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Funniest quotes overheard at a resort

 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
Wear The Fox Hat wrote:
Funniest quote from today:

"Watch this" by Lindsey Jacobellis... Laughing
14 hours and I got it Laughing Embarassed
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 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Frosty the Snowman, at last!
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Got a call from a buddy that went up to Champery today - "its cold" really
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 You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
"So how do they make moguls then?"
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 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
conor wrote:
"So how do they make moguls then?"
You know what moles do to lawns in the UK. In the alps I imagine that the moles are bigger and more numerous.
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 You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
" Ive got a musical beaver" - Vicky after receiving a yodelling marmotte for her secret santa

"I dont like Champagne, its too strong for me, can I have cider in it instead"- retard guest asking us for a cider based Kir Royale, brummie!
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 Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
conor, A client once told me there was a type of piste basher that made moguls. Kind of a piste machine crossed with a spider. On the end of the spiders legs were huge upturned cups that spin around to make the bumps. Guess where he came from? Little Angel
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 After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
I have actually been asked that mogul question. Having said that, I might ask my own silly question now: do they make competion moguls, if so how and is there a standard size for competition moguls?
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 You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
conor, this actually came up at coffee this morning. Our coach, when working a season in New Hampshire, joined in the work party making a mogul run one say. The piste basher piled up the snow, then the pisties rounded the piles over. Competition mogul runs are definitely artificial. No ideas whether there's any standardisation or not.
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 Ski the Net with snowHeads
Ski the Net with snowHeads
Have just been Googling for how to make moguls. No real results, but Pistenbull has SNOWtronic that seem to allow mogul making, plus other snow shapes. Searching their website for "snowtronic" gives more description but I found no real details. Google images shows a few pictures but, again, I found no real details.
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 snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
"It's going to be a great day off piste today - it's level 5" Shocked Shocked Shocked

Um - not funny that one - had to explain what level 5 meant.

"Where's the lift?" from someone who'd followed me and my mate on our route home below the resort.

"This is a strange run - you don't normally have to cross a road" - once again, someone following us off piste.

"Catch that child for me please" from a distressed mother whos kid was following someone else dressed in the same gear and the kid was much quicker than the mother.

"I wish my skis didn't keep coming off when I fall over" rolling eyes - what? they'd like them to stay on!!!
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 And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
2 Friends conversation when in Passo Tonale a few weeks ago, talking about their wedding lst

Shopkeeper "Have you considered Denby?"

Girl "No, I've got a Denby Set"

Shopkeeper "Ah, but this is Denby China...."

Girl "That looks like something you get at a Church Tea"

Boy "Naw, that looks like something you get at a fillin station Shocked "

Shopkeeper SPEECHLESS
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 So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
conor wrote:
I have actually been asked that mogul question. Having said that, I might ask my own silly question now: do they make competion moguls, if so how and is there a standard size for competition moguls?


Lots of hard manual work. They mark out each line with stubbies then lots of volunteers slowly turn round them. Takes about a week to build up a world cup mogul course.
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 You know it makes sense.
You know it makes sense.
"How do Haggis balance and how do you trap them? Is it humane?

Anyone want to guess the nationality?
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 Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
How to make moguls.

FIS specifies the layout of mogul slopes in these PDF files. But these diagrams do not specify an individual mogul. The Freestyle general rules and regulations document (PDF from elsewehere on the FIS site) refers to a "FIS Freestyle Course Standards Manual" in the quote below, but I have not found that document

Quote:
4202 The Mogul Course
4202.1.2 General Characteristics of the Mogul Site
The Mogul site must be uniformly covered in moguls, with a reasonably constant pitch and fall-line, free of obstacles, with satisfactory snow cover. The site must also conform to specifications contained in the FIS Freestyle Course Standards Manual.
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 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
A pal and I were staying in a chalet in Arabba, there were about a dozen guests and we were all two's or three's, no kids etc. There was a young couple who were very quiet, skied by themselves, went to bed early etc etc. The rest of us were quite lively and meal time was quite a laugh. Young couple drank water I might add and were very very sensible.

You may have had to be there to get this fully but here goes:

One evening after we had all finished our main meal we were passing the empties back round the table to the chalet host who asked the female of the young couple if she had finished?

Reply was a loud 'no not yet - pause - Nigel ( name changed to protect the innocent ) is still licking my plate.

All of us just erupted, there was wine and tears all over the place. I had to go outside with my mate as we could not control ourselves.
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 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
CP, Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
On a cold morning last year in a gondala in schladming acouple were struggling to generate any enthusiasm from their 4 year old son. Father turns to wife says '
This is the last year I go skiing with a 4 year old'. smart guy...
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 You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
I forgot about a converation I had with someone in Whistler a few years ago.

"The road to the resort needs upgraded for the Olympics"

You need to have been there to understand this one, a very wide highway runs right to the resort which compared to the goat tracks up to your average french resort is something of a luxury.
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 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
proog99, not that wide, and often single carriageway, I think having seen a fatal crash on it, I'd agree with that one. The roads to Albertville and Turin for example, are autoroute.
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 You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
The Sea to sky Whistler road gets multiple fatalities on it every winter - city drivers, kids, everyone lulled into a false sense of security just because it doesn't switchback 50 times. They may be able to drive Stretch limos up there but its far froma safe road.
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 Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Having showed an elderly relation of mine the photos of my recent trip to Morzine, she commented, 'There are a lot of mountains aren't there.' rolling eyes
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 After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
people at school make double pole pushing motions - errrr what do you think all the LIFTS are for, and why am I a DOWNHILL skier?!?!?! And the slight presence of MOUNTAINS!!!???
Retards. rolling eyes
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