 Poster: A snowHead
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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@Old Fartbag, 
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Since living for so long in Austria I am now known by the term Faffmeister. This 'master' status takes many years of vocational advanced training to achieve as well as being able to provide demonstrative evidence at the drop of a hat (this also provides endless opportunities for hat Faffing).
Alternatively, the federal qualification initiative provides support by way of the Advanced Faffing Training Assistance Act (Aufstiegsfaffbildungsförderungsgesetz) for which you may be selected depending on innate Faffing capability.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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I suspect it is a teenager thing?!
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For more years than I care to mention, the annual 'lads' trip (no-longer lads, more mid-life crisis ) my various acquaintances have subjected me to their faffing... so this is not a teenage thing.
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Ahh the boots. Every bloody stop he has to fiddle, but this involves taking off goggles, gloves, unvelcroing sleeves, etc, the micro adjusting of clips and the reversing the process.
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Someone mentioned a snowboard? This would just amplify the above issue, as bindings you can adjust yourself come into play...
My rather tiresome friends seem to have a habit of sequentially deciding to adjust their bindings one after the other at the end of consecutive chair lift rides (when you're cold from the lift and want to get moving)
I now 'insist' that when one stops to do this, they all decide to do it or forever hold their piece til lunchtime. At which point, I insist they do all the adjusting whilst everyone is relaxing at lunch NOT WHEN EVERYONE HAS FINISHED AND IS READY TO GO....
Not that i get annoyed about it, or anything.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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(nor am i a control freak...)
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I can micro adjust my buckles while slowly skiing. Even standing it takes seconds rather than minutes.
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@Scarpa, You will be losing your Faffmeister title if you are reducing faffing time 
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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| Scarpa wrote: |
| I can micro adjust my buckles while slowly skiing. |
Is that the Faffer's equivalent of the Eurotest, with only the very best passing and being awarded Master Faffer status?
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I'm a snowboarder, so I am allowed a mandatory faff.
I have another problem. My Missus is so important at work, that she has to do her emails on the uplift. Every f*cking uplift. We all jump off at the top, we go left, she goes right. Everytime.
Apparently its my fault.
Any suggestions?
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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| Scarpa wrote: |
Since living for so long in Austria I am now known by the term Faffmeister. This 'master' status takes many years of vocational advanced training to achieve as well as being able to provide demonstrative evidence at the drop of a hat (this also provides endless opportunities for hat Faffing).
Alternatively, the federal qualification initiative provides support by way of the Advanced Faffing Training Assistance Act (Aufstiegsfaffbildungsförderungsgesetz) for which you may be selected depending on innate Faffing capability. |
The question is will the effing qualification be recognised post Brexit?
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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I've a confession, my wife is a faffer. In my defense though, we didn't go on a skiing holiday together until after we were married so I didn't know before the wedding.
She faffs in the apartment/hotel getting ready. Inevitably she faffs for so long getting the salopettes etc on that she decides she needs to go to the toilet again. Cue more faffing. Then on the slopes she stops to faff with the bindings on her boots, especially for the first few runs. By then of course she needs to go to the toilet again, necessitating loosening the boots, salopettes etc. Cue more faffing.
I did have a breakthrough of sorts this year though. After many years of pouring scorn on me 'hopping around like an excited child', I've finally got her to understand the joys of "first lift". It's a start, but inevitably once off of "first lift" the faffing with bindings kicks in. 
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| knackered knees wrote: |
| @Scarpa, You will be losing your Faffmeister title if you are reducing faffing time |
...but that's the genius of it. It shows that you have skills, above and beyond those that are actually required....much like the Eurotest. At this most elitist of levels, it's all about getting your Faffs/Min up.
BTW. You seem to have hit on a rich vein of Closet Faffers.
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You know it makes sense.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Poster: A snowHead
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| Strax wrote: |
I'm a snowboarder, so I am allowed a mandatory faff.
I have another problem. My Missus is so important at work, that she has to do her emails on the uplift. Every f*cking uplift. We all jump off at the top, we go left, she goes right. Everytime.
Apparently its my fault.
Any suggestions? |
Send her an email saying which direction to get off.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Used to ski with a faffer.
After any break would let him go out and then I would wait a couple of minutes. Quite often he would still be faffing when I got out.
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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By reducing Faffing time on one thing you therefore increase Faffing potential on other items / activities. A small carabiner on your ruckstrap chest strap allows gloves to be hung securely by the forefinger loops (thus avoiding them being filled with snow in blizzards) and this procedure can become an integral part of taking photos or sending texts. Combine putting the glove back on with a cuff velcro Faff and by the time you have achieved this the light may have changed and you will need to change goggle lenses.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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@Scarpa, I regrettably am FTF - Forced to Faff. I need to wear a rucksack (ortovox free rider 1 to contain 1 all the things i would usually have in my jacket but can't because I am wearing a rucksack; 2 all the things my family asks/needs me to carry (water, spare gloves, spare goggles, 'good skiing chocolates', spare buffs, first aid kit, kitchen bloody sink). Because I have seen instructor-liftie wars over rucksacks - culminating in a near fist fight at Toula between an ESS Redcoat and a frankly scary pisteur who I thought was going to kill the instructor with one blow - I obey The Rules and remove my rucksack on every uplift. Apart from the embarrassment of having Velcro-d myself to one lift with the now-loose massive velcro waistband of the Ortovox, getting together after a dismount inevitably takes far longer for me. Getting all the straps sorted, the snow off the velcro which has dragged along the ground, and then adjusting jacket to be comfy, there's always a lot of stern looks and tutting from friends and family. I hate faffing. And here I am, Forced to Faff.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Oh thank god, I thought OP was about to say his son was a boarder. That's way worse than faffing
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| snowheads68 wrote: |
| Strax wrote: |
I'm a snowboarder, so I am allowed a mandatory faff.
I have another problem. My Missus is so important at work, that she has to do her emails on the uplift. Every f*cking uplift. We all jump off at the top, we go left, she goes right. Everytime.
Apparently its my fault.
Any suggestions? |
Send her an email saying which direction to get off. |
Or just grab the phone and throw it off the lift. She should deal with it at the end of the day!
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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| Bennisboy wrote: |
| snowheads68 wrote: |
| Strax wrote: |
I'm a snowboarder, so I am allowed a mandatory faff.
I have another problem. My Missus is so important at work, that she has to do her emails on the uplift. Every f*cking uplift. We all jump off at the top, we go left, she goes right. Everytime.
Apparently its my fault.
Any suggestions? |
Send her an email saying which direction to get off. |
Or just grab the phone and throw it off the lift. |
Brave move. 
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@snowheads68, did that, but found I needed to answer some others while I had the app open..
@Old Fartbag, indeed
@SnoodlesMcFlude, got one similar attached to the underside of my dining room table 
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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| Strax wrote: |
@Old Fartbag, indeed
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Faffettes are often volatile, with a hair-trigger. It's very easy to become an ex-faffee. 
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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| Bennisboy wrote: |
| Oh thank god, I thought OP was about to say his son was a boarder. That's way worse than faffing |
There is no way I would post on a public, or indeed private, forum that my genes had created a boarder
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FAQ
