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I'm not sure I actually enjoy skiing!

 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
Firstly I'm a long time lurker, and have posted here before. I've not joined just to criticise, promise.

I started skiing back in 2012. I've been once a year for a week since 2014, and have been more than once a year three times.

I've gone from beginner to intermediot...

I've just come back from a fun week in Val Thorens. By the last day I just couldn't be bothered anymore.

I finished my last day early, after just a couple of hours, despite lovely weather conditions. My thinking was that I'd survived the week without falling, or falling and hurting myself. My legs were a bit tired and I was unsure when they might give up and result in me making a mistake and possibly injuring myself. Or, being high up the mountain, my legs giving up and then having to struggle all the way back. Despite the lovely weather, I just ditched it instead.

When going down a nice blue run, or some reds, with steep parts that then open out to gradual inclines, with a piste in a good condition and not too many people around - I generally enjoy that.

When it's steep, busy, chopped up, moguls, busy but people screaming past you....I'm just happy to have survived. People might point to a feeling of achievement, I more so think I don't need to put myself in this scenario - why have I, what was the point?
I do get the feeling of achievement but it's tainted with questioning the whole premise of putting yourself in that situation.

I also might be getting grumpy about it all.
We ski with a group of 4-6 others. Even the post ski debrief, where everyone shares their "amazing" runs has started to annoy. People going faster, carving more, doing extra runs when it was "just perfect" it all just grates on me a little. I don't go on holiday to compete. Maybe skiing isn't a holiday?

My wife loves skiing, she would, if we could, move and do a ski season. She's a much better skier. But, before you think she's pushing me and making me not enjoy it...she's a great ski buddy, a great ski "leader" and I like skiing with her. Even though I might not enjoy the actual skiing.

I just feel like I'm doing something that constantly involves:
- trying not to smash my face in
- trying to go faster, yet not smash my face in
- going down steeper slopes, whilst not smashing my face in
- being overly aware of other idiots on the slopes who are probably trying to smash my face in

The idea that if it goes wrong I get the joy of going down the mountain in a canoe, and dealing with the aftermath for who knows how long - I just wonder what the point is.

I love the scenery
I love the partying

But, I'd rather scuba dive - which is chilled, relaxing and almost meditative.

I'm not "old" I'm mid 30's.

I've taken lessons. Private lessons with good instructors recommend by or actually in here.

I can ski down most things on a piste, e.g. chopped up icy blacks, except I cannot do huge mogul fields. I won't say I ski well down them, I get in the backseat, go pretty slowly but it's careful and considered.

But, when skiing down an icey black, I'm most likely singing some random song to "get me through it". I'm not enjoying it. I'm not sure why I am bothering to voluntarily do something, just to get through it.

I'm not the fittest person in the world, if that makes a difference

I mentioned it to a colleague and he said he went through a period of thinking the same but his opinions changed

Ultimately, my wife loves it, so I'm not going to stop going.

So, have any of you gone through periods of not enjoying skiing, if so, what changed or how did you change it?

Thanks and apologies for the negativity on a Ski Forum!
ski holidays
 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
I briefly wondered on a trip a few weeks back if I was just going through the motions, but my trip last week proved that I definitely still love it.

Get more lessons, get better and it'll let you enjoy it more. It'll also help with fitness, e.g the better you are, the more efficiently you ski so the less fitness comes into it. I'm similar age and definitely not fit (17st of unfit). Don't bother skiing black runs if you don't enjoy them, it's a holiday not a box ticking exercise. Also balls to the apres bragging bit.

I suspect that it's just a case of you not liking skiing as much as you'd like to so perhaps start looking at other stuff you can do on the mountain while Mrs TCruise does the skiing thing?
ski holidays
 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Enjoyment in skiing comes from confidence. Confidence comes from ability. Ability comes from experience. Experience comes from time on snow. There is no substitute for time on snow. Lessons increase the return from time on snow but there is no substitute for time on snow.

Go and do a season. If you still hate it after that, move to Barbados.
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I've spent the last couple of years standing at the side of the slope and wondering if I ACTUALLY enjoyed what I was doing, with the answer that I probably didn't. Like you I loved the view and peripheral things, apres, etc, but the wood on foot bit was something I found tiresome.

I've had time to think since my last trip. I remembered back to the 70s when my mum, who never skied, would put Ski Sunday on, which she loved. I watched it, finding it exotic and exciting. Then, when I was 48, shortly after my mother's death, I booked my first trip. I never managed to achieve the feeling of watching Ski Sunday whilst actually skiing.

What I have realised is that I find the act of skiing from the top to the bottom quite boring, but that if I, as I did a little on my last trip, visualised a slalom course in front of me (by picking out features on the snow and skiing left and right around them), it gave me a purpose - there was a reason for doing it, and, in a sense, I'm recreating what I saw when I was young.

Everyone has their own reason to ski, you just have to find that special reason for YOU to do it, or quit.


Last edited by You need to Login to know who's really who. on Sun 9-02-20 21:17; edited 1 time in total
snow conditions
 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
TCruise wrote:
I finished my last day early, after just a couple of hours, despite lovely weather conditions. My thinking was that I'd survived the week without falling, or falling and hurting myself. My legs were a bit tired and I was unsure when they might give up and result in me making a mistake and possibly injuring myself. Or, being high up the mountain, my legs giving up and then having to struggle all the way back. Despite the lovely weather, I just ditched it instead.
When going down a nice blue run, or some reds, with steep parts that then open out to gradual inclines, with a piste in a good condition and not too many people around - I generally enjoy that.
When it's steep, busy, chopped up, moguls, busy but people screaming past you....I'm just happy to have survived. People might point to a feeling of achievement, I more so think I don't need to put myself in this scenario - why have I, what was the point?
I do get the feeling of achievement but it's tainted with questioning the whole premise of putting yourself in that situation.
.... People going faster, carving more, doing extra runs when it was "just perfect" it all just grates on me a little. I don't go on holiday to compete.
...I just feel like I'm doing something that constantly involves:
- trying not to smash my face in
- trying to go faster, yet not smash my face in
- going down steeper slopes, whilst not smashing my face in
- being overly aware of other idiots on the slopes who are probably trying to smash my face in.
I love the scenery
I love the partying
.... But, when skiing down an icey black, I'm most likely singing some random song to "get me through it". I'm not enjoying it. I'm not sure why I am bothering to voluntarily do something, just to get through it.


Hey, so you're not a super hero! Join the club. Laughing
Think that you've said it all, there.
You enjoy a skiing holiday. You enjoy the scenery, the partying, cruising the wide and preferably empty blues and reds. You don't enjoy taking what you consider unnecessary risks which might result in painful outcomes.
You know that you can ski well. You don't have to prove it. You do actually enjoy skiing.
Welcome any time with me in the WussesRUs club Very Happy
I'm exactly the same on my motorbike, BTW. Love riding, done it longer than you've been alive. Never going to win a race with anyone (unless it's a slow riding one!) So what?
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I suspect there's a few things going on in your head here, but the main one seems to be fear of hurting yourself, and I think most of us can identify with that.

I live in the mountains, so I can ski as much or as little as I want. Which means I generally chose not to ski when it's peak tourist season, when it's raining or when I'm in pain. Then there's the times that I don't ski simply because I don't feel like it. I do absolutely love skiing, but I don't love picking my way down crowded pistes. I also do everything I possibly can to avoid falling over, which at best means I am stuck until someone helps me up. So for me skiing has stopped being about cramming a season's worth into one or two weeks and it has stopped being about trying to do more than last season. It is still about enjoying quality time with friends and the joy of being in the mountains. It's not a challenge, or a race, or even a lesson. It might even be about mornings like this morning, where busy tourist season meant that I went out early, enjoyed a couple of full on hours by myself on fresh pistes before the hungover tourists had their breakfasts. Then I went home to have my breakfast. As a result I probably enjoy skiing more now that the pressure of a skiing holiday has gone.

I'm guessing my approach isn't an option for you, but I think my point is that somehow you need to remove the pressure from what you are doing and concentrate more on what you enjoy. If that means finishing early and having a beer, a rest, a mooch round the shops, then so be it. Or perhaps try some other snow activities like tobogganing, cross country skiing, ski touring, snowshoe walking, etc. to mix it up a bit. Good luck.
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 Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
I strongly recommend going somewhere with fewer people. Also, try ski touring and snowshoeing. I suddenly got into snowshoeing a couple of years back, and I absolutely love it (in fresh snow). A number of times, I know I've been the only human being in the entire little valley that I've found myself in (cos no other tracks wink). Snowshoeing is ideal in places where ski touring could be a drag; not everything in the mountains needs to be summitting and skiing back down.

Personally I find myself going off-piste even in less-than-ideal conditions because I can't be doing with crowded pistes... too worried I might make a mistake and hit someone!
ski holidays
 After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
Skiing last week I had a couple of days of wondering why the hell I was bothering. One was a horrible icy windy day - i was frustrated with myself, but turns out no one else had been enjoying it either. The other was a beautiful day, but filled with people - crackers pistes, bargy lift queues. As my temper frayed my nerves went, all ski technique went and everything hurt. As soon as I got to a quieter, more familiar slope... it suddenly came right again. All was well as I slowly meandered down the piste and enjoyed the scenery.

I'm nowhere near as good a skier as you - done a couple of blacks, still firmly in the intermediate stage. And I'm super slow on every run. But I love the mountains and the atmosphere. Last week (on a snowheads bash, with skiers of all varieties!) I learned that it's ok to ski the nice runs, it's ok to be slower, it's ok to just do what you enjoy. It's also ok (sensible even) to finish early if it's not a good day for whatever reason. Or to have a long break, or find a spot where it's quiet.

So yeah, I suppose I'm trying to say enjoy it your way. I'm more likely to chat about how slowly I bimbled down a gorgeous blue after a days skiing. snowHead Oh, and being fitter does help a bit - have been running this year after being very unfit, and everything felt a touch easier. Worth it.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
I’m reading a book called Inner Skiing (it was mentioned on an episode of the Ski podcast) and it talks about how our fear and inner dialogue gets in the way of enjoying skiing. The idea is to free your mind of these thoughts and just experience the sensation in the present. I tried that approach today and found it helpful and enjoyed my skiing much more
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 Ski the Net with snowHeads
Ski the Net with snowHeads
TCruise wrote:

I also might be getting grumpy about it all.
We ski with a group of 4-6 others. Even the post ski debrief, where everyone shares their "amazing" runs has started to annoy. People going faster, carving more, doing extra runs when it was "just perfect" it all just grates on me a little. I don't go on holiday to compete. Maybe skiing isn't a holiday?


I love skiing but also can't stand the post ski debriefs.

So long as I haven't done anything really stupid or hurt myself - haven't really got much to say!
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 snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
I didn't make the point as well as queenie pretty please did, but basically it's the realization that you don't actually need to ski pistes all day every day. Pick and choose the best times, days, weather for you. Ski for a couple of hours and then do something else just as (or more) enjoyable for the rest of the day. Or take a day off and go for a long snowshoe adventure! One thing about snowshoeing is that it takes time; between 4 and 8 hours is normal. During these hours - if you can get yourself onto lesser-trodden routes - you'll see more wildlife and feel more in touch with the natural environment than in an entire season of skiing pistes.
ski holidays
 And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
Quote:

I love the scenery
I love the partying


2 outta 3 ain't bad
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 So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
Ok. Skiing is ( unless you are wearing a number and a catsuit) a hobby/pastime, not a sport. When skiing, you are generally on holiday. Holidays usually involve chilling out and relaxing. Why should skiing descend into willy waving and self analysis?

When you go diving, you tend not to compare techniques or finning efficiency - you look at the nice fish or marvel at the scenery. Generally, there more relaxed you are, the less air you use and the more fish/scenery you can enjoy. The same is true is skiing.

Concentrate on the bits you enjoy and have a fantastic time in the hills. Lunch like a boss. Ignore other skiers. Make new friends. Start late, finish early. Start early, finish late. Don't compare yourself to others. Relax. Be more boarder!

I love skiing. Sometimes I love the skiing best, sometimes I love the party best, sometimes Il ove the people best. I always love the mountains.

A wise man once said," if sex isn't your favourite thing, you're not doing it right.".
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 You know it makes sense.
You know it makes sense.
@TCruise,
Quote:

When going down a nice blue run, or some reds, with steep parts that then open out to gradual inclines, with a piste in a good condition and not too many people around - I generally enjoy that.

When it's steep, busy, chopped up, moguls, busy but people screaming past you....I'm just happy to have survived.
I think that view is shared by the majority of people on the forum, actually, and certainly by me. It's the good bits which keep me coming back and I try not to stress out too much about the inevitable bad or scary bits. Lessons have helped me immeasurably, to enjoy the good bits, to know that I can negotiate the bad bits if necessary, and to get to the end of the day/holiday without being exhausted. So I'd suggest continuing to have lessons, trying to avoid the busiest slopes if possible (one good ploy is to take an early or a late lunch and ski when most other people are lunching) and not forcing yourself out in horrible conditions or on to difficult terrain if you don't feel like it. I did just that last week: having skied nine consecutive days and, for the most part enjoyed it, I then took two days off when the weather turned nasty and returned to the slopes when the sun was shining again. Sorted.
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 Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
I enjoy skiing but we consider it a holiday where we ski not a skiing holiday. If weather doesn't suit or it gets crazy busy or we just want a break, we do. Happy to spend a 2hr lunch if needed!

Take the time to look around and just enjoy being in the mountains.

We find we love the more laidback style of Scandinavian skiing and have no desire to ski the mega resorts of France.
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 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
TCruise wrote:
So, have any of you gone through periods of not enjoying skiing, if so, what changed or how did you change it?
Yes, a long time ago, in similar circumstances to you in terms of ski experience. I'd not go as far as to say I didn't enjoy it, better to say my enjoyment had plateaued and my frustration levels in some circumstances (steeper pistes, bumps, ice, the mystery that was off-piste) was higher than I wanted it to be considering how expensive the skiing habit was. I changed it by becoming a better skier. The better I became the higher my enjoyment levels. By good fortune I became friends with a British ski instructor one summer, and he was kind enough to invite me to crash at his place for a cheap ski holiday. During that holiday he persuaded me to sign up for group lessons, which I did, ending up in his class. What I didn't realise at the time was he was the Chairman of BASI, and it took him about four seconds to see how many different things were holding back my enjoyment of skiing. That was the start of a long and enjoyable process of improving my skiing, although it's worth noting that it is not a linear process and periods of frustration continue to take hold, even today more than 20 years later.

Also worth noting that there are different ways of enjoying being in the mountains in the winter, and skiing should not be compulsory if people really aren't enjoying it.
ski holidays
 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
It’s pretty simple - ski what you want, when you want with who you want and drop all the rest like a sack of Shoite.

Some days I ski some days I don’t. The world doesn’t end because I finish at lunchtime and get slaughtered on Rosé instead. It’s your holiday, put your big boy knickers on and make it work for you.
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
TCruise wrote:
......

I just feel like I'm doing something that constantly involves:
- trying not to smash my face in
- trying to go faster, yet not smash my face in
- going down steeper slopes, whilst not smashing my face in
- being overly aware of other idiots on the slopes who are probably trying to smash my face in

The idea that if it goes wrong I get the joy of going down the mountain in a canoe, and dealing with the aftermath for who knows how long.......

.....I'd rather scuba dive......

Scuba diving is as dangerous as f**k!
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 You need to Login to know who's really who.
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spyderjon wrote:
TCruise wrote:


...I'd rather scuba dive...

Scuba diving is as dangerous as f**k!
Indeed. One of our regular clients in the early years of Inside Out Skiing died in a scuba accident Crying or Very sad
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 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
I was thinking about this today while skiing. Pistes were pretty firm and given I'd only brought piste skis with me, and the offpiste has been variously weatherfarked I wasn't in my ideal environment. It was a glorious day which I enjoyed and skiing a few quiet blues and reds. But busier reds and black runs I thought that I'm really not into that. Too many backseat speedsters and defensive scrapers. I think I'd give up skiing if that's all there was. Fortunately it isn't.


Last edited by Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do. on Sun 9-02-20 22:13; edited 1 time in total
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@TCruise, Hi T , maybe you should concentrate on BASE jumping.

Much more suited to your 16PF.
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 Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
@Nadenoodlee, spot on!

Some practical tips to support this might be

Don’t ski in group all the time, let some go do the blacks while you find a nice blue to loop and meet up later. If the black is the only way down do it at your pace. Tell them to crack on and say you’ll meet at the bottom. If they’re good friends they’ll wait for you.

When the masses have lunch you ski as it’s quieter

Download in a gondola if you’re tired and don’t get sucked into the bull of first lift last lift culture. Always try to end your skiing session on a good steady run which you’ve skied nicely and how you wanted to.

Just walk away from the dick swinging chat après take a walk in the village while they get that out their system and join up afterwards.

I’ve done or do all the above and enjoy my skiing all the more for it if with a large group.

Always always remember it’s a holiday not a boot camp

Hope you find your mojo
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 After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
If you only go for a week there is pressure to ski all day every day, but there is no law that says you have to, its a holiday you should enjoy it.
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 You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
rob@rar wrote:
spyderjon wrote:
TCruise wrote:


...I'd rather scuba dive...

Scuba diving is as dangerous as f**k!
Indeed. One of our regular clients in the early years of Inside Out Skiing died in a scuba accident Crying or Very sad


Tragic story but raises an interesting point for OP - why is he more comfortable under water than on the mountain?

I know a lot of people who find scuba diving terrifying, including my girlfriend. My experience is limited but when I did my open water diver I found some of the safety drills and challenges scary and a real adrenaline buzz, and as fun, if not more, than a relaxing saunter.

Maybe you don't like the "extreme sport" side of it - high, fast, steep, risky. Take it at a leaisurely pace if thats what you enjoy
ski holidays
 Ski the Net with snowHeads
Ski the Net with snowHeads
When I first started skiing I'd go with hubby to chalet holidays - I liked the company, the apres-ski story telling etc. and I was a reasonable skier confident on reds.
Then we started taking the kids - we cruised the blues and generally self-catered. Different, but fun.
Then in 2015 I broke my shoulder - and got carried down the mountain on a blood wagon
Then we went close friends - kids the same age. Loved the company on the slopes, my confidence was affected - but my friend was excellent at coaxing me down!
I then had to have a hip replacement so missed a year, hubby & son went with the friends, girlie and I went to Lanzarote!
The following year the two families went with just the boys (the girls were at uni). We self-catered but shared an apartment - the kids were nearly adults and it was like being back in a chalet - so once again the apres-ski was a big part of the holiday.
Last February we went with my kids, and my friend and her son. We met up during the days and occasionally at night.
We were due to ski as an 8 again at New Year, but last July their daughter tragically died. Understandably they cancelled, as did my daughter, she couldn't face a holiday without her best friend. I went with just my son and my husband. It was a holiday tinged with grief, I was unbelievably tense, and very nervous and the slopes were crowded - I have to say, there were times when I really didn't enjoy the skiing. I came to the conclusion that the main thing I liked about the recent holidays since I'd lost my confidence was the company, the coffee stops, the evenings. My son also said he felt he had lost the ski mojo - but I suspect he was also missing the others. Its not so much fun being 20 on holiday with just mum and dad.

That being said, my friend adores skiing as does my husband so the three of us are going in March - I am hoping that with quieter slopes and good company I will re find my enjoyment of the actual skiing. I think I am going to get a lesson near the beginning of the holiday to try and boost my confidence - because if I continue to worry about hurting myself I might as well give up, and if I keep avoiding reds it will ruin their holiday.

This year I did take New Years day off because I was "down" - the following day with rested muscles I skied better, I also stopped some afternoons before the boys did to allow them to go off and do some reds and blacks.

I think part of the problem is that when you pay so much and you are only there for a week you feel you HAVE to ski every day. When I was younger I used to want to be on the slopes at lift opening, and not stop till they closed - maximum value from my pass lol! I never understood why anyone would, for example, go to a spa or stay in a chalet reading when they could be skiing. You can do those things at home.

However after the last year, I am realising that just being able to sit in a deckchair on a sunny mountain staring into space and counting your blessings is what its about.

Happy holidays
ski holidays
 snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
Take up x-country, good views, cheaper, better exercise and it will give you a healthy respect for gentle slopes.
ski holidays
 And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
I absolutely love skiing but would not enjoy the type of ski holiday you describe. Maybe you should try just going with your wife next time or going in a group of mixed ability where there is at least one person who will want to ski at your pace and on reds and blues if they are the runs you prefer. If you haven't been to the Grand Massif ski area I would give that a go. It is a good area for mixed ability groups.
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 So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
So if you're just off somewhere snowy come back and post a snow report of your own and we'll all love you very much
I agree with @snowymum, sounds as if a smaller, quieter, place would suit you better. Maybe in Italy, where the piste grooming is impeccable and food and drink are much cheaper than Val Thorens. I skied many weeks a year in a small, quiet, French resort and was regularly appalled by the crowds in places like Val Thorens, even in low season.
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 You know it makes sense.
You know it makes sense.
Maybe get some instruction with the emphasis on skiing in a controlled manner?

Sounds like you enjoy the tourism aspect, maybe try different resorts?

Skiing with a group can be unnerving, and can be too competitive, fast and out of control, maybe take time out to ski on your own and concentrate on style rather than speed. I really enjoy skiing by own for a few runs at the end of the day.

Feign going back to your accommodation after lunch, but ski on your own at your own pace.

Six days can be too long, take a day out midweek and do something else, or go for a couple of long weekends, not a week.

As you say, sometimes black and red runs can be less crowded than blue runs, and provided you are confident with steepness, tend not to have as many out of control inexperienced skiers ...
ski holidays
 Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
^^ true. Avoid the resort runs at the end of the day which always end up crowded and in crappy condition

My favorite time is the first lift. Its quiet, no queues, perfect pistes, untouched powder if you're lucky, and only other like minded folk are around. Great time to enjoy having the place to yourself and to strike up conversation with the few people you see.
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 Poster: A snowHead
Poster: A snowHead
@TCruise, if you've only just come back don't overreact. Sometimes it needs a bit of perspective.

Maybe we are masochists, but our choice of holidays always involve challenging activities - not just skiing but cycling, hiking, sailing. There is always something of the banging your head against the a brick wall, so nice when it stops. But in retrospect the challenge takes humdrum thoughts out of my head, and on return to the "real world" I am refreshed and really appreciate that holiday.

But you do need to work out the sort of skiing that works for you. There are some where it is all about the adrenaline rush of skiing down impossibly difficult black runs, others where it is again adrenaline and skiing at a stupid speed where a small mistake would break bones. But for us we enjoy feeling the achievement of doing a trip, skiing to some distant part of the area (preferably one with a promising lunch stop) and then back, if possible taking in more of the region. Mostly on reds and blues, but not ignoring blacks if they look fun rather than scary.

And negotiate with your other half how to make it work for both of you jointly, and your friends. I would prefer to ski faster than my wife, so sometimes I let her get well ahead and I can let my hair down catching up with her. Daughter is an adrenaline junkie, so sometimes where there are alternative routes she diverts to ski a black and get her kicks then meets up again. However we do all get pleasure from simply covering the kilometres.

But there are two sides to negotiation, and perhaps your wife needs to acknowledge that one skiing holiday a year is enough for you. There are plenty of other possibilities for holidays that give you both pleasure, and if necessary you can accept her sneaking in the odd weekend with her hard-core ski friends.
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 Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
I'm 66 and semi-retired with a place in Switzerland and the contrast to skiing when I was younger is substantial: We don't ski Wednesday afternoons when local school ski groups crowd the slope with 'snakes'. We don't ski Saturdays when the young locals go crazy because it's the only chance they get to let off steam before going back to school/college in the week. We don't ever go in school holidays. We don't ski when it's snowing hard or high winds. We'll often go snoeshoeing if the weather's bad or the pistes are busy and I love that. We always travel on a weekday, never on a Saturday.

So my skiing is on relatively empty pistes, with no queuing at lifts, in an area I know very well, in good weather. If I get tired, or the pistes are getting churned up, or for some reason it's just too busy, or I just feel I've done enough, then I stop, have a drink and go home. This is in stark contrast to when I was working and trying to pack everything into a pre-booked week or 10 days or a long weekend, in a group (always with some adrenalin-junkie in it), having bought a period pass so not skiing meant wasting money I'd already paid out. Looking back, I realise that quite a few of my group trips were dominated by one or two people effectively dictating that everyone else do what they wanted but positing it as my just 'lacking a bit of confidence' or needing to improve my style.

So my advice to the OP echoes what others have said: even if you're constrained by circumstances, you can perhaps organise things so that you get more enjoyment out of the holiday - don't go in school holidays; don't go in a group (unless there's a high degree of independence tolerated between you); don't go somewhere that tends to be very busy (I know, easier said than done, but ..); buy a ski pass by the day; go somewhere with a choice of activities (try snowshoeing, thermal resort stuff, swimming) or even a cultural day trip; and explore the potential for weekday-to-weekday excursions. And take a day off if you feel like it. This could transform your experience.

And there's nothing wrong with your partner or you doing stuff separately as well as together. Previous years, I've also gone out for a long weekend with my daughter. This year, she joined us for a week initially and she and her Mum did a couple of days snowshoeing together when the weather was grotty, and I just stayed in the village. This year, my wife is going out again with her sister and nephews. Having to do everything together can be as counterproductive on a ski holiday as it is in other situations.


Last edited by Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person on Mon 10-02-20 15:17; edited 5 times in total
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 Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
I have this pseudo-memory of someone like Jeremy Clarkson describing owning a car marque (Alfa Romeo as I recall, which is a ‘place’ I’ve been) as trading a lifetime of hell for moments of perfection. The question is can you see a way to perfect moments (relatively speaking) in skiing? If not, family reasons apart, I’m not sure why one would bother.
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Ok here is my Take on skiing.

I was 42 for 1st ski trip. First few were spent with young kids trying to do it on the cheap. Minding goggles, gloves, lift pass etc. Had a few trips without kids and did improve

Fast forward now 52, need to loose a few stone and not as fit as I should be. Over New Year went skiing with acquaintance and they were a lot better skiers, really felt out of my comfort zone and knew b
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 Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Ok here is my Take on skiing.

I was 42 for 1st ski trip. First few were spent with young kids trying to do it on the cheap. Minding goggles, gloves, lift pass etc. Had a few trips without kids and did improve

Fast forward now 52, need to loose a few stone and not as fit as I should be. Over New Year went skiing with acquaintanceand they were a lot better skiers, really felt out of my comfort zone and knew beforehand this is how it would be.

My ideal holiday is, maybe 10 days, ski for 7, not over New Year or midterm, ski a bit, stop for coffee, ski another few runs, stop for lunch, ski another few runs, ski run to resort, stop for drink, bit of apres, dinner

I love all things snow and winter, mountains and lakes, I spend a lot on this holiday and doing it at my pace from here on.

In a few weeks having our Last family ski trip for a few years, oldest lad getting married, daughter heading off travelling and youest 2 at college, really looking forward to this trip, hopefully 5 days skiing and just making happy memories and lots of photo ups.
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As someone who is currently recovering from having my face smashed in on the piste, I can relate. True story.

It reminded me why I generally only ski on nice days, in fresh snow, as far away from the piste and its missiles as possible. Though I don’t mind a storm day, as long as it’s not too windy.

Ski more, get better, then go far, far away. And contrary to the poster above, skiing is a sport, and while you can get away with poor fitness, you will find it much easier and more rewarding if you are fitter, and you are less likely to get injured. Don’t think that applies your face though. It didn’t apply to mine.
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 Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
Then you can post your own questions or snow reports...
I have these phases of love hate with skiing, usually during the same week. When the rhythm and timing is right it is wonderful and the slopes are quieter even better and the sun is out - wow. I am not a first lift (nor was I ever a first into work either) person but I find for peace the best is to start later and not bother with lunch until 3pm, if at all, and if conditions are not right or it is too busy - download on the gondola if possible. Before I retired I used to ski 2 weeks+ a year - often in one trip. Skiing was such an excellent form of relaxation from work - think about work and you face planted. Also with a two week trip if the weather was **** you did not mind taking a day or two out to go walking. Now skiing has become a lot more expensive, my knees much creakier, and I have developed other hobbies I tend to only go for one week and am only just learning that if the weather is foul - either only ski for an hour or two and go for lunch or a walk rather than try and ski when you are not happy. If conditions are good and skiing well - plenty of blacks. Equally, I love long blue paths through woods - if one can find them - often they are not considered macho enough and therefore they are fairly deserted or are not snow cannoned and closed. Does tend to mean Austria and Switzerland tho' rather than a high French resort as the climate seems colder and more of the resort tends to be below the treeline. Many will disagree but as an example the blue from Kleine Scheidegg at Wengen down past Brandegg to Grund is just stunning. I found a couple of lovely blues in Badgastein last week and the hardly ever open blue from the Hahnenkamm gondola back down to the bottom is amazing. As I ski by myself I do not have to put up with the macho bar talk afterwards either of steeps, deeps and speed. Skiing is not necessarily about kilometreage or the fastest or steepest - it is as much about the satisfaction of a well skied run or two and a good simple lunch in an atmospheric restaurant (albeit in Austria it was only built 20 years ago but pretends very well to be a few hundred year old barn).

....and yes, it is the few out of control speedsters who really put me off. Great skiers have the control to ski fast and safely - sit on a chair lift and you can spot them - apart from anything else the tramlines that there skis make on the listes round all the turns - compare and contrast those hurling themselves down and their skis wash out in all directions - pop off to the side for a turn on the edge of the liste or two and then return without looking at all as to where there are going. Luckily I did not find too many of those last week.



My knees are are whingeing as I type from last week's extravaganza if one can all it that and, yes, despite Friday being a grand day I decided at about 3pm I was not going to face the late afternoon rush and sat in the sun enjoying a beer and a goulash soup and did three or four reasonable turns down to the car park to get the bus back to the hire shop.
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 After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
After all it is free Go on u know u want to!
@TCruise, I expect that everyone here has been through what you are feeling.

The key will be to work out what aspects of skiing works for you, what doesn't and then do more of what works and less of what doesn't.

Whilst skiing is a social sport it is also an individual sport where the only person that you are competing with is yourself. The social side is very competitive with who can tell the best/most extreme story of the day which generally has no relationship with reality or ability at all. We have had some great chalet holidays with complete strangers whose skiing exploits became more and more unbelievable by the day, especially after having spotted them on the slopes.

The great joy of a skiing holiday is the way that you become totally absorbed by what's happening, on quiet days/slopes picking your (not other peoples) ideal line and speed and then executing. On busy days again picking your best line avoiding the idiots making sure you ski a predictable line so you give speeding idiots their best opportunity to miss you. Then when you get back to the chalet get into the seriously competitive sport of story telling.

Skiing with other people can be very stressful, either you feel that they're better than you and that you are holding them up or you're better than them and they are holding you up. It doesn't really matter which way it is both will cause less enjoyment.
Quote:

So, have any of you gone through periods of not enjoying skiing, if so, what changed or how did you change it?

Absolutely by realising that I was there to have a great holiday with my wife and that no-one else really mattered. We stopped going on skiing holidays with friends and just skied for ourselves. Our progress and abilities have diverged over the years and these days I tend to ski more than my wife so we will ski together. She will stop when she wants and I will either also stop or continue skiing on my own. No pressure on either one of us to do what the other wants just acceptance that we each have different requirements on the day.

And finally remember it's a holiday if you don't enjoy icy blacks then don't do them. If you don't enjoy moguls then don't do them (or get mogul lessons, if you still don't enjoy them then don't do them). If it's too busy then head to the bar grab an early lunch then go back out when everyone else is eating. If it's still too busy then just find a place to be calm and enjoy the scenery.
Edit: There is no better place to be
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
Get a snowboard. It’s more fun and most apres braggers will refuse to acknowledge your existence
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 Ski the Net with snowHeads
Ski the Net with snowHeads
Interesting what @Timc says about skiing with others - it is stressful if you are the slowest in the group - and tiring. You just catch up and then they are off again. No matter how much they reassure you that they don't mind, you always get the impression that they do.

I think you have to be very honest with each other. At New Year if we split up, then generally my son would ski with me - cos I need help getting up as I hate the idea of twisting my "new" hip and he wasn't bothered (or said he wasn't, and he worries about me). When we go again husband and friend will want to ski the "red" options, so I have already said I'll take additional stops while they do additional runs - must remember to download some kindle books to my phone! As its March it will hopefully be sunny and I can work on my tan.
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