Ski the Net with snowHeads
New skis + fresh wax = fast skis
Fast SKis = fast movement
Fast movement + fast stop = Pain snowHead snowHead
(Fast movement + fast stop)+ fresh powder = less pain Cool

Maths care of Rob
(anyone good with formula can probably rewrite that one snowHead snowHead )
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