 Poster: A snowHead
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Not lifting the tips of my skis at the top of a chairlift in Norway. Got them caught on the floor and was unceremoniously dragged off the front of the chair. Then I got squished into the floor as the chair passed over my prostrate body. With my wife screaming the whole way through 
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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Was asked by an instructor to accompany one of the children in his group onto the chairlift. Helped the youngster onto their seat but didn't notice their poles were at an angle across my seat. Duly sat on the poles and dived forward off the lift into the pit below. This causes much merriment amongst those waiting in the lift queue with said liftie laughing so much he forgot to stop the lift. So there I was doing my "jack in the box" impression, you know how you raise your head to get up and then dive down again as the next sets of skis tried to take your head off. Must have been stuck for a good few minutes bobbing up and down before finally being released from my predicament by the liftie and other staff
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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First snowboarding holiday when I was 25, I knew I would love it so I bought my own board for £350, I had only recently started my first proper full time job after Uni so this was why I started so late. Anyway I went with my friend and his brothers mates who had all ski'd since they were young and we went to Verbier.
We arrived early afternoon and in our excitement went up the hill. The more advanced boarders were saying to me you should go off with those lot (the beginners) and find your feet but I insisted on coming up the hill with them saying I'm a skateboarder I'll be fine! Anyway, I get off the lift with great skill and everyone compliments me as they were sure I would fall over. Then I tried going down the red run we had ended up on, queue lots of freaking out and slide slipping down about 100 metres before the pain in my legs was so severe I stopped, took off the board and insisted I would walk down. My friend was trying to talk me down saying that was a bad idea when I undid the second of my bindings and proceeded to watch my snowboard make it's way down the slope.
My friend luckily chased it and caught up with it and when he returned sternly told me off for being an idiot, long story short I told him to go with the others (I pretty much insisted) and I would make my way down, which I did, very slowly and with great pain. I learnt a lot from that experience which at one point involved eating snow because I was so dehydrated, I kid you not!
It gets worse. Newly humbled by this experience I agreed that a lesson would be a good idea so me and two others booked a 3 hour group lesson the next afternoon. I spent the morning slowly learning how to stay up on the board and slide/stop and was feeling very confident so just before lunch I decided to go off on my own to practice more. At the bottom of a run I had managed to start linking turns on I unclipped and was feeling very exhilarated, I thought I could get another run in I just needed to quickly get to that chair over there.
I started walking very fast not noticing that there was an untouched area of snow that turned out to be a pit, I fell flat on my face when my boot sunk in and dropped my board, this time there was no one to chase it for me. It went and went and I was totally freaked out, it had gone all the way past the ski area into a powder field that led to a cliff. I went all the way down in thigh deep heavy powder and by this point I was almost crying thinking I'd lost my board for good, I was not accustomed to throwing away £350 out of stupidity. After 15 minutes of searching I heard some people shouting at me, I looked up back at the ski area and there was an English couple shouting things at me and pointing, I was too far away to hear what they were saying so I went back and spoke to them, they were very nice and said they had seen where my board went and pointed in the general direction, so off I went again, cue 30 minutes of further walking into the powder, retrieving my board and trying to get back out again. I thought I was fit but this absolutely killed me. I was drenched in sweat and took off my jacket etc... When I finally got to the lesson meeting place I was 2 hours late and my buddies were long gone, I hadn't taken my mobile with me to call anyone.
When I later regaled my story to the group I just got lots of nodding heads and disapproving looks and my friend who had recommended a leash after the first incident mentioned it again, I took his advice and used the leash for the rest of the trip.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Regrets:
1. Not having any lessons, although teaching yourself to ski can be fun. 
2. An 18 year gap between skiing ventures.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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| SnoodyMcFlude wrote: |
| Getting wasted and missing a day of skiing in La Plagne. Having spent a not small amount of money to go skiing for 6 days it was highly regretable to lose one of them as a result of drinking, something which I can easily do in the UK. |
| Layne wrote: |
2) Getting sh it faced in Tignes Le Brev and missing out on a days bluebird powder skiing. I was led astray!
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You are both weak. I got suspended for something I didn't do the day before my birthday, so I dealt with this by telling my employer where to go and helping myself to a ski holiday. I dealt with the bigger picture of being newly unemployed by getting absolutely poleaxed in Chamonix, for those who know the town this at one stage involved hanging off the moose's head in Chambre Neuf whilst crowd surfing to Green Day. Anyway, went from there to a variety of the town's lovely bars, and when I got to the burger shop on the main drag, it had already finished doing burgers so had nothing to soak it up. Didn't make it any better when I got back to the chalet and, with my room-mate, finished the half bottle of wine we'd started over dinner and then both started and finished a full second bottle. At 4am. After drinking all night.
I woke up the most ill I have ever felt from drinking. I chucked up in the shower, that kind of ill. Didn't manage much breakfast. Considered staying in all day but was staying with awesome chalet hosts who managed to convince me to go out. Went up to Evasion Mont Blanc and had an absolutely brilliant morning of skiing, with a beautiful young lady doctor. When I say out of my league what I mean is that I was like Barnet Working Men's Club 5-a-side football team and she was like Chelsea. But I had a wonderful morning with her and a lovely drink in a nice bar, then we went for lunch somewhere and onto La Folie Douce for some champagne and party. I kind of wanted to ski through the afternoon but whilst I wasn't really trying it on with the doctor, I was mildly enjoying the company of a hot lady which doesn't happen all that much - and enjoying the fact that all the blokes I bumped into in the Folie assumed she was my girlfriend and gave me that 'fair play son' nod of respect. So I thought buying the drinks in the Folie could possibly help with keeping up the image.
Somehow the combination of champagne, red wine, lager and a panini did not sit well on top of what remained of last night's liquid dinner; I felt the stomach movements in good time and began to make my excuses to use the bathroom. However I was not nearly quick enough and had to chunder into a pint glass I was holding. I held it over my mouth and just let my insides go. It filled quickly so I grabbed a random empty one on the table and filled that most of the way too. I thought if I moved quick, I could get them into a bin and nobody would know. But looking for a bin, I then slipped on the wood veranda in my icy ski boots, and whilst trying to keep my balance together, threw two pint cups full of vomit all over the place.
I don't know if she saw. I never asked and she never told. People stood nearby pretended not to see. The younger guys gave me a nod of "must've been a good night", the rest just pretended they hadn't noticed. I ran away and went skiing. I still talk to the doctor. All's well that ends well.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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| dp wrote: |
| SnoodyMcFlude wrote: |
| Getting wasted and missing a day of skiing in La Plagne. Having spent a not small amount of money to go skiing for 6 days it was highly regretable to lose one of them as a result of drinking, something which I can easily do in the UK. |
| Layne wrote: |
2) Getting sh it faced in Tignes Le Brev and missing out on a days bluebird powder skiing. I was led astray!
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You are both weak. I got suspended for something I didn't do the day before my birthday, so I dealt with this by telling my employer where to go and helping myself to a ski holiday. I dealt with the bigger picture of being newly unemployed by getting absolutely poleaxed in Chamonix, for those who know the town this at one stage involved hanging off the moose's head in Chambre Neuf whilst crowd surfing to Green Day. Anyway, went from there to a variety of the town's lovely bars, and when I got to the burger shop on the main drag, it had already finished doing burgers so had nothing to soak it up. Didn't make it any better when I got back to the chalet and, with my room-mate, finished the half bottle of wine we'd started over dinner and then both started and finished a full second bottle. At 4am. After drinking all night.
I woke up the most ill I have ever felt from drinking. I chucked up in the shower, that kind of ill. Didn't manage much breakfast. Considered staying in all day but was staying with awesome chalet hosts who managed to convince me to go out. Went up to Evasion Mont Blanc and had an absolutely brilliant morning of skiing, with a beautiful young lady doctor. When I say out of my league what I mean is that I was like Barnet Working Men's Club 5-a-side football team and she was like Chelsea. But I had a wonderful morning with her and a lovely drink in a nice bar, then we went for lunch somewhere and onto La Folie Douce for some champagne and party. I kind of wanted to ski through the afternoon but whilst I wasn't really trying it on with the doctor, I was mildly enjoying the company of a hot lady which doesn't happen all that much - and enjoying the fact that all the blokes I bumped into in the Folie assumed she was my girlfriend and gave me that 'fair play son' nod of respect. So I thought buying the drinks in the Folie could possibly help with keeping up the image.
Somehow the combination of champagne, red wine, lager and a panini did not sit well on top of what remained of last night's liquid dinner; I felt the stomach movements in good time and began to make my excuses to use the bathroom. However I was not nearly quick enough and had to chunder into a pint glass I was holding. I held it over my mouth and just let my insides go. It filled quickly so I grabbed a random empty one on the table and filled that most of the way too. I thought if I moved quick, I could get them into a bin and nobody would know. But looking for a bin, I then slipped on the wood veranda in my icy ski boots, and whilst trying to keep my balance together, threw two pint cups full of vomit all over the place.
I don't know if she saw. I never asked and she never told. People stood nearby pretended not to see. The younger guys gave me a nod of "must've been a good night", the rest just pretended they hadn't noticed. I ran away and went skiing. I still talk to the doctor. All's well that ends well. |
That, my friend, was fookin hilarious.
The mountains do funny things to us don't they.
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| dp wrote: |
..... However I was not nearly quick enough and had to chunder into a pint glass I was holding. I held it over my mouth and just let my insides go. It filled quickly so I grabbed a random empty one on the table and filled that most of the way too. I thought if I moved quick, I could get them into a bin and nobody would know. But looking for a bin, I then slipped on the wood veranda in my icy ski boots, and whilst trying to keep my balance together, threw two pint cups full of vomit all over the place.
I don't know if she saw. I never asked and she never told....... |
I take it you didn't get a shag?
p.s. That had me crying laughing.
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Fascinating reading on a bleak Saturday afternoon in the UK, how long is it till we are on holiday??
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Took a slab of widget equipped Boddingtons to Breckenridge and then spent a good deal of time cleaning said Boddingtons off the ceiling. Resorted to the shower to open the rest. However, this paled into insignificance after mate number 1 put fairy liquid in the dish washer and filled the bar style kitchen with suds, I was only reminded of the event this morning when I saw the hangar that was full of fire foam at San José this morning. 
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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Three skiers are going down a pretty wide piste. Stranger to the right, Girlfriend to the left, I'm a bit further back in the middle *attempting* really short turns.
I mess up my rhythm and flail around trying to recover, picking up a load of speed in the process, at the exact moment the other two decide to turn towards the middle removing my entire plan for a proper recovery, or path for the next few meters.
Dilemma: Do I chuck myself down and risk taking out both, or do an evasive turn / brake right that will probably clip the stranger, or left and clip my gf? I chose my gf. I missed her mostly, but clipped her tails that sent her flying down the slope. She was fine, thankfully.
I - heroically, I may add - managed to get ahead of her and help stop the slide / get skis poles etc...
However, I still hear about this incident quite frequently. So I probably should have aimed for the stranger 
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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Making 6 stops from the top of Gornergrat to Riffelberg (Zermatt) to be sick after a slightly too many sherbert dib-dabs and fondue the night before....lucky for me I had picked the busiest blue run full of ski schools to watch my progress down the slope.
The shame haunts me still...
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Staying in VT and getting back from the club around 4am waking up in the morning and finding out all wallets, phones and skis had been stolen from right under our noses!! :0 around £6500 of goods gone!!!! Remember kids, close your front door!!
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You know it makes sense.
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Souze D'Oulx, Mid 90's on Airtours package staying at cylindrical tower hotel- can't remember name. Me and a couple of friends and only other Brits in hotel were another bunch of 4 or 5 lads staying in the room next to us at the top of the hotel.
Last night of the week we'd all agreed to meet for a couple of beers, as you do, but our room had been hacking it around and found a bar on the slopes. A few (ok several few) beers then down to the resort to drop of ski's and boots at hire shop. By then we'd forgotten that we were due to have a couple with the lads and found another hostelry on way back to hotel. Another few beers and then back to hotel for drink, quick shower, change, drink, dinner, drink, drink etc. But this didn't go according to plan...
After an active day, warm hotel room, soft beds and following consumption of a several (read many) beers and no doubt other alcoholic beverages of dubious heritage we merry three fell asleep, missed dinner and woke up the following morning still in salopettes etc but covered in contents of our wash bags - aquafresh, shaving gel and shower gel make quite a sticky mess when not wipe off in minutes. Our so called compatriots from the neighbouring room couldn't keep straight faces at breakfast.
Now whilst we did see the funny side, I felt we needed to avenge this poor show on their behalf - not waking us for dinner and further drinking - so we waited for the opportunity. Whilst we hung around for the transfer, one of my roomies thought it would be fund to see if we could hide their luggage, but we needed to get them away from their bags. He nipped off to reception and somehow managed to persuade them to call the lads back in. We then thought hiding the luggage was perhaps not the best idea in case it was pinched - we did have some sense!!! Anyway a genius (evil) idea popped into my head and I decided to pick up lumps of snow from where it had been cleared and carefully packed this in their bags.
On the coach to Turin we had to endure their enjoyment of how they had covered us in gunk the night before, but kept silent on our revenge. We kept quiet as we went through check-in and baggage (they were on a different flight unfortunately) until their bags set off on their journey to be loaded when we decided to let them know they had failed the airline's security questions of did you pack your bags yourselves.
I would loved to have been a fly on the wall when they arrived back in the UK to find grimy, gritty snowmelt. 
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Deleted as duplicated
Last edited by Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name: on Mon 21-11-16 15:05; edited 1 time in total
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Poster: A snowHead
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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FAQ
