 Poster: A snowHead
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Dear Sir
Being British I am well versed in the art of ‘tutting’ be that a foreigners or one’s own countryman. However, I am in somewhat of a quandary over at what level one should tut these days. I wondered if others amongst your correspondents are facing similar dilemmas or if this is simply a symptom of me transitioning to becoming what I believe is referred to as an ‘Old Fart’ and instead of tutting one should in point of fact ‘get real’.
It used to be that one could simply stand at the side of the piste contemplating the view and tut at the odd faux pas in the sartorial department and of course the ubiquitous ESF instructor trailing 14+ hapless youngsters, which he/she clearly had no interest in the welfare or competence of whilst drawing on a cheroot. Of course the cheroot has now largely been replaced by the mobile phone.
I now list in no particular order some of the activities on which I would like guidance on whether it is now de rigeur to tut at in the present day:
• The carrying of skis on the shoulder at the horizontal (in my day one was taught to carry skis correctly, just as one was toilet trained).
• The carrying of ski poles at and above the horizontal, particularly in lift queues endangering the anatomy of others.
• The blocking of entries to lifts by parties of associates, with little regard to the need for others to gain access.
• The waiting in lift traps/gates for other members of one’s party to join them – even if they be trapped behind several ranks of other slope users.
• Snow ploughing on and off chair lifts (other than those at the disposal of beginners).
• The instructor who consigns their charges to the care of strangers on a chair lift, before jumping on a following chair to have a good gossip about them with their 'mate'.
• Not checking up a slope (or even gazing up a slope at approaching skiers / boarders) only to pull out in front of them on their approach.
• Jumping on to a piste with little regard for those making progress down it.
• (attempting to) join a line of skiers / boards making progress down a slope regardless of the relative ability of the miscreant and the original party.
• Males (and it is exclusively ‘blokes’) who assume merely on the basis of their gender that they will be able to match the skill and pace of a female slope user, irrespective of relative competence, sometimes with hilarious consequences, but at others with dangerous outcomes. Rather like ‘White van man” vs. female in DHC.
• Skiing on roads in built up areas – I thought that was still illegal and the lack of a local constable enforcing the law is cause for further tutting.
• The wearing of a gaudily fur enhanced ensemble, when the wearer would normally not be seen dead other than in a business suit or a KGB uniform.
Have I missed anything? The advice of others would be much appreciated.
Yours tuttily (if that is not a word it jolly well should be).
Mr SL – currently residing in Tignes.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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@Ski lots, People going into a French cafe/bar ordering in English in a VERY LOUD VOICE and speaking to all their party by name ar once, aaarg😡 Yes we know you are there!!!
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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Ah - mais qui - I understand those with a volume control problem do not confine their activities merely to French cafes.
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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Please add parents smiling indulgently as small child grinds their way from the back to the front of a queue by means of elbows, poles and at times skis applied with force to other queuers anatomy.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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@Ski lots, when the fun is expired it's time to find another pastime . . . 
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@northantsred, Is that true for life in general too?
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@Ski lots, We had a very entertaining thread a while back regarding minor irritations on the mountain. You have certainly touched on a few. Can I add a couple more:
1. People who smoke on chairlifts -actually anyone who smokes on the mountain at all. All that fresh air and then you ski through a cloud of ........eugghhhh 
2. People who stop to re-buckle their boots every time they get off a lift - usually in everyone's way. (That'll stir up a few Snowheads!)
Otherwise you have full permission to tut away to your hearts content, although I would point out that gentlemen who tut would not use the word 'toilet'
@Col the Yeti,
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poles and at times skis applied with force to other queuers anatomy.
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Don't worry, it's not just you, they do it to us heterosexuals as well.
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Golden rule of "tutting" which I think is part of the verb "to tut" "I tut" "he/she tuts" "we tut" etc.
Never ever ever tut at a bald tattooed ex French Legionairre, when they barge past you in a ski lift queue.
Just saying
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At which point should a series of Tuts be replaced by one long, world weary, sigh?
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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@Ski lots, I fully agree with all the points in your original post being worthy of a good solid tut, and may I add the following:
Sitting/standing in the middle of the piste (especially if under the brow of a slope) unless having caught an edge and had a fall = BIG TUT. Especially if this is followed by setting off again without checking uphill ANOTHER MASSIVE TUT. 
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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| jamescollings wrote: |
| At which point should a series of Tuts be replaced by one long, world weary, sigh? |
That, my friend, is an excellent question.
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You know it makes sense.
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I find myself in a state of constant tutting beginning when I see people faffing in the ski room or driving ineptly, continuing while they try to decapitate me/themsleves carrying kit to the lifts, inability to queue efficiently. When I actually get to ski I cut down on the tutting and substitute the rather noveau merikanism "Woah buddy" or "Easy mate" interspersed with the odd loud appeal to a Christian deity when something particularly stupid and proximate to me occurs.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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@Dave of the Marmottes,... unless someone describes your skiing as camp, in which event you are bereft of words. 
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Poster: A snowHead
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Skiing is supposed to be fun! All this tutting must be getting the way of having fun.
Personally I rarely tut, but I do reserve the right to giggle at people in nasty outfits, skiing like they are wearing a full body cast or failing to dismount a lift in style.
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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| queen bodecia wrote: |
| ....I do reserve the right to giggle at people in nasty outfits, skiing like they are wearing a full body cast or failing to dismount a lift in style. |
I had to point out to my daughter in Obergurgl last year, that just because the targets of her fashion-police outbursts weren't British... even the Austrians could see who she was pointing and laughing at!!!
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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| Hurtle wrote: |
| @Dave of the Marmottes,... unless someone describes your skiing as camp, in which event you are bereft of words. |
...that's when I'm at my worst...all that silent seething..biding my time waiting..perhaps years...for my appropriate opportunity for riposte
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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@queen bodecia, +1. special giggle saved for my two daughters who have a habit of turning into one another. Especially when they end up on the same mogul.
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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@Dave of the Marmottes, 
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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Stopping in the middle of the piste - or does that require a shout of "don't stop in the middle of the piste" rather than a tut?
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I find the following Venn diagram fairly helpful
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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Skiing in Champoluc a fortnight ago - I was in a queue for a chair and just about to go through the barrier when a snowboarder carrying his board barged-in, walking across the top of my skis in the process. From his response to my initial tut I realised he was a fellow Glasgwegian and the tutting quickly escalated into a very loud and frank exchange of views. God knows what the Italians in the queue thought about it. I had the last laugh as when he got to the front of the queue the liftie stopped him and his mate and made them put their snowboards on before getting on the chair, thus holding up the whole queue. At this point the previously very loud and aggressive boarder suddenly got very quiet.
Last edited by Ski the Net with snowHeads  on Wed 13-01-16 17:35; edited 1 time in total
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snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
snowHeads are a friendly bunch.
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I find the tutting experience much enhanced by simultaneously looking skywards and rolling my eyes. Gets the point across much more patently than the simple verbal tut.
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And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
And love to help out and answer questions and of course, read each other's snow reports.
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If you cant beat them.....
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I find the tutting experience much enhanced by simultaneously looking skywards and rolling my eyes. Gets the point across much more patently than the simple verbal tut.
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You know it makes sense.
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For me (and i do like a good 'Tut') some of these things fall outside what I might consider tut-worthy.
• The carrying of skis on the shoulder at the horizontal (in my day one was taught to carry skis correctly, just as one was toilet trained).
Although a useful skill to learn I'm happy for people carry their skis in any fashion that means they're not likely to whack another person around the head with their skis -it takes a while to get used to the length and general oddness of having skis on shoulders. so unless they practice turning, off loading and general control first in a collision free environment beginners shouldn't be doing it in crowds. Once a guy didn't check his surroundings before attempting to off load, he lowered his skis as I was walking behind him and dropped his skis in to my eyes - if my eye/nose area wasn't prodtected by my goggles i could have been blinded... There were some bleeping tuts in response to his actions
• The carrying of ski poles at and above the horizontal, particularly in lift queues endangering the anatomy of others.
Having been stabbed in the leg too many times to count i now just poke people with my pole who stab me - tutting is for those who haven't yet learnt that poking someones bottom gets them to stop faster than the tut would.
• The blocking of entries to lifts by parties of associates, with little regard to the need for others to gain access.
• The waiting in lift traps/gates for other members of one’s party to join them – even if they be trapped behind several ranks of other slope users.
Tutting annoying on both these counts. But I just either 'accidentily' ski in to or otherwise become an equal nuisance - If every action has an equal and opposite reaction then annoying me by blocking the access points mean you will be bumped, knocked or fallen in to whilst being tutted at - then asked politely if they would stand behind a door.
• Snow ploughing on and off chair lifts (other than those at the disposal of beginners).
Yes, tuts to the max.
• The instructor who consigns their charges to the care of strangers on a chair lift, before jumping on a following chair to have a good gossip about them with their 'mate'.
No tuts for this one - if the kid is on my chair the likelihood that when the instructtor lights his cigarette the said child, nor me will be smelling like rotting bacon when the top is reached - i think the instructor does me a favour when he hops on a seperate lift with his chum.
• Not checking up a slope (or even gazing up a slope at approaching skiers / boarders) only to pull out in front of them on their approach.
• Jumping on to a piste with little regard for those making progress down it.
Both of these are monster tutters for me. But I haven't yet formulated an equally annoying tut-tic (geddit 'tactic') for dealing with the offenders.
• Males (and it is exclusively ‘blokes’) who assume merely on the basis of their gender that they will be able to match the skill and pace of a female slope user, irrespective of relative competence, sometimes with hilarious consequences, but at others with dangerous outcomes. Rather like ‘White van man” vs. female in DHC.
I just laugh. A tut here would imply annoyance - Guys want to challenge then challenge - if said guy falls or otherwise embarrases ones self, that is far more rewarding than being beaten.
• Skiing on roads in built up areas – I thought that was still illegal and the lack of a local constable enforcing the law is cause for further tutting.
I don't give a tut as long as they're not in the way of vehicles.
• The wearing of a gaudily fur enhanced ensemble, when the wearer would normally not be seen dead other than in a business suit or a KGB uniform.
THE funniest thing on the mountain, absolutely no Tuts given here - they're too entertaining to watch.
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Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
Otherwise you'll just go on seeing the one name:
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Thanks to all respondents. I had to abandon the thread on the grounds (as reported elsewhere on this forum) that they started opening lifts in Tignes and the sun came out. Having said that I was reminded of further reasons to tut, which I will not bore the collective with. However, I do now feel generally reassured in my tut-dum.
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Poster: A snowHead
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- When there is a long queue for a chairlift, people letting a six or eight pack go up with only one or two people, so that they can go up with all of their mates
- Pole planting in lift queues
- The noise at the Folie Douce (the tut will not be heard above the Drum and Bass)
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Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
Obviously A snowHead isn't a real person
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@Ski lots, for the benefit of us who haven't been taught to carry our skis "correctly", what do you consider to be the correct method?
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Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
Well, the person's real but it's just a made up name, see?
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You need to Login to know who's really who.
You need to Login to know who's really who.
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Of course if the transgression is particularly egregious one is allowed to expand the tut to a full throated harrumph! 
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Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
Anyway, snowHeads is much more fun if you do.
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You'll need to Register first of course.
You'll need to Register first of course.
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@sugarmoma666, quote]
@Ski lots, for the benefit of us who haven't been taught to carry our skis "correctly", what do you consider to be the correct method?
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like a rifle against your shoulder with your hand gripping between the bindings is best in my opinion
@DavidYacht,
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When there is a long queue for a chairlift, people letting a six or eight pack go up with only one or two people, so that they can go up with all of their mates
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maybe the lifties in the alps should be like their American counterparts and organise/enforce that no chairs go up without being full, with approaches to the lift being channelled in lines, instead of sitting on a chair in front of the lift cabin following the rays from the sun, 25 years ago I went on my one and only trip to the states and still cannot believe it has been put into place as standard!!!!
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@Ski lots, for the benefit of us who haven't been taught to carry our skis "correctly", what do you consider to be the correct method?
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- The noise at the Folie Douce (the tut will not be heard above the Drum and Bass)
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Pff they play House and Dance music, no DnB in sight (or earshot) 
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You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
You'll get to see more forums and be part of the best ski club on the net.
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| Quote: |
@Ski lots, for the benefit of us who haven't been taught to carry our skis "correctly", what do you consider to be the correct method?
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There is more than one way to skin a cat and any method that does not interfere with others will suffice. However, the preferred method for adults with 'normal' sized skis i.e. not blades or similar,walking any distance, is over one shoulder with both bindings behind the shoulder, tips down with hand of same side griping lightly at the shovel. Skis are much better balanced and both tips and tails are not a danger to anyone else - as long as you check before dismounting them - simples.
@Kooky I am not personally a keen user of the EPC although Mrs SL is a great enthusiast, usually accompanied by a contemptuous smile (it's the only one she has) at the racing snowplougher she is overtaking.
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oops: double post
Last edited by Ski the Net with snowHeads on Wed 13-01-16 19:18; edited 2 times in total
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FAQ
A tut will go unheard but a cheerful click click of your poles should garner a response. This maneuver is especially enjoyable when overtaking almost stationary snowboarders 
