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The Rules

 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
rule 45. They are your kids. ffs get a life.

See rule 5


Last edited by Poster: A snowHead on Wed 31-12-14 1:57; edited 1 time in total
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 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
@thecramps, pmsl Toofy Grin
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
I would like to add a couple of rules for transfer drivers:

1: Chains are for losers. Listen to the drivers you meet at the airport who have done 3 seasons in Val and never had to use them. The customers love a little bit of sliding around, and stopping to put them on will only slow you down.

2: Speed is everything - the best drivers are the fastest. Getting flashed is a medal of honour, especially as you won't get points on your UK license. Customers much prefer being thrown around in the back and having their children vomit on them, than getting to Flaine 5 minutes later.

3: When you have customers onboard, show off your local knowledge with un-neccessary back roads. Refer to them as things like "Scary Short Cut", or "Road of Death".

4: Never arrive early for a pick-up, as you will invariably have to find somewhere to park which inconveniences as many people as possible. The customers really enjoy fretting about missing their flight as it promotes healthy conversation on the way down, and standing around outside in the cold waiting helps relax them for the descent.

5: Personal hygene is optional, and remeber to keep your board boots in the back of your van, as this reminds customers of the scent of skiing, and takes up space that the customers would have to find ways of filling with their luggage.

6: Don't worry about researching a resort of hotel you have never been to before as :
a) you can look for road signs
b) you can stop and ask someone who speaks english
c) the customers have probably been there before anyhow
d) reversing down snowy mountain roads demonstrates how good a driver you are

7: Remember that you are the hero, tell the passengers that with an empty van you can get from GVA to Morzine in 39 minutes, and you are doing them a favour by allowing them to enjoy the scenery a bit. Importantly, remind them that as soon as you drop them off, you can go to the pub for some aprés (Mutzig and Jagerbombs only), and because you are the best and the fastest, you will be there before the other drivers so you can drink more.
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 You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
I love it, lol, those rules are great,. Rule 38 needs to be enforced here on snowheads. Of course managing to get a great deal is cool, but to whine because it cost so much you expect four star service isn't cool.
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 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Quote:

Importantly, remind them that as soon as you drop them off, you can go back to the pub, after all you were kind enough to pop out between jaeger bombs and ski shots to pick them up.


FIFY.
Very Happy
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 You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
Rulwe one!
know what you're doing!
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 Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Rulwe one!
know what you're doing!
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 After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
Nice irony!
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 You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
Megamum wrote:
33. Ruroc helmet/goggles combinations are only permitted on piste during fancy dress days when full stormtrooper ensemble shall be worn with white ski boots


@PaulC1984 msy disagree. Happy
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 Ski the Net with snowHeads
Ski the Net with snowHeads
feef.. You sound like a boring prat to ski with Skullie
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 snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
@Mr Hog Roast, You sound like an utter knob!
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 And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
@feef,
I love a good joke but I have a very strict quality control on what qualifies for that exalted description, as along with manners, literacy, punctuation, decent music, manliness, womanliness, gnarliness, a good read, the word "awesome" etc, the bar for what constitutes proper funny seems to have been heading southwards into mushy pap for far too long now.
(I last had a good five-minute belly laugh at 11.15am on July 15, 1989. I'm due another one any day now and I'm hangin' out for that.)

However, every time I re-read the rules, I have a bl@@dy good chuckle and know that somewhere out there is that hill where the rules are understood and followed and all is harmony and sense.

Hats off to sH feef. We should put some turns together together one day!
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 So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
New rule: Never confuse skiing with exercise. Any fitness/health benefit derived from the days' activities should immediately be negated by a properly unhealthy drinking and eating regime.
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 You know it makes sense.
You know it makes sense.
@c44rver, we call it maintaining calorie neutrality...
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 Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Can we add:

No Brexit talks on Bashes. We are currently one big happy family and want to keep it that way. Brexit talks will lead to unnecessary bottling and bloodshed around the bar Happy
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 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
That shouldn't be a problem @PaulC1984.
Even the notorious Lachigo attended the EoSB once and left alive and unscathed.
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 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
haha PMSL Happy
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Slight edit to Rule 15;

Don't exaggerate incidents: crashes are only worth announcing in the bar if one or all involved required a blood wagon, helicopter evacuation or there is significant loss of blood or at least one limb. Anything less requires the application of Rule 5.
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 You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
Rule 46: the DomCum clause - all previous rules apply only to the little people. Government ministers and special advisors can do what they like at all times, including skiing closed pistes in the dark without a helmet, insurance or a lift pass, on skis they stole from outside the piste-side apres bar while claiming to be "following their instincts"
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