Really nervous beginner

A snowHead

I don't know what it is, probably because I never got the opportunity to ski when I was young but I am living in the French Alps now and most of my friends ski. I don't. I have had 2 ski lessons in the UK years back and absoutely hated it. I really really want to learn but know that when I get on the slopes with the crowds immense fear will set in and I will panic and not carry on. Why is this? I have now set myself a goal and WANT to learn so I am not sat at home my husband goes off skiing with our friends. I am mid 40s so not a spring chicken any more. Any advice please? I do not have much in the way of patience which is not good and I am so scared. Such a vicious circle really. To help my fear do you think I should ask to maybe start on slightly shorter skis? Not blades, just some a little smaller. Also, what else can I do to make my life easier? Thanks in advance.

A snowHead

If you live in the French alps then find a quiet time when there are no great crowds, pick a sunny day so it is a pleasure to be outside. When the day is right contact a local ski school and arrange a couple of hours of private tuition. Tell the instructor what you want and take your time, once you can move around by yourself enjoy what you can do and do not be pressured into tackling things you cannot handle by friends / family. The feelings you describe are what most beginners feel but few admit to.
Above all listen to your instructor and do as they say wink

. If you get on well with your first instructor use them again, if not ask for someone else.
Don't worry too much about equipment, tell the shop you are a beginner and they will give you suitable equipment.
Enjoy and welcome to snowheads.

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

Please please get some private lessons with a really good instructor. It's the only way and they have helped hundreds in the same shoes, you are not alone!
You need to build some confidence on the easiest slopes, take it slowly and it will come.

You need to Login to know who's really who.

Many thanks for your replies. I was actually getting on fine with the 2 lessons I had, just had utter fear and dislike for skiing. That is the problem, finding a quiet time as schools here tend to do lessons during the weeks too, even on school days. We tend to go to local ski resorts which are only popular with the french to avoid this but the days we think will be quiet are actually manic.

Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.

Get a grip. I know it's easier said than done and I really don't want to be mean but once you get over this you're going kick yourself for not doing it earlier.

Confidence is key, somehow you're going to have to force yourself to be positive and with that the real confidence will grow.

That and find a good instructor. Also once you start to progress don't ever let your friends or husband push you (too far) out of your comfort zone. Good luck!

You'll need to Register first of course.

My OH is in her 50's, very apprehensive and just learning to ski here as well! As Chris said, we're choosing quiet sunny days and going on the bunny runs for an hour or so once or twice a week so there's no pressure or fatigue and I'm sure by the end of the season she'll be joining me on the blue runs!

Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...

Snowhound. Comments like "getagrip" is not constructive to a nervous skiier and if anything will put me off even more. Thanks all for the constructive comments. I know these points are the key and under the right supervision will do my best. It is comforting to know there are older starters out there too so thanks.

After all it is free

Why do you have "utter fear and dislike" for skiing? Where does that come from?

I'd echo the suggestion of some private lessons. It's amazing how much difference it can make to confidence. If you tell us roughly where in the alps you are, someone might be able to recommend a suitable instructor. Some specialise in nervous skiers. For example, if you're anywhere near Alpe d'Huez I'd recommend Stuart from Masterclass.

*Ski* the Net with snowHeads

Not sure. Maybe a late starter. Never had the opportunity to ski when I was little. Fear grows as you get older. Even now my friends who are amateurs say they often get scared when they get on a run a little beyond their limits, one even got stuck on a difficult run. Injuries etc. wWe all have different fears in life. I can fly a plane but have a fear of skiing!

snowHeads are a friendly bunch.

Sugarmoma666- I know Alp d'Huez but Sept Laux is perfect for me. I have tried Megeve but Tip Top is so busy it was too busy for me.

snow reports

So partly you're scared as you've been told to be scared. Doesn't help.

My fear comes from seeing "it's a long way down". So when I started trying to teach my daughters (a highly questionable move) I started them at the bottom of the slope, so they only had about 10m to slide anyway. When they could stop before the end of the slope I increased it to 15m. Based on my own fear, stopping was more important than turning. Once they felt a bit in control, we could then move on to the details.

Good luck, hope you crack it.

@emmaski, why do you want to learn? If it's simply peer pressure what will you gain? I can understand you might want to try again to reinforce whether you just hate it or whether it's something you think you might enjoy one day. But I can't see any reason to persevere with something you don't enjoy simply to please others.

P.S. I'm learning to fly and loving it. No more or less scary than skiing.

You know it makes sense.

@emmaski, skiing isn't for everyone. And you should never force yourself to do something you don't like. There is lots of sensible advice here, but you may just have to accept skiing is not for you. Nothing wrong with that. I know you would like to ski with your husband and friends, but sometimes life is a bummer. Stick to hangliding or freerunning Toofy Grin

Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:

Maybe it is a challenge and I am hoping that after a few lessons I will begin to enjoy it. We all want to face challenges in life, this is mine.

A snowHead

@emmaski, I know exactly how you feel. I skied twice in my late twenties/early thirties and hated it both times as I was perpetually scared and when the slightest thing went wrong it turned to panic, then meltdowns worthy of a two year old. I swore that I would never ski again.

For reasons too long to explain here, I found myself at age 54 very reluctantly going skiing again. I was terrified, couldn't sleep properly for weeks beforehand, and by the time I got to the slopes in a state of total panic again. This time I had private lessons, which was better than group, but again the overwhelming emotion was fear the moment anything went wrong (and my definition of going wrong would be so minor as not to notice by anyone else's standards!). I skied with a couple of very good instructors, who were supportive, but it was all about 'getting going and keeping going'. What I needed was someone to give me confidence that I could stop under any conditions, and they didn't seem to understand why I was so focused on that.

I persevered, and loved spending time in the mountains, but was still very nervous all the time and would regularly (a couple of times a day, on average) get to the point of not wanting to ski again. The big turning point was getting the right instructor for me just over two years ago. 'Right for me' doesn't mean right for everyone and you need to work out who/what works for you and persevere until you find the right one. For me, it's Lynne Stainbrook in Flaine. He's American (no language issues), a psychologist (understands the fear stuff) and is all about putting you in control of what's going on (one of his favourite expressions is 'we like brakes'). He's also quite technical in his explanations, so you then understand WHY things happen in particular ways.

Meeting Lynne was one of the most expensive meetings of my life. Toofy Grin

Once I started lessons with him, everything clicked......and within a year we had bought a ski apartment, and now spend as much time as we can skiing.

I still get the occasional panicy session, but much rarer now, and I understand both the cause and how to overcome it. And, yes, I still have lessons with Lynne at the start of the season, or if I start struggling with anything.

Good luck with however you decide to proceed, and come back and let us know what worked for you.

A snowHead

There's a Canadian chap in Flaine (John?) who specialises in 1:1 cases like yourself. There's bound to be others if you explain your case to any of the ski schools where you are. I've seen the guy in Flaine on a beginners green with a blindfolded lady in her 50s being eased down the slope at < 1mph to give her confidence in her stance and ability to stop and control her skies.

My cousin's boyfriend took up skiing at the age of 58 or so and was very nervous to begin with. He's confident enough now at 62 to tell us lot to leave him to it for a bit and we meet up with him later, but he has come along leaps and bounds. There's hope for you too!

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

Good luck Emma. I am a nervous driver. (not the same I know, but the analogy is there I think!). I just had to make myself do it. I did the same route many times so I could get more familiar. Perhaps that would help you, alongside private lessons (which helped me MASSIVELY with skiing too). But choose a pleasant slope, wide and quiet, and just keep doing it.

Are you worried about hurting yourself maybe? Just thinking there might be a further reason, not actually skiing that you're scared of, but perhaps nervous of getting hurt? Maybe scared that you might hurt somebody else by accident?

You need to Login to know who's really who.

@wadgebeast, I think that you're talking about the same person as I am. As far as I know there are no Canadian instructors in Flaine, and Lynne does most of his teaching on the one green slope, on the basis that it's all about technique and once you have that you can translate it to the rest of the mountain. But I've never gone blindfolded!

Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.

JanieS. Well not really hurting myself no. Bruises last for a few days and plenty of padding with ski wear helps. I think it is trying to learn in crowded resorts and my lack of patience. 40 is a lot older to start lessons I think. Most people manage to crack this at an early age. I never had that benefit.

You'll need to Register first of course.

I'm wondering why you're learning in "crowded conditions". Especially why there were "manic" crowds on a day you though would be quiet. I've been skiing for the last couple of weeks in the Espace Diamant with no lift queues and often entire slopes to ourselves. Where are you based? Slopes will get steadily busier now till French school holidays start on 6 February when for four weeks they WILL be busy, especially on village/nursery slopes.

Plenty of good advice above especially the point that skiing isn't for everyone. Maybe you'd prefer snowshoeing, away from the crowds altogether? Most resorts have range of prepared tracks. To go away from prepared tracks you need to be avalanche aware, of course.

You are not an old learner, by the way.

Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...

@emmaski, You did read the rest of my post? I was 30 when I first went to the mountains and it was such a painful and traumatic experience that I vowed never to do it again. 12 years later and I've helped many a nervous skier and snowboarder (everyone older than 25 is nervous at first) by urging them to do exactly that. Get a grip - maybe not those exact words but it's the same principle whether on one or two planks. Weight further forward with confident and positive movements.

As said skiing may not be for you but you owe it to yourself to give it a decent shot.

After all it is free

@emmaski, 40 is a bit older than most people start but not an insurmountable handicap.
I've just been away with someone who started age 70 and is now a decent red run skier.
Gooduck with your quest and I hope it goes well with a sympathetic instructor.

@pam w, I know from experience that when you're in that frame of mind any slope with more than about 2 people on it seems crowded. Fear always seemed to grow the moment I could hear anyone above me. And 'waiting for a gap' became an art form in delaying the inevitable start of skiing as long as possible.....

*Ski* the Net with snowHeads

snowHeads are a friendly bunch.

@emmaski, are you sure you are not my wife pretending to be someone else? Toofy Grin

She is the same age as you and has had the same previous experiences as you. Like you it is becoming more and more of a problem for her as my son and I are skiing more. Her first problem is she doesn't like the cold and her idea of a winter holiday is lying on a beach somewhere. Cold can be overcome with warm clothing but in her mind it isn't the same. What I think really put her off was being with a group in Canada about 20 years ago and walking along icy roads in ski boots carrying skis. I think she fell a few times and that was the final straw for her. Even now she hates even carrying my sons skis. The final issue is she had both hips repalced about 5 years ago due to hip displasia not being picked up when she was a child. Although her surgeon has told her she is at no more risk of a dislocation than someone who hasn't had their hips done it still plays on her mind.

To be honest, I've given up trying to encourage her to take lessons. It is clear she doesn't want to do it and there is no point in forcing her. It would probably do more harm than good.

While some can say "get a grip.....you'll be glad you did", I don't agree. If you really don't like doing something then there is little point in forcing yourself to do it. By all means give it "one last try" but if you still feel the same then move on to something else. Doing something you really want to do just to please others is a receipt for disaster.

snow reports

I agree. Careful, competent skiers can still sustain injuries, sometimes serious ones. If you are injured doing something you enjoy, bad luck. But if you are injured doing something which you were reluctant to do in the first place.....you are likely to be more resented.

Skiing and sailing have a lot in common. Often scary. Sometimes very uncomfortable, occasionally dangerous, high ratio of faffing to actually doing it. Expensive.

And not all spouses share the enthusiasm!

You know it makes sense.

@Gaza, have you tried an Easter holiday? More chance of a warm sun that your wife may enjoy and a chance to finish early and recline on a sunny terrace enjoying a cold beverage or two!

Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:

A snowHead

A snowHead

Skip skiing and learn to snowboard.

By the sounds of it you'll probably never catch up to your husband and friends ability on skis, so if your goal is to ski with them, it may not be realistic. You'll have to put a LOT of time in.

Snowboarding is harder for the first week or so, but after that it's much easier to learn more advanced skills.

I'd also disagree the get a grip isn't constructive.

When you're scared of something, but you know it's (at least partly) irrational and the consequences of making a mistake aren't huge (as you acknowledge above), being able to mentally shake yourself, get over the fear and just do it is a very useful skill to have. When I first started kayaking a lot of harder rivers, I had the same problem with waterfalls (even easy, just fall into the pool below drops). In the end I found just repeating the mantra 'I can do it; I will do it' in my head while looking at the drop, walking back up to my boat, and sliding into the water worked well.

I still use that skiing sometimes too.

Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?

@emmaski, Perhaps 'get a grip' should be interpreted as or replaced with 'Carpe Diem' or 'Grab the opportunity' or something that sounds more positive Smile

As said - get private lessons.
Take your time, learn at your pace and do not feel pressured into going on slopes with others too early. If you do ski with your friends, it is not a race. Head down the slope at your pace and slowly you will build confidence and begin to love skiing. You may never ski at the same pace as your friends, you may never have their level of skill, but who cares?

Give it another try for your own enjoyment/challenge and more importantly your own peace of mind that you took to the mountains to seize the day!

You need to Login to know who's really who.

Definitely get private lessons!

Personally I found that after 1 time skiing it wasn't quite what I'd hoped, but I loved the whole mountain/snow experience, so I took up snowboarding instead!

Last Christmas and at the start of last year I had a couple of ski lessons and it all seemed to click...so now I can call myself a shocking bad skiier as well as snowboarder Happy

Also...and I know not everyone agrees with this, but for boarding I wear padding (admittedly not when skiing, other than a helmet), I feel that helps with confidence, whether its valid confidence or not is another matter...but it has definitely helped!

Finally my wife is terrified of skiing, but also at least semi-interested in learning...the only way she would do it is if the nursery slope has a carpet lift, rather than a button! Everyone's different, but that may help!

Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.

There was a girl in my ski lesson group who was the same. Point blank refused to go down a blue from pure fear and she got moved into a never skied before beginner class. End of the week, she was flying down that hill loving skiing admitting how silly she felt with her earlier thoughts. Best bet is to just go do it. Private lessons are great, i got rather good on a snowboard with just one hour private lesson. (well by good, i could turn and stop, sort of, then took up sking because its much better/easier haha) With a private lesson you wont feel pressured by the group and you can learn at your own pace. Once you can turn and stop easily, the fear will vanish and you'll just enjoy cruising down the blue runs knowing you are completely safe.. (avoid turning into a black run, my fear re-emerged haha)

You'll need to Register first of course.

Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...

I've been cross country skiing this morning. It really scares me at times because it's so hard to control speed and direction even on gentle descents. I fell once because I spotted a very gentle "trough" in the piste and panicked. Yesterday, on alpine skis, I did a selection of red and black runs, perfectly happy and relaxed and never came within 100 miles of falling. I should be far less scared of xc skiing. I've had four full weeks of lessons over the years..... rolling eyes

I do sympathize.

After all it is free

My wife didn't start skiing until he early forties. I wouldn't say she was scared, but was a littel nervous. I think it helped that she had her first lessons in a group of only 5 and 2 of those were friends who were complete beginners as well.
She got hooked quite quickly and now loves skiing, although still shows a correct level of caution.
When you had lessons in the UK was that on snow or an artificial slope? In my opinion, skiing on snow is a lot easier and generally nursery sloopes are fairly painless to fall on, compared with some of the indoors stuff we have.
So, whether its private lessons or a small group, get some lessons and see if you liek it.

One tip: Increase the amounts of sports you do! Obviously better fitness helps, but more importantly it'll improve your strength, reflexes, balance, and general physical confidence. Feeling strong and competent is a BIG mental boost.

*Ski* the Net with snowHeads

Emmaski - learning to ski can be the best fun in the world provided you are with like minded people who are there to enjoy themselves. As others have said a couple of private lessons to get you started would be a good idea then go to ski school in the total beginners class. My first trip was perhaps one of the best weeks of my life, we varied in age from 20 to 60+, we laughed and laughed and laughed. At the end of the days I didnt know if I ached from laughter or from exertion. Dont take yourself too seriously, dont set your hopes and expectations to high and just go for it.

Help!!

Really nervous beginner

snowHeads Forum Index >>> The Piste