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Fear / phobia of skiing

 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
Quote:

One of the major sources of the fear is fear of loosing the control. I think, as soon we learn how to control the skis, how to stop at any time, how to control speed, that basically we are in the control of most of it, then fear is gone and we start to enjoy the freedom of skiing.

oh is that all? Silly me! Even if you can do all of these things fear can creep in and throw it all off. Some days I will fly down reds/blacks, dancing. Other days, I will be battling and cursing down a blue. The mind is a powerful thing and once it starts messing with you, it takes specific tactics and a lot of work to address it.
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 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Cheesie168 wrote:

oh is that all? Silly me! Even if you can do all of these things fear can creep in and throw it all off. Some days I will fly down reds/blacks, dancing. Other days, I will be battling and cursing down a blue. The mind is a powerful thing and once it starts messing with you, it takes specific tactics and a lot of work to address it.

This is exactly what happens with my better half....and it's quite hard for me to get my head around. She is a very capable, advanced skier, but there are days where she can't do, what came so easily the day before. The warning signs are usually there, from the minute she gets up...as she is like an unexploded bomb....and the wrong run, simply lights the fuse.
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
^ yep, I've been skiing for nearly 30 years and there are still occasions where I get "the fear". Most notably in March just gone when I got scared on Sache in Tignes which had far larger, icier moguls and was far steeper than I remembered and I had to be coaxed down the steep section by a friend!!! ("Think of it as being green!!"). My fault for attempting it on tired legs near the end of the day.

I still don't like long, straight steeps as my brain tells me I'm going to lose an edge and slide to the bottom. It's all relative.
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Old Fartbag wrote:

This is exactly what happens with my better half....and it's quite hard for me to get my head around. She is a very capable, advanced skier, but there are days where she can't do, what came so easily the day before. The warning signs are usually there, from the minute she gets up...as she is like an unexploded bomb....and the wrong run, simply lights the fuse.


Having once had to escort my brother's ex-GF , who was a very tidy skier on and off piste, all the way down Blackcomb Glacier and back to the lifts (even Ski patrol on their sweep were rolling their eyes and sympathising with us) I have to agree that some people are just UXBs. The reason seemed to be that she'd decided that he was taking her somewhere that was "too hard" and no amount of actual objective evidence re gentleness of slope angle, snow quality or indeed that the end of the "black run" was in fact a very green but very long cat track etc could trump that.
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 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Old Fartbag wrote:
Cheesie168 wrote:

oh is that all? Silly me! Even if you can do all of these things fear can creep in and throw it all off. Some days I will fly down reds/blacks, dancing. Other days, I will be battling and cursing down a blue. The mind is a powerful thing and once it starts messing with you, it takes specific tactics and a lot of work to address it.

This is exactly what happens with my better half....and it's quite hard for me to get my head around. She is a very capable, advanced skier, but there are days where she can't do, what came so easily the day before. The warning signs are usually there, from the minute she gets up...as she is like an unexploded bomb....and the wrong run, simply lights the fuse.


The unexploded bomb in the morning sounds like me on bad ski days - and then yup, a blue is a thing of nightmares. Sometimes it's to do with being mentally or physically tired for some reason - I'm not sure it's a coincidence that on our last trip I didn't drink very much in the evenings, and had far less of the fear (my OH, who sees it as his duty while on holiday to get plastered every night, struggled far more). So as others have suggested - plenty of time to relax, and not hugely long lessons, might help to make it a less tiring/scary/pressured experience?
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@altis, There's probably something in that but I wouldn't know, having started at 4.

So I have never "grown up used to direct, grippy contact with the ground."

Very anecdotal story but my first wife (a Dr) was most amused once when I stepped onto a patch of ice in Edinburgh and apparently my fall reactions were those of a toddler, not an adult.
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 Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
As someone who also suffers from nervous skiing. Find fun pistes! Going down the kiddies piste where you ski through a set of punch bags and then hi-five Mickey mouse and round some tight corners, over some bumps through an igloo etc... Easier boarder cross pistes are also good. The key thing is that it gives you other stuff to distract you from the fear. There are plenty of little challenges, you missed Mickey's hand last time, can you get it this time? And it's fun! They're often quieter than the main pistes with lessons on. Pistes with bumps can be useful for getting used to speed - in Finland there was a gentle green piste with 5m high bumps (manmade) across it, you had to get up some speed to get over them, got me used to going that little bit faster.
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 After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
@Rcav, I'm not sure 5m high can still be classified as a bump, that's twice the height of a normal ceiling! Shocked
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
SnoodlesMcFlude wrote:
@Rcav, I'm not sure 5m high can still be classified as a bump, that's twice the height of a normal ceiling! Shocked


Yes, that's why you needed a fair bit of speed to get up them and it got me used to going faster than a snail!

Actually, just chatted to my friend he reckons they were 2 or 3 metres high. I just remember them as being massive and a really big challenge!
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SnoodlesMcFlude wrote:
@Rcav, I'm not sure 5m high can still be classified as a bump, that's twice the height of a normal ceiling! Shocked


I suspect we are talking rollers not moguls here Smile
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Dmitri wrote:
SnoodlesMcFlude wrote:
@Rcav, I'm not sure 5m high can still be classified as a bump, that's twice the height of a normal ceiling! Shocked


I suspect we are talking rollers not moguls here Smile


5m high is not a roller, it's feckin' huge.
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 And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
Rcav wrote:
Actually, just chatted to my friend he reckons they were 2 or 3 metres high.


Ah, yeah a 2m roller sounds more realistic, I can't think of anything I've seen that's 5m other than the huge stuff in the park. You're right that it can be difficult judging speed to get up the other side though.

Edit: For a sense of scale, a London bus is under 5m high
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So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
I don't really have advice as such, fear's such a personal thing.
More some encouragement for you.
My partner has struggled with sometimes extremely high levels of anxiety where she just can't bring herself to make the next turn. She'd just be stuck on the side of a piste in tears utterly frustrated and furious with herself. It comes from having had a bad fall on three consecutive trips when we were first learning.
She's stuck it out over three or four more trips and I'm pleased to say she had a small epiphany on about the 4th day of last season's trip.
Most trips she'd get more and more nervous as the week went on but on the last one she finally started to improve and work on technique for herself. This was the first time she'd decided not to get some tuition and it paid off. It seems to me that the instructors come at it all wrong for her and somehow make her feel worse about herself. They've always been very nice people but they're coming at it as instructors of technique rather than psycologists. She can ski very well when she's not rigid with fear so technique really isn't the issue.
One of the earlier posts talk about distraction. Creating games and just mucking around and I think that was the key for us. The afternoons skiing with the kids is when she's most relaxed cos it's just unselfconscious fun. From there she's gone from strength to strength. Very Happy
I was starting to feel like I was just being selfish pushing her and really the key was to just stop fretting about "Bend ze knees" technique and once I just relaxed and let her ask questions when she was ready things really improved.... Thank God! Very Happy Toofy Grin snowHead
I've prattled on a bit. I hope things work out for you both!
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 You know it makes sense.
You know it makes sense.
As all who know me can testify I am a fairly gnarly skier and mountaineer who has had many occasions when my mind has just frozen my body. I've sked steep traverse lines, gone to make a turn and my legs have just gone straight on Laughing Laughing Laughing

I once stood on top of a 20 foot spike of rock mid climb for 15 minutes trying to build up enough courage to step onto the wall behind it. When I eventually did it was such an easy move I could have done it blindfolded.

My advice is (once lessons have been had and a degree of basic low level confidence has been built up) to just get on easy long slopes and learn the drills there. Then, and only then, find a really steep but very short descent with a long flat run out and build up confidence letting go for short periods of time knowing that the terrain will slow you down.

Of course, it all depends on what her preferred method of learning is.
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 Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
EMDR therapy may be a great option for your wife- would allow her to process the trauma of her fall and project to future skiing without any distress.

Info at: http://emdrassociation.org.uk

Usually works quicker than other therapies and less distressing than her just going and exposing herself to the frightening situation- although that should work eventually if all at her own pace.

I’m an EMDR therapist if you or your wife want to ask anything about it just pm me
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 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
I have been (and to a certain extent still am) in the position of your wife. I have found that lots of time in lessons on the local dry slope which is predictable and calm helps me. On the snow my last instructor said lots of practice of side slipping and hockey stops would help my confidence and therefore enjoyment. I'm sure he is right it's just unfortunate that these don't work well on dry slopes.
I wish you both a happy and calm weeks skiing.
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 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Thank you for all the advice and comments everyone. My wife has done pretty much none of the things suggested. However we are having a three hour private lesson everyday with an instructor from ESF called Alex. He’s started from scratch with both of us but after day two has split the lesson with two hours for Helen and an hour for me.

Helen is skiing brilliantly. She was skiing better at the end of the first lesson than she was at the end of the week last year. She’s also enjoying herself and when myself and Alex go off my my part of the lesson she is carrying on on her own.

Just goes to show being injury free and starting afresh can make a big difference. Also perhaps lots of snow followed by glorious sunshine.

The only issue now is getting out of bed with an aching body and mild hangover.
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
@IainMcT, glad to hear it is working well.

Book a sports massage for this afternoon?
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@IainMcT, that is fab to hear. I really hope that she has a fantastic week. Which resort are you in, so other can maybe look up Alex at ESF?
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 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
I echo what others have said. Group beginners lessons are great fun, there is no pressure. Your wife may never ski at the same level as you but there is no reason not to go to resorts where there are easy skiing opportunities as well as chances for you to ski with others of your standard and with lots of nice things for your wife to do if she doesnt feel like skiing. Few ladies can resist spas, warm pools, snowshoeing, sleigh ride, lovely long delicious lunches with some pleasant drinks, it goes on, while you may not think so skiing is not everything.
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Sorry I dposted before reading the post two above. So glad it is going well, sunshine is a great help! Enjoy yourselves.
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